Answer the door half naked, with a knife in your hands and cuts all over your body.
Hang a cross on your front porch/door. They'll be like "oh he's already going to heaven"
A christian knocked on my door when I was 4.
My dad slammed it open, said "fuck you and your religion" The christian started crying and fell down the stairs.
My dad proceeded to curse him out. He ran away crying.
Draw a HUGE SATANIC PAINTING on your house. That'll keep the bastards away.
[QUOTE=Suttles;25891437]A christian knocked on my door when I was 4.
My dad slammed it open, said "fuck you and your religion" The christian started crying and fell down the stairs.
My dad proceeded to curse him out. He ran away crying.[/QUOTE]
Your dad is a hero.
[QUOTE=PaperStrike;25888718]Saw first two posts, and first thought was "Goddamn, so much Beiber!".
Separation of Church and State. They can knock on your door as long as they don't pander religion.[/QUOTE]
...Really? Do you even know what separation of church and state is?
[QUOTE=john_frohman;25892085]Your dad is a hero.[/QUOTE]
Whats funny is he came back the next day, and said something about the devil was in our house.
Guess he didn't learn.
[QUOTE=fenwick;25888736]Tell them to stop coming. Tell them that it they come again, they are trespassing, and you will call the police on them. If they come again, do it.
[editline]wow[/editline]
Why did I bother giving a real suggestion? This is Facepunch.[/QUOTE]
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This.
[QUOTE=DirgeMarksman;25888785]This is very easy. Ive handled this before. Next time they come over. "Hello sir may we teach of of our savior today?"
Simply reply "FUCK NO! SATAN IS MY SALVATION GRRRAAPPSHHHHAAAAA!"
And slam the door. No more Cristian
[editline]6th November 2010[/editline]
No wait. They will think it calls for a Exorcism[/QUOTE]
Dress up with horns/satan and try killing them, obviously.
I chase them all the time, scares the shit outa some, but the others... just sit and headshake.
Buy a door from what ever outlet is available.
buy a set of springs and attach them to the upper back portion of the door.
Now precariously place this door at a 90 degree angle in front of your existing door.
Put a sign up that says "Doorbells busted, Knock hard so I can hear you"
Put a sign on your actual door with some sort of door pun.
[QUOTE=MilkWorm;25888679]They just keep comeing, today marks the fifth time this week they tried to convert me.
Anyway to make them stop? I don't like being woke up at 8:00 every other day.
I'm atheist and proud of it but I don't go door to door while it's half dark out waking up everyone to fill them with lies.
Maybe there doing it early to catch our sleepy minds off guard to brainwash us.
Anyway what are your thoughts on this and is it wrong to hate them?[/QUOTE]
where do you live?
There, knock knock knocking on heavens door
Also just tell them your more into saten and go away
[QUOTE=killerbanjo;25892755]There, knock knock knocking on heavens door
Also just tell them your more into saten and go away[/QUOTE]
Atheism isn't the worship of Satan.
[QUOTE=PaperStrike;25888718]Saw first two posts, and first thought was "Goddamn, so much Beiber!".
Separation of Church and State. They can knock on your door as long as they don't pander religion.[/QUOTE]
Separation of Church and State has nothing to do with this situation. You are talking about separation of Church and Private Property, which does not and never will exist.
[QUOTE=Suttles;25892773]Atheism isn't the worship of Satan.[/QUOTE]
Put a series of books by Dawkins, Darwin, and Carl Sagan on your windowsill.
Could always just explain your situation to them (don't like being woken up early, not interested in theistic beliefs). If their head is too far up their ass, threaten to call the cops if they keep returning.
spend an hour poking holes in their arguments, pointing out hypocrisies, and dismantling their entire belief system. Then for good measure say the god is a heartless bastard.
"Christains"
Just put your dick through the letter box and dont say a word
Ask, "If God really loves everyone then why do people suffer?" Or invite them inside, lock them up and tell them to pray.
Tell them its very unchristian of them to try to convert people
Maybe they're notifying you that you spelled Christians wrong in the thread title.
You know, not ALL Christians are bad people...
say you averything christians are against like gay marrige,masturbation,drugs u know shit like that will (hopefully) make them go away.or get the fuck out of redneck central
I got rid of them by telling them that I was a homosexual Satan worshipper and that my parents were the servant of the dark lord and had fulfilled the prophecy of giving birth to the spawn of Satan aka me. They didn't like me that much afterwards and left my house the fuck alone.
Blast death metal next time they come in.
Cover yourself in fake blood, make a fake crown of thorns with plastic walmart plants, and answer the door wearing nothing but a loin cloth.
[QUOTE=Xolo;25888724]Make a big sign, "I DON'T WANT TO CONVERT TO YOUR RELIGION" and plant it next to a no trespassing sign.[/QUOTE]
My uncle did that, but it was a sign on his door saying exactly this:
"I don't believe in whatever bullshit religion you may be trying to convert me to. Go away."
Despite working at Disney, he's a very grumpy man that makes tasty chicken wings and ribs.
Show them the light! Convert these heathen Christains to Christianity.
It's obvious really.
Open your door with your pants dropped and a beer and cigarette in your hand. "Sorry, I was busy worshiping Satan, jacking off, smoking, and drinking."
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