Your worst joke(s). - General

What's pink and fluffy? [sp] Pink Fluff [/sp] What are fishermen most afraid of? [sp] Net Loss! [/sp]

Why did the squirrel swim on it's back? [sp]To keep it's nuts dry.[/sp]

[QUOTE=AteBitLord;18950226]Why did the squirrel swim on it's back? [sp]To keep it's nuts dry.[/sp][/QUOTE] haha

Polynomials. Now imagine a stick-thin parrot.

What makes Michael Jackson and a playstation the same? They are both plastic and turned on by children

I'm gay.

[QUOTE=kychu24;18142453]knock knock. whos there. No one you're scitzophrenic.[/QUOTE] Schitzophrenic* What do you call a man with no legs in the middle of the ocean? [sp]Whatever his first name is[/sp] Also, in this thread, being rated "dumb" is good

what do bears and elbows have in common? the both bend at the knee

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard? [sp]Neither did she[/sp] How do you punish Helen Keller? [sp]Leave the plunger in the toilet[/sp]

[QUOTE=FFStudios;19065598] How do you punish Helen Keller? [sp]Leave the plunger in the toilet[/sp][/QUOTE] That's only when she's a child, after she turns sixteen, you [sp]take the plunger out[/sp]

I have a secret entrance into the world of Narnia in my beard

So... This 3 legged dog tried to pee...

Women's rights.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, wanna ride bikes?

How many activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, activists can't change anything.

Yo mama's just like a trash can at a golf course: Big, smelly, and always full of Tiger's junk.

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? [sp] No! Why would I be a truck? [/sp]

What do u call a black man with internal bleeding A cherry ripe!

Q: Why did your mom cross the road? A: She didn't.

What's big and gray and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? [sp]A castle[/sp] Why are Toblerone's triangular? [sp]So they fit in the box[/sp] :buddy:

What do you call a cow with nothing to do? [sp]Borvine[/sp] That is the worst joke I had off hand.

What do women and tornadoes have in common? They moan like hell when the come, and take the house when they leave. :mad:

I got a big one coming, anyone know how long a post can be or should I just put it in a quote? [editline]09:00AM[/editline] Just wrote this. [quote][b]There were three race horses. Henny, Menny, and Penny. Henny, Menny, and Penny were all great friends. One day Henny, Menny, and Penny were racing. They were at the gate waiting for the gun. BOOM! They took off. Henny pulled quickly ahead of Menny yelling, "You better hurry!" Right as he said that he tripped and Penny trampled him on accident. Henny was sent to the ER and so was Penny for a broken hoof. Henny died that night. Penny remained in the hospital for 2 weeks. She never raced again. 2 years later Penny was sitting at her home. She heard the door. To her surprise it was Menny! She hadn't seen him since that faitful night... Quickly whiping that memory from her mind she asked why he was there. He said he wanted her to participate in the annual race for the worlds best. She immediately refused. He begged her for hours upon hours until she finally gave in. One month to the day on a Monday Penny showed up for the race. She was still unsure but Menny assured her nothing would go wrong. She was racing with 2 others. Benny and Lenny. BOOM! They took off. It started off normal, everything was going well. The first lap she took the lead. Second Benny almost took, but she pulled ahead at the last second. Lenny started to pull ahead on the last lap. Penny being ahead most of the race looked over her shoulder to see Lenny galloping close ahead. She tripped. Benny and Lenny trampled Penny. She blacked out. Penny woke up in the hospital an entire year later. Menny was waiting for her when she woke up. The doctor came in and said to Penny that she would never be able to race again because most of the bones in all of her legs had been shattered. She didn't fret because she never planned to again. Penny moved back into her house and was back to normal after about a year of physical therapy. For years she had tons of offers to do races, but she always refused. Some thought it was because of her last experience on the track. Others thought it was because her hoof still hurt. One day Penny thought to herself, against her best instincts, that she should do one last race. But against who? She definately did not want to be hurt again. She finally came to the conclusion, Menny. Of course, Menny! Her old friend! She hadn't talked to him for years. Of course he would love to give her one last race! She called him, and like she expected, he said he would love to be her "good bye" racer to say. They agreed to meet the next Tuesday at the old race track off of I-20. She trained the hardest she trained that entire week. She galloped day and night until her hooves were litteraly bleeding. Tuesday finally came. Penny was very happy for the race. Menny and Penny chatted and talked about the last few years while waiting for their turn. To Penny's surprise, Menny had gotten married and had to beautiful kids. Neither of them had raced for years. Ever since Menny had kids he hadn't really had the time. The two horses finally decided to stretch one last time and get on the track. They both agreed to not hold back. BOOM! They took off. Both friends were almost laughing for the first stretch. Mainly because it was great to be back on the track together after so many years. Then it got serious. Menny pulled ahead. Penny quickly caught up. Then the biggest shock Penny had ever witnessed happened. Menny's leg went out from underneath him in the last stretch and he cracked his neck. Penny rushed him to the emergency room as fast as she could. The doctors said he was definately in a coma but they were not sure for how long, they needed to study him longer. Menny's whole family was there. Most of his children were crying and his wife, Shenny, was the only one holding back tears. Probably trying to remain strong for her kids. Penny knew she needed to stay for Menny's sake, at least until the doctor gave news. It was another 3 weeks until they came to a conclusion. The doctor came in on that Thursday. He asked everyone to leave except for Shenny and Penny. He looked at them for a while and finally started to speak. The doctor said, "You're husband, Menny, will be in a coma that he may never return from." Penny said, "HOLY SHIT A TALKING HORSE!"[/b][/quote]

'Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' 'Mr Snufflebottom' 'Mr Snufflebottom who?' 'Well how many Mr Snufflebottoms do you know? Let me in it's cold outside!' Loosely stolen from the movie role models :smile:

Your Life.

[QUOTE=CanadianBill;18073753]why does Snoop Dogg wear an umbrella? [sp]Fo' Drizzle. [/sp] Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. [sp]Bum bum, pshh [/sp] Why did spy cross the road? [sp]Because he never really was on your side. [/sp] A man walks into a bar. [sp]Ouch. [/sp] One Tequila... [sp]Two Tequila... [/sp] [sp]Three Tequila... [/sp] [sp]Floor. [/sp] A chemist walks into a shop and says "I'd like some H2O please", the guy behind him hears this and says "I'd like some H2O too" [sp]The second man is dead. [/sp] Why did the boy draw a picture of a Snickers bar? [sp] Because he wanted a snickerdoodle. [/sp][/QUOTE] Hey cool, I made up that "Man walks into a bar" joke before! Although it's a pretty easy joke to think up. I also thought up the chemist joke.

sqrt(-1) (2^3) Σ (3.14) and it was good.

Whats red and invisible? [sp]No tomatoes[/sp]

I don't get how some of these are "worst jokes"

A man walked into a bar. [sp]Ouch.[/sp]