The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v2 - General

[QUOTE=killerteacup;34190879]Surely one does not need tools to manage situations with women[/QUOTE] Sounds like you'd like some tools to be handed to you.

[QUOTE=Seith;34191624]Sounds like you'd like some tools to be handed to you.[/QUOTE] No, that's not how it sounds

[QUOTE=Cheesemonkey;34188550]#1 rule of people, people don't act in a logical manner at all [editline]13th January 2012[/editline] i'm just realizing now that i just want high school to end so i can just talk to people who aren't fucking boring. i know it's a common and pretentious thing to say but i'm tired of small talking to the same people about shit that doesn't matter because they never talk about anything or know about anything and just float through life girls are the worst at being fucking boring. especially the ones who obsess over harry potter/twilight and are for some reason accepted even though they are clearly as retarded as any other spergs but can just bathe themselves regularly[/QUOTE] you're still in HS? I had the same thing, last year of sixth form I was just plain sick of school, felt like I was too old for it, sick of the people I saw every fucking goddamn day, wanted to get on to university fast as possible to meet new people and have new experiences now I'm at uni and things are drastically improved.

[QUOTE=SaWAH;34190403]i'm posting this here because it's the only place on facepunch where you can sort of "unburden" yourself for a minute or too and i guess it does sort of affect my social life but for a couple of months my head has been messing with me in a mean way. i'm so confused about everything and have a hard time grasping what is real and what not - it's not that i can't tell the difference deep down my mind just plays some weird trick on me it keeps making up stuff - like false memories. it'll begin as an image in my head or a single little thought. that thought will grow and grow way out of control and in the end it's so bad that i can't say for sure that i didn't know it happened - all i know is i remember the thought developing but for all i know it could be a long lost memory coming back i can't say to myself "i know i'm making this stuff up" all i can say is "i think i'm making this up in my head, but what if?" anyone had something similar or something?[/QUOTE] I [i]think[/i] schizophrenia is when you can't distinguish between what's real and what isn't anymore - that's why a lot of people who have will have illusions of grandeur and think they're Jesus and stuff. A lot of people mistake it for that one where you have multiple personalities but that's a different thing. Anyway I'm not a doctor or anything and I don't think you'd have schizophrenia but maybe you could go and see a doctor just in case? See if there's someone they can refer you to to give you a quick check to make sure there isn't anything wrong with you. It's probably just a little quirk or something.

[QUOTE=SaWAH;34190403]i'm posting this here because it's the only place on facepunch where you can sort of "unburden" yourself for a minute or too and i guess it does sort of affect my social life but for a couple of months my head has been messing with me in a mean way. i'm so confused about everything and have a hard time grasping what is real and what not - it's not that i can't tell the difference deep down my mind just plays some weird trick on me it keeps making up stuff - like false memories. it'll begin as an image in my head or a single little thought. that thought will grow and grow way out of control and in the end it's so bad that i can't say for sure that i didn't know it happened - all i know is i remember the thought developing but for all i know it could be a long lost memory coming back i can't say to myself "i know i'm making this stuff up" all i can say is "i think i'm making this up in my head, but what if?" anyone had something similar or something?[/QUOTE] That totally describes schizophrenia. Ok don't panic. It's not like your going to star killing people. True thing is it's not an uncommon problem in society, specially in people who live in cities or lead stressful lifes. Your case appears to be a minor case or maybe that's just a phase. But hey, doesn't hurt to visit a psychiatrist . Don't give too much credit to it, it can be auto-suggestion too or some sleep disorder like (lack of sleep, etc etc...) Just don't worry. Even in the worst case scenario it's nothing that can't be cured or controlled.

So Australia girl just invited me out to dinner. Not like dinner dinner, like two friends meeting up for dinner I think. So that's good stuff. Don't wanna get ahead of myself mind.

finally asked her out, and [i]shes[/i] getting sick now, but she still said yes!

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34194217]finally asked her out, and [i]shes[/i] getting sick now, but she still said yes![/QUOTE] 1.46 [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YfX_ubhVK8[/media]

I wish I had a relationship like some mentioned in this thread, my last one was a fucking disaster. I have no interest in anyone in my school either, just going to wait till uni.

[QUOTE=Astronaut491;34194722]I wish I had a relationship like some mentioned in this thread, my last one was a fucking disaster.[/QUOTE] eh it's not that big of a deal. it just means i have to share my chips.

[QUOTE=Turnips5;34191669]you're still in HS? I had the same thing, last year of sixth form I was just plain sick of school, felt like I was too old for it, sick of the people I saw every fucking goddamn day, wanted to get on to university fast as possible to meet new people and have new experiences now I'm at uni and things are drastically improved.[/QUOTE] I feel exactly the same, last year of HS; cannot wait for uni in September.

learn to deal with it. you obviously see what you are feeling and behaving right now does not benefit you. change it. if some people can have fun at hs, then you sure as hell can as well.

I don't know how to talk to people. When people are around me all that happens is an awkward silence. How do I learn to talk to people?

[QUOTE=DeadKiller987;34195189]I don't know how to talk to people. When people are around me all that happens is an awkward silence. How do I learn to talk to people?[/QUOTE] Find something to talk about. That's about it really, if you have nothing to actually talk about you're buggered.

[QUOTE=AmericanInfantry;34169634]I feel like a total dumbass for saying that I feel a little (meaning a lot) jealous when people here say they got a girl and when I see couples in school. Makes me feel even more inadequate.[/QUOTE] You realize that I was single until I was 17? The first girl I dated was not only kind of gross, but she only wanted to have me in her prom photos. Anyway, High School ended and I started dating a lot after that. It got a lot easier to deal with my insecurity after the first girl, but really, I should have been able to realize I was a pretty cool guy before I dated at all. Frankly, I was just a pussy. [QUOTE=aliendrone123;34172546]I used to be like that. Then I read this thread :v: [editline]12th January 2012[/editline] I feel like coming outta the closet was a huge mistake. seriously. It's not like people here are homophobic at all or anything, hell I live in a very liberal part of NY, but it's just my close group of friends... Ever since I told them last spring I feel as though their seeing me as a different person. They're still being good friends and all, fuck we're a close knit group if I've ever seen one, but it just seems like those strings got a bit loose. I dunno. I can't put it into words, it just feels..... Off.[/QUOTE] Maybe you're the one who changed? I mean you've always been gay, but have you maybe let more of that get through to the group when you wouldn't have done that before? If everything is as you make it sound, I doubt they have a problem with you being gay. [QUOTE=JenkinsJ;34175182]There's nothing wrong with being nice as long as you don't let it stop you from looking out for your own interests every once in a while. And you have to make sure you're one of them people that chooses to be nice because that's how you think people [I]should[/I] be and not nice just because you don't know how to be nasty. Lemme give you an example. There's loads of guys I know who will talk to a girl all the time, being all nice, saying they like her interests and stuff, being a bit of a pushover like how Autumn described and things like that. These will be the kind of guys that will jump to a certain girls aid every time she's got a bit of a problem. And then they get all upset when she doesn't go out with them, even though they were 'so nice!'. Then these guys almost invariably say something along the lines of 'girls don't go for nice guys!', which is bullshit. Girls don't go for THOSE guys. And with good reason, they're fucking snakes, and nearly all of them don't have a story to tell or an interesting thing to talk about. They're usually sanctimonious and disguise the fact they're jealous of what you can get by saying 'Well I don't fuck WHORES anyway!', and then they'll go and meditate or something, because they're so much better than you. Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who's obviously trying to impress you? Those of you who have will know what it's like to be the other side of this, it's weird and awkward. So yeah just don't be one of them, there's nothing wrong with being nice though.[/QUOTE] Nice example. I should write up a proper thing on this at somepoint... I learned how much of a bitch I was the hardway. Some of my old friends are still like this and call me a manwhore because I don't bend to a woman's every beck and call. Chivalry isn't dead, it's just different now. Woman are empowered in today's society: we shouldn't be ahead or behind them, but beside them. I have a lot more to say about this stuff and it deserves a proper write-up. [QUOTE=Pascall;34181478]Yeah that makes sense. I mean I have my bits of low self-esteem, but that's usually because I'm hard on myself when I screw up. But getting rejected has never really been affiliated with me screwing up in my mind. Just always meant that me and the other person weren't compatible. It's a weird way of thinking I guess since I haven't really met too many people who share that ideal[/QUOTE] Thisispain covered part of the problem, but I think the other part is people getting too hooked to one person. "Plenty of fish in the sea", though a stupid meme, is true... but they don't know that. All they know is "OMG THE GIRL I LOVE MIGHT SAY NO, I BETTER STAY IN THE FRIEND-ZONE FOREVER". People also don't understand that asking people out, dating, and being in a relationship are all totally separate steps, and each has different skills and things you need to learn. You aren't just instantly good at it... takes time and effort to make it all work. Compared to the work involved in maintaining a relationship, asking people out is the easy part. [QUOTE=Octyl;34189124]Was at a movie with some friends tonight... In front of us was a couple who seemed to be on a first date. They barely talked, held hands for all of 30 seconds... And at the end of the movie, he stood up first, offered his hand to her in a "here, take my hand, I'll help you through the swarm of people" way, and she stared at it. For five seconds. And then.... She high fived him and walked pretty far in front. Feels bad, man.[/QUOTE] It's sort of like the pain you feel in your balls when you see another man get kicked in the junk... you know they're not going on a second date. [QUOTE=thisispain;34194759]eh it's not that big of a deal. it just means i have to share my chips.[/QUOTE] Whenever I get something with the gf around, I make sure to bring a little extra because she will inevitably eat some of it, even if she says she doesn't want any. I call this the "Girlfriend Tax".

Some serious shit goes down in this thread, so i thought i'd share one of my own problems. I'm 25 years old. I've only had two boyfriends in my life. One of which was in my Teenage years and the other was after i was at my Cousin's party. I got drunk and the like. What do i do? I'm befriended by loads of guys but none of them are appealing. Facepunch, i'm asking for some help here. And to Octyl's post, poor guy. I really feel sorry for him. The girl was either questioning them dating or just didn't like the idea in the first place. Either way, the "High Five instead of Hold Hand" scenario seems really hurtful.

[QUOTE=nimaratu;34196374]Some serious shit goes down in this thread, so i thought i'd share one of my own problems. I'm 25 years old. I've only had two boyfriends in my life. One of which was in my Teenage years and the other was after i was at my Cousin's party. I got drunk and the like. What do i do? I'm befriended by loads of guys but none of them are appealing. Facepunch, i'm asking for some help here. And to Octyl's post, poor guy. I really feel sorry for him. The girl was either questioning them dating or just didn't like the idea in the first place. Either way, the "High Five instead of Hold Hand" scenario seems really hurtful.[/QUOTE] From what you've said it seems like you don't really have any issues, you can talk and befriend people but just haven't found anybody that you want to go further with. Nothing wrong with that, if you want a relationship just keep widening the amount of people you know.

It's a problem because i'm not getting younger. I'm just scared i won't find someone. It sucks seeing my friends get Married - And then try to hurry me into finding someone.

[QUOTE=nimaratu;34196889]It's a problem because i'm not getting younger. I'm just scared i won't find someone. It sucks seeing my friends get Married - And then try to hurry me into finding someone.[/QUOTE] Yeh I know what you mean, I've got a mortgage now and one of the people I was "involved" with lately had kids from another relationship. It does seem to get harder to find people when you get older. Makes me wonder if Internet dating is such a bad thing, although it does seem kind of desperate "last ditch" chance type of thing.

[QUOTE=nimaratu;34196889]It's a problem because i'm not getting younger. I'm just scared i won't find someone. It sucks seeing my friends get Married - And then try to hurry me into finding someone.[/QUOTE] You can try dating younger guys than you too. They won't be necessarily immature. You also need to meet new people. Unis, conventions, sports, going out at night, travelling... you name it. People are everywhere and sometimes we're so accommodated with the same familiar faces that we sometimes miss people that are interesting too. Just don't focus yourself on that issue otherwise it will consume you. Just try to get around it, find a way out. It's not that hard and you're still 25 so take your time.

"Still in need of grad date. Desperate. Contact ASAP! Must be a girl..." That's someones facebook status. Dunno if that's one of the more clever facebook... "hacks" I've seen, or just a person I feel sorry for...

[QUOTE=nimaratu;34196889]It's a problem because i'm not getting younger. I'm just scared i won't find someone. It sucks seeing my friends get Married - And then try to hurry me into finding someone.[/QUOTE] Ask your friends if they know any interesting guys that are single, and just go to places and talk to people. You're bound to find someone nice eventually.

[QUOTE=nimaratu;34196889]It's a problem because i'm not getting younger. I'm just scared i won't find someone. It sucks seeing my friends get Married - And then try to hurry me into finding someone.[/QUOTE] Just don't become a reclusive cat lady and you'll find someone. I'm not sure if you're employed or not, but workplace relationships might be an option if there is anyone you can see yourself dating there. Also on the note of being single and getting older, my girlfriend of about 4 months decided to split because "You [I] can never commit enough time to me [her]." And then there was about 10 minutes more of blaming me while I stood awkwardly by taking the insults and then parting ways. This marking the end of my sixth relationship. In a way I'm glad she broke up with me early on for this reason. I was with her almost every single day until I had a month off from work and college, and went to visit family. If she wanted me to dedicate more hours than I had, it wouldn't have worked out anyways.

[QUOTE=SaWAH;34190403]i'm posting this here because it's the only place on facepunch where you can sort of "unburden" yourself for a minute or too and i guess it does sort of affect my social life but for a couple of months my head has been messing with me in a mean way. i'm so confused about everything and have a hard time grasping what is real and what not - it's not that i can't tell the difference deep down my mind just plays some weird trick on me it keeps making up stuff - like false memories. it'll begin as an image in my head or a single little thought. that thought will grow and grow way out of control and in the end it's so bad that i can't say for sure that i didn't know it happened - all i know is i remember the thought developing but for all i know it could be a long lost memory coming back i can't say to myself "i know i'm making this stuff up" all i can say is "i think i'm making this up in my head, but what if?" anyone had something similar or something?[/QUOTE] I had sexual relations with a girl who had schizophrenia and described it to me exactly as you have. She kept going on about how 'nothing is real, everything is a test' and I'd be like 'Okay.' Weird, stuff. If it worsens you should get help.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;34190879]Surely one does not need tools to manage situations with women[/QUOTE] You do! They can't run away if they have no legs!

Hi.

[QUOTE=Turnips5;34191669]you're still in HS? I had the same thing, last year of sixth form I was just plain sick of school, felt like I was too old for it, sick of the people I saw every fucking goddamn day, wanted to get on to university fast as possible to meet new people and have new experiences now I'm at uni and things are drastically improved.[/QUOTE] yeah i know things will improve but goddamn are people in high school awful i really don't like how the entire culture of high school is just drugs and alcohol and breaking the law. there's so much pressure to get dangerously drunk and get so high you are unable to function and then get caught by the police (all at the same time) that going out partying is honestly just russian roulette and that is all people will admit to doing over the weekend in fear of looking lame. you can circumvent the lameness by claiming you did any of the three, that too. i'm fine with breaking the law fuck the police etc but holy shit why do you keep having parties at the same house and go to the same spot to get arrested multiple times aaaaa [editline]14th January 2012[/editline] ok im just venting w/e

[QUOTE=Cheesemonkey;34204950]yeah i know things will improve but goddamn are people in high school awful i really don't like how the entire culture of high school is just drugs and alcohol and breaking the law. there's so much pressure to get dangerously drunk and get so high you are unable to function and then get caught by the police (all at the same time) that going out partying is honestly just russian roulette and that is all people will admit to doing over the weekend in fear of looking lame. you can circumvent the lameness by claiming you did any of the three, that too. i'm fine with breaking the law fuck the police etc but holy shit why do you keep having parties at the same house and go to the same spot to get arrested multiple times aaaaa [editline]14th January 2012[/editline] ok im just venting w/e[/QUOTE] Nerd.

yeah it sounds dumb looking back on it but let me just say every Monday peple literally check the mugshot website for people who got busted over the weeken

There's a mugshot website?