The Boner-Shrinking Thread - How to hide your raging testosterones.
145 replies, posted
The worst thing possible is getting a boner in gym
-approaching locker room-
"Ok, I better not get a fucking boner"
*starts getting hard*
"Oh shit oh fuck"
The most effective way to kill a boner is this:
You will require [B]1[/B] or more [B]Girlfriend[/B].
Before going out in public have your [B]Girlfriend[/B] either;
A) Handjob
B) Blow Job
C) Sex
D) Any of the above in combination
Works every time.
if you don't have a [b]Girlfriend[/b] replace [b]Girlfriend[/b] with [b]Hand[/b] and remove B and C from you're list of options.
[QUOTE=Jurikuer;26489576]The most effective way to kill a boner is this:
You will require [B]1[/B] or more [B]Girlfriend[/B].
Before going out in public have your [B]Girlfriend[/B] either;
A) Handjob
B) Blow Job
C) Sex
D) Any of the above in combination
Works every time.
if you don't have a [b]Girlfriend[/b] replace [b]Girlfriend[/b] with [b]Hand[/b] and remove B and C from you're list of options.[/QUOTE]You can't blow yourself?
[QUOTE=TehWhale;26489705]You can't blow yourself?[/QUOTE]
I never tried. Have you?
For the OP, I would recommend castration.
[QUOTE=Jurikuer;26489576]This works, I swear. From what I'm told because I've never done it myself[/QUOTE]
Fixed it.
It always worked for me to check my pulse and focus on slowing it down.
Anyone else ever have morning wood?
[editline]4th December 2010[/editline]
All the time?
[QUOTE=Carbon123;26489466]The worst thing possible is getting a boner in gym
-approaching locker room-
"Ok, I better not get a fucking boner"
*starts getting hard*
"Oh shit oh fuck"[/QUOTE]
Your avatar gave me one.
[QUOTE=Mobon1;26490064]Anyone else ever have morning wood?
[editline]4th December 2010[/editline]
All the time?[/QUOTE]
Every day...
[QUOTE=Mobon1;26490064]Anyone else ever have morning wood?
[editline]4th December 2010[/editline]
All the time?[/QUOTE]
Only on the occasional weekend.
[QUOTE=Croix;26490083]Your avatar gave me one.[/QUOTE]
I get that a lot
i just lay back and let my dick rise coz iam proud of how large my dick is
[QUOTE=Doom14;26488874][url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_731]Unit 731[/url]
Research them, watch videos, learn, etcetera.
Then, just remember Unit 731 when you get a boner. Always helps me.
[sp]This will not work if you're a sadist or masochist, in fact, it'll do the opposite.[/sp][/QUOTE]
Well i'm never getting one ever again...
[QUOTE=Carbon123;26490228]I get that a lot[/QUOTE]Speaking of your avatar I want the source of it before I die.
[QUOTE=cartman;26490253]i just lay back and let my dick rise coz iam proud of how large my dick is[/QUOTE]
All 3 inches of it?
[QUOTE=Jurikuer;26489576]The most effective way to kill a boner is this:
You will require [B]1[/B] or more [B]Girlfriend[/B].
Before going out in public have your [B]Girlfriend[/B] either;
A) Handjob
B) Blow Job
C) Sex
D) Any of the above in combination
Works every time.
if you don't have a [b]Girlfriend[/b] replace [b]Girlfriend[/b] with [b]Hand[/b] and remove B and C from you're list of options.[/QUOTE]
How about this scenario:
Joey and Amy are walking down the street, window shopping. For whatever reason, Joey starts getting an erection. However Amy is paying very close attention to an item in the window.
Joey: [i]Fuck, this is NOT a good time for this. What should I do to get rid of this inconvenience? Oh here I have an idea...[/i]
Amy: "Oh hey! That would make a good gift for Christma-- WHY THE HELL IS YOUR DICK OUT?"
Joey: "Oh sorry, I popped a boner so I need to you take care of that. A, B, C, or all of the above? :smug:"
[b]And that is how Joey became single on Christmas.[/b]
Oh and before you try and call me out for bad reading, I'm well aware you said to do that before going out in public. That's not always an option now is it? Sometimes guys will get erections in public. Your idea is not the most effective in all circumstances. Unless of course your girlfriend is a freak. (Lucky bastard)
Here's an idea.
Flip tuck it and wait.
I am so good at it :smug:
[quote]Attach a handwarmer to your bladder area and jump up and down.[/quote]
So you're in public, and the first thing you do is find a hand warmer, attach it to your bladder, and jump up and down?
[QUOTE=Gainax;26490443]All 3 inches of it?[/QUOTE]
8.1 inches of it actuly
[QUOTE=nicatronTg;26490694]So you're in public, and the first thing you do is find a hand warmer, attach it to your bladder, and jump up and down?[/QUOTE]
That's how I roll :smug:
[QUOTE=cartman;26490935]8.1 inches of it actuly[/QUOTE]
I can add two inches to my dick size and say 9 inches too.
[QUOTE=SkinkYEA;26489285]I just got a boner thinking about Hilary Clinton.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/images/hillary_clinton.jpg[/img]
She's laughing at you.
[QUOTE=strayebyrd;26489368]while I've never done that, when I was going through my 'awkward' phase I once stabbed myself in the leg with a fountain pen to get rid of it.[/QUOTE]
You get a [img]http://static.facepunch.com/fp/ratings/winner.png[/img] for having that avatar.
I prefer the "I have a pack of polos in my pocket" line
[QUOTE=Appolox;26491089][img_thumb]http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/images/hillary_clinton.jpg[/img_thumb]
She's laughing at you.[/QUOTE]
:fappery:
[QUOTE=cjone2;26491275]I prefer the "I have a pack of polos in my pocket" line[/QUOTE]
Doesn't work for most of us.
Even though I'm an atheist, I still pray to any good dear lord who will hear me. I pray that I never get a boner in boot camp showers.
I'm not gay. At least I don't think I am. But getting a boner in a shower room with a bunch of other men would be horribly embarrassing.
[QUOTE=Flapadar;26492092]Doesn't work for most of us.[/QUOTE]
I never said it worked
