Ejaculation Etiquette - Because there are do's and don'ts!
232 replies, posted
its not time *cums in down her throught and gives her diarrhea*
I want a throught!
So now I feel like a gentleman whenever I ask to shoot it in her face.
i have ascended because of this article
[QUOTE=Rediscover;29914053]she missed her period by 5 days, which stressed me out to no end, but in the end, she wasnt pregnant.
i shit enough bricks to build a fucking castle[/QUOTE]
That's nothing...
My girlfriend [b]did[/b] get pregnant, when I was [b]14[/b]. I made a thread about it but it's probably archived as I'm 19 now :v: I had to skip school for appointments and shit. Should I post more info?
[editline]19th May 2011[/editline]
I'm making a thread, there's too much text.
[editline]19th May 2011[/editline]
Keep an eye out!
One Time I blew my load all over my ex during foreplay. We were in missionary, playing around with our bits when I suddenly realized that I was about to shoot. Pretty much spilled everything on her stomach, luckily she didn't mind. But I'm not into cumshots, so I didn't take advantage of knowing she might actually put up with this. Fuck, my cock is like a goddamn garden hose out of control, franticly ejaculating everywhere while all I can do is say 'sorry, this [B]has[/B] for a fact happened to me before'. Post-Sex cleaning up is a bitch with tissues and condoms all over. One night I woke up with one stuck to my thight.
Brings a whole new mening to the 'dirty' side of sex
[QUOTE=H4ngman;29927888]Fuck, my cock is like a goddamn garden hose out of control, franticly ejaculating everywhere while all I can do is say 'sorry, this [B]has[/B] for a fact happened to me before'. Post-Sex cleaning up is a bitch with tissues and condoms all over. One night I woke up with one stuck to my thight.
Brings a whole new mening to the 'dirty' side of sex[/QUOTE]
Same here, bro... it's a curse! :/
I have to fap until I'm dry a day before I go meet my boyfriend or else I shoot from one end of the blanket to the other. All I can recommend here is: don't get it in the belly button.
[QUOTE]A simple, “It’s time,” would do, or you could agree on a subtler signal that you’re about to erupt.[/QUOTE]
[i]Blowout soon, fellow Stalker.[/i]
[QUOTE=Cypher_09;29926273]That's nothing...
My girlfriend [b]did[/b] get pregnant, when I was [b]14[/b]. I made a thread about it but it's probably archived as I'm 19 now :v: I had to skip school for appointments and shit. Should I post more info?
[editline]19th May 2011[/editline]
I'm making a thread, there's too much text.
[editline]19th May 2011[/editline]
Keep an eye out![/QUOTE]
Finally posted it. :smile:
[QUOTE=Dr.C;29922553]What about jizzing in the rectum? He can easily fart/shit it out
I mean she
[editline]18th May 2011[/editline]
I am not gay[/QUOTE]
I'm loving your progressive posts.
I dont know why but my dick jizzes in two directions, at like a 45 degree angle from straight either side, fucking annoying I am like some sort of jizz dispensing garden sprinkler.
[QUOTE=ThePunisher1;29930483]I dont know why but my dick jizzes in two directions, at like a 45 degree angle from straight either side, fucking annoying I am like some sort of jizz dispensing garden sprinkler.[/QUOTE]
You're going to die
[QUOTE=ThePunisher1;29930483]I dont know why but my dick jizzes in two directions, at like a 45 degree angle from straight either side, fucking annoying I am like some sort of jizz dispensing garden sprinkler.[/QUOTE]
ask a bro to do the exact thing on the other side and make a square
GEOMETRY
[QUOTE=01271;29928783]I have to fap until I'm dry a day before I go meet my boyfriend or else I shoot from one end of the blanket to the other. All I can recommend here is: don't get it in the belly button.[/QUOTE]
yeah it's hard to lick it out of ther- end post
[quote]On her face
Coming on her face is a tricky issue. Some women really get off on the idea, but plenty of others think it’s disgusting, and some even find it degrading. So it’s essential that you get her permission before you shoot anywhere near or on her face.
[b]Etiquette reminder: Do not get any in her eyes. Avoid her hair as well, if possible.[/b][/quote]
Heres a Ejaculation Etiquette lesson from Sir D.J Assault,
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH1q5f8l8AA[/media]
As you can tell he is clearly experienced in this and actually has a diploma in Major Ejaculation.
[QUOTE=wewt!;29929345][img_thumb]http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/6308/1253342933371.jpg[/img_thumb]
[h2]IT'S TIME[/h2][/QUOTE]
My friends girlfriend is a Stalker fan.
He totally should do that! I have to tell him about it :v:
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v367/publiusdiamond/Portraits/hikids-1.jpg[/IMG]
I guess it was time
I would like some of the FP [I]dudettes[/I] to post their opinion on the matter.
Shoupie...? ConvolutedLogic...?
[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;29937624]I would like some of the FP [I]dudettes[/I] to post their opinion on the matter.
Shoupie...? ConvolutedLogic...?[/QUOTE]
I agree with pretty much everything except for saying "It's time" unless it's for comical value. But I don't know how safe it is to start laughing while performing fallatio. "I'm getting close" is a lot better.
I haven't seen ConvolutedLogic anywhere lately. :smith:
[QUOTE=FinalHunter;29937945]Lucky bastard.
I'm banging my girlfriend and then 30 seconds later... [B]IT'S TIME[/B][/QUOTE]
You should think about something non-sexual while you're at it... Protip: While thinking about it, [B]keep that thought+slow down a little for maximum effect![/B] That technique serves me pretty well :v:
[editline]19th May 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Shoupie;29938539]I agree with pretty much everything except for saying "It's time" unless it's for comical value. But I don't know how safe it is to start laughing while performing fallatio. "I'm getting close" is a lot better.
I haven't seen ConvolutedLogic anywhere lately. :smith:[/QUOTE]
We know it's mostly a matter of common sense, but how do you prefer men, more polite, or rude, when it comes to coming? :v:
[quote][I]*Bangbangbangbang*[/I]
Man-"Oh excuse me my darling, it's time... may I ejaculate inside your vagina?"
Woman-"You certainly may, my good sir!"
[I]*Blows load*[/I][/quote]
Or
[quote][I]*Bangbangbangbang*[/I]
Man-"HHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG--"
[I]*Blows load*[/I]
Woman-God dammit, Larry!! Why can't you give me a heads-up?!"[/quote]
[QUOTE=MoonManV1;29938785][img]http://gyazo.com/2b3a664d80a8b09da43efb327a1781c5.png[/QUOTE]
You accidentally the link
[QUOTE=Blue Meanie;29924426]its not time *cums in down her throught and gives her diarrhea*[/QUOTE]
What the fuck?
[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;29938794]You accidentally the link[/QUOTE]
Fixed
Better yet, say "it's time" after you've already jizzed a massive load
[QUOTE=Pretiacruento;29938568]We know it's mostly a matter of common sense, but how do you prefer men, more polite, or rude, when it comes to coming? :v:[/QUOTE]
More polite, definitely. That makes the woman feel a lot more at ease and comfortable, and she's a lot likelier to enjoy the experience if she knows she's not obligated to do anything, like swallow, if she doesn't want to. She'll probably swallow if she knows the guy isn't necessarily expecting her to. I don't want to sound cheesy, but whenever sex is involved, it's really important to know what's okay and what isn't with your partner before you actually commit to doing something. Making your girlfriend feel violated or degraded is the last thing you want to do, and if you're a decent guy, it'll make you feel shitty, too.
That being said, I know some girls that like it dirty, so really, it's not so much a matter of common sense. I know a girl that actually can't get off unless the sex is dirty. Some women just don't like having considerate partners during sex. That's why it's such a good idea to establish boundaries [i]before[/i] having sex.
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