The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v2 - General

[QUOTE=Seith;34216170]wohoh buddy, ease up. First sign of trouble is when you start giving out excuses for her (i.e takes long to reply) Breathe, and make sure you actively push the subject away from your mind. At situations like this, that's the best solution. Now, don't do anything. Don't ask her about it again. Next time? don't ask over facebook, only via cellphone (not txt). Even if you did scare her off, let it drift away. Living is moving, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.[/QUOTE] Thanks Seith, im not making a long time to reply an excuse its just that she has some times. plus i dont have her number.

LA.. I have a situation :( [editline]14th January 2012[/editline] Situation: Age: 19 Current Relationship: 13 months Current Prospects: Not Good Issue: I've been dating my current girlfriend for 13 months now, so over a year. I think it's fair to say that I've had ample time to determine whether I can really see us going anywhere. I mean, she's great and all, and I've had a lot of fun with her. However, I feel like we have been going through these circles for the past like 9 months. It goes like this (and hell if I can figure out why) - everything is fine > argument over something really stupid > pissed at one another > repeat. It happens usually every two weeks. We go through this process. I can't tell you how many hours we've wasted arguing over dumb shit. Also, being only 19, and this being my first "real" relationship, I still kind of want to explore the realm a bit before I pick one person. My grandma did that with my grandpa and she regrets it and wishes she had lived her life a bit before she started a life with him. I concur. Anyways, I guess my predicament is that my girlfriend is always trying to fix the issues in the relaitonship and says what she's doing wrong and how she'll fix them. I don't think it's anything that can be fixed, I think I've just started to lose interest and I feel absolutely terrible about it. I also just don't have the heart to break up. There are times where I enjoy being with her, but it's starting to seem like we're just friends who have sex now. The romance is all kinda gone. She really hasn't done anything wrong, and it's just hard to break up after investing so much. It's painful to see her upset because I still care about her. Should I wait until our next argument? It'll probably be here in a week or two at max. Also, how do I go about doing this?

You should talk to her about it and tell her how you feel, pretty much just tell her most of what you typed

[QUOTE=Turnips5;34212421]why's that?[/QUOTE] It seems like the friendliest thread on Facepunch, and everyone is so accepting of each other.

[QUOTE=FOOJE08;34217412]It seems like the friendliest thread on Facepunch, and everyone is so accepting of each other.[/QUOTE] As long as someone isn't blatantly stupid, then I agree with this post.

[QUOTE=phobia-_-;34216769]You should talk to her about it and tell her how you feel, pretty much just tell her most of what you typed[/QUOTE]

JUST HAD MY FIRST DATE IN OVER A YEAR. Thought this would be the best place to throw that out.

To anyone out there who reads the advice on these threads, thinks "alright, starting tomorrow I'm gonna start being x and stop being so y", and then falls right back into their old selves, I have something to tell you. That method, the "reinventing over a break/weekend/night" method, will never work. Now, you may be thinking "Great I'm stuck as a neckbeard schmuck for my entire life." No, you're not. You see, I used to be just like you. Good looking, maybe even above-average, but shy, socially awkward, not many friends, bad with girls, friend-zoned multiple times, you know the story. I tried to change by telling myself "Okay, starting now, I'm going to be different." It didn't work. What did work, was a slow, patient change. I worked on better hygiene, changed shampoos/body wash/deodorant. I changed hairstyles and started doing pushups every morning. I started to try talking to people I had never talked to before, and made a few unexpected friends. That was 3 months ago. Now, I'm glad to say I was successful. It took a while, and even now I'm not quite done(I really need to learn to stop talking so much). Pretty much what I'm saying is, if you want to change, change. That's the beauty of being human.

I already like who I am as a person, maybe I can bump my talking to random people skills, but I think I'm pretty good at smalltalk anyways. However, I'm going to take up your advice as far as the pushups / crunches after the shower. My physical appearance hasn't been up to par.

[QUOTE=CheeserCrice;34212245]send this to him. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHOf3s70w-c[/media] [/QUOTE] Holy shit man, I love the streets! Didn't know anyone else listens to him.

[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;34219433]I already like who I am as a person, maybe I can bump my talking to random people skills, but I think I'm pretty good at smalltalk anyways. However, I'm going to take up your advice as far as the pushups / crunches after the shower. My physical appearance hasn't been up to par.[/QUOTE] I suck at random small talk. I wish I could master this skill.

Whenever I talk to anyone and I'm nervous, I mumble like shit and talk super fucking fast. I just was trying to talk to someone the other day and they had to say "What?" every other sentence to just understand me. Fuck.

For those who are bad at small talk, I stumbled across this the other day, and while he seems to talk a lot of bullshit, he makes a few interesting points. [url]http://makesmalltalksexy.com/blog/wp-content/small-talk-report.pdf[/url]

[QUOTE='[CWG]RustySpannerz;34221104']For those who are bad at small talk, I stumbled across this the other day, and while he seems to talk a lot of bullshit, he makes a few interesting points. [url]http://makesmalltalksexy.com/blog/wp-content/small-talk-report.pdf[/url][/QUOTE] Yeah, he fucks up the tone and seems more like another wannabe playboy writer. Does make a good point about being a person rather than an interest. Also big point about smalltalk not so much being about the topic but how it is done. I remember that easy pick up video where he just talked about vegetables and shit, perfect example.

If you put enough passion and energy into a topic you're talking about, the person you are talking to is more likely to listen and take interest.

So dinner with Australia girl went pretty ok. Well not really, there was no affection there. Anyway we went back to hers and watched a film afterwards and carried on drinking and then I got a taxi home after nothing happening. Which was a bit disappointing, but also obvious. Eurrrrrghhhh. So there, that happened. Then I came home and carried on drinking with my housemates. Anyway I said to her online (yeah yeah yeah, I [i]know[/i] this is going to sound ridiculous, don't start. I was drunk remember) that a bit of me thought I should have kissed her. She sort of just said "I know" and said something about it being difficult right now (which is obvious) but I was really looking for her to return the sentiment which she didn't do, so I didn't push it and stayed up until 5am getting fucked up with my housemates. Anyway since then I've been sort of drinking a lot and smoking a lot and now everything smells of smoke and I feel a bit useless. I wanna go and find something to do instead of either of those two things, and I know I should be studying for uni exams I have starting tomorrow - but I really have the motivation for [i]nothing[/i] except self pity. You know when you get in one of them moods? It's like that. Rant over now.

Hey guys, my friend Natalie introduced me to someone called Charlie. He's pretty sweet and he doesn't look half bad either. I'll see where this goes! I might not be spending Valentines alone this year. :dance:

A friend of mine tells me that girls won't want to go out with me in college because I'm a virgin and never had a girlfriend before. It's like he's saying that by the time you graduate college, you have to have had sex and a girlfriend or else I'll be forever alone. Why do I listen to him.

Isn't the age of consent over there about the same as the age you go to college? It's normal to be a virgin at 16/17/18 isn't it?

I don't think it matters. They just want me to get laid. Or else there's a 150% chance I'll be a virgin forever.

I was at a party at my school yesterday, and I asked a girl out near the end. We had never had a conversation before, and she had no real idea of my existence, as I have only started at this school 2 weeks ago. I walked up to her and we had a nice little one-on-one for maybe 5-10 minutes. We have quite a bit of mutual friends, who will definitely speak good of me if she would happen to ask them about me, and that also put her at ease around me when we talked. As we were leaving the party, I asked her out to the cinema. She said she'd like to reply once she wasn't so drunk. My problem now is, I don't know how she can reply to me. We're not friends on Facebook, don't have each others numbers, and don't go to same class. I could feel she had no big interest in this, so I'm afraid that if i simply add her over Facebook, she'll give me a no, and i don't expect her to make much effort meeting me at school, so i have to do something myself, but what? Would it be a good idea to pull her aside as she enters school and charm her a little more, or?

just add her on facebook and have a chat ~be casual~

[QUOTE=AmericanInfantry;34222937]A friend of mine tells me that girls won't want to go out with me in college because I'm a virgin and never had a girlfriend before. It's like he's saying that by the time you graduate college, you have to have had sex and a girlfriend or else I'll be forever alone. Why do I listen to him.[/QUOTE] I've never heard of a girl turning a dude down because he's a virgin/never had a girlfriend before.

[QUOTE='[CWG]RustySpannerz;34221104']For those who are bad at small talk, I stumbled across this the other day, and while he seems to talk a lot of bullshit, he makes a few interesting points. [url]http://makesmalltalksexy.com/blog/wp-content/small-talk-report.pdf[/url][/QUOTE] [QUOTE]So for instance, if a girl has gotten too comfortable with you and she begins going into a long rant about how much she hates her job… Stop her and say: “If we keep talking about this I’m going to charge you 200$ an hour for therapy. Do you have your credit card with you?” By doing that you've broken rapport for a minute and thrown some suspense back into the conversation… and you've snapped her "he's such a nice guy…" thoughts in half. [/QUOTE] And now instead of being seen as a nice guy, you are seen as a dick! Lots of shitty advice in that thing.

So I already asked her out in person for a first date, went swell. Is asking for a second one over text a legit thing to do? We don't go to the same school or anything so seeing her around is unlikely.

go ahead, it's not as big of a deal as you think it is

[QUOTE=AmericanInfantry;34222937]A friend of mine tells me that girls won't want to go out with me in college because I'm a virgin and never had a girlfriend before. It's like he's saying that by the time you graduate college, you have to have had sex and a girlfriend or else I'll be forever alone. Why do I listen to him.[/QUOTE] i need to prescribe you this advice because you seem to ignore it every single time shut the fuck up go to a gym go to a few parties you come in here almost bragging that you're a virgin and never had a girlfriend for this pity it's so fucking annoying [QUOTE=TheDKer;34223174]I was at a party at my school yesterday, and I asked a girl out near the end. We had never had a conversation before, and she had no real idea of my existence, as I have only started at this school 2 weeks ago. I walked up to her and we had a nice little one-on-one for maybe 5-10 minutes. We have quite a bit of mutual friends, who will definitely speak good of me if she would happen to ask them about me, and that also put her at ease around me when we talked. As we were leaving the party, I asked her out to the cinema. She said she'd like to reply once she wasn't so drunk. My problem now is, I don't know how she can reply to me. We're not friends on Facebook, don't have each others numbers, and don't go to same class. I could feel she had no big interest in this, so I'm afraid that if i simply add her over Facebook, she'll give me a no, and i don't expect her to make much effort meeting me at school, so i have to do something myself, but what? Would it be a good idea to pull her aside as she enters school and charm her a little more, or?[/QUOTE] and holy shit this guy went to a party and can possibly have a girlfriend???? werid right!!! but i suppose you're above ~drinking~ because all of those people are just useless leeches on society and their parents and will accomplish nothing

[QUOTE=hula whoop;34225269]So I already asked her out in person for a first date, went swell. Is asking for a second one over text a legit thing to do? We don't go to the same school or anything so seeing her around is unlikely.[/QUOTE] As long as you don't go to her house and ask her out like they do in the movies you should be fine with just about anything.

[QUOTE=FPKawaii;34226753]As long as you don't go to her house and ask her out like they do in the movies you should be fine with just about anything.[/QUOTE] I don't even know where she lives haha but alright, I'll just text her then.

[QUOTE=JenkinsJ;34222239]So dinner with Australia girl went pretty ok. Well not really, there was no affection there. Anyway we went back to hers and watched a film afterwards and carried on drinking and then I got a taxi home after nothing happening. Which was a bit disappointing, but also obvious. Eurrrrrghhhh. So there, that happened. Then I came home and carried on drinking with my housemates. Anyway I said to her online (yeah yeah yeah, I [i]know[/i] this is going to sound ridiculous, don't start. I was drunk remember) that a bit of me thought I should have kissed her. She sort of just said "I know" and said something about it being difficult right now (which is obvious) but I was really looking for her to return the sentiment which she didn't do, so I didn't push it and stayed up until 5am getting fucked up with my housemates. Anyway since then I've been sort of drinking a lot and smoking a lot and now everything smells of smoke and I feel a bit useless. I wanna go and find something to do instead of either of those two things, and I know I should be studying for uni exams I have starting tomorrow - but I really have the motivation for [i]nothing[/i] except self pity. You know when you get in one of them moods? It's like that. Rant over now.[/QUOTE] Rise above the fact you made a "costly" mistake and simply understand, it was a mistake worth doing and learning from. A very good one actually. How so? 1. It's pretty obvious you expected affection from her, when you should have just grabbed it. According to modern women today, they EXPECT the man to act - they expect him to take over. Next time, just like you want any other thing in life, go and fucking grab it. 2.She obviously knows you like her, as you seem to pronounce it a lot in your behaviour according to your text. Women don't like needy men which right now, you are being one. Exactly the same with guys- they don't want women pathetically throwing themselves at their feet begging for intercourse - same with women. [editline]15th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=AmericanInfantry;34222937]A friend of mine tells me that girls won't want to go out with me in college because I'm a virgin and never had a girlfriend before. It's like he's saying that by the time you graduate college, you have to have had sex and a girlfriend or else I'll be forever alone. Why do I listen to him.[/QUOTE] It's what you project that effects what women think of you. Also, there might be truth in it - if you act like a virgin... [editline]15th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=TheDKer;34223174]I was at a party at my school yesterday, and I asked a girl out near the end. We had never had a conversation before, and she had no real idea of my existence, as I have only started at this school 2 weeks ago. I walked up to her and we had a nice little one-on-one for maybe 5-10 minutes. We have quite a bit of mutual friends, who will definitely speak good of me if she would happen to ask them about me, and that also put her at ease around me when we talked. As we were leaving the party, I asked her out to the cinema. She said she'd like to reply once she wasn't so drunk. My problem now is, I don't know how she can reply to me. We're not friends on Facebook, don't have each others numbers, and don't go to same class. I could feel she had no big interest in this, so I'm afraid that if i simply add her over Facebook, she'll give me a no, and i don't expect her to make much effort meeting me at school, so i have to do something myself, but what? Would it be a good idea to pull her aside as she enters school and charm her a little more, or?[/QUOTE] NO CHATS ON FREAKING FACEBOOK. Charm her, go up to her. Don't mention that she hasn't replied about your proposal. Be casual, act as if you don't care and do this everyday. Build more attraction. Be a man :) [editline]15th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=hula whoop;34225269]So I already asked her out in person for a first date, went swell. Is asking for a second one over text a legit thing to do? We don't go to the same school or anything so seeing her around is unlikely.[/QUOTE] Call her. No txts.