• Derp moments.
    966 replies, posted
fall asleep when watching tv,5 ppl around me then i woke up cuz somebody slaps me ''Goddamnit stop sleeping''my response is:I am not sleeping goddamnit!
When I was 5 me and my dad were eating a meal in this small restaurant, I had just finished drinking about 5 glasses of root beer, when suddenly I let loose this monstrous belch, rivaling the noise of a jet taking off, and it lasted for about 5 seconds, (which is quite a long life for a belch). The entire restaurant went silent for about 2 minutes, then this stranger about 60 years of age walked over, gave me a high five, and said, "That was at least a 10 on my scale." My dad just started laughing. 2 or 3 tables walked out and left, apparently i ruined their meals.
reading this
Sometimes if I wake up really early, I accidentally mistake the orange juice container for the milk and end up putting OJ in cereal.
Half asleep at breakfast table, drift off into sleep, suddenly wake up grabbing for the keyboard and mouse. I go on here too much.
I head downstairs to make a french press of coffee. Forget mug. Go upstairs. Browse internet for 20 minutes. Realize what I've done and curse loudly. Run back downstairs. Wait you forgot your mug. Go upstairs. Start playing video games. Look at mug on desk. Fuck!
go to kitchen, boil kettle, go back to tv or pc realize what i was doing go back to kettle and the waters gone cold :(
Proceeded to wish a bunch of people at school a "nice half term" when it's the easter holidays. They're the same thing in my mind, dammit :downs: [editline]12th April 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=Impulse101;28777265]A few months back at school when it was time to go home it was raining really bad and it was kind of hard to see, so while I was waiting for my mom to pick me up I saw her car then I ran through the rain and hurried getting inside. Once in the car, I looked around and see a little girl next to me and thought my little sister brought some friends over but then I look at the person who's driving and yes you've guessed it. I entered the wrong car. I felt so embarrassed but in the same time sort of relieved that the driver is my mom's friend, I explained her that I thought this is my mom's car (since we also own a Honda Fit with the same color, apparently) and apologized, we both laughed a bit and I leave to continue the day as usual. Thank goodness it wasn't a complete stranger's car or it would've been even more awkward :v:[/QUOTE] I did something like this before, it's funny how your brain only makes like 2 checks at most and if they're okay, you just go ahead and do it
fall asleep in class wake up My mind:WHERE THE FUCK AM I!? fall back asleep wake up My mind:OH GOD WHAT'S GOING ON fall back asleep wake up My mind:ASDGLLHLBLLL so on so forth until my brain is just fucking broken.
I lost my wallet, due to me thinking it was a good idea to stuff it in a small pocket with a granola bar.
Today actually, We were learning about the electoral college system of voting. I had Louisiana as my car with 5 votes that were coded black. The teacher called out for Louisiana and I voted for green. She looked at me weird and then continued to keep asking me if it was black. I kept saying green, then my friend looked at it and said "dude its black" then I had a derp face. I have no fucking idea what I was thinking.
Was up late the night before, dad and I go to Taco Mac (Burger joint kinda place). Sipping sweet tea and talking about video games, I close my eyes for a second and reach for my cup and put straw to lips and start sucking. "Why is no tea coming up?" I open my eyes and see my dad giving me an odd look and I notice my cup on the table. I had the ketchup bottle in my mouth. :downs: I quickly snap awake and put the bottle down slowly and hope no one noticed.
[QUOTE=kevinseven;29140659]Was up late the night before, dad and I go to Taco Mac (Burger joint kinda place). Sipping sweet tea and talking about video games, I close my eyes for a second and reach for my cup and put straw to lips and start sucking. "Why is no tea coming up?" I open my eyes and see my dad giving me an odd look and I notice my cup on the table. I had the ketchup bottle in my mouth. :downs: I quickly snap awake and put the bottle down slowly and hope no one noticed.[/QUOTE] did the ketchup squirt in your mouth a little
I always press "1" on my keyboard whenever I want to move something in a computer program. Looking for the physgun. :doh: Edit: That's like the most funny ratings I've ever got.
I have used my mobile as mouse and then realized why the cursor didn't move. Reset my machine during the static freeze screen in Arkham Asylum thinking the graphics went corrupt. It was actually Batman's memory going apeshit.
Oh yeah I remember another derp moment It was 9th grade and while mid-class I saw my friend playing with his armpit hair (don't ask me why he did :v:) then I randomly blurt out "Dude why are you playing with your pubic hair?" then the entire class burst into laughter including the teacher while my friend was yelling about he was playing with his armpit hair and not his pubes which made the class laugh even harder for around 10 straight minutes. Good times.
I was holding a glass of milk in my left hand and i wanted to check what time it was so i rotated my hand so i could see my watch therefore pouring the entire glass of milk on myself...felt pretty stupid after that one.
Feel like food None available. Buy some more Still none available. Wait a few days A huge Bunch is bought. Go home to eat the food Don't want it anymore FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
[QUOTE=bak_to_basix;28905760]Sometimes I'll be saying something and just stop in the middle of what I'm saying and stare at nothing in particular. [editline]30th March 2011[/editline] Not on purpose[/QUOTE] I do this when I'm drunk
Walk into lounge room to watch TV where TV is still switched on, sit down with remote, switch off TV.
peed in the swimming pool when i was 6 the water around me was purple- everyone evacuated and i was left there sad and alone :saddowns:
I'd see a doctor about that.
[QUOTE=gingerninja500;29145296]peed in the swimming pool when i was 6 the water around me was purple- everyone evacuated and i was left there sad and alone :saddowns:[/QUOTE] wtf man
[QUOTE=Pilotguy97;29143873]Feel like food [/QUOTE] I'm a food trapped in a man's body
Boiled some eggs and forgot to eat them, so i put them in the microwave even though i didn't crack them open. The results were mind"blasting"...
Spent 10 minutes frantically searching for my glasses without realizing I was wearing them. Wearing sunglasses and wondering why it was so dark. Walking around the house holding the tv remote, then realizing I still had it.
[QUOTE=Raptortheawesome;29145511]I'd see a doctor about that.[/QUOTE] in english swimming pools there are chemicals that turn urine purple
I thought I lost my detachable microphone from my headset once, So I switched to speakers and used the headphones as microphones (Just put the jack in the mic slot). I got annoyed when the microphone on my headset kept poking me in the eye, then I swear I made myself lose braincells.
Snore during class
I was making a cup of tea and it was time to stop pouring from the kettle. I tilted it the wrong way.
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