Friend painted this, so I'm gonna show her off
[t]http://i.imgur.com/wNmn9UO.png[/t]
character progress, any crits/ ideas?
[IMG]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/49828537/Art/paints/characterwip.png[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Maya2008;50201292][img]http://img13.deviantart.net/d845/i/2016/116/3/a/freedom_by_fadingz-da0cwh6.png[/img]
Painted this as a tribute to American election.
May freedom persist!
(No Trump please...)[/QUOTE]
This looks great, I would have that on my wall.
[QUOTE=kirederf7;50212101]character progress, any crits/ ideas?
[IMG]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/49828537/Art/paints/characterwip.png[/IMG][/QUOTE]
Your perspective looks a bit off and the lighting is hard to understand (for me at least). I would take a step back from thinking about light and designing at the same time and focus on one thing at a time. Get some lines for perspective in the background and find a cool silhouette. I don't know anything about the story of the character you're making but giving him a distinct shape will always help. Kind of like you did with his hand - it's much more pointy and less round than the rest of the body and speaks a certain visual language - try to transfer that to the whole character - maybe make him hunched over and have his arms and legs less stiff and more of in a cautious pose, that ought to make the viewer go "That guy's real slimy, I don't want to get near him", if that's what you're going for of course.
[editline]27th April 2016[/editline]
content
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/ypxX0VD.jpg[/IMG]
Having lots of trouble with legs, they always look so off.
Thanks! I'll keep what you said in mind! The pose is just a standard pose though, I want to design armor and clothes on top of it.
Maybe something more in the lines of this?
[IMG]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/49828537/Art/paints/characterwip1.png[/IMG]
Here's a drawing I did back in High school, figured I'll show it off
[img]http://i.imgur.com/q7tf1Hn.jpg[/img]
I surprised myself today because I somehow managed to draw this motorcycle without a reference
[img]http://i.imgur.com/lBtgqzn.jpg[/img]
Engine's are fucked though.
I only know that weird grilly thing and the circle thing in the front
You mean the engine? oh I mean the cylinders.
in a jojo mood lately
here's a little thing
[IMG]https://40.media.tumblr.com/09789aaad3b610c85462f96a0a2e3cf4/tumblr_o6dbcmoGtW1rzx4geo1_r1_500.png[/IMG]
it's transparent too
[t]http://i.cubeupload.com/oGMukr.png[/t]
Curious as to what direction to put this towards, visually I mean.
I found out where to push it;
[IMG]http://i.cubeupload.com/IudILH.png[/IMG]
[IMG]http://s32.postimg.org/cfjqtizbp/IMG_20160429_180811605.jpg[/IMG]
Killing time at a coffee shop
[IMG]http://i.cubeupload.com/d4GYAW.png[/IMG]
Cyborg Superman. Heavily referenced from [URL="http://orig00.deviantart.net/563a/f/2010/089/8/7/cyborg_superman_connected_by_superman8193.jpg"]a poster in a comic[/URL] because I wanted to study how to ink chrome.
[IMG]https://40.media.tumblr.com/612cfd7df09842b0c6e40621a68c3768/tumblr_o6fnx9Xull1ufvvfgo1_540.jpg[/IMG]
[t]http://i.cubeupload.com/CgutkX.png[/t][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/ENaZYz.png[/t][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/vCBy1i.png[/t][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/yCMHMZ.png[/t][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/DV7t6o.png[/t][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/aFzZ8j.png[/t]
Probably done for now.
What font is that?
[QUOTE=Corndog Ninja;50232242]What font is that?[/QUOTE]
[URL="https://www.fontsquirrel.com/fonts/Molot"]Molot[/URL]
[QUOTE=ZombieDawgs;50231036][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/CgutkX.png[/t][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/ENaZYz.png[/t][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/vCBy1i.png[/t][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/yCMHMZ.png[/t][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/DV7t6o.png[/t][t]http://i.cubeupload.com/aFzZ8j.png[/t]
Probably done for now.[/QUOTE]
Loving all your planet pieces
The kerning looks a bit off in some places, like the big space between the E and the N in "Venus". Also the V and the E being too close to each other. It's just a bit off in general
[IMG]http://puu.sh/oD1P2.jpg[/IMG]
WIP
[IMG]http://puu.sh/oD3ua.jpg[/IMG]
update
[img]http://i.imgur.com/1GedhAc.png[/img]
Thought id show off my webcomic, This took longer then it should have but i liked how it turned out. What do you guys think?
[url]http://ask-magicat.tumblr.com/post/143747270254/its-been-along-time-since-weve-had-a-magicat[/url]
So I'm currently working on a novel and I'd appreciate some help with the editing.
[URL="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mQjaWKcEC6s6Ewv5hKekcSLD1EqJ8HufhmpB-DDYlHM/edit?usp=sharing"]Link to Google Docs[/URL]
This is a very early draft for the prologue. Fair warning: it's fantasy genre fiction shite, and it's almost 6000 words. So I would completely understand if none of you want to read it.
If you do decide to read it however, first of all I really appreciate it, please let me know of any errors regarding spelling/grammar/awkward sentences/tense/syntax/whatever else. General impression will also be appreciated. Also any form of critique. Or just read it and rate, that would be cool too.
[QUOTE=Dunsparce;50246932]So I'm currently working on a novel and I'd appreciate some help with the editing.
[URL="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mQjaWKcEC6s6Ewv5hKekcSLD1EqJ8HufhmpB-DDYlHM/edit?usp=sharing"]Link to Google Docs[/URL]
This is a very early draft for the prologue. Fair warning: it's fantasy genre fiction shite, and it's almost 6000 words. So I would completely understand if none of you want to read it.
If you do decide to read it however, first of all I really appreciate it, please let me know of any errors regarding spelling/grammar/awkward sentences/tense/syntax/whatever else. General impression will also be appreciated. Also any form of critique. Or just read it and rate, that would be cool too.[/QUOTE]
Its an interesting setting and character you've got, however I would argue a prologue, particularly one of this length, is unnecessary.
One thing in particular that stood out is the way you began the story with a load of exposition about the city and the mask, shoehorning in the name of the city and the district and the country. Then we are brought to a slow conversation explaining the motives and morals of the main character. These are all things that can be conveyed with far more subtlety as the story unfolds. Besides anything else though it doesn't make a very gripping start.
A much more effective start is in the section just after, where our heroine is stood on the rooftops. You could talk BRIEFLY about the sprawling rooftops of Epsilon Burg, and the rest of Central that lies beyond (thus revealing the name of the setting in a context the viewer can identify with, because at this point they can imagine what the view might look like instead of trying to imagine the place as a whole from just the names printed out of context).
You also don't need to describe every inch of her psyche in that opening paragraph, her feelings, morals, and prowess should become apparent through her actions, and getting to know these things is half the fun of following a character.
On a side note it should be "she lay down" not "she lied down", there were a few other little grammar mistakes like that ("the brave to act" for example) so be careful when you proofread.
[QUOTE=selby3962;50247167]Its an interesting setting and character you've got, however I would argue a prologue, particularly one of this length, is unnecessary.
One thing in particular that stood out is the way you began the story with a load of exposition about the city and the mask, shoehorning in the name of the city and the district and the country. Then we are brought to a slow conversation explaining the motives and morals of the main character. These are all things that can be conveyed with far more subtlety as the story unfolds. Besides anything else though it doesn't make a very gripping start.
A much more effective start is in the section just after, where our heroine is stood on the rooftops. You could talk BRIEFLY about the sprawling rooftops of Epsilon Burg, and the rest of Central that lies beyond (thus revealing the name of the setting in a context the viewer can identify with, because at this point they can imagine what the view might look like instead of trying to imagine the place as a whole from just the names printed out of context).
You also don't need to describe every inch of her psyche in that opening paragraph, her feelings, morals, and prowess should become apparent through her actions, and getting to know these things is half the fun of following a character.
On a side note it should be "she lay down" not "she lied down", there were a few other little grammar mistakes like that ("the brave to act" for example) so be careful when you proofread.[/QUOTE]
Hey thanks for taking the time to do this. I agree with you that the prologue is too long right now, I've been looking into things that I should cut. I've also heard from other people that the beginning was too dull so yeah I'll probably change it/cut it outright.
I like your suggestion about starting it on the rooftops, I'll try that out, as soon as I can anyways.
You're third point I haven't noticed. It's a very good point, I'm still fairly new at this and one of the things I'm still having trouble with is showing, not telling.
As for "brave to act," it was supposed to be a character trait. Anyway yeah I'm still proofreading and I'm constantly finding errors. Just earlier I realized that I wrote there were four beside him on the table when there were only three.
I really appreciate your input, I'll be working on the second draft tomorrow so stuff like this really helps. Once again, thank you.
the absolute most important thing to remember about writing anything with a plot is that pretty much everything should be inferred, not slapped in our face like a wet haddock.
you have a slight problem with run on sentences. you're also switching between past and present tense in some cases, for example:
[quote]"She’s dealt with all of this before, and while she believed these acts to be horrid,"[/quote]
which should be she'[B]d[/B] since it should say she HAD dealt with all of this before.
[quote]"or a simple random act of serial homicides could take place"[/quote] this sentence doesn't make much sense. serial implies more than one, homicides is also plural. in what way is that simple or random?
you might say "yet another random homicide", which implies that homicides are nothing out of the ordinary for the city, though a pitiful state of existence to be used for sure.
another niggle: you shorten the protagonist's name to Lady. is her actual first name Lady? or is it a title? titles are always referred to with a the, as in The Lady.
action scenes are difficult enough to write but you can't wade in by just telling us exactly what happens. describing every single action down to the minutiae is a guaranteed way of making the reader bored.
your grammar when dealing with speech is a little confused. speech is never ended with a period unless it's the absolute end of the sentence/paragraph. if you're going to continue the description afterwards, always use a comma.
also reading on, you constantly repeat your descriptions
[quote]“I don’t deal with politics,” the lady with a mask shrugged. “I help people, if they want change they can wake up any day now and rise to the occasion,” the energetic girl interjected with a laugh. The lady with a mask continued [/quote]
you've made it quite clear that she wears a mask. it's completely unnecessary to repeat this point, she's the only lady around, and unless she takes it off, it's obviously implied that the mask is going to stay on.
[quote]At this point Prinn will use his mana EMP,” Jossiu went on[/quote]
this bugs me. how does a fantasy world that to all rights is pre industrial revolution, let alone WWII era. [url=http://www.futurescience.com/emp/emp-history.html]the term for EMP was only created in the late 50s[/url]
think of some kind of way to describe the [I]action[/I] of the spell, maybe you might say
"Prinn will conjure a manaflash,"
and then later you describe the effects that it creates, knocking out the magical abilities of people nearby, i assume. and so you create curiosity in the reader. "what is a manaflash?" they think. and then later you reveal to them.
a story is incredibly boring when you're told everything from the outset.
also, i found it difficult to understand the timing of the plot. is all of this happening at once? is some of it a flashback? it may be necessary to have time markers to clarify things.
in addition, keep a strong focus on who you want the POV to be from. ostensibly it's supposed to be lady, and in that case, you can't really extrapolate events and feelings of other people.
yet another issue, you introduce no less than 10 names in the space of 6000 words. are these characters going to be important later? it's fairly unnecessary to describe and define characters unless they're going to be a considerable part of the story. design your mooks and leave them nameless where possible. the reader doesn't need to know that the bouncer of the hillsbrook tavern is called ralph martin and he has a wife and two kids and also enjoys poker night.
[B]is it relevant to the plot?[/B] an important question and one you should be asking yourself throughout all of your writing.
hopefully this should give you an idea of where to improve your writing.
Hey, thanks for taking the time to do this.
[QUOTE=lintz;50248426]the absolute most important thing to remember about writing anything with a plot is that pretty much everything should be inferred, not slapped in our face like a wet haddock.
you have a slight problem with run on sentences. you're also switching between past and present tense in some cases, for example:
which should be she'[B]d[/B] since it should say she HAD dealt with all of this before.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I understand. The problem was I started with present tense, then decided it was ill-fitting, so I had to go back and change it to past tense. I know I missed a lot, thanks for pointing one out though, it helps.
[QUOTE]this sentence doesn't make much sense. serial implies more than one, homicides is also plural. in what way is that simple or random?
you might say "yet another random homicide", which implies that homicides are nothing out of the ordinary for the city, though a pitiful state of existence to be used for sure.
[/QUOTE]
I'll play around with this.
[QUOTE]another niggle: you shorten the protagonist's name to Lady. is her actual first name Lady? or is it a title? titles are always referred to with a the, as in The Lady.[/QUOTE]
It's a nickname, I'm thinking of changing the name entirely though. I intended for the name to be silly but I don't know how I feel about it now.
[QUOTE]
action scenes are difficult enough to write but you can't wade in by just telling us exactly what happens. describing every single action down to the minutiae is a guaranteed way of making the reader bored.[/QUOTE]
Yeah this is my first time writing action scenes and I'm having a lot of trouble with it. I've been told to read [I]The Princess Bride[/I] and learn from what the author does, so I might just do that.
[QUOTE]your grammar when dealing with speech is a little confused. speech is never ended with a period unless it's the absolute end of the sentence/paragraph. if you're going to continue the description afterwards, always use a comma.[/QUOTE]
Thanks for pointing that out. I do know this of course, but sometimes my finger hits the wrong key and I don't notice.
[QUOTE]also reading on, you constantly repeat your descriptions
you've made it quite clear that she wears a mask. it's completely unnecessary to repeat this point, she's the only lady around, and unless she takes it off, it's obviously implied that the mask is going to stay on.
[/QUOTE]
Noted, will fix.
[QUOTE]this bugs me. how does a fantasy world that to all rights is pre industrial revolution, let alone WWII era. [url=http://www.futurescience.com/emp/emp-history.html]the term for EMP was only created in the late 50s[/url][/QUOTE]
You're right lmao, that makes no fucking sense. Manaflash is a great suggestion though.
[QUOTE]think of some kind of way to describe the [I]action[/I] of the spell, maybe you might say
"Prinn will conjure a manaflash,"
and then later you describe the effects that it creates, knocking out the magical abilities of people nearby, i assume. and so you create curiosity in the reader. "what is a manaflash?" they think. and then later you reveal to them.[/QUOTE]
Thank you, I'll probably use this.
[QUOTE]a story is incredibly boring when you're told everything from the outset.
also, i found it difficult to understand the timing of the plot. is all of this happening at once? is some of it a flashback? it may be necessary to have time markers to clarify things.[/QUOTE]
I'll play around with this idea.
[QUOTE]in addition, keep a strong focus on who you want the POV to be from. ostensibly it's supposed to be lady, and in that case, you can't really extrapolate events and feelings of other people.
yet another issue, you introduce no less than 10 names in the space of 6000 words. are these characters going to be important later? it's fairly unnecessary to describe and define characters unless they're going to be a considerable part of the story. design your mooks and leave them nameless where possible. the reader doesn't need to know that the bouncer of the hillsbrook tavern is called ralph martin and he has a wife and two kids and also enjoys poker night.
[B]is it relevant to the plot?[/B] an important question and one you should be asking yourself throughout all of your writing.[/QUOTE]
Six out of ten names are relevant, I'll go ahead and remove the four that are not.
[QUOTE]hopefully this should give you an idea of where to improve your writing.[/QUOTE]
It does, once again, thank you for helping out. You have no idea how much this means to me.
Can I get any decent colour theory guides/PDFs? I'm trying to color this and it just doesn't look right.
[t]http://s32.postimg.org/sx5pd2gyt/Untitled_1.png[/t]
The way that white thing in background perfectly goes around the figures head pops out harder than any other aspect of the picture, it really harms it a lot.
[QUOTE=Jallen;50250571]The way that white thing in background perfectly goes around the figures head pops out harder than any other aspect of the picture, it really harms it a lot.[/QUOTE]
That's a fair point, I can probably edit that out in Photoshop
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/PozXTqm.jpg[/IMG]
Don't know if anyone played Dragon Age: Inquisition, but decided to do a tarot card of my inquisitor.
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