For the Record: I missed out on life (and gained nothing as a teen) - General

just goes to show how messed up our social system is, but oh well... I wish you all good luck in the future and for the record i must agree 20 and still living with your parents, really isn't that bad, hell if that's what it takes to get a stable income and a job, then why is it bad?

[QUOTE=MIPS;28830155] 2: I tried working out. I gained ten pounds and gave up because I doubt I'll be showing anything off. 3: I'm sorry but I do not buy the "You're special" line anymore. It's nothing more than self-esteem bullshit.[/QUOTE] You are partially correct on point two because the diet you have is probably bringing you down. I don't know if this is a option for you but if you have enough money try and eat a bit healthier and try weightlifting. For me and for a lot of others it really increased self confidence. Point 3 is entirely is entirely correct we are all flawed in our own ways and we'll have to pass by it one way or another.

[QUOTE=Otsegolation;28853344]Eh, I thought of joining the military when I was a kid once, but I'd rather not fight someone else's war. They set you up to fight, and they reap the profits. And it's not like they care that much about you, so you wear no body armor.[/QUOTE]All US troops are given body armour of at least level III iirc, as are most Western troops. Think of it this way, it's cheaper to buy body armour for a soldier than it is to train a new one after one dies.

Persevere and take chances.

[QUOTE=MIPS;28853477]This "deal with it" talk is not helping at all. I dealt with being bullied for about fifteen years of my life and it has nearly driven me insane. It's painful enough to suffer a mental breakdown in front of my own boss, then try to man it up and answer the phone with a straight voice. I don't want to sell my computers. They are literally all I have. There are also no vintage computer groups in northwestern north america. You have to hit San Diego or Ottawa before you find anything and even then it's all mid-lifers. Kids these days don't care about shit like this ebcause it can't run crysis. I also still see suicide as a neutral event so long as you have set aside several thousand dollars in funds to cover your own funeral before hand. In my case it's not like I'll be paying for a large funeral, six people at most, that includes my parents and family who are still alive.[/QUOTE] hey man, there are other options here. infact we are giving them to you, get on anti-depressant meds, do things you like, etc etc but you have no right to complain when you're not going to try any of those methods, the only person you're hurting is yourself without trying

[QUOTE=MIPS;28853477]This "deal with it" talk is not helping at all. I dealt with being bullied for about fifteen years of my life and it has nearly driven me insane. It's painful enough to suffer a mental breakdown in front of my own boss, then try to man it up and answer the phone with a straight voice. I don't want to sell my computers. They are literally all I have. There are also no vintage computer groups in northwestern north america. You have to hit San Diego or Ottawa before you find anything and even then it's all mid-lifers. Kids these days don't care about shit like this ebcause it can't run crysis. I also still see suicide as a neutral event so long as you have set aside several thousand dollars in funds to cover your own funeral before hand. In my case it's not like I'll be paying for a large funeral, six people at most, that includes my parents and family who are still alive.[/QUOTE] Don't suicide, It's not worth it, It's giving up, It's not even trying. You've been working with SGI things for years, Systems build for graphics, You have surely been using it for that, Don't you think you could use your experience from there. Yes, you're used older tools but animation is universal, learn the new UI's and start a career. I know that you can do this and I know that suicide is not the right path, it would be a terrible waste of talent and knowledge.

Late to the party I guess :v: Anyways, you're thinking too hard. "The idle mind is the devil's workshop" Rather than trying to have a regular life, how about you zing your current one, be a hipster. [editline]28th March 2011[/editline] Try get a new hobby. Go out to a park and watch and feed birds/ducks. [editline]28th March 2011[/editline] If it makes you feel better, I have ADHD and screwed up horribly in life in Year 7 to 8, really, horribly. Fs everywhere and class nerd. I have even contemplated suicide several times just looking back it. Then somewhere along Year 9, I decided to change, became fitter, studied and became better at socializing. Now I'm a happy go lucky 17 year old with big ambitions.

[QUOTE=Roo-kie;28853559]why not radically change your life/lifestyle? sell your shit bail overseas[/QUOTE] realize you can't get a job have no money to get back home live on the street in a foreign country

Millions of Instructions per Second, No matter how tight of a jam you seem to be, a bit of effort and some time can go a long way in improving your situation. You can also take your perceived "disadvantages" and put them to work. My case study here will be the late Andre the Giant ([i]1946 - 1993[/i]) - He was born with a condition that made him fucking huge compared to most people, and was practically disgraced in his hometown. He swore that he was going to someday return there in a limo, and he did - But to get to that point, he had to put his perceived "defects" to work and eventually become one of the most successful wrestlers of his time*. No good thing comes without effort, as Andre showed - and some of us have more obstacles to overcome than others, but if we try we all can do it. Besides, people who are worse off than you have succeeded - Statistically, you probably will too! If you need it, here's a second case study - Myself! I was raised under similar circumstances as you (having to move, the OCD/ADD/Autism Scare, Autistic retrocomputing/computing nerd, so on) and with a bit of elbow grease I've managed to gain friends and become more popular, without having to give up my personality - I'll admit, the occasional emotional detachment towards others makes it a bit of a pain at times, but in the end it's been entirely worth it. [b]TL;DR: It's never too late to turn things around if you try, and no good things come without effort.[/b] *Even though it's been more than a decade since he's passed on, he still remains a famous figure - He still has a pretty damn large fanbase, and he's also seen postmortem fame as a result of the artwork of a fellow named [i]Shephard Fairey[/i].

[QUOTE=Mr. Massacre;28859704]Millions of Instructions per Second, No matter how tight of a jam you seem to be, a bit of effort and some time can go a long way in improving your situation. You can also take your perceived "disadvantages" and put them to work. My case study here will be the late Andre the Giant ([i]1946 - 1993[/i]) - He was born with a condition that made him fucking huge compared to most people, and was practically disgraced in his hometown. He swore that he was going to someday return there in a limo, and he did - But to get to that point, he had to put his perceived "defects" to work and eventually become one of the most successful wrestlers of his time*. No good thing comes without effort, as Andre showed - and some of us have more obstacles to overcome than others, but if we try we all can do it. Besides, people who are worse off than you have succeeded - Statistically, you probably will too! If you need it, here's a second case study - Myself! I was raised under similar circumstances as you (having to move, the OCD/ADD/Autism Scare, Autistic retrocomputing/computing nerd, so on) and with a bit of elbow grease I've managed to gain friends and become more popular, without having to give up my personality - I'll admit, the occasional emotional detachment towards others makes it a bit of a pain at times, but in the end it's been entirely worth it. [b]TL;DR: It's never too late to turn things around if you try, and no good things come without effort.[/b] *Even though it's been more than a decade since he's passed on, he still remains a famous figure - He still has a pretty damn large fanbase, and he's also seen postmortem fame as a result of the artwork of a fellow named [i]Shephard Fairey[/i].[/QUOTE] he died because no matter how big the rest of his body got, his heart stayed the same and got over worked, he died peacefully in the middle of the night when it just stopped

Yeah, which is unfortunate as he was badass as hell. still, even if said abnormality got him in the end, in life he still took control and made something great out of it, which is more what i'm trying to get at here - Flaws are only flaws if you let them be.

[QUOTE=Oicani Gonzales;28859877]france actually gives money to hobos[/QUOTE] Losing it all bailing to a foreign country without a sufficient plan [b]would[/b] be the fucking coolest way to hit rock bottom though Worth it for the adventure alone

I'm going to bluntly state my opinion here: The OP has alot of problems, which cause him to have bouts of depression. When he gets like this, he's depressed! (herp) Sad as can be, and doesn't want to listen to anything. He made this thread to recap his life while he was sad, and he made it for attention and pity - to get everyone on facepunch to notice him and his problems ( which are exaggerated because he's depressed. ) My point here being that he is not going to listen to anyone. He made this thread for attention and pity - he won't listen to a goddamn suggestion anyone will give him. Logic nor reason will get through to him, because thats not what he made the thread for.

You're depressed because we're not supposed to live the way that the system forces you to. It's just not a rewarding lifestyle. We're meant for more of the hunter/gatherer work, where you provide for your tribe and doing so has quick results and rewards. Suck a dick if you think you're supposed to work most of your life. You'd be better off dead than working all your life, because then we wouldn't have people like you to fuel this system where we slave away our years. We'd all be better off and would work a lot less/be better off.

[QUOTE=GunFox;28830299]Actually quite the contrary. I won't have anything to do with the military personally because I can't trust any major federal government enough use my skills for the right reasons. Not because they necessarily are corrupt, or out of bizarre arrogance, but because the system is simply too large to be trusted entirely. State level governments are more acceptable and predictable, so I would consider state level law enforcement, but anything more than that and it is entirely too unpredictable. There could be another Iraq or Afghanistan where my efforts would, indirectly or directly, result in the deaths of innocent civilians. However, that said, I do not fault people for joining the military. Moving up the socio-economic ladder is EXTREMELY difficult and requires much more social connection than most people imagine. If you find yourself in a situation where you are poor and lacking the social capital to advance upwards, the military can provide both financial and social backing that would be nearly impossible to obtain otherwise. The world isn't black and white.[/QUOTE] Good Will Hunting was a good movie, I agree.

I couldn't imagine that.

You should chill a little. I'm sad that you're life didn't turn out well, it's all the school system's fault.

[QUOTE=Zeke129;28857174]realize you can't get a job have no money to get back home live on the street in a foreign country[/QUOTE] mate nobody said it's a bad living few of my friends have gone down this road

I'm still not sure why you didn't just blow the cunt up anyway

OP, you remind me of: [img]http://www.franksfilms.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/pi-0.jpg[/img]

[QUOTE=Roo-kie;28853559]why not radically change your life/lifestyle? sell your shit bail overseas[/QUOTE] You would actually be suprised about how close I am to that. Iw as offered a measly desk job by some company in Tokyo as well as a visa to work in the country and dibs on a shabby two room apartment a block away. I'm iffy about losing my computer gear. Who knows waht I would subsittute that with in japan. Video Games? Anime?? [quote]The OP has alot of problems, which cause him to have bouts of depression. When he gets like this, he's depressed![/quote] You know, you are onto something here as this happens several times a month. The disturbing part is that they are starting to get closer and closer together and spanning larger amounts of time. I don't know what will happen when they start to become constant.

Draw up an idea and sell it. I'm 16 and have only done about 3 hours work, it has only cost me around $80NZD (I'm in New Zealand) I have no work experience, or anything else like that, but with a tiny bit of research and some spare money I may have revolutionized the flare :D hopefully anyway. if you can dream it, it can be made. Good luck! :)

[QUOTE=MIPS;28869505]I'm iffy about losing my computer gear. Who knows waht I would subsittute that with in japan. Video Games? Anime?? [/QUOTE] maybe a social life? your computer gear is fucking your life because you don't want to let go of it

[QUOTE=Roo-kie;28869545]maybe a social life? your computer gear is fucking your life because you don't want to let go of it[/QUOTE] there's no hypocrite rating so I'll just post this. :smug:

[QUOTE=Zeke129;28825356]maybe someone will use eggplant in porn some day[/QUOTE] You probably don't remember it, but there was a thread here a few months ago about a website called freecams.com or something. Some free cam whore site. I popped in one of the rooms as the girl was making an eggplant disappear. :geno: It was not a sight I would like to see again. [editline]29th March 2011[/editline] Also, I feel for you OP. There are quite a few similarities between you and me. I'd like to say I have friends, but if I'm honest, not...[i]really[/i]. I've been tested and shit for ADD/ADHD and whatever else, back when I was like 8 I think. All I remember is sitting in some guys office playing the board game Mouse trap. I didn't know why I was there at the time, but later I learned he was testing me for Learning disabilities. He gave me a clean bill of health, but I'm almost convinced I probably have Aspurgers. I've always been really shy, usually until I'm comfortable being around the person, or I get drunk, even then I'm still relatively shy. And I spent the majority of my child hood playing video games, Diablo 1&2 and Command and Conquer were my child hood. I nearly failed out of school, in fact I'm pretty sure I never ever ever passed an English/Literature class. I can read fine, my reading level is supposedly pretty high, and I've passed just about every test I've ever taken, but I never got the hang of writing for my class. Eventually I dropped out, and started going to an "Alternative High School". I actually for the first time in my life started getting A's. In my US History class, I think I got 110% the first half, and 115% the second half of the class. I took a US Constitution class next, and got like a 95%. Then just my luck, my teacher died of a stroke over winter break. :smith: I think right now I'm like 7-8 credits short of graduating, but me being 19, I'm going to get my GED and go to my local Community college, probably after I get a job. I'm thinking of getting a job through a temp agency that hire people on at the place my dad works at. Because honestly I have no fucking idea what I want to do. And now I'm just rambling. Anyways to sum up my life, I'm 19, a virgin, no close friends to speak of, no job(not a real one anyways, I get paid ~$400 a month after taxes from the State to take care of my brother on the weekends, and I haven't really had to do it lately) but at least I'm not homeless, starving, and on Meth/heroin, like half of my family.

[QUOTE=MIPS;28869505]You would actually be suprised about how close I am to that. Iw as offered a measly desk job by some company in Tokyo as well as a visa to work in the country and dibs on a shabby two room apartment a block away. I'm iffy about losing my computer gear. Who knows waht I would subsittute that with in japan. Video Games? Anime?? You know, you are onto something here as this happens several times a month. The disturbing part is that they are starting to get closer and closer together and spanning larger amounts of time. I don't know what will happen when they start to become constant.[/QUOTE] I love how you ignored the last half of my post. [b]YOU'RE DEPRESSED, YOU'RE GOING TO SHIELD YOURSELF FROM OPTIMISM, UNLESS YOU CAN CONVINCE YOURSELF TO BE A LITTLE HAPPY, AND DO SOMETHING YOU LIKE![/b] Unless you can get yourself to try something new, try something you like, you'll be nowhere but the mopey-dopey hullabaloo shit you're doing now.

[QUOTE=Roo-kie;28869545]maybe a social life? your computer gear is fucking your life because you don't want to let go of it[/QUOTE] Well you honestly can't blame him for not wanting to get rid of a huge collection of something he loves Hey MIPS, I read through your "MIPS goes exploring" post and I noticed the photo with the breaker. You seemed to know what you were talking about, so how about being an electrician? Find an apprenticeship so you can get paid while you learn and it won't feel so much like pointless schooling.

Trades are bullshit. I am not getting involved with that crap simply because it'll start to saturate like the IT industry and you'll see the sae thing: lots of tradesmen working for shit pay. [quote]AND DO SOMETHING YOU LIKE![/quote] HOW? HOW?! I can barely fucking afford gas to get across town, I have to save up for a month just so I can afford the gas to see my parents four hours away. How can I do something I like when I can't afford to travel around or get to said places to do shit I like? It's a good thing my parents are paying my minimalist cell phone bill. That extra $40 would probably bankrupt me.

[QUOTE=MIPS;28873485]Trades are bullshit. I am not getting involved with that crap simply because it'll start to saturate like the IT industry and you'll see the sae thing: lots of tradesmen working for shit pay.[/QUOTE] Trades constantly do that. I was planning on being a welder but dropped it when I realized I hated repetitive tasks, but I did learn something about the trades market - there are three trades where you will [i]always[/i] be able to find work: electrician, boilermaker, and HVAC repair. (Mostly because those are the three that get ignored since everyone wants to be a welder or mechanic instead) Millwright is a good one if you want to do a bit of everything but never really work all that hard

-snap