• Asshole neighbour poisoned my cat, need revenge ideas.
    180 replies, posted
[QUOTE=pentium;44629274]Find a dead raccoon, tie a brick to it and throw it through his front window. That will get the point across.[/QUOTE] Live raccoon is better. Actually, take a box of raccoons and pour them into his chimney. Just imagine you're sitting there and suddenly like 20 raccoons explode from your fireplace.
You could take a cue from "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" and give him a box with a live Hornet's Nest in it(naturally made to look like a gift). Where you'd find a Hornet's Nest, how you'd get it into a box without getting stung yourself, how you'd give if without giving away the contents and WHY I actually suggested this, I don't know. To sound like a broken record, call the police.
NO WAIT HANG ON Set the raccoons on FIRE Flaming raccoons are way scarier that regular raccoons.
[QUOTE=Katatonic717;44630401]NO WAIT HANG ON Set the raccoons on FIRE Flaming raccoons are way scarier that regular raccoons.[/QUOTE] Fighting animal abuse with animal abuse.
Break all of his car windows with the porcelain from a sparkplug.
If somebody killed my kitty and laughed while I buried it, I don't even know what I'd do man. But it'd be bad. My cat was my best friend, my speechless brother. He wouldn't get away with it. He'd better hope I had enough evidence to turn into the cops.
If you live in merica, just get a concealed weapon carry license then get invited into his home for tea then when he is clearing up the plates shoot him in the back [editline]24th April 2014[/editline] also then poison his kids
I'd go with posting his info on /b/
[QUOTE=lxmach1;44630289]So your only evidence against him is that he smiled while you dug a hole? Are you absolutely certain he poisoned your cat or are you about to jump the gun and ruin someone's life? Are you certain that your cat was poisoned and not bitten by something? Did you go to a professional and check to see what killed your cat? Your neighbor may hate cats, he may hate your cat, he may be an asshole, but you give very little substance in terms of his guilt. What happens if you are wrong?[/QUOTE] He's done this before to other peoples' pets, and has also trapped and hauled off many others to remote locations. Most of the neighbourhood hates him. [sp]I just took it personally when he killed my cat[/sp] But anyway, thanks for all the great ideas guys, it really means a lot! The 4chan, lawn salting, and sugar in the gas tank ideas seem like the best so far. On that note, I've also taken my jug of malathion and poured it in the ditch and the divide between our house. Hopefully the wind should pick up tomorrow and carry it towards his house. He has quite a bit of air conditioners, so hopefully those circulate the smell within. [editline]24th April 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Rangergxi;44629902]I doubt there is enough proof to justify any police action.[/QUOTE] It'd probably just turn into a game of he-said she-said, and besides, that's not as fun as getting revenge anyway.
[QUOTE=FurrehFaux;44631318]He's done this before to other peoples' pets, and has also trapped and hauled off many others to remote locations. Most of the neighbourhood hates him. [sp]I just took it personally when he killed my cat[/sp][/QUOTE] All of you should go to the police together, it's a bit easier to win when you're in a game of "he-said, everyone else said"
post his shit on /b/ and tell them what happened [editline]24th April 2014[/editline] or poison him
Poison him And if he's got any plants, make sure to water them with bleach. That will make them die real quick
Holy shit this is beyond fucked up, I hope your neighbor gets fucked up
From Yahoo answers: wait for a long, long time,let this person think that you have forgotten about him,then, ring his home when you know he is out,when his wife answers the phone say is your husband there,she will of course say no,you then say,he'll know who I am,just tell him to keep away from my wife or I'll kill him
Beat the shit out of him with your friends.
Plant some Japanese knotweed outside his house. Good luck trying to get rid off it.
Dig a pit in his back yard and fill it with punji sticks and then cover it with leaves. It works best if you smear poison or some shite on the sticks.
Use this [URL="http://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Ass-Mister/dp/B000OCEWGW"]http://www.amazon.com/Liquid-Ass-Mister/dp/B000OCEWGW[/URL] and spray at places he frequently visits. Then sue the fuck out of him for animal cruelty.
Get a gun. Don't kill him, just knee cap him.
Was your cat by any chance pissing and shitting in his yard?
Do the old fashion ding-dong ditch with a flaming bag of poo on his porch, afterwards light his lawn on fire.
[QUOTE=Buck.;44631624]Plant some Japanese knotweed outside his house. Good luck trying to get rid off it.[/QUOTE] but that would lower the value of every house in the neighborhood because people are so terrified about the fact that it will spread, so he would be affected negatively too
I would say to go to the police first. If they don't do anything about it, wait a month or two for things to cool down, then post the guy's information on 4chan. If you do it immediately after the police investigation, you'll only be making yourself suspicious.
[QUOTE=NoobSauce;44631722]Do the old fashion ding-dong ditch with a flaming bag of poo on his porch[/QUOTE] I'd do something similar to this. Put a pretty little present wrapped with nice paper and a ribbon on top somewhere around his house. Choose rather obvious spots and keep doing this from time to time. Start with his main door, then maybe the door to his backyard, beside his car, on a window ledge and so on. Don't forget to always shit into the box before wrapping it. [editline]24th April 2014[/editline] Alternatively, if you don't want to shit into it, microwave a snickers and put into the box. Spray some bullshit spray in it and it will have the same effect.
ok here's a few goodies, but you're gonna have to be ballsy put shrimps in a bag and leave it in the sun, then hide it under his porch or something, it will smell like shit and if you hide it well then he wont find it heat up the bottom on some (or many) marshmallows and stick them to his car If its a cold night then take cotton balls, dip them in water and stick them to his car (the more the better, its nearly impossible to get rid of them without scratching the car) puncture his tires put super glue on a potato and shove it in his cars exhaust, dont use a big potato because you wanna shove it far up (hehe) I'll get more if I can
Infest his house with fleas and fire ants. The delivery method is up to your imagination, but as someone who had to deal with a simultaneous invasion of fleas and fire ants it is the worst thing in the world.
Shove something up the tailpipe of his car and watch as it goes up in glorious revenge.
Fill his house with butane. Light a match and watch that fucker go boom. Then shoot him in both legs, cut his cock off and feed it to him. Screwdrive his eyes out. Blow up his car. Get a horse to rape him. Bite off his nipples and put them in his nose. Set him on fire. Fill his ass with jet fuel and light it. Make a dildo of gunpowder and stick it into his urethra, make it blow up, sending tiny fragments of penis meat everywhere. Fill his ears with acid. Chainsaw out his intestines. Hatchet his face into oblivion. Amass a huge ammount of radiactive waste and dump it in his backyard, chlorophorm him and put him out there, watch him die from cancer. Paint dicks all over his car and run him over. Give him a forced sexual reassignment surgery without anasthetics. Roll a cigarette with diarrhea and force him to smoke it. Fuck his wife and cut her ass off and wear it like a hat. Stick a sharpie in his pooper and yank it around untill he bleeds. Revive Hitler and get him to rape the asshole, send Hitler a thankyou card afterwards. Blast Anal Cunt constantly at ear shattering volumes into his house. Fill his ass with shards of glass. Blowtorch his ass shut and feed him mexican food. SWAT him. Spank him to death with an electrical flyswatter. Be sure to gas his entire family and anyone remotely associated with him too. R.I.P your cat.
[QUOTE=Slarav;44632795]Fill his house with butane. Light a match and watch that fucker go boom. Then shoot him in both legs, cut his cock off and feed it to him. Screwdrive his eyes out. Blow up his car. Get a horse to rape him. Bite off his nipples and put them in his nose. Set him on fire. Fill his ass with jet fuel and light it. Make a dildo of gunpowder and stick it into his urethra, make it blow up, sending tiny fragments of penis meat everywhere. Fill his ears with acid. Chainsaw out his intestines. Hatchet his face into oblivion. Amass a huge ammount of radiactive waste and dump it in his backyard, chlorophorm him and put him out there, watch him die from cancer. Paint dicks all over his car and run him over. Give him a forced sexual reassignment surgery without anasthetics. Roll a cigarette with diarrhea and force him to smoke it. Fuck his wife and cut her ass off and wear it like a hat. Stick a sharpie in his pooper and yank it around untill he bleeds. Revive Hitler and get him to rape the asshole, send Hitler a thankyou card afterwards. Blast Anal Cunt constantly at ear shattering volumes into his house. Fill his ass with shards of glass. Blowtorch his ass shut and feed him mexican food. SWAT him. Spank him to death with an electrical flyswatter. Be sure to gas his entire family and anyone remotely associated with him too. R.I.P your cat.[/QUOTE] Well someone's got isseus
[QUOTE=Slarav;44632795]Fill his house with butane. Light a match and watch that fucker go boom. Then shoot him in both legs, cut his cock off and feed it to him. Screwdrive his eyes out. Blow up his car. Get a horse to rape him. Bite off his nipples and put them in his nose. Set him on fire. Fill his ass with jet fuel and light it. Make a dildo of gunpowder and stick it into his urethra, make it blow up, sending tiny fragments of penis meat everywhere. Fill his ears with acid. Chainsaw out his intestines. Hatchet his face into oblivion. Amass a huge ammount of radiactive waste and dump it in his backyard, chlorophorm him and put him out there, watch him die from cancer. Paint dicks all over his car and run him over. Give him a forced sexual reassignment surgery without anasthetics. Roll a cigarette with diarrhea and force him to smoke it. Fuck his wife and cut her ass off and wear it like a hat. Stick a sharpie in his pooper and yank it around untill he bleeds. Revive Hitler and get him to rape the asshole, send Hitler a thankyou card afterwards. Blast Anal Cunt constantly at ear shattering volumes into his house. Fill his ass with shards of glass. Blowtorch his ass shut and feed him mexican food. SWAT him. Spank him to death with an electrical flyswatter. Be sure to gas his entire family and anyone remotely associated with him too. R.I.P your cat.[/QUOTE] seek help
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.