Yeah, I was at my grandparents house in the guest bedroom. watching some mother fucking family guy, and then i had the urge to fap. So i turn the TV up a little, pull out the laptop and open a few tabs and pick my favorite. Grandfather walks in, mid fap, I slam my laptop shut, I'm under the covers of the bed and he says "Its about to rain, have to shut the window" Shuts the window, Looks over and leaves and in the morning I get the "Lock the door next time" sentence thrown at me. and I just feel awkward as I'm eating my toast.
Never. Having a lock (Sliding lock) on your door helps in that. Installed myself.
well, sort of
i forgot a porn movie in the VCR once
my older bro found it
i said i didnt know anything about it
he just laughed and and said to hide the evidence next time
I had a dream that I got caught jacking off once.
Almost. I was about to fap, had my pants down but not my underwear, luckily I had my incognito window up and my internet crapped out and didn't load the page. My dad thought I was just trying to relax and closed the door.
[editline]15th August 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=DentalDoctor;37245685]you people are weird with some of your stories
like some borderline aspergers shit
just fap in private times when noone's around or even better, gets some pussy/ass[/QUOTE]
Or better yet, fap in rooms no one would guess, such as bathrooms.
[QUOTE=Jund;37204961]The birds and the bees are outdated
If they're fapping they probably know, if they haven't already learned about it from school or the media
What would you even talk about in that situation? Secret fapping techniques?[/QUOTE]
I learned about it by climbing the gym rope in class. I climbed on everything that year after that
Right as soon as I blew my load while in the shower, my dad barged into the bathroom (sister was using the only other one) and asked me if he could take a piss.
I tried my best to respond, but all I could get out while my dick was firing a week's worth of pent-up sperm all over the shower walls was a very weak 'Y-yes'.
Pretty sure my dad didn't suspect me of anything since he just went on with his piss, but goddamn, I've never felt such humiliation during my life.
Yes once by my Grandfather just as I fucking orgasmed.
I span around on my office chair naked, screaming "I WILL MURDER THE QUEEN" as I came followed by a sustained scream as I kept fapping. He then started to scream back at me "THE QUEEN ALREADY HAS MY MARK BOY" before also sustaining a scream as he turned around slowly, slamming the door shut behind himself.
Damn i'm reading this at school, soo hard to maintain a straight face, this is just to hilarous (Sorry if someone feels offended by that)
Ps. Never been caught
finally got a lock on my goddamn door
i've gotten caught cock-in-hand a couple of times.
[QUOTE=SilverBullet;37245510]Mom's boyfriend walked into my room at midnight because he couldn't sleep.
He wanted to see some videos. As soon as he opened the door to come in I switch windows.(several years ago, didn't use tabs lol)
I realize that if he actually read my taskbar then he would have noticed I was watching porn,
He asks if he could see some derren brown videos I told him about, then he turns around I right click on the minimized window and click close,
the porn pops up for nearly 1 second then disappears, IMMEDIATELY after, he is facing the screen again.
I literally had about a 1 second window of time.
Closest call, but it is possible that I might have been caught without me knowing.[/QUOTE]
I don't see why it would be a problem if your bf saw you looking at porn.
Maybe I just don't seem to understand the relationships other people have XP
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37263399]I don't see why it would be a problem if your bf saw you looking at porn.
Maybe I just don't seem to understand the relationships other people have XP[/QUOTE]
His mom's boyfriend*
Nope never caught
almost though, i had a pillow infront of my hand and i was kind of just rubbing, but my other hand was on the mouse and then i quickly switched browsers and then i jumped because i got startled and they just though i got scared
not specificly, but the other day I was sitting at the computer and I hear my roommate go WHO THE FUCK USED MY LOTION TO MASTERBATE?!!
needless to say I died laughing
Here's the thing: use a 3G phone and look up porn in your bed. I never got caught. I can fap just about anywhere I want, it's the best thing ever.
Once I even fapped in my college's toilets. The perfect plan.
I caught my brother once
[editline]16th August 2012[/editline]
Never gotten caught myself
Mother walked in and pulled off the sheets when i was batting once. I was still clothed, but my pants were pulled down below my crotch
wasnt cool, man
I had a dream that I was fapping in the toilet, and afterwards someone opens the door, I am like "Shit, I am done!". So then, my mother looks in my face and asks me if I want to have pancakes tonight. The most awkward dream I've ever had.
First time I was caught, my mom came in and like not even half a second goes by before she shuts the door.
"Take your time."
Afterwards she asked me if I was gay and that she'd be okay with it if I was. I said no and that was pretty much it.
No.
I hide in plain sight.
[QUOTE='TheDark[PL];37269802']I had a dream that I was fapping in the toilet, and afterwards someone opens the door, I am like "Shit, I am done!". So then, my mother looks in my face and asks me if I want to have pancakes tonight. The most awkward dream I've ever had.[/QUOTE]
Well, did you want any pancakes?
[QUOTE=Garik;37273144]Well, did you want any pancakes?[/QUOTE]
Yes, I always love me some pancakes.
How the Hell do you guys hide your sex toys? My family is like the fucking Gestapo, they stick their nose in every inch of the house.
Also there's this one time I almost got caught in which I finished just as the video ended, making me close the tab(s) and I let myself cool down, with jizz still all over my hand and dick. Suddenly my father bursts in the room and I do a quick dick hide, but my hand is still all covered up so I put it under the desk and on my mouse, pretending I was browsing. My dad asks me to check the stock market, so I do it all for him and smoothly avoid him from having to touch the keyboard. After he left I cleaned up my hand and the cum covered mouse.
I was in one of those child home thingies, got caught fapping by a young worker (about 19-21 years old), she just looked at me and gave me this flirty look... Shit was awesome as fuck.
A better question would be, when you got caught did you stop?
[QUOTE=Al Bundy;37271273]First time I was caught, my mom came in and like not even half a second goes by before she shuts the door.
"Take your time."
[B]Afterwards she asked me if I was gay[/B] and that she'd be okay with it if I was. I said no and that was pretty much it.[/QUOTE]
what why
[editline]16th August 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE='TheDark[PL];37269802']I had a dream that I was fapping in the toilet, and afterwards someone opens the door, I am like "Shit, I am done!". So then, my mother looks in my face and asks me if I want to have pancakes tonight. The most awkward dream I've ever had.[/QUOTE]
I had a dream that I had diarrhea and was barfing.
[QUOTE=Lufttygger306;37201595]Without starting a new thread, has anyone in here tried autoerotic asphyxiation (rope around your neck, peter in your hand - arrange it so that you almost strangle to death right before the orgasm) and survived it?
I hear a lot of kids kill themselves in this way[/QUOTE]
Yeah it's great, you should try it.
i though i was the fucking best at ninja fap skills.
One day i had the door closed (i never have it that way) and my mom said "are you masturbating" like it was the most normal thing ever, i answered with a weak "no?" (i wasnt even doing nothing wrong) and she said "oh, ok"
maybe theres a change that a possibility of my parents knowing this stuff is remotly probable.
one of my ex-girlfriends caught me jacking it to a picture of her and she just sat down as if I wasn't even there and made casual conversation and I was like "ok uh I guess this is cool"
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