I had a flatmate that actually bought one of these. He was 21 and a virgin. It was fascinating watching him slowly spiral into insanity. Be bought that male phermone shit, he bought books on NLP, he masturbated himself into a near fucking coma. I can only assume that listening to me and my Girlfriend doing it like monkeys in the next room (she's a screamer) drove him over the edge. He eventually snapped and bought a fleshlight. He leapt out of bed like a kid on fucking Christmas morning the day it showed up (We were students at the time and as so we were both still in our respective beds at like 11:30AM.
He unwrapped it (and the sachets of complimentary lube that came with it) and grinning like a madman told me that he'd beback in 20 minutes. I sat at my computer and put on some headphones with loud music.
20 minutes later he came out, but he didn't look happy.
Short version
Me: Did it work?
Him: Oh god I feel dead inside.
You know what? He went home that summer holiday (I had a girlfriend in my University town and also a job to hold so I didn't go home) and he got pussy. The fleshlight was summarily destroyed when he got back.
Trust me, you don't want one
[QUOTE=ketchup;21401908]TAKE A BATH.
[IMG]http://imgur.com/gDHup.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]
That bath looks fucking Epic
if you're looking for a endurance run, then you should use it. Find out how long you can last in a real situation.
If you're using it because you can't get some, well.. meh. It's your life. Don't let people on here tease you.
I'd say do it. When it comes to the real thing you'll be prepared.
[sp]if it ever comes to that[/sp]
Oh come the fuck on its not that hard to get laid as long as you're not fuck ugly. Not that its that big of a deal in the first place.
My two cents: Man up.
[QUOTE=SuPeR_MaN;21405687]That bath looks fucking Epic[/QUOTE]
I was thinking the same thing I just wanted to stay on topic :v:
[editline]10:49AM[/editline]
[QUOTE=BlazeFresh;21405279]i dont have one, my fleshlights are females[/QUOTE]
ok :hfive:
I'm afraid that when I ever get laid, I'll last like 2 minutes :byodood:
[QUOTE=Dlaor;21406190]I'm afraid that when I ever get laid, I'll last like 2 minutes :byodood:[/QUOTE]
yeah :byodood:
I had a very good corny comment, but I forgot it. Somebody make fun of him for me, please.
Don't do that.
You just have to quit being a pussy and get laid.
Find something that your really good at maybe and some girls may be into it. (not wanking)
Hmmm. I don't know, Kevin Smith made a pretty good sales pitch on his podcast.
It would be fun if he didn't find the hole :v:
I'm quite baffled about this. Women use vibrators, dildos and other sex toys and are applauded for exploring their sexuality(and so on). When a male buys a sex toy(a fleshlight etc), he's looked upon as a weirdo, a misfit and a creep. Why is this?
[QUOTE=Dlaor;21406190]I'm afraid that when I ever get laid, I'll last like 2 minutes :byodood:[/QUOTE]
Just don't use the condoms that are supposed to make you last longer. They numb you and it just doesn't work the first time.
[QUOTE]It's not the Fleshlight's fault, really. Just the fact that trying to use the one I ordered for my 34th birthday has rammed home the basic fact that I am a loser and that I am never going to get laid in my life.
I am apparently both too small and too big to use the Fleshlight. Small in the image:penisfilter.png and big in the grossly overweight stomach. The result is that I apparently can't get very deep into the thing and experience the ribbing and other textures.
I ordered four inserts at once, three supertights with the three sorts of textures -- wave, ribbed, bumped -- and one ultratight. With all of them I have been having an incredible struggle to find a comfortable position to get in with my enormous stomach to allow for using the thing long enough to get off. I apparently developed a way to masturbate by hand that deluded myself into thinking I was normal. I am obviously not. I can only seem to go about an inch and a half into this Fleshlight before my fat gets in the way and the smallness of my image:penisfilter.png defeat the purpose. The incredible depression of the experience makes it hard for me to stay erect as the whole time I am thinking about what a deformed, out-of-shape loser I am, so I end up only half hard or less.
Today is my 34th birthday. I have never had a girlfriend in my life, due to being a shy fatass with an ugly skin condition that I was afraid of having anyone see by taking my clothes off. I am so incredibly fucking lonely and depressed. I just want to be able to hug a woman, to hold her in my arms. Sex is frankly secondary to me, which is lucky given that I haven't had any except with my own hand.
I bought this thing thinking I would treat myself and make myself happier, but it has just driven home how fucked I am. I guess my only hope at this point is to find a woman who doesn't mind me only using oral sex on her because my image:penisfilter.png obviously doesn't work very well. [/QUOTE]
Anyone remember this?
OP, proove you'r not this dude.
Why would you use a flesh light anyway? Just buy a hooker.
[QUOTE=Slacker996;21408197]Why would you use a flesh light anyway? Just buy a hooker.[/QUOTE]
So you can get an STD while you are at it. Unless you use condom with antivirus installed
[QUOTE=kayOkay;21408180]Anyone remember this?
OP, proove you'r not this dude.[/QUOTE]
I'm 18 years old and I'm thinking of purchasing it?
Actually not anymore, I will just wait for the right girl.
I was joking.
Also, seriously, sorry for you but I find this whole fleshlight thing totally sad.
You can settle with your hand, or a fleshlight or whatever. But seriously, having sex is all about that heat and moaning and shit no vergin knows.
That fleshlight is just like masturbation lvl 2, but seriously, let's admit it, masturbating is sad. Get a gf, I tell you. Anyone would be fine, even one you don't care about (no hookers).
You ain't a chick, so you can probably blow your first time with whoever it is. But fleshlights are plain sad.
/oldjerk.
[QUOTE=BlazeFresh;21401962]Pretty much this, it's like when you have a wank and then straight away you close all that suddenly disgusting porn. When you are done, you will look at the fleshlight like it just murderded your mother. And probably feel really shit that you bought that instead of spending money on going out on a date with a girl.[/QUOTE]
I do that with girls
afterwards i'd think why the fuck did i just waste my time like this
maybe i need therapy...
[editline]12:58PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Superscatman;21405282]If you want one, get one. It's no different than a chick getting a dildo.[/QUOTE]
it is, for the reasons that itchybarracuda posted
Why don't you... Get a girlfriend?...
[editline]01:03PM[/editline]
Fuck if your having that much trouble getting laid buy a hooker before you fuck a plastic tube.
[QUOTE=BlazeFresh;21401962]Pretty much this, it's like when you have a wank and then straight away you close all that suddenly disgusting porn. When you are done, you will look at the fleshlight like it just murderded your mother. And probably feel really shit that you bought that [B][I]instead of spending money on going out on a date with a girl.[/I][/B][/QUOTE]
[quote]Pay a hooker and get laid... simple.. [/quote]Sounds like the same thing to me. :smile:
No, do not purchase one. If you do, a few things will happen:
-You will feel like shit for having bought and used one
-You would have paid to feel sad
-The confidence in yourself will drop like a stone, which is not what attracts girls, quite the opposite in fact
Also when you say "They see me as a great friend but nothing more", the first thing I think is that you are kind and caring with them.
You'd think that being kind and caring would get you laid right? [B]Wrong[/B], be a self-confident asshole (within reason of course) and you'll get laid (as long as you look decent and shower). Just don't become a closet-narcissist, because then you'll have loads of girls bothering you but none will be up to your standards (basically the opposite end to the lonely nerd).
[QUOTE=Dlaor;21406190]I'm afraid that when I ever get laid, I'll last like 2 minutes :byodood:[/QUOTE]
Think about something else while your doing it and concentrate on it. And look down with your eyes to the side so it looks like your focused on her, but your really not.
Last time I did it I was thinking about how to beat the Penetrator on Demon's Souls while performing a doggy style slap ass. 17 minutes :dance:
[QUOTE=Greendead;21401651]So I've been thinking alot and I still can't decide.
Should I buy fleshlight or not?
I'm been reading comments and reviews on the internet, and not even a single person said, that it sucks. They say that it's very close to the real thing. I would really like to try it, but there's a catch:
I'm still a virgin. It's not that I'm shy or anything, but I'm seeing that girls don't even want to hang out with me. (Am I a wierdo or something?) Btw, I'm 1 month away from my 19th birthday, so I'm in the legal age to use it. I just still don't know, if it's a good idea before having sex the first time.
Some people say that it's better to try it on fleshlight first, so that you won't be terrible in bed the first time, but some say that it ruined their first sex experience, because they thought it will fell much better than fleshlight.
Should I wait until I'm not a virgin anymore, or should I just give it a go and enjoy myself with it?
Problem is that I don't really know, how long will I be a virgin. Months or years can pass before that happens. And my hand is just getting old from day to day.
Does anyone have it here? Can you give me any advice?[/QUOTE]
your 19, so what if your a virgin, go out and have fun with friends, go on a few dates and see what happens. its not that hard
This is like something straight off the Goldmember forum.
sick fuck
I was gonna say don't because you'll feel like a loser, but on second consideration maybe that's exactly what you need to get a girl.
I wonder if they ever make asslight
[QUOTE=TheForeigner;21411308]I wonder if they ever make asslight[/QUOTE]
[url]http://forums.fleshlight.com/showthread.php?t=16384[/url]
[url]http://forums.fleshlight.com/showthread.php?t=22721[/url]
[url]http://www.adultsensations.ca/fleshlight-pink-butt-fleshlight-p-609.html[/url]
I think it would be a better choice to find out where the problem is. Ask some of the girls why they wont hang out with you. Then try and change whatever the problem is.
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