• Cooking with semen: A real cookbook
    312 replies, posted
Awesome. :q:
I can't believe it's not butter!
It's stuff like this that makes me miss the :w-hat: emote
DON'T READ THE COMMENTS :vomit:
[QUOTE=Ronnie] Cooking 'Oil' [ No Rating ] 20 Nov 2008 by Ronnie Fader I've been using semen in place of cooking oil for a number of years now, and it has been wonderful. On my 21st birthday, my parents sent a guy dressed as Big Bird to my apartment with a card and a balloon. That incident led to some VERY heavy drinking and a trip to the ER, where I learned that I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and a host of other medical issues. I did some online research and found some data on cooking with semen, and it seemed like it was worth a try. I have to admit, I had spent quite a bit of time thinking about eating semen previously, but never really got into it (other than a couple of quick 'glory-hole' incidents in college). Once I realized my life was on the line, my cum-guzzling era began. My cholesterol & blood pressure are down, my hair has become fuller - my life is good, and it's because of cum. I highly recommend this book to everyone. Cum-eating is certainly considered very much taboo in our society, but my hope is that books like this will lead to a day when we can ll go to a vending machine and buy a bag of cummi bears. I am proud to be a cum eater - I'm eating goo while I type this. I make my own cum jerky, cum mayonnaise and cum ice cream! These are not in this book, but they are delicious! I eat my own cum, my neighbor's cum and even my dog's cum. I must admit, my arm does get tired jacking us all off, but it helps to keep my biceps in shape. That's the other upside of semen consumption - the fun of getting it! Every time I get hungry, I jack off and blow a load into some tupperware. It feels good, and tastes GRRRRRRREAT. [/QUOTE] What the actual fuck
[url]http://forums.facepunchstudios.com/showthread.php?t=588095[/url] Cum Omelet video.
[QUOTE=Ryenoru]Every part of me wonders what the fuck humanity has come to.[/QUOTE] Not much really, we've just become more Roman.
[B]I.. CANNOT.. UNSEE.. IT..[/B]
Ok, I'm starting to feel sick now. It's not really funny anymore, just, ugh.
[QUOTE=Semen food]By the way, it has many other uses. I love it as an after shave - it soothes my skin and exfoliates at the same time. It leaves me with a clean, glazed-doughnut feeling all day long. It can also be used to grout between your bathroom tiles. I found that out by accident - I shot a load on the tile wall and didn't realize it for a whole week - hard as a rock by then. But no mold grows in that spot to this day! It's also great fun in the winter. Snow ball fights are a lot more interesting when every other one is a cum-ball! I also use my little swimmers at work. I post my notes to the wall with it's heavy-duty stickiness. Saves on our office supply expenses, so my boss loves it. There are so many uses to cum. I think this book is going to inspire me to write my own book: "Cum, It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore" and the follow-up: "Got Jiz?". And finally: "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: Who Cares, Let's All Eat Cum!" [/QUOTE] Haha, I feel sick.
[QUOTE=Neckbeard][img]http://www.cubeupload.com/files/333768wat.png[/img] Wat.[/QUOTE] [b]WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK[/b]
[QUOTE=Mexinugget03]Haha, I feel sick.[/QUOTE] "I make my own cum jerky, cum mayonnaise and cum ice cream! These are not in this book, but they are delicious! I eat my own cum, my neighbor's cum and [b]even my dog's cum.[/b] I must admit, my arm does get tired jacking us all off, but it helps to keep my biceps in shape." hhoyl fuck
So many are reading this. Reminds me of the cum omelet in the OIFY. :vomit:
Tasty protein! :science:
why is everyone acting so offended? it's ok for a woman to swollow yet when they bring out a cooking book everyone is like ewww.
Great, Every time I see any thing cream, creamed. I think of semen. Women these days.
[QUOTE=Mr. Someguy]Not to mention how long it would take to get as much as they are suggesting.[/QUOTE]Put it in the refrigerator and save up? Dear God, I'm gay and this freaks me out. Still... I can't help but wonder...
[QUOTE=Weeman89]why is everyone acting so offended? it's ok for a woman to swollow yet when they bring out a cooking book everyone is like ewww.[/QUOTE] Because that's a private act that belongs in a bedroom. This is pictures. Of semen. In food.
[quote]I make my own cum jerky, cum mayonnaise and cum ice cream! These are not in this book, but they are delicious! I eat my own cum, my neighbor's cum and even my dog's cum. I must admit, my arm does get tired jacking us all off, but it helps to keep my biceps in shape. That's the other upside of semen consumption - the fun of getting it! Every time I get hungry, I jack off and blow a load into some tupperware.[/quote] wat the hell.
I can't eat this new organic frosting I got because it's got this natural creamy look too it.
Finally! All of that semen I've been saving in jars can now be used for something other than throwing on door-to-door salesmen!
WHAT.
WHAT?
[quote]Semen is inexpensive to produce[/quote] Word has it, some people will give you it for free. You just have to suck it through a hose.
[b]Semen Ingredients:[/b] Frutose, sorbitol, inositol, glutathione, deoxyribonuclei acid, creatine, phosphrus, zinc, magnesium, calcium, potassium, ascorbic acid, vitamin B12, choline, testostrone, protaglandins, lactic acid, uric acid, nitrogen. [img]http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/29/the_more_you_know2.jpg[/img] I guess they are saying it's okay to jack off into food. So stop using tissues and use meat and hot dog buns.
[URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/6889/fulld1pg6.jpg[/IMG][/URL] [URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/1049/cinnamonbuns001798796jb4.jpg[/IMG][/URL] [URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/6259/00014383nk0.jpg[/IMG][/URL] :)
This has to be joke...
Joke or not, I'm sure the teenagers at mcdonalds make use of it all the time. They can probably save time by just using the burger for the job. That's why they are always fucked up and mangled when they get to you.
Fuck Cooking. Dip a cigarette in cum, let it dry, smoke it. Nothing like sitting around, smoking the souls of your unborn children
[QUOTE=hypno-toad][URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/6889/fulld1pg6.jpg[/IMG][/URL] [URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/1049/cinnamonbuns001798796jb4.jpg[/IMG][/URL] [URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/6259/00014383nk0.jpg[/IMG][/URL] :)[/QUOTE] NOOO, WHY DID YOU RUIN THEM FOR ME?!
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