How my best friend actually got raped and wasn't just saying it for attention
386 replies, posted
[QUOTE=CrumbleShake;30123486]Hmm... I dunno. Sounds kind of implausible how OP didn't do shit about it for ages.
There are a lot of bullshit threads like this on Facepunch so I'm gonna be cynical about this.[/QUOTE]
[release][b]Why don't more people report their rape?[/b]
The most common reason given by victims (23%) is that the rape is a "personal matter." Another 16% of victims say that they fear reprisal, while about 6% don't report because they believe that the police are biased.
[b]I'm afraid that if I report, I will regret it.[/b]
That's certainly possible. It's true that some people have a bad experience and wish they had never reported. But it is also the case that many people who don't report later regret that decision. In the end, this is a personal decision that only you can make.
[b]I'm afraid the police won't take it seriously.[/b]
There has been great investment in police training in recent years. While there are occasional exceptions, most law enforcement officers are understanding and on your side. Many police departments participate in what are known as SARTs (Sexual Assault Response Teams), which provide a victim-sensitive, coordinated response to sexual assault that incorporates medical personnel, law enforcement and a crisis center representative to organize questioning, reduce repetition and facilitate communication among all the agencies involved.
If you do encounter someone who isn't taking your case seriously, it's important to complain to his/her supervisor. You should also tell your local rape crisis center, which has people trained to advocate on your behalf.
[b]I'm afraid of getting in trouble.[/b]
Sometimes victims, particularly youth, are afraid of getting in trouble for doing something they weren't supposed to be doing when the assault took place, such as drinking or sneaking out. While there’s a possibility that you can get in trouble, most authorities (and parents) will be understanding, particularly about minor infractions.
[b]Do I have to go through the police interview alone?[/b]
In most areas, a trained volunteer from your local rape crisis center can accompany you to the police interview. The volunteer can also answer your questions about the process and explain how it will work. To reach your local crisis center, call 1.800.656.HOPE (4673).
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/Eo6aH.png[/IMG]
[/release]
Hopefully you can see that there are a massive amount of reasons as to why so many people choose not to report their rape.
i am a horrible human being
[QUOTE=Gaza Pen Pal;30123745][release][b]Why don't more people report their rape?[/b]
The most common reason given by victims (23%) is that the rape is a "personal matter." Another 16% of victims say that they fear reprisal, while about 6% don't report because they believe that the police are biased.
[b]I'm afraid that if I report, I will regret it.[/b]
That's certainly possible. It's true that some people have a bad experience and wish they had never reported. But it is also the case that many people who don't report later regret that decision. In the end, this is a personal decision that only you can make.
[b]I'm afraid the police won't take it seriously.[/b]
There has been great investment in police training in recent years. While there are occasional exceptions, most law enforcement officers are understanding and on your side. Many police departments participate in what are known as SARTs (Sexual Assault Response Teams), which provide a victim-sensitive, coordinated response to sexual assault that incorporates medical personnel, law enforcement and a crisis center representative to organize questioning, reduce repetition and facilitate communication among all the agencies involved.
If you do encounter someone who isn't taking your case seriously, it's important to complain to his/her supervisor. You should also tell your local rape crisis center, which has people trained to advocate on your behalf.
[b]I'm afraid of getting in trouble.[/b]
Sometimes victims, particularly youth, are afraid of getting in trouble for doing something they weren't supposed to be doing when the assault took place, such as drinking or sneaking out. While there’s a possibility that you can get in trouble, most authorities (and parents) will be understanding, particularly about minor infractions.
[b]Do I have to go through the police interview alone?[/b]
In most areas, a trained volunteer from your local rape crisis center can accompany you to the police interview. The volunteer can also answer your questions about the process and explain how it will work. To reach your local crisis center, call 1.800.656.HOPE (4673).
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/Eo6aH.png[/IMG]
[/release]
Hopefully you can see that there are a massive amount of reasons as to why so many people choose not to report their rape.[/QUOTE]
Great, now this guy will get scared and NOT report it...
[QUOTE=SomTervo;30120647]fuck you, what does being a pussy have to do with being gay[/QUOTE]
Fuck you, what does being a woman have to do with being a coward?
[QUOTE=wewt!;30120785]Why is it that every rape story has the big dilemma of ''I can't notify the police!'', it's so frustrating. The solution to all of your current problems is right there at the police office, just go down there [I]personally with her[/I] (they never take phone calls like that seriously) and explain to them what's happening face to face.[/QUOTE]
It's because, as multiple people have previously mentioned, it is a huge ordeal for a woman who has been raped to go through. They are treated like shit by police officers, their name is dragged through the mud as they are presumed guilty until proven innocent, their sexual history becomes a matter of public knowledge, the matter rarely goes to trial, and when it does, a conviction is almost never secured. Also, they usually to go through a rape kit, which is often quite traumatic and becomes, in the victim's mind, another violation of their body. And that's just for starters.
However, in this case - agreed. Because women are accused of lying about rape far more often than it actually happens, I would hesitate to call bullshit. OP, if this is seriously happening, get to a police station ASAP. I understand that women are rightfully reluctant to do so for a lot of reasons, but in this case, nothing could be worse than having this continue. It's worth going through all of this if it will stop.
[QUOTE=WillerinV1.02;30118485]I'm not sure how it is in other parts of the world, but over here teenage girls claiming they've been raped to get sympathy is increasingly common.[/QUOTE]
are you actually going to provide a citation for this
[QUOTE=Lazor;30124109]are you actually going to provide a citation for this[/QUOTE]
Seconded. People thinking false rape claims occur often is far more common than, you know, the actual false rape claims.
[QUOTE=voider;30117958]alert the police[/QUOTE]
Do this.
Also, I think the whole "what parents think" is stupid. Now the rapists think that she actually likes them because its the norm and she won't tell anybody.
Fuck those rapists, murderers fucktards piece of shit. Those fucking men think they can choose the destiny of someone because their minds think they are over them but no, they are the same worthless shit as us. Those men, some day, will make innocent people with FULL FUCKING RIGHTS that NO ONE CAN FUCKING TOUCH THEIR FUCKING RIGHTS get mad as fuck, for example, me. Those innocent people should stand the fuck up over those dumbfucktards right fucking now and give them back what they fucking do, tell people what to do with their lives. Some day they will fucking stand up.
Shoot all 6 mother fuckers in the dick. They honestly deserve to lose it. They're not using it right.
Well I think we all learned a valuable lesson in this thread:
It's easy to commit rape and get away with it.
There are cheap pellet pistol that will hurt like fuck if you shoot someone with it. It's designed for pest control but with some hollowpoint 4.5mm pellets it'll do some serious tissue damage. Plus the barrel size and lack of an orange tip make it appear to be a real 9x19mm handgun.
[url]http://www.crosman.com/airguns/pistols/1088BG[/url]
[img]http://www.crosman.com/img/products/full/1088bg-1.jpg[/img]
Not sure how carry permit laws are where you live, but do school her on how to use it and take her for some target practice and she might feel a bit safer. It uses compressed 12 gram Co2 canisters with 8-round cylindrical pellet/bb clips. Use copper BBs for practice since they're inexpensive and use the hollowpoint pellets for self defense. My mom and I do some target practice with it since the police around here are nutjobs about concealed handguns so the pellet gun gets past their regulations pretty slick if you ask me. If the pistol seems too large for her hand frame (if she has small hands) then you could try this pistol, which is essentially the same thing except it's designed to look like a Glock. The barrel size may not fool them though.
[url]http://www.crosman.com/airguns/pistols/T4CS[/url]
[img]http://www.crosman.com/img/products/full/t4cs-2.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=DainBramageStudios;30118494]if you actually checked the flag under his post you'd see he lives on the other side of the world, mister internet tough guy.
OP, calling the police will be difficult in the short term but the long term benefits will outweigh them. You and your girlfriend need to be brave right now. The scars should be proof enough to get him arrested at least.[/QUOTE]
And just where might this flag be, miss derp?
Oh wait never mind. You win this time
[QUOTE=WillerinV1.02;30118485]I'm not sure how it is in other parts of the world, but over here teenage girls claiming they've been raped to get sympathy is increasingly common.[/QUOTE]
The fact that you can be friends with someone who has been raped repeatedly and still believe this shows to me that you're the last thing she needs in her life right now.
People like you piss me the fuck off
OP pisses me off due to being unwilling to do ANYTHING to help. Some friend you are, dude.
[QUOTE=WillerinV1.02;30118782]Nah, when the time comes I'll man up and do it myself.[/QUOTE]
[del]Let me remind you that, from my knowledge, failure to report a crime in the United States is a misdemeanor of the fourth degree and can net you both a possible fine of up to $250 and a short stay in prison depending on your state.
I honestly do hope you actually go to a police station with your girlfriend instead of just saying that to keep us away from nagging you.[/del] Wait I just realized you're not from America let me fix my post.
Failure to report a felony is considered as Misprision of Felony, this is usually classified as a misdemeanor. Certain countries do not have this and I am unsure whether or not New Zealand is affected.
But if you're that much of a man you will do the right thing instead of going "lol it's ok guys I've got it".
[QUOTE=DaBigManZM;30126303]There are cheap pellet pistol that will hurt like fuck if you shoot someone with it. It's designed for pest control but with some hollowpoint 4.5mm pellets it'll do some serious tissue damage. Plus the barrel size and lack of an orange tip make it appear to be a real 9x19mm handgun.
[url]http://www.crosman.com/airguns/pistols/1088BG[/url]
Not sure how carry permit laws are where you live, but do school her on how to use it and take her for some target practice and she might feel a bit safer. It uses compressed 12 gram Co2 canisters with 8-round cylindrical pellet/bb clips. Use copper BBs for practice since they're inexpensive and use the hollowpoint pellets for self defense. My mom and I do some target practice with it since the police around here are nutjobs about concealed handguns so the pellet gun gets past their regulations pretty slick if you ask me. If the pistol seems too large for her hand frame (if she has small hands) then you could try this pistol, which is essentially the same thing except it's designed to look like a Glock. The barrel size may not fool them though.
[url]http://www.crosman.com/airguns/pistols/T4CS[/url][/QUOTE]
If you EVER draw a fucking weapon it better be 9mm or higher. Don't give him REALLY stupid advice. That's how idiot kids get shot.
Anyways, OP, she's most likely going to explain herself in extreme detail in many ways. She needs to be ready for it. It's going to suck.. also, if she is barely avoiding rape every day.. and know it's going to happen again (as bad as this sounds) waiting til it happened again then going STRAIGHT to the police might be a better idea.. Of course that plan isn't as thought out as going straight to the police but I also would want this guy convicted you know?
[QUOTE=JeffAndersen;30128340]If you EVER draw a fucking weapon it better be 9mm or higher. Don't give him REALLY stupid advice. That's how idiot kids get shot.
Anyways, OP, she's most likely going to explain herself in extreme detail in many ways. She needs to be ready for it. It's going to suck.. also, if she is barely avoiding rape every day.. [b]and know it's going to happen again (as bad as this sounds) waiting til it happened again then going STRAIGHT to the police might be a better idea.. Of course that plan isn't as thought out as going straight to the police but I also would want this guy convicted you know?[/b][/QUOTE]
Are you that stupid? The OP should have gone to the police [b]the second[/b] he said he was going to go first thing in the morning. All he is doing right now is just painfully delaying this process while the possibility of his girlfriend getting raped, and possibly killed, happens again.
Oh my gosh. That is sick. Only 15 too...
People who abuse others like that are the kind that need to be put away for years. I hope that rapist and his friends get tried as adults and are put away for a long time.
This seems like one of those situations. People joke about rape, retarded people, cutters, drug addicts, pregnant teens, bulimic but it ALL changes when you know somebody like that. I used to make fun of all those kinds of people until eventually friends started coming out to me about their problems. Never made fun of them again. Its all too serious.
Help her, you god dam scumbag and call the fucking police!
Here's a thing which says false rape reports are made at about the same rate as false reports of other common crimes:
[release][b]FBI reports consistently put the number of "unfounded" rape accusations around 8%. The average rate of unfounded reports for Index crimes is 2%.[7] However, “unfounded” is not synonymous with false allegation[8][/b] and as Bruce Gross of the Forensic Examiner explains,
[b]This statistic is almost meaningless, as many of the jurisdictions from which the FBI collects data on crime use different definitions of, or criteria for, "unfounded." That is, a report of rape might be classified as unfounded (rather than as forcible rape) if the alleged victim did not try to fight off the suspect, if the alleged perpetrator did not use physical force or a weapon of some sort, if the alleged victim did not sustain any physical injuries, or if the alleged victim and the accused had a prior sexual relationship.[/b] Similarly, a report might be deemed unfounded if there is no physical evidence or too many inconsistencies between the accuser's statement and what evidence does exist. As such, although some unfounded cases of rape may be false or fabricated, [b]not all unfounded cases are false.[/b][9]
The largest and most rigorous study was commissioned by the [b]British Home Office and based on 2,643 sexual assault cases (Kelly, Lovett, and Regan, 2005). Of these, 8% were classified by the police department as false reports. [u]Yet the researchers noted that some of these classifications were based simply on the personal judgments of the police investigators and were made in violation of official criteria for establishing a false allegation.[/u][/b] Closer analysis of this category applying the Home Office counting rules for establishing a false allegation and excluding cases where the application of the cases where confirmation of the designation was uncertain [b]reduced the percentage of false reports to 3%. The researchers concluded that "one cannot take all police designations at face value" and that "[t]here is an over-estimation of the scale of false allegations by both police officers and prosecutors."[/b] Moreover, they added:
The interviews with police officers and complainants’ responses show that despite the focus on victim care, [b]a culture of suspicion remains within the police, even amongst some of those who are specialists in rape investigations.[/b] There is also a tendency to conflate false allegations with retractions and withdrawals, as if in all such cases no sexual assault occurred. This reproduces an investigative culture in which elements that might permit a designation of a false complaint are emphasised (later sections reveal how this also feeds into withdrawals and designation of ‘insufficient evidence’), at the expense of a careful investigation, in which the evidence collected is evaluated.[10][11]
Another large-scale study was conducted in Australia, [b]with the 850 rapes reported to the Victoria police between 2000 and 2003 (Heenan & Murray, 2006). Using both quantitative and qualitative methods, the researchers examined 812 cases with sufficient information to make an appropriate determination, and found that 2.1% of these were classified by police as false reports.[/b] All of these complainants were then charged or threatened with charges for filing a false police report.[12]
Authors A.W. Burgess and R.R. Hazelwood observe that "little is published which addresses the issue and concept of false allegation." The classification of "false reporting" makes no distinction between women who wilfully misreport and women who mistakenly identify innocent men.[13] [b]Figures on false reporting used by journalists have ranged from 2% to 50% depending on their sources:
"... one explanation for such a wide range in the statistics might simply be that they come from different studies of different populations... But there's also a strong political tilt to the debate. A low number would undercut a belief about rape as being as old as the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife: that some women, out of shame or vengeance ... claim that their consensual encounters or rebuffed advances were rapes. If the number is high, on the other hand, advocates for women who have been raped worry it may also taint the credibility of the genuine victims of sexual assault."[14][/b]
In her work, "The Legacy of the Prompt Complaint Requirement, Corroboration Requirement, and Cautionary Instructions on Campus Sexual Assault", Michelle J. Anderson of the Villanova University School of Law states: "As a scientific matter, the frequency of false rape complaints to police or other legal authorities remains unknown.".[15]
In 1994, Dr. Eugene J. Kanin of Purdue University investigated the incidences, in one small unidentified urban community, of false rape allegations made to the police between 1978 and 1987. Dr. Kanin asserts that "unlike those in many larger jurisdictions, this police department had the resources to "seriously record and pursue to closure all rape complaints, regardless of their merits". He further states each investigation "always involves a serious offer to polygraph the complainants and the suspects." and "the complainant must admit that no rape had occurred. She is the sole agent who can say that the rape charge is false." The falseness of the allegations was not decided by the police, Dr. Kanin, nor upon physical or testimonial evidence. The number of false rape allegations concluded in the studied period was 45; this was 41% of the 109 total complaints filed in this period.
Criticism of Dr. Kanin's report include Dr. David Lisak, an associate professor of psychology and director of the Men’s Sexual Trauma Research Project at the University of Massachusetts, Boston. In the September/October 2007 issue of the Sexual Assault Report he states “Kanin’s 1994 article on false allegations is a provocative opinion piece, but it is not a scientific study of the issue of false reporting of rape. It certainly should never be used to assert a scientific foundation for the frequency of false allegations.” He further states “[Dr. Kanin] simply reiterates the opinions of the police officers who concluded that the cases in question were ‘false allegations.’” Lisak cites page 13 of Investigating Sexual Assaults from the International Association of Chiefs of Police which says polygraph tests for sexual assault victims are contradicted in the investigation process and that their use is “based on the misperception that a significant percentage of sexual assault reports are false...It is noteworthy that the police department from which Kanin derived his data used or threatened to use the polygraph in every case...The fact that it was the standard procedure of this department provides a window on the biases of the officers who conducted the rape investigations, biases that were then echoed in Kanin’s unchallenged reporting of their findings.” [b]Lisak later performed his own study, published in 2010 in Violence Against Women, which found a false allegation rate of 5.9%.[/b][/release]
You shouldn't think "that sucks, [i][b]if[/b] they're actually telling the truth[/i]" because statistically there is a massive chance that they are telling the truth.
I really don't get how you can for one year, getting gang-banged, and not try to get help. I mean I know you said she's scared, etc, but seriously?
[QUOTE=Cruma;30128942]I really don't get how you can for one year, getting gang-banged, and not try to get help. I mean I know you said she's scared, etc, but seriously?[/QUOTE]
You have to be autistic to not understand how incredibly scary that is.
And if you are autistic go look at the statistics located at RAINN.org
For some reason it pisses me off to no end when rape victims refuse to get help. If she doesn't want to get help, then you need to get help for her. You need to start acting like a man and report this, and if those scumbags try to come at her you should defend her, not simply tell her how to avoid them.
Do the fucking right thing.
[QUOTE=Gaza Pen Pal;30129100]You have to be autistic to not understand how incredibly scary that is.
And if you are autistic go look at the statistics located at RAINN.org[/QUOTE]
I don't know, I guess I'm autistic. My logic in that sort of situation would be more scared of being gang-raped again as opposed to telling somebody about it and having them intervene.
ffs my name is aidan and i know so many beccas. But i didn't rape nobody.
15 year old gang raped for a long time? Thats fucked up.
This reminds me of that one Dexter season.
You should kill them.
[QUOTE=Cruma;30129312]I don't know, I guess I'm autistic. My logic in that sort of situation would be more scared of being gang-raped again as opposed to telling somebody about it and having them intervene.[/QUOTE]
Someone she knew raped her, when that persons friends found out they started raping her too. She might have assumed if she told someone else they would too since she already knows 6 people who are willing to commit an incredibly terrible crime.
She might be afraid of being slut shamed or something along those lines if people find out.
She might think the police won't do anything, she was obviously too shocked to leave his cum in her cunt to get DNA evidence, she probably thinks without cum he won't get locked up.
And if he doesn't get locked up he might kill her, what if he does get locked up but one of his friends doesn't?
Maybe she has awful parents who would punish her for whatever dumb reason.
And of course when people are shocked by an event like this they just lock up, withdraw from other people and try to forget. Not everyone is brave enough to tell the police.
I wish I could do shit about this, but 14 year olds can only do so much...
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