-Once I woke up in the middle of the night and tried to smother a can of soda with my pillow.When I woke up in the morning my comics that I had on my floor next to my bed where sticky
-I remember back in like 7th or 8th grade when I was studying for my finals I fell asleep, my mom came in to give me cookies that she just made and I said "Give me those fingers"
Only while saying something important, I will either lose all ability to speak English or completely forget what I was saying. I may also get stuck in a ridiculous run-on sentence involving things nobody else cares about and take forever to get back on topic.
Also, this year I have been taking my cell phone to school every single day, even though I never use it. One time I left it at home for god knows what reason and forgot about this simple fact. After gym class I go back to change back into my clothes, and can't find it. I immediately assume it was stolen, and talk to the gym teacher and the school resource officer (police officer posted at the school). I didn't realize I'd left it at home until I actually got home.
That was almost as bad as and only a couple days after the time I tried to report to the SRO that someone jacked off in a bathroom stall on the second floor. I was sitting on the toilet too, didn't realize anything for several minutes, when i saw it dripping off the rail. Later my friend said he found it too and it was also on the toilet seat. :geno:
I was watching a short Disney animation with Pluto in it. I saw him/it coughing and imitated. I gave myself a lung infection.
One time i forgot how to breathe and freaked out and punched my pillow.
Alot of times i throw a spoon in the garbage by mistake.
Putting the milk where the cereal goes
Go to do something in a different room and then forget why i was even there in the first place
Forgetting words mid sentence
One time i put koolaid in my cerial
And my best one: I was Nuking an a&w burger, witch come in little tinfoil bags, i put the burger in while still in the bag. i go to get a plate for it and out of the corner of my eye i see a light, i assumed it was the lamp by the oven. i go to shut it off to find its not on. i turn around and see the goddamned microwave is on fire.
Some times im reading a book and then totally space out and forget what i read.Then i have to reread that section again.
Put butter on my toast before i put it in the toaster
Sometimes when I'm texting and watching tv at the same time, I'll end up accidently texting a random word or phrase from whatever I hear into my text and confuse the hell out of people...
[QUOTE=Fallen Thespian;26326612]Sometimes when I'm texting and watching tv at the same time, I'll end up accidently texting a random word or phrase from whatever I hear into my text and confuse the hell out of people...[/QUOTE]
Do not ever text while watching a porn channel.
"Hey Dad I was wondering when you were going to [B]give it to me baby, oh YEAH![/B]"
I once stayed up REALLY late [del]procrastinating[/del] working on an English essay, and when I went to sleep, it was around 4 in the morning. I had to wake up at 5:45 to get ready for school, and I have around 4 alarm clocks go off at once because I am a heavy sleeper. I woke up to my dad slamming on the door screaming "[b]SHUT THOSE THINGS OFF[/b]" in Russian and 4 loud as fuck alarm clocks going off at once. I was so confused, I just hid under my covers for another 5 minutes before my dad practically ripped my door open and broke all the alarm clocks.
Later, when I was at my bus stop, I got a call from my mom telling me to come home and get some sleep, I was like "[highlight]Fuck Yeah[/highlight]".
Went to school, first class.
Teacher walks in.
"HI MOM!"
I opened a can of Coke and proceded to empty it into the sink. I tried to take a sip.
stayed up for 2 days with 3 cups of coffee.
Played call of duty modern warfare 2.
somehow I ended up trying to turn off my tv with a AA battery pack
Bought an ice cream at school once, took it out of it's wrapping, threw the ice cream in the bin. :frown:
Last year in 9th grade, I threw out my lunch tray and forgot that I had 2 cookies on it
I spent two weeks putting two tokens into the bus when the fare is only one.
Clearing tabs -> close Youtube.
"Where did the music go?"
[QUOTE=CoolCorky;26295708]There was this one guy at school who I kept asking about my homework when he wasn't in the same class as me. He must have told me like seven times.[/QUOTE]
I do that all the time.
I tried to eat a soda can.
It was sitting right in front of me, and I remembered making a sandwich earlier, so my brain gave the go ahead for eating.
I gnawed on it for nearly a minute before I realized what I was doing.
So the sink in my house has one of those hose faucets, and I've become rather accustomed to using one.
So, at a friends house after dinner, I went to wash my dishes, and tried to pull out the faucet.
I tried to make some ramen, and I sat there for maybe twenty minutes wondering why the water was taking so long to boil. Then I realized I never turned the burner on.
I turned on the oven with the intention of making cookies, I left to wait for it to heat up and completely forgot it, when I came back later I wondered why the oven was on and turned it off.
Later that day I remembered I had cookie dough, turned on the oven and left to wait for it to heat up, and did the same thing again.
I woke up on the toilet once. It wasn't even the one I usually use in my house. It was really weird.
[editline]27th November 2010[/editline]
[QUOTE=Mr. Someguy;26328252]Clearing tabs -> close Youtube.
"Where did the music go?"[/QUOTE]
iTunes.
I looked at a clock that said 5:53 and immediately started to flip the fuck out because I thought it said 5:63.
I was 1 minute away from being late to my second class, and I fell up the stairwell, and all of my papers flew out of my books down the empty shaft. Took me a few minutes to pick it all up, and I was late to my class.
[QUOTE=FatalTomato;26322979]I accidentally dropped a spoon down the drain. I then tried to hit the light switch so I could see it and pull it out. The light was already on. After turning the light off and coming to the conclusion that that was not the right switch I then hit the other switch, thus activating the garbage disposal.[/QUOTE]
Good thing you didn't reach in yet.
[editline]27th November 2010[/editline]
Oh my friend stuck his hand in a blender once because his sister dared him to.
He made 5 cents.
Sometimes I forget which direction the number "3" goes.
I couldn't find my sweatshirt.
I've been wearing it all damn day.
Mom goes to store to buy microphone for computer said microphone is taken off the shelf and being purchased said she comes home only to think she leaves said paid for microphone on the cashier counter so said microphone was on the table for 3 whole hours before said mom notices microphone
My mom woke me up for school one day and told my to go take a shower. I proceeded to walk towards the stairs (complete oppopsite direction of the bathroom). The conversation went something like this
Mom: Tyler, where are you going?
Me: Downstairs
Mom: Go take a shower
Me: Okay
*I walk towards the stairs again*
Mom: TYLER WHERE ARE YOU GOING
Me: DOWNSTAIRS
Mom: I SAID GO TAKE A SHOWER
Me: OKAY MOM, JESUS
*Walks toward the stairs again*
Mom: TYLER I'M NOT PLAYING ANYMORE. I SAID GO TAKE A SHOWER.
Me: Oh
Needless to say I was barely awake.
An old classmate of mine were sitting infront of his computer fapping. After a while his mom told him to take his dog out for a walk. He gets out of his room, not paying any attention that his pants are still down and his dick swinging in the air. His little sister (8 years old) came by walking around and saw everything. She started screaming and ran back to her mom. I didn't see him the next day in school.
can't find xbox controller
rage
right by my keyboard
[QUOTE=Zoook;26328420]Sometimes I forget which direction the number "3" goes.[/QUOTE]
Same, but with D.
I've forgotten how to swallow fluids a few times while drinking.
[editline]27th November 2010[/editline]
[QUOTE=shadow_of_intent;26329173]Same, but with D.[/QUOTE]
I often do p instead of lowercase d, then I draw a line going the otherway that's longer than the wrong one.