This reminds me of Doom: Repercussions of Evil.
[quote]DOOM: Repercussions of Evil
John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.[/quote]
Not that they are a similar story, but just because they are held among the worst fan-fics ever. Obviously made by trolls on fan-fic websites, but they are hilarious nonetheless.
[quote]John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.
John Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle and normal people close because he was in his office lab coat. John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences" so he had to go.
John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept driving down the road and made sure there was no zombies around because he ddint have weapon.
The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for John Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys".
John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs.
"I cant give you my lisense officer" John Freeman said
"Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.
"Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.
John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Ravenholm" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so John Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again.
John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman. John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house.
John Freeman said "Zombie goasts leave this place" and the zombie goasts said "but this is our house" and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece.
Then John Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs.
When John Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Gorden Freeman fightin the final bosss and Gordon said "John Freeman! Over here!" so John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.
Gordon Freeman said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. John Freeman said "thanks i could help, bro" and Gordon Freeman said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.
The laughed overed quickly though because John Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said "NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!" and John Freeman walked real fast out.
John Freeman loked back and saw Gordon get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.
"I'll get you back evil boss!" John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.
to be continued..?[/quote]
THIS is the greatest worst fan-fic ever.
Abra kedavra, bitch!
[QUOTE=JohnnyMo1;16185318]Abra kedavra, bitch![/QUOTE]
Don't forget you have to point your womb at the enemy!
[QUOTE=PromiscuousPancake;16182556]So, I've heard a lot of talk about this fanfic. I'm pretty sure it's a troll who wrote the whole thing, but it's hilarious nonetheless, seeing as there is a good majority of horny teenage girls who write fanfics like this.
Just thought you guys might enjoy it.
[url]http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapters122.htm[/url]
Excerpt:
I haven't read through the whole thing, but I'm working on it. :B It's good for a few lulz.
Post your favorite parts if you like.[/QUOTE]
Why where you looking at fanfiction?
:crossarms:
Are you SURE this isn't satire?
[QUOTE=Canuhearme?;16185333]Don't forget you have to point your womb at the enemy![/QUOTE]
Then I will be triumelephant!
[editline]08:15PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=yuki;16185340]Are you SURE this isn't satire?[/QUOTE]
I'm fairly certain it is.
[Quote=OP]Original Post[/quote]
[QUOTE=Wootnam;16183161]This makes John Freeman sad.[/QUOTE]
[URL=http://img33.imageshack.us/i/johnfreemanlook.gif/][IMG]http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/4526/johnfreemanlook.gif[/IMG][/URL]
No fanfiction will ever beat the Half Life: Full Life Concequences saga in my eyes. John Freeman is my hero.
There's a dramatic reading of this by Hellfire Commentaries:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4SCYOvh9zA&feature=PlayList&p=857359156BA76F56&index=0[/media]
[QUOTE=TTamH;16187514]There's a dramatic reading of this by Hellfire Commentaries:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4SCYOvh9zA&feature=PlayList&p=857359156BA76F56&index=0[/media][/QUOTE]
Good lord. Even a narrator with a much better sounding accent can't save this story.
Wow this sucks more than my fourth grade books I wrote, and those are pretty bad.
MAybe I'll post them some time. :V
Well, I read all I could of this awful, awful thing. It's amazing that the author not only manages to destroy what dignity the Harry Potter series has, but also the English language as well. I really hope this is a troll, otherwise, my faith in humanity is pretty much gone.
My BRAIN. WHAT THE FUCK. MY BRAIN. HELP IT PLEASE, MY SANITY WENT AWAY wait my mouse is ringing.
[QUOTE]Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.[/QUOTE]
You mean [B]penis[/B] and [B]vagina[/B]?
... I can't stop laughing, if I laugh anymore I'm scared I'll wake my boyfriend up D:
[QUOTE=Llivavin;16185335]Why where you looking at fanfiction?
:crossarms:[/QUOTE]
Someone posted it on another forum I go onto. :P
I don't read fanfiction unless it hilariously god-awful.
[quote]Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.
“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.
I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. [/quote]
Why would you cry tears of blood at that?
[QUOTE=Sasoreh;16188555]Why would you cry tears of blood at that?[/QUOTE]
Blood comes from my eyes just reading it, I can't imagine being in it.
[quote]he put his boy’s thingy in mine[/quote]
Again, I wish the writer would just say penis. However hearing it being called stuff like "his boys thingy" makes me laugh like hell.
[QUOTE=Sasoreh;16188651]Again, I wish the writer would just say penis. However hearing it being called stuff like "his boys thingy" makes me laugh like hell.[/QUOTE]
Has much as I hate this site...
[url]http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IKEAErotica[/url]
That does it. Gentlemen, allow me to bring some balance to this discussion.
The following video was designed to troll a guy calling himself "Joe_Cracker", who wrote the script for what he believed to be the best Zelda movie ever. These guys took it and turned it into a real animated movie, which, story-wise, follows the script word for word. The result is something so bad it's friggin' awesome.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_CtKEjoMfI[/media]
Also along that train of thought, here's the Turkish rip-off of Star Wars.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx7PYAAOwxE[/media]
[quote]“Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco…………….Volfemort has him bondage!”[/quote]
Oh shit guys. Volfemort has him bondage!
...Wait... what?
Whenever I read this I always picture Dumbledore as Samuel L Jackson.
It just fits.
WHAT THE HELL YOU DOIN, MOTHAFUCKAS?
I'm actually not sure if who wrote this is a troll or... just an idiot.
It's so bad, it's hard to believe someone could write something this bad with so many inconsistency's.
[editline]04:47AM[/editline]
[quote]He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. [B]He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.[/B][/quote]
...As you do...
[quote]We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. “[B]Allah [/B]Kedavra!”[/quote]
I lol'd.
[QUOTE=PromiscuousPancake;16182556]So, I've heard a lot of talk about this fanfic. I'm pretty sure it's a troll who wrote the whole thing, but it's hilarious nonetheless, seeing as there is a good majority of horny teenage girls who write fanfics like this.
Just thought you guys might enjoy it.
[url]http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapters122.htm[/url]
Excerpt:
I haven't read through the whole thing, but I'm working on it. :B It's good for a few lulz.
Post your favorite parts if you like.[/QUOTE]
ITT you get trolled by a purposely bad fanfic
All fanfiction is bad.
[QUOTE=InsaneInThe;16189197]ITT you get trolled by a purposely bad fanfic[/QUOTE]
ITT: You don't know how to read.
I know it's a troll. :v:
YOu guys shouldn't mock the author so, I could really sympthasize with the main character, who cried tears of blood and...and....an-
Okay, I can't keep that up. This was horrifically bad. In a way that made me laugh, but feel bad. Like a small part of myself was dying just by reading this monstrosity.
[QUOTE=PromiscuousPancake;16189278]ITT: You don't know how to read.
I know it's a troll. :v:[/QUOTE]
ITT you think i actually read the OP! HA
[QUOTE=InsaneInThe;16189292]ITT you think i actually read the OP! HA[/QUOTE]
ITT people find out you are an idiot.
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