Peeing like a ninja - General

Try to pee like a ninja with a morning wood

Pee in the sink instead. Just turn the water on so it sounds like you're washing your hands but you're really talking a leak.

Or you can piss in a sea of piss

[QUOTE=Hullu V3;18469626]Or you can piss in a sea of piss[/QUOTE] That's how pirates piss.

I was ready to get up to pee then I see this thread and think "hmm, I can hold it till I read this thread". I regret that thought.

[QUOTE=Dlaor;18469216]I always do this, because otherwise everything in a 5 meter radius around my dick would get covered in pee...[/QUOTE] You mean you're vagina.

[QUOTE=Hullu V3;18469546]Try to pee like a ninja with a morning wood[/QUOTE] I'm still trying to master that, it's so friggin' hard (pun)

Oh god I need to take a piss, brb

[QUOTE=-Matt-94;18469026]I am such a good ninja I don't have to pee. It just excretes out my skin pores like sweat.[/QUOTE] Ew.

[QUOTE=Im Crimson;18468968]Thread delivers! I already practice ninja-peeing myself, happy to hear I wasn't the only one to figure out the "zen-spot" idea.[/QUOTE] I figured this out a while back because I hate the sound of my piss stream meeting the water, but I never really connected it with being a ninja.

cool, lemme try that... BRB [editline]07:58PM[/editline] FUCK! i flushed... it might be a reflex, what i do?

[QUOTE=Lady Gaga;18471709]cool, lemme try that... BRB [editline]07:58PM[/editline] FUCK! i flushed... it might be a reflex, what i do?[/QUOTE] No worries, just keep practicing, young grasshopper ;)

[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;18471803]No worries, just keep practicing, young grasshopper ;)[/QUOTE] i ducked down also, thought that helped...

[img]http://www.breakthroughz.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/ninja-keys-lowres.jpg[/img] I didn't mention it, but it's pretty important to assume a proper position when taking a piss like a ninja. It's all about technique. The position that really helps you master this art pretty quick, is the following: Stand up closer to your toilet than usual, say, half an inch away from it. Then bend your knees -kinda like when you squat but not all the way-, at about 15°, so that your meat shuriken is actually closer to the toilet. Then, just when you're about to open your inner bladder faucet, hold it in for a sec and let it out nice and slow, making sure you don't hit the toilet water or make any sound when your pee hits the toilet surface. At that point, you want to make sure you've found the "zen" spot on your toilet, or else when you open the valve 100% you're just gonna hose down your toilet with your dick, creating a mini-tsunami in your toilet and it's not going to work. If you find the "zen" spot, little by little, stand up. By the time you're about to finish, repeat the process; Get closer to the toilet, making sure you always focus your weak stream to the "zen" spot, until you're done. For better results, try this in the middle of the night, when it's more quiet. That way you'll know how much noise you're making and it'll give you time to work on how to lessen it. Just remember, anything louder than a whisper isn't good. Let the pissing begin!

I've been doing this since forever. It can be challenging indeed to find the 'zen' spot.

Just attach a silencer to your penis.

[QUOTE=-Matt-94;18469026]I am such a good ninja I don't have to pee. It just excretes out my skin pores like sweat.[/QUOTE] That's why you smell like shit all the time.

[QUOTE=Larry_G;18472610]I've been doing this since forever. It can be challenging indeed to find the 'zen' spot.[/QUOTE] Oh yeah... it's pretty hard, specially with those curvy-shaped toilets they make nowadays... but once you get it, it's amazing how silently you can pee :D Just look at this one: [img]http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/72_20pee_20in_20my_20mouth.jpg[/img] The "zen" spot on that one looks easy...

Oh god I love facepunch.

haha, i did this when i was little not to wake anyone up.

Came in here expecting a tutorial how to pee in class into a bag or something. Thank god I was wrong.

Thanks for this. Whenever I piss at school I feel embarrased when my piss makes a sound while their piss is silent. [highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Making alt accounts to troll" - TH89))[/highlight]

I did this anyway. :v:

[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;18473212] [img]http://static.funnyjunk.com/pictures/72_20pee_20in_20my_20mouth.jpg[/img][/QUOTE] Pow! Right in the kisser.

If i had to use a stall, i'd just pee down the side like OP said. But because i hate making sounds in the bathroom in a public place because if you walk into a bathroom you don't want to hear a torrent of piss being unleashed as a guy in the stall is grunting loudly from eating that burrito while the guy using the urinals is emitting a loud sigh of relief.

I do this in public however the water in my toilet at home is too high to see the sides :saddowns:

Girls can do this too, actually! (I tried) :P

Must be hard for a ninja, peeing, with those ninja-suits and all...

I do my pisses loudly. I'll fail.

I used to do this, then I noticed that because my piss stream was hitting the side of the bowl it was fucking spraying tiny piss molecules everywhere.