• Gum: Chewing Man's Stuff
    166 replies, posted
I remember when I bought some Big League Chew at a local convenience store. It tasted perfectly fine as I happily chewed and swallowed. I didn't believe in the whole "gum stays in your stomach for seven years" myth so I always swallowed my gum. Little did I know that after I finished the packet in 30 minutes that this gum had been sitting on the store shelf for [B]2 fucking years![/B] I didn't think anything of it, called my self stupid, and went back to watching Rambo First Blood. About 8 minutes later I felt [I]something[/I] moving in my bowls. Normally I wouldn't give a shit and keep on doing what I was doing but this felt unnatural to say the least. Then [I]something[/I] slammed against my anus and I made a bee line for my bath room up stairs. I felt my ass hit that toilet brim at the speed of sound, I don't even remember pulling down my pants or boxers for that matter. Then [B]IT CAME.[/B] I never felt or heard anything like it facepunch. Ever heard the sound of Niagara Falls? It seemed as if Thor had created thunder to accompany the literal shit storm I was experiencing. When the water had stopped something had also slid out of my ass. It had a very small resemblance to the chewing gum I had. It was sickening to look at. To know that my body didn't even digest this monster, but rather have it move through my bowls and liquefied everything it touched. The toilet bowl was destroyed. The water level must have risen by half a foot with this horrible shade of brown, green, and red. I wondered if I was going to die from dehydration. I was exhausted, sore (I don't think my asshole ever closed again) and I never wanted to chew gum again. What did I learn? Gum won't stay in your stomach for seven years, but rather for 8 minutes before forcing and dissolving its way through your gut. tl;dr If you swallow too much old Big League Chew then you will have diarrhea with a force equivalent to that of Niagara Falls. That's what happened to me. This is why I don't chew Big League Chew any more.
Chewing gum makes me feel edgey as fuck, and makes me want to start fights :v:
I looooove gum. 5 loses flavor to quick.
[img]http://www.oldtimeconfection.com/Gum/Thrills%20gum.JPG[/img] mmm
[QUOTE=articpenguin;21742816][IMG]http://moralhazard.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/k1371.jpg[/IMG] Every American should have at least one of these in their lifetime.[/QUOTE] I have a drawer full of those in my house.
[img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_QfUZQCx8XLo/SZsexACOXDI/AAAAAAAABhw/1qe8uKu2aNw/s400/Trident+Senses.jpg[/img] They have a nice taste.
I much prefer fruity gum over mint, but there's barely any in the UK. This stuff is awesome, but it was only sold in Woolworths :saddowns: [IMG]http://www.candyfavorites.com/pi/2384.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=articpenguin;21742816][IMG]http://moralhazard.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/k1371.jpg[/IMG] Every American should have at least one of these in their lifetime.[/QUOTE] I was gonna get some the other day but it was 7 dollars for a fucking thing of it.
I never liked gum.
I love 5 gum
I love 5 Gum, I have tons of it. Holy crap 25 minute ninja
Gum is alright, but what annoys me is the amount of smokers I know always asking me if I had any because their breaths smell like shit after their disgusting habit. I mean, if you really have to annoy me with your vile smelling shit, can you at least get your own gum or mints or some shit and not annoy me with that too? That isn't much to ask.
Due to the title, I thought this thread was you ranting about how gum reminds you of a man's junk.
[QUOTE=Shadekill;21745367]Due to the title, I thought this thread was you ranting about how gum reminds you of a man's junk.[/QUOTE] I want some now.....:(
Orbit is the shit, lasts forever.
Gotta love Big League Chew.
I don't think I'll chew any man's stuff, thank you very much. :smug:
[QUOTE=pyrofiliac;21742934]I chew this stuff: [IMG]http://terribleanalogies.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/orbit-gum.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] This
Orbit Bubblemint is my favorite gum that isn't Juicy Fruit.
[QUOTE=he-did-it-->;21744712] [IMG]http://www.candyfavorites.com/pi/2384.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] Really? I used to throw it out at Halloween because it was so cheap and everyone gave it out
[QUOTE=bunguer;21744348][img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_QfUZQCx8XLo/SZsexACOXDI/AAAAAAAABhw/1qe8uKu2aNw/s400/Trident+Senses.jpg[/img] They have a nice taste.[/QUOTE] I've never seen that at my gas station or grocery store :/
I rarely chew gum - I used to constantly since I went to public school when none of my teachers minded gum and it eliminated boredom somehow. I still have a ridiculous amount of gum in my house though - half of it will probably expire before I even touch it. I like 5's Solstice best but I'm not that adventurous.
[img]http://img2.timeinc.net/instyle/images/2008/GALLERY/10/100908_trident_400x400.jpg[/img] Best tasting gum. Period.
youz all fucking retarded [IMG]http://www.ica-d.com/puzzle/play/free/kids/candies/chicklets.jpg[/IMG] chicklets be the biggity-bomb yo
I like 5 gum, it lasts 5 hours, not minutes. (Not really, it actually goes on for more)
Any gum that is watermelon, but I prefer either stride,5 gum, or trident gum (all flavors).
Real men don't chew gum. [IMG]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_oClm5w3Om90/R6KJfa4BVbI/AAAAAAAAAwQ/ILkFpbA7mU4/s320/red+man.jpg[/IMG]
I think 5 is really overrated because of their "edgyness" and their commercials.
I tried gum in the past. Got fed up when I couldn't blow a bubble.
motherfucking big league chew represent
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