• Toilet Paper
    67 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Soleeedus;29622387]I tend to take the whole roll and crumple it into a giant ball and whipe my ass with that.[/QUOTE] When I get $10 I want to spend. I'm making this my title. Also I take like 8+ sheets of it and fold them over into one. That usually clogs the toilet but oh well. And never use napkins as TP, same thing as sticking your finger in a dirty asshole.
One day I wiped hard with walmart and i bled
[QUOTE=deadshot;29622327]dropping the Cosby's off at the pool[/QUOTE] I'm sorry, but did you really just say that?
so this is what gd has become. literal shit threads.
My nan gets asda value toilet roll and it fucking sucks i'm wiping my ass and my fingers break through and you can imagine the rest
Facepunch: The only place you can make a legitimate discussion about which toilet papers to use, and how your ass bleeds after wiping with cheap toilet paper. I use charmin and my ass is happy. I hate using cheap 1 sheet paper, sometimes it really does make my ass bleed. Also, the god damn fucking hair... If I have a really bad shit (Like liquidy or something) I use almost all of the roll just getting it out. I have to use like 10 sheets, then flush so I don't clog the damn toilet.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;29622768]don't flush facial tissues down the toilet[/QUOTE] its not the point man two tissues TWO
[QUOTE=muffinmastah;29622630]What kind of monster turd do you make in that machine?[/QUOTE] Speaking of monster shits. Some guy took a shit atleast the size of a Chipotle burrito. I went to take a piss and there sat that magnificent turd. Peaking up a bit out of the water. It made the water a little brown but it was hidden all the way behind the bend in the toilet. Damn thing musta been atleast a foot long.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;29622624]Probably just some rectal tearing from the night before[/QUOTE] Every post you make is about gay Are you advertising?
[QUOTE=Sharq;29623378]so this is what gd has become. literal shit threads.[/QUOTE] It's always been that way.
[img]http://imgkk.com/i/fp5f.jpg[/img] the best
Nothing pisses me off more than a roll of single-ply in the school bathrooms.
Confucius say: "Man who get drunk and fall face-down into used toilet is truly shit-faced."
If we're all being open then fuck it When I'm wiping my ass I save a little (clean!) tissue and put it in my pockets for when I fap downstairs later when everybody's in bed Hey we're all friends right? \:v:/
From the times I've cut my ass from shitty walmart tp, I was surprised how damn fast it healed. Granted, it wasn't like a huge cut or anything, but I would always expect to feel it for like at least a day. But It's never bothered me for more than a few hours. The ass heals really fast I guess v:v:v [editline]4th May 2011[/editline] I FUCKING HATE asshair as well.
[QUOTE=CaptainQuirk;29623350]I'm sorry, but did you really just say that?[/QUOTE] Ya, why did you say that? Poop is green sometimes.
[QUOTE=David Cameron;29623825]Every post you make is about gay Are you advertising?[/QUOTE] Mr. Cameron are we still up for our 9PM in the men's room at Heathrow
[QUOTE=Zeke129;29622759]I shat in the woods once and I had to wipe for like an hour to remove all the poo residue I firmly believe that sitting on a toilet seat is the optimal shitting position[/QUOTE] It sucks when you do this and its winter so all the leafy plants have no leaves and you forgot the roll of paper.
I wanna try triple ply.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;29622759]I shat in the woods once and I had to wipe for like an hour to remove all the poo residue I firmly believe that sitting on a toilet seat is the optimal shitting position[/QUOTE] Were you sitting on your shit or what Squatting naturally spreads your cheeks so your fecal matter doesn't get smeared between them
[QUOTE=Jund;29625068]Were you sitting on your shit or what Squatting naturally spreads your cheeks so your fecal matter doesn't get smeared between them[/QUOTE] No I was squatting I may have just had one of those unlucky shits that [i]never[/i] wipe clean
I just want one of those Japanese toilets that jerk you off while taking a shit.
When ever i have a perfect shit, i take a picture of it.
I hate those little super-turds that stick out of the water. They make such a horrid smell I have to lean over below the toilet level just to breathe without gagging.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;29625109]No I was squatting I may have just had one of those unlucky shits that [i]never[/i] wipe clean[/QUOTE] Oh god I [b]HATE[/b] those.
Not sure if it's a coincidence or not, but I farted about seven times whilst reading this thread. :butt::tinfoil:
I hate it when my cats come in when I'm in the middle of a glorious shit, staring a the wall. They walk into my leg and I just shit everywhere in the toilet. I also hate it when I'm sick and shit sprays literally all around the toilet bowl.
I hate it when people knock on the door when you're shitting, and you tell them "I'M IN HERE." Then they wait outside the door, which makes it uncomfortable. I'd prefer to shit in peace.
A couple of hospitals I frequent to (when dropping patients off) have a bidet built into the toilet that comes down. I would have no fucking clue who would use that. It's probably got a bunch of other people's shit caked inside the pipe who were brave enough to use it. I wonder how effective a bidet is anyway. I would assume after you'd need to thoroughly dry your ass, because even the smallest amount of moisture lingers on between your cheeks.
I like wrapping my toilet paper around a bowie knife and wiping my ass with that. Well, not really. But it sure feels like it.
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