what can you use a cock for besides peeing and sex
154 replies, posted
if the passenger in front of you refuses to use a seat belt, strap them to the chair with it.
I saw a guy on tv lift a can of paint with his.
"You can't, Peter. Nobody can. It's too late." Her voice was shaking. "I'm sorry," She whispered. The folly of man overwhelmed her as she sobbed. "I'm so sorry." Peter did not turn to face her. He didn't have time.
In twelve veiny, throbbing seconds Manhattan would be doomed. Peter knew that what he was trying was crazy. Crazy enough to work. The device had no buttons to press, no red or blue wires to cut. The damned thing defied all logic and good sense. His only hope was the hole on one side of the bomb. A hole made for a specific, perhaps impossible girth. He had to try.
Some men would call it premature ejaculation. The good people of New York City called it a miracle. With two seconds left on the timer, the bomb's inner machinery had been clogged by a gooey, righteous emission. History will remember this day as one of great triumph.
If you're extra talented you can use it to siphon gas.
Or, if you have the right diet, it can be a source of [I]natural[/I] gas.
Pelvic sorcery
[QUOTE=DocWalrus;46833658]"You can't, Peter. Nobody can. It's too late." Her voice was shaking. "I'm sorry," She whispered. The folly of man overwhelmed her as she sobbed. "I'm so sorry." Peter did not turn to face her. He didn't have time.
In twelve veiny, throbbing seconds Manhattan would be doomed. Peter knew that what he was trying was crazy. Crazy enough to work. The device had no buttons to press, no red or blue wires to cut. The damned thing defied all logic and good sense. His only hope was the hole on one side of the bomb. A hole made for a specific, perhaps impossible girth. He had to try.
Some men would call it premature ejaculation. The good people of New York City called it a miracle. With two seconds left on the timer, the bomb's inner machinery had been clogged by a gooey, righteous emission. History will remember this day as one of great triumph.[/QUOTE]
did you write this
write more things
As a soft plushie
and for doing no hands push ups.
Towelhanger
[QUOTE=fritzel;46834730]As a soft plushie
and for doing no hands push ups.[/QUOTE]
[video=youtube;2fJkcsOkRb0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fJkcsOkRb0[/video]
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edit*
you can use it to type
Open beer bottles
[QUOTE=AkujiTheSniper;46822587]I remember a Soundcloud song someone made entirely out of distorting sounds of his dick hitting a toilet seat several times[/QUOTE]
sorry what
Stirring the punch
[editline]2nd January 2015[/editline]
Upsetting your neighbours
[editline]2nd January 2015[/editline]
If I were on the titanic, I could have used it to plug the hole.
Pooping.
. . .it's a condition. . .
Use it to make it thread of the year 2015
[QUOTE=Emperor Scorpious II;46839130]Use it to make it thread of the year 2015[/QUOTE]
Well shit now that you mention it, the only thing I've talked to FP about this year is stories of cock heroics.
Other things a cock can do:
-Obscure a midget's vision
-Enrage a bull, if you're a Native American
-Interrupt a toast at a wedding
-Make a job interview festive
Sometimes, when no on is looking I do little dick gymnastics and rate em. Like bob up and down, helicopter ect.
There is strict panel and several criteria that make for a 10 rating.
You gotta earn it.
[QUOTE=fritzel;46834730]As a soft plushie
and for doing no hands push ups.[/QUOTE]
Those are called weenie-ups, you git.
[editline]2nd January 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=AkujiTheSniper;46822587]I remember a Soundcloud song someone made entirely out of distorting sounds of his dick hitting a toilet seat several times[/QUOTE]
S-source?
You can attach a metal disc to your dick and use it as a frying pan, it gives maximum control
[QUOTE=Moustacheman;46840378]S-source?[/QUOTE]
It was posted earlier you damned scot
[QUOTE=AkujiTheSniper;46822915]found it
[media]http://soundcloud.com/bong-iguana/making-big-room-out-of-the[/media][/QUOTE]
You could play with your genitals and act like it's some worm monster.
I did that when I was little
Intimidate enemies! Impress friends!
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