The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v2

[Seith]

[QUOTE=Mlisen14;34134690]Why would you do either when you could live in the now?[/QUOTE]

ask lemoncurry

[editline]10th January 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=Goberfish;34137748]you sound like a fortune cookie[/QUOTE]

I am known to be pretty tasty and bring fortune to those around me.

[Shovelpass]

[QUOTE=Fish_poke;34139640]Funny how I always end up giving relationship advice to people who SHOULD be better at this kind of thing than me. I guess it is what I get for being an observer.[/QUOTE]

If you give advice but it doesn't work for yourself, then it's probably bad advice. Just because something sounds good doesn't mean it's right.

[Jo The Shmo]

ugh, today I finally saw the girl, but I felt really sick and I didn't ask her out. I had a huge headache and my nose was runny and I generally felt like shit, but now I wish I just asked her out anyway

[editline]10th January 2012[/editline]

im not gonna beat myself up over it though, I barely talked to anyone today, I was pretty out of it

[Behemoth_PT]

Call her!

[Turnips5]

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34147531]ugh, today I finally saw the girl, but I felt really sick and I didn't ask her out. I had a huge headache and my nose was runny and I generally felt like shit, but now I wish I just asked her out anyway

[editline]10th January 2012[/editline]

im not gonna beat myself up over it though, I barely talked to anyone today, I was pretty out of it[/QUOTE]

that kinda sucks, what is it with diseases getting in the way of your romantic pursuits?

[Jo The Shmo]

i dont know theyve been getting in the way of everything this year
I've had to miss so many tests because of sickness, and it sucks because the make-up test blocks at my school are a little shorter than normal blocks.

[Mon]

if you're going to ask her out, do it when you get better
that is unless you have some good momentum going on (but you should really do it when you look and feel your best)

[[CWG]RustySpann]

I feel like I'm in the same position as AmericanInfantry now, but tomorrow I'm going to go and talk to a girl, and try to ask her out on a walk.

Hopefully I'll do it, I've had butterflies in my stomach all evening, but I'll be confident when it comes to talking to her. I pussied out before Christmas, but I'm going to do it now.

Wish me luck!

[Strider77]

I need to vent badly so here goes.

I am tired of people.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-social. I'm good looking, outgoing, most people tell me I'm funny, the whole shebang. But, people just piss me off. People can't take jokes. People can't stop being so dramatic about everything. People don't have any sense of loyalty and respect. I can not name one person who I consider a true friend, as all my "friends" have at one point seriously betrayed me and I know deep down that they would without a doubt do so again. I'm a loyal friend, I keep secrets, I don't hold shit against people. But I guess that makes me weak in their eyes, as they manipulate that to take advantage of me by doing what I don't consider myself mean enough to do.

That's how I got where I am.

No one respects me, everyone condescends to me. I act goofy around people I like because it makes us laugh, but apparently years of doing that has actually convinced everyone around me that I am an idiot. No one takes me seriously. I can't confide in anyone anymore as they would reveal to others my secrets. Try as I might to gain respect from even one person, I can't.

It's killing me on the inside, slowly. They use me as a scapegoat when shit goes wrong. They barrage me with insults I don't deserve. The only reason I'm still around these people is because they're all I have. There are no more people to become friends with. I'm on my own. "Make new friends" is frankly not an option.

One part of me legitimately wants to make amends with these people, but the other half, the more logical one, tells me that people are people and I should just seclude myself from them. It honestly wouldn't be that bad. I got accepted to the colleges I want to go to and I only have a little more than half of senior year to get through.

I don't know what to do.

[Jo The Shmo]

have you ever taken a step back and asked yourself if it was you, rather than everyone else, who had the problem?

[[CWG]RustySpann]

I'm fairly sure my friends must feel like that sometimes. You'll probably find that they do that stuff without even realising. You should try and talk to them about it.

[kijji]

[QUOTE='[CWG]RustySpannerz;34152304']I feel like I'm in the same position as AmericanInfantry now, but tomorrow I'm going to go and talk to a girl, and try to ask her out on a walk.

Hopefully I'll do it, I've had butterflies in my stomach all evening, but I'll be confident when it comes to talking to her. I pussied out before Christmas, but I'm going to do it now.

Wish me luck![/QUOTE]
Good luck. :)

[editline]10th January 2012[/editline]

Probably a double post but whatever.

In case you guys need a recent picture of me, here it is.

[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/310841_2530956920755_1458461310_2853815_2066762388_n1.jpg[/img]

I don't smile in many pictures and we were going for a "serious businessman" picture here.

[Shovelpass]

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34152489]have you ever taken a step back and asked yourself if it was you, rather than everyone else, who had the problem?[/QUOTE]

Couldn't agree more. What's more likely, everyone having a problem with you, or you having a problem with everyone?

[Dr. Disciple]

[QUOTE=AmericanInfantry;34152820]Good luck. :)

[editline]10th January 2012[/editline]

Probably a double post but whatever.

In case you guys need a recent picture of me, here it is.

[img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/310841_2530956920755_1458461310_2853815_2066762388_n1.jpg[/img]

I don't smile in many pictures and we were going for a "serious businessman" picture here.[/QUOTE]

Thanks I totally needed this to complete my collection. Uploading to my archives of Facepunch faces now.

[editline]10th January 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=ShadowSocks8;34152422]I need to vent badly so here goes.

I am tired of people.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-social. I'm good looking, outgoing, most people tell me I'm funny, the whole shebang. But, people just piss me off. People can't take jokes. People can't stop being so dramatic about everything. People don't have any sense of loyalty and respect. I can not name one person who I consider a true friend, as all my "friends" have at one point seriously betrayed me and I know deep down that they would without a doubt do so again. I'm a loyal friend, I keep secrets, I don't hold shit against people. But I guess that makes me weak in their eyes, as they manipulate that to take advantage of me by doing what I don't consider myself mean enough to do.

That's how I got where I am.

No one respects me, everyone condescends to me. I act goofy around people I like because it makes us laugh, but apparently years of doing that has actually convinced everyone around me that I am an idiot. No one takes me seriously. I can't confide in anyone anymore as they would reveal to others my secrets. Try as I might to gain respect from even one person, I can't.

It's killing me on the inside, slowly. They use me as a scapegoat when shit goes wrong. They barrage me with insults I don't deserve. The only reason I'm still around these people is because they're all I have. There are no more people to become friends with. I'm on my own. "Make new friends" is frankly not an option.

One part of me legitimately wants to make amends with these people, but the other half, the more logical one, tells me that people are people and I should just seclude myself from them. It honestly wouldn't be that bad. I got accepted to the colleges I want to go to and I only have a little more than half of senior year to get through.

I don't know what to do.[/QUOTE]

First off you need a new attitude. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself and realize the only way you can change things is if you change yourself. Change the way you act and people with think differently towards you. Carry yourself in a mature manner and the way YOU would want to perceive yourself from someone else's eyes. You have to make the choice whether or not these people are really your friends or not and go on from their. You can always find new friends and there's no excuse why you can't unless you've some how managed to sever your relationship with every single person in your school/job.

Keep your head up.

[vizard38]

Facepunch, I'm done. Its time for me to move on. I found a lot of things out today, had a lot of revelations, and its time to stop being retarded.

[Contag]

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34152489]have you ever taken a step back and asked yourself if it was you, rather than everyone else, who had the problem?[/QUOTE]

nah doubt it
sounds like your typical high school drama

Shadow, learn to deal with it otherwise you'll be crushed by office politics later in life

[junker|154]

[QUOTE=vizard38;34156555]Facepunch, I'm done. Its time for me to move on. I found a lot of things out today, had a lot of revelations, and its time to stop being retarded.[/QUOTE]

Awesome! I experienced the same stuff some years ago. Move on and be a hero.

[Jimmaye]

I did it i asked her out (kinda) even if it was over facebook :S

[Contag]

cop out

[editline]11th January 2012[/editline]

next time write it on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and throw it in the sea

[Octyl]

So I decided to go balls to the wall with a facebook conversation with this girl I barely talk to... Within 5 minutes we were playing a very sexual game of Questions, that she initiated.

Worked pretty well, haha.

[Autumn]

you sly rascal!

[darcy010]

Long post about how shit my love life is. Don't feel obliged to read, I just wanted to write it down.

So 3 years ago I liked this girl who was one of my best friends. I knew (Or at least thought I knew) she had a thing for me. I tell one of my 'friends'. Turns out he told her almost instantly that I liked her. Me being a dorky 14 year old I just wait to see where things go. She avoids me for three weeks, then tells me over msn chat that she hooked up with the same friend at a party. They hook up at the next five or so parties, I am present at a few (Which sucked majorly)

Go out with a different girl who I like (One year later)
She treats me like shit. She stood me up three times and her excuse was (I was helping my dad with something), I go over to her house and she spent (No joke) three fucking hours on facebook and bebo talking to her friends. Even when I tried to talk with her or do something else she wouldn't get off. She flirts with the [b]same[/b] guy who hooked up with the previous girl. She sends a picture of herself in a bra to me one night, I laugh, then I get a message from her ex (Who is a good friend of mine and was completely okay with us going out) asking why my girlfriend sent him a picture of her in a bra. Yeah she felt like sending it to him as well.
I sit her down for a serious talk about how she doesn't take us seriously and blah blah blah. She tells me she'll change and so on. Couple weeks later she dumps me.

Few months afterwards and I am very good friends with the first girl again. Lets call her B. Old unresolved feelings come up. I ignore them at first. Then I am told (From another friend that's a girl, lets call her T) that B has feelings for me. I remember what happened last time but decided to take a shot.
We're sitting alone a couple of days later I tell her I have feelings for her, she tells me she has feelings for me. We go on a couple of dates. I can't really be bothered going into detail about this next part (And apparently it didn't cause her decision) but we had a small argument, over a letter I wrote her about how important she was to me and such. I thought she didn't like it, turns out she did blah blah blah. But anyway. I see her a couple of days later and she tells me (Once again) she just wants to be friends, and I should probably see a psychologist because I overacted about the whole letter thing.
The next few months basically consisted of her confused as to why I didn't want to go straight back to being friends and me being depressed and watching her flirt with guys. B eventually got shitty with me and T got even shittier. Because I was ignoring B and didn't want to talk with her.
Now a year on from it all I barely talk to B or T anymore. They've got plenty of friends, why should one matter. The kicker is they're friends with all my friends (Probably better friends with them as well)
So i have to see them everyday. I loved her. I actually did love her. Not anymore though, now all I think about it what could have been.

I now like this new girl. We had a few classes at school together and talked a lot during them. She's in my circle of friends. Anyway I had a party on New Years Eve. She got very drunk and spent most of the night following her ex boyfriend and laying down with him. So yeah I don't see anything happening there.

As a result of all this I have become fairly paranoid about what people think. I regularly assume peoples feelings and motives and base my actions off those assumptions. Hell I have no idea whether B still wants to be friends or not. I just assume she is comfortable where we are not and she doesn't care either way.
I have extremely low self esteem and am pretty socially awkward at the moment. They're sort of fading now but I used to have bouts of depression. I still don't like parties, because they basically consist of me sitting in the corner not doing much at all. Even the party I had. A lot of my friends (B included in there) went into my bedroom to play truth or dare (Lame way of saying they basically did dirty shit, I will probably never find out what happened). I sat outside and listened to another group of friends talk. Then I just went to sleep. Everyone was gone by the time I woke up.

tl;dr The last three years have been complete shit with girls. Causing me to become socially awkward.

[Zinayzen]

There's a super cute girl in one of my classes that I want to ask out but I'm not sure if I should do that because A) it's a music class, which means it's in the fine arts college, and B) fine arts college = everyone is crazy. Discuss.

[General Omega]

[QUOTE=Zinayzen;34161171]There's a super cute girl in one of my classes that I want to ask out but I'm not sure if I should do that because A) it's a music class, which means it's in the fine arts college, and B) fine arts college = everyone is crazy. Discuss.[/QUOTE]

B is a huge point. If she is crazy enough for you to not date and everyone there is crazy, then would you not be crazy enough for someone who doesn't go to your school to not date?

[Dirtydeagle]

[QUOTE=Dirtydeagle;34080156]Funny story from new years..

So I got the numbers of two girls I work with, they are both friends, one of them I find hot the other one I see more as a friend. I was at my own party and I ended up texting both of them, flirting with the hot one and more or less chatting with the other. So it turns out the hot one had a boyfriend already (I didn't say anything stupid), but the other one told me she liked me and then found out I was flirting up her friend. She's been posting annoying sad love quotes on facebook ever since, today is the first day I go back to work and see them both :v:

Also an update from a month ago (for those who don't remember/don't give a shit, my girlfriend cheated on me then dumped me).

Her best friend, which is a girl I dated way way back in elementary school (aka it doesn't count), who I haven't spoken to in about 4 years until two years ago. Anyway, she isn't friends with my ex anymore because she thought what she did to me was pretty disgusting, in fact my ex lost a lot of her friends but that's a whole other story. So yeah, since the breakup we've been talking almost everyday (she helped me out a lot during my mourning period), and I've been developing small feelings for her lately, we're supposed to go out for drinks soon. I don't want to make any moves for a while though because I don't want her to feel like a rebound, there also isn't any rush to get back into a relationship anyway.[/QUOTE]

Okay so I have an update, we went out for drinks, and well, yeah...

We both basically confessed we had feelings for each other, we cuddled on the sofa and we talked all night. The cuddling came from us both being drunk, but anyway, when the night came to an end I payed her cab and we kissed. She kept saying that night that she couldn't let it go further though, because she just wouldn't be able to do that to her sort of was best-friend. I really do like this girl, I've never been this happy in a long time, I don't want this to not work, is there anything I can do to get out of this situation? Or am I fucked.

[Zinayzen]

That was confusing. Also, it's the fine arts college of my university, I don't really go there much, just for one class. So I'm not automatically crazy.

...of course, that could also apply to her. Damn. Guess I'll have to ask now. :<

[Seith]

[QUOTE='[CWG]RustySpannerz;34152304']I feel like I'm in the same position as AmericanInfantry now, but tomorrow I'm going to go and talk to a girl, and try to ask her out on a walk.

Hopefully I'll do it, I've had butterflies in my stomach all evening, but I'll be confident when it comes to talking to her. I pussied out before Christmas, but I'm going to do it now.

Wish me luck![/QUOTE]

That's an approach winners have.

[editline]11th January 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=ShadowSocks8;34152422]I need to vent badly so here goes.

I am tired of people.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-social. I'm good looking, outgoing, most people tell me I'm funny, the whole shebang. But, people just piss me off. People can't take jokes. People can't stop being so dramatic about everything. People don't have any sense of loyalty and respect. I can not name one person who I consider a true friend, as all my "friends" have at one point seriously betrayed me and I know deep down that they would without a doubt do so again. I'm a loyal friend, I keep secrets, I don't hold shit against people. But I guess that makes me weak in their eyes, as they manipulate that to take advantage of me by doing what I don't consider myself mean enough to do.

That's how I got where I am.

No one respects me, everyone condescends to me. I act goofy around people I like because it makes us laugh, but apparently years of doing that has actually convinced everyone around me that I am an idiot. No one takes me seriously. I can't confide in anyone anymore as they would reveal to others my secrets. Try as I might to gain respect from even one person, I can't.

It's killing me on the inside, slowly. They use me as a scapegoat when shit goes wrong. They barrage me with insults I don't deserve. The only reason I'm still around these people is because they're all I have. There are no more people to become friends with. I'm on my own. "Make new friends" is frankly not an option.

One part of me legitimately wants to make amends with these people, but the other half, the more logical one, tells me that people are people and I should just seclude myself from them. It honestly wouldn't be that bad. I got accepted to the colleges I want to go to and I only have a little more than half of senior year to get through.

I don't know what to do.[/QUOTE]

It's good you got to where you did. You now get a new perspective on life and the ability to choose.

"We are all here for some special reason. Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future." -I love repeating myself.

I don't think it's the fact you make people laugh and act like a goof. I am a goofy most of the time, like, all the time actually. But, the difference is that I allow people to respect me as I have the uttermost respect for my actions. Even if Obama was goofy, do you think people would not respect him? He believes in himself and what he does, so no one is able to shake his confidence. It's about how you feel about yourself that allows others to feel the same. You're in charge of your life.

I am too tired to give a detailed comment as I usually do, hopefully you'll find your path;)

[Jo The Shmo]

im staying home sick today
I give up, I'll ask her out when I get a chance, but I'm not going to worry about getting that chance anytime soon

[JenkinsJ]

So that girl who's going to Australia that nothing could happen with came over for dinner the other day and had a really fun time. Now I feel really quite shit because I know she's leaving in a few days. My better side was saying I should leave it all alone when I posted about it here but I couldn't leave it alone. And the mate of mine who I usually talk through this stuff with who makes me feel better is busy all week.

Wah.

</self pity>

[Seith]

[QUOTE=JenkinsJ;34164841]So that girl who's going to Australia that nothing could happen with came over for dinner the other day and had a really fun time. Now I feel really quite shit because I know she's leaving in a few days. My better side was saying I should leave it all alone when I posted about it here but I couldn't leave it alone. And the mate of mine who I usually talk through this stuff with who makes me feel better is busy all week.

Wah.

</self pity>[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry, but this upcoming quote describes perfectly what I want to say without me being verbose;

"Every second you spend thinking about what you don't want in your life is a second denying focus and energy from getting what you do want. Every minute you worry about what's not working is a minute drawn away from creating what will work. And every hour spent reflecting on the disappointments of the past is an hour stolen from seeing the possibilities that your future holds."

You got 2 options, tell her what you want from her or leave it be. You got 3 actually, but meh..