Rate The Last Movie You Watched - This Thread Took 12 Years To Make Edition - General

[B]John Wick[/B] - 8/10 Second time watching this. Still fantastic, but this time I was really struck by just how [I]dark[/I] it was. You almost feel Wick has a death wish in it - how far is he willing to go in his desire for revenge? It was more than "just a fucking dog" to him - but is he justified in wiping out nearly the whole Tarasov operation. There's the insistence that they are all 'civilized' and 'professionals', but at the end of the day behind the gilded Continental and suit-and-smile conversations people are still getting their hands mighty dirty. Wick got out once and was fine leaving that life behind - but old friends and old habits die hard. I also liked how almost everyone - especially the protagonists - was an older person. Dafoe, McShane, Nyqvist, even the nigh-immortal Reeves show their age and how this deadly lifestyle takes its toll on their humanity. With the sequel coming up sooner or later, it's be fascinating to see where it goes. Wick has insisted that he's 'back', and it's almost scary at times how he refuses to turn back in his single-minded quests for revenge. Plus now that his last ties to his old life - his wife, the dog, and his last hitman buddy - are gone there's less to tie him down. anyways: very very good. very stylish, beautiful shots and scenery. get the blu-ray.

The Congress - 7/10 Well, this was certainly something different. I didn't love it, but I really enjoyed myself - there's not really much I can say about this one, other than go in as blind as possible (no trailers, no reviews, etc.) because it's a real treat - I could see this one staying a cult classic in about 15 years or so

[QUOTE=Corndog Ninja;49451220][img]http://i.imgur.com/uyzRG1W.gif[/img][/QUOTE] yeah i thought one character looked cool in a bad movie who appeared for all of 5 minutes, my opinion is totally null

[QUOTE=Pops;49451267]the hobbit was written before lord of the rings, so that doesn't quite work there. also, half of the time any prequel thing comes out, it's always after the original work started, because it wasn't thought of at the beginning. george only got the idea for the prequels and sequels when he decided to call empire "episode 5". shit, the wheel of time books didn't get a prequel until like the tenth novel was released.[/QUOTE] [quote]At least when it comes to movies. Books/comics/video games can do whatever the crap they want for all I care. [/quote] As for Ep. 5, I think everything would have been better off if George hadn't done that. Or if he was just too set on telling it, do the prequel story in some other media. (The Clone Wars TV series was actually good, but watching it had the side effect of making me hate the prequel movies even more) My whole point to this is that Hollywood should be very cautious when green lighting prequels. And I guess they probably are, there really aren't too many that get made. I just haven't been happy with the ones that have been made and would prefer time/money spent on continuing the story rather than making messes with fairly unimportant pre-original stories. I mean really all the important things that happen in the Star Wars prequels are talked about in the originals. Anakin and Obiwan fighting in the clone war together, Anakin turning to the darkside, his daughter is hidden from him, etc. No need to see it.

[QUOTE=Rofl_copter;49451292]yeah i thought one character looked cool in a bad movie who appeared for all of 5 minutes, my opinion is totally null[/QUOTE] stop assuming everyone on the internet is trying to invalidate your existence and you'll find yourself having a much nicer time

good point though what i should've is i think it's dumb to keep talking about the prequels when everyone and their moms know its bad, waste of time to try to rank to them especially. constantly talking about (literally objectively) shit movies isnt fun [editline]d[/editline] granted it's probably easier to just ignore posts but no one else is tired of hearing about the prequels everywhere? it gets boring af imo [editline]d[/editline] god maybe i am turning into a bad impression of rusty

[QUOTE=Rofl_copter;49451528] god maybe i am turning into a bad impression of rusty[/QUOTE] all it takes to become rusty is to type in lowercase? also not everyone knows the prequels are bad, [I]most[/I] people that grew up with them definitely remember them being totally great, but we're all in a thread to talk about movies on a niche gaming forum so i agree.

[QUOTE=Mbbird;49451629]all it takes to become rusty is to type in lowercase? also not everyone knows the prequels are bad, [I]most[/I] people that grew up with them definitely remember them being totally great, but we're all in a thread to talk about movies on a niche gaming forum so i agree.[/QUOTE] nah, was just making a joke since someone said it a few pages when i was ripping on force awakens and yea, thats what im saying. even then though i feel like its househoild knowledge, i cant think of many people i know in real life who dont know. by this point its just so ingrained in the media. im p sure even people who grew up on them like i did are aware now. i think the only time i heard an exception was ep 3, its like the one movie series you can count on that pretty much no one will like

[QUOTE=Emperor Scorpious II;49449484] Like when [sp]Tatum got his head blown off[/sp][/QUOTE] I was in a full theater watching this. Everyone just let out a loud 'OOH', it was awesome. Speaking of awesome, kudos to Tim Roth's performance. Every moment he opens his mouth is just delightful.

oh man tim roth is in it too? that got me pretty excited has anyone seen his first movie, made in england? just out of curiousity

I watched the 3rd [B]Hobbit[/B] movie just the other day, and while the trilogy feels like a trainwreck from start to finish, like the Star Wars prequels did, I'd say that the Hobbit is much better. I don't like rating things with numbers, but here are my thoughts on all 3 of them, sorry it's so much text, I tried to keep it short but they're really long movies: [B]An Unexpected Journey[/B] I watched this when it was first released on DVD so I don't remember too much anymore, but I do remember being extremely disappointed. I'm a huge fan of the LOTR films, and was kind of expecting more of the same. I knew it was based on a children's book, but oh man, I didn't anticipate the scrotum-beard goblins and cast of what my brother and I called 'comedy dwarves'. There are 13 dwarves, and they are about as easy to remember as they are to take seriously. Honestly, after 8 hours of movie I can name 3 dwarves, Thorin, aka Aragorn lite but less interesting, Fili and Kili. I remember the last two because one of them dies (God knows which one) and their names rhyme. Don't get the wrong idea though, the only dwarf deaths are in the final quarter of the last movie. That's right, the audience is expected to care and fear for these [B]13[/B] main characters who all have impenetrable plot armour up until the last 20 minutes of the final fucking movie. There is no sense of danger in AUJ at all, and it ends with them just being like, "lol, there's the misty mountain all the way over there, we're nowhere near it after 2 and a half hours and there are still 2 movies to go". [I] Good bits: Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman and Cate Blanchett are great as their respective characters, Christopher Lee as well, but he has a bit part really. Andy Serkis returns as Gollum and the riddle scene is entertaining enough. [/I] [B]Desolation of Smaug[/B] I had no hopes to dash with this movie, I knew how it was going to be, but it still disappointed. AUJ felt bloated, this felt worse. After about 70% of the film, the party escape from an elfish prison via some kind of log flume playset, and gain passage to the mountain from a mysterious beardy ranger (Aragorn lite V2 basically, character ideas are hard guys). At this point, I couldn't believe they were introducing a new character, I gave literally zero fucks and actually disliked how much of an angsty cliche he was. At least they're almost at the mountain, I thought, then they can fight a [I]dragon voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch who is literally hoarding a Scrooge McDuck style stash of gold[/I], it's impossible to screw up! Guess what guys, it's subplot time. There is a town of people who literally live on stilts over the lake. They call it Laketown, and oh boy, Stephen Fry is the corrupt mayor, he has a discount Grima Wormtongue and "Bard" has a disgraced family line to avenge and take back the town. Y'all care about fisherman politics right? After some bullshit they fight the dragon, I'm not too sure what happened here because I literally fell asleep in my chair and then woke up at the end, thinking, finally, it's over, finally the dragon is dead. Nope, he just flies off to burn Laketown for no reason, and it just cuts with Bilbo looking worried. [I] Good bits: The dragon looks cool for the five minutes it's in the film. [/I] [B]Battle of the Five Armies[/B] Starts off well, Smaug is burning laketown down, which is exactly what the director should have done before thinking to include it in the first place. Then Bard kills him with a bow that was literally snapped in half after Smaug talks about how dead Bard is for five minutes. Both Bard and his insufferable son survive the encounter, even though they were trapped in a collapsing tower that was on fire, over a lake. The film labours the point about how bad greed is early on with Stephen Fry's character pushing people off his escape boat to make more room for gold. He is shortly killed, nobody is surprised. There's a love triangle with a dwarf, Legolas and a she-elf that we nicknamed Shelf, I haven't mentioned it because it's tacky, cliche and boring, and it's only saving grace is that Legolas' Hobbit makeup makes him look a bit like Joffrey. After Smaug is killed before the titlecard shows up, the comedy dwarves move into the mountain, and various armies show up to kill them. There's an orc army that's the clear superior force, as they not only have thousands of copy pasted orcs, but also ludicrous CGI ogre siege weapons, and they rightly win for a time. Until the worst scene in the entire trilogy happens, all 13 dwarves charge out of the mountain, and for some reason, turn the tide of the battle instead of literally being slaughtered immediately. They then get on rams out of nowhere -like it's an mmo and they're summoning their mounts- and just ride up the mountain and kill the orc leader. 3 dwarves die bloodlessly in doing so, and that's it, battle won, Bilbo pisses off back to the shire, Gandalf asks him about the obvious OP magic ring he has, and even though Gandalf himself has been held prisoner by Sauron for [I]days[/I], he just lets Bilbo keep the ring which anyone with any sense would at least check isn't the one ring. You know, the one ring that holds most of Sauron's power, without which he may never take physical form and actually threaten middle-earth. Gandalf wanders off and we're left to believe he never checked up on that ring in [B]60 years[/B]. [B]Overall rating for the entire trilogy: Don't bother\10 [/B]

Sisters It was the exact same generic formulaic comedy america has been pumping out for the past decade.

[B]Kingsman: The Secret Service[/B] Solid 9/10 throughout the entire movie, up until I'd say the last 5 minutes when it dipped to a 0/10. How the fuck did they mess up the movie so bad? What moron in the script-writing department thought that was a good idea?

[QUOTE=Coyoteze;49452267][B]Kingsman: The Secret Service[/B] Solid 9/10 throughout the entire movie, up until I'd say the last 5 minutes when it dipped to a 0/10. How the fuck did they mess up the movie so bad? What moron in the script-writing department thought that was a good idea?[/QUOTE] huh

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;49452296]huh[/QUOTE] The movie keeps a certain theme and tone the entire way through and then in the last five minutes [sp]they just throw in an extremely out of place "you can fuck me in the asshole" joke from the pretty blonde swedish princess, and that's what the movie ends on 5 minutes later with that first-person panning[/sp]. Given everything else that happens in the movie, it makes absolutely no sense. [sp]It completely breaks Eggsy's character, it's very rushed and completely unnecessary. It smacks you in the face, and then leaves.[/sp] Roll credits. What?

[IMG]https://facepunch.com/fp/flags/se.png[/IMG] Seems to have struck as nerve there Also there was a pretty lengthy scene after that.

[QUOTE=Coyoteze;49452309]The movie keeps a certain theme and tone the entire way through and then in the last five minutes [sp]they just throw in an extremely out of place "you can fuck me in the asshole" joke from the pretty blonde swedish princess, and that's what the movie ends on 5 minutes later with that first-person panning[/sp]. Given everything else that happens in the movie, it makes absolutely no sense. [sp]It completely breaks Eggsy's character, it's very rushed and completely unnecessary. It smacks you in the face, and then leaves.[/sp] Roll credits. What?[/QUOTE] it's a ludicrous r rated comedy that mocks spy movies and you were surprised by that? Seemed more like a 007 parody scene rather than anything else, and it fits fine. Actually, I'm glad they had they went the extra mile to include a scene like that.

[QUOTE=Scot;49452333][IMG]https://facepunch.com/fp/flags/se.png[/IMG] Seems to have struck as nerve there[/QUOTE] Well, no, I don't mind the stereotype. In fact I think it's a hilarious trope if anything. It's the joke I'm not fine with because from a narrative standpoint it doesn't fit in at all. The trope in the [B]context [/B]of the joke however makes it worse, not because it "struck a nerve" but because of how generic and out of place it felt. [editline]4th January 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=KlaseR;49452347]it's a ludicrous r rated comedy that mocks spy movies and you were surprised by that? Seemed more like a 007 parody scene rather than anything else.[/QUOTE] But it was doing totally fine from the start up until that point of being a ludicrous r rated comedy that mocks spy movies. It felt out of place given [I][B]literally everything else [/B][/I]we'd seen of the characters up to that point. Not to mention of how it's all written and acted. It's cringey. It's not worthy of that movie.

[QUOTE=Coyoteze;49452348]ut it was doing totally fine from the start up until that point of being a ludicrous r rated comedy that mocks spy movies. It felt out of place given [I][B]literally everything else [/B][/I]we'd seen of the characters up to that point.[/QUOTE] nah I didn't find it out of place. [sp]The movie didn't really address anything sexual until that point, the guy's single, and it doesn't seem to go against the whole "being a gentleman" thing that the kingsmen have going. It fits well in the moment, after a ludicrous action scene it's not out of place to insert a joke like that to finish it off.[/sp]

[QUOTE=KlaseR;49452360]nah I didn't find it out of place. [sp]The movie didn't really address anything sexual until that point, the guy's single, and it doesn't seem to go against the whole "being a gentleman" thing that the kingsmen have going. It fits well in the moment, after a ludicrous action scene it's not out of place to insert a joke like that to finish it off.[/sp][/QUOTE] No but that's the point. [sp]The movie DIDN'T adress anything sexual up until that point. So it doesn't fit in. If they'd established earlier on in the character development that Eggsy was a playboy of some sort, it might have worked better. But he's this lone wolf almost from the start, you don't perceive him as that. So when that appears it just seems so out of character. He could've just free'd her and that'd be that. I'd even swallow the "If you get me out of here we can do more then kiss" Tilde briefly says. It's subtle enough. But no, they had to throw in the "We can do it in the asshole" line, and have the fucking camera-pan. That's what throws me off.[/sp] Look, in any other movie that had kept THAT tone and theme from the start, it would've been a fine joke. But it's just that when you take those 5 minutes and put it next to everything else in the movie, it doesn't fit in at all. If I'd seen that joke in, I dunno, Scary Movie 5 or something I'd be able to shrug it off. But not in [I]Kingsman[/I].

its out of character for a confident charismatic 19 year old guy to accept the offer of anal sex from a swedish princess what

[QUOTE=Scot;49452456][sp]its out of character for a confident charismatic 19 year old guy to accept the offer of anal sex from a swedish princess[/sp] what[/QUOTE] Given the rest of the character we've seen up until that point, yes, since it's never even once suggested that he's that kind of character. The bigger problem is [sp]that the suggestion is even there in the first place. Like I said, if they'd left it at the subtle "If you get me out of here I'll give you more than a kiss", it'd be fine.[/sp] But they went the extra mile and hit a wall in the process. And it completely ruins it. Also, might want to spoiler that? [editline]4th January 2016[/editline] This is basic character storytelling, do you not see how that kind of development in a narrative can be seen as very sudden and out of place given context of everything else throughout the movie?

was a homage to terrible james bond sex puns [QUOTE]It ends [on that joke] for a very strong reason. A lot of Bond movies used to end on things like Bond trying to ‘attempt re-entry,’ or ‘keeping the British end up.’ So I just thought, ‘We’ve pushed the boundary on every sort of spy cliché.’ We’ve got to end it on The Big One. And there’s only one way of doing it, taking it to the next level![/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Coyoteze;49452483]Given the rest of the character we've seen up until that point, yes, since it's never even once suggested that he's that kind of character. The bigger problem is [sp]that the suggestion is even there in the first place. Like I said, if they'd left it at the subtle "If you get me out of here I'll give you more than a kiss", it'd be fine.[/sp] But they went the extra mile and hit a wall in the process. And it completely ruins it.[/quote] dude I think you're just a prude [quote]This is basic character storytelling, do you not see how that kind of development in a narrative can be seen as very sudden and out of place given context of everything else throughout the movie?[/QUOTE] Oh you mean the extremely graphic violence? No?

[QUOTE=cricket50;49452494]was a homage to terrible james bond sex puns[/QUOTE] For fucks sake, I don't care about the sex joke itself, I care about how it was EXECUTED. Like I said, if they'd left it at the subtle line Tilde says to begin with, it would've still been a homage, and it wouldn't be a blaring error in character development later on. [QUOTE=Scot;49452496]dude I think you're just a prude[/QUOTE] How the [I]fuck [/I]am I being a prude for thinking that breaking all kinds of character development throughout the full first 120 minutes of movies for an awfully executed sex joke? Again, the sex joke itself isn't the problem, it's how it was executed. I have absolutely no problem with sex jokes if they make sense in the context of character and situation - which this had none of. With James Bond it makes sense because James Bond is established as a casanova. EGGSY WASN'T. [QUOTE=Scot;49452496]Oh you mean the extremely graphic violence? No?[/QUOTE] They established VERY early on in the movie that there would be graphic violence, so no. It was part of the early set tone of the movie. The sex joke was not. It came as a slap in the face in the last 5 minutes. [editline]4th January 2016[/editline] I hope none of you people aim to be scriptwriters. Jesus Christ, you'd have to [I]pay [/I]me to watch whatever pile of dung you'd write up if you think breaking character this way is an acceptable way to tell a story.

[QUOTE=Oicani Gonzales;49452524]honestly i find that joke a bit too weak, too. it didn't detract from my entire experience, though.[/QUOTE] Oh well no, the rest of the movie is still absolutely glorious. But I dread watching it again because it means having to deal with that ending.

[QUOTE=Coyoteze;49452534]Oh well no, the rest of the movie is still absolutely glorious. But I dread watching it again because it means having to deal with that ending.[/QUOTE] Well you'll be happy to know that it was edited out in some markets.

[QUOTE=Oicani Gonzales;49452524]honestly i find that joke a bit too weak, too. it didn't detract from my entire experience, though.[/QUOTE] i agree, it came out of nowhere i laughed but it was a pretty big tonal shift for a single gag

[QUOTE=Coyoteze;49452483]Given the rest of the character we've seen up until that point, yes, since it's never even once suggested that he's that kind of character. The bigger problem is [sp]that the suggestion is even there in the first place. Like I said, if they'd left it at the subtle "If you get me out of here I'll give you more than a kiss", it'd be fine.[/sp] But they went the extra mile and hit a wall in the process. And it completely ruins it. Also, might want to spoiler that? [editline]4th January 2016[/editline] This is basic character storytelling, do you not see how that kind of development in a narrative can be seen as very sudden and out of place given context of everything else throughout the movie?[/QUOTE] if the rest of the movie were like that, it just wouldn't have the same effect. And thankfully it wasn't, because if it had explicit sexual jokes all throughout it might have been more immature and appeal to a dumber audience. I found the joke had a great effect exactly because it comes out of the blue and unexpectedly, and is essentially a mockery of james bond (as mentioned). I still don't see how it 'ruins' the ending, or anything like that. It's just one shot after all, and doesn't affect the story much at all.

[QUOTE=Menien Goneld;49452033][B]Overall rating for the entire trilogy: Don't bother\10 [/B][/QUOTE] I keep thinking about checking out [URL="https://tolkieneditor.wordpress.com/"]The Tolkien Edit[/URL] but four hours is still a bit too long for me. [editline]4th January 2016[/editline] also the most unforgivable part of BofFA was introducing giant sandworms and then doing absolutely nothing with them