The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v2 - General

Ugh, fuck relationships. I hate making hard choices.

[QUOTE=Dark_Light;34317349]'there's plenty more fish out there'[/quote] This is so true. Up till the point where you actually go fishing and realize that you either suck or there are not really that many fish.

I just asked my boss if I could have a day off tomorrow because for some reason I'm feeling massively depressed (note though, I don't suffer from depression) and I just feel like I wouldn't be able to handle work tomorrow. Does this seem like too weird of a request to anyone? My first instinct was to lie, tell him I'm sick, but I just told him flatout.

it's probably the weather winter has a thing for making people feel like crap don't worry about it (but don't do it too often)

[QUOTE=Contag;34315728]fuck that be even more jaded because you don't live in the stupid pink flowers and unicorn world that she lives in start drinking and smoking heavily and became a marxist for a while as you develop your journalism career ultimately die of cancer and you're all set[/QUOTE] Does it have to be journalism? Seems like too bright of a future. I was going for the masters in philosophy and be a huge skeptic and question and critique every fucking thing I see. Like the real Descartes

[QUOTE=Mon;34319593]it's probably the weather winter has a thing for making people feel like crap don't worry about it (but don't do it too often)[/QUOTE] No it's not the weather.. It's a whole mess of things. But the last time I asked off was in the early fall so hopefully it won't be too soon. Unfortunately, I think he's asleep, which means he won't get my message until tomorrow which means he has less time to find a cover, which means he's less likely to find someone to replace me and I'll end up having to come in anyway.

[QUOTE=1chains1;34318192]I was going to make a dirty handcuff joke but I don't want to offend Jo the Shmo and his righteous innocence. HE IS THE LAST BEACON OF HOPE IN THIS VIOLENTLY OBSESSED SOCIETY I HAVE FALLEN VICTIM TO![/QUOTE] i was just saying you seemed like a chill dude to hang out with!! i have no idea where this personal attack is coming from!

[QUOTE=Pascall;34319510] Does this seem like too weird of a request to anyone? [/QUOTE] pff no. massive depression is far worse than a cold or something.

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34319781]i was just saying you seemed like a chill dude to hang out with!! i have no idea where this personal attack is coming from![/QUOTE] I was complimenting your innocence! Youre as important to me as those virgin Mary candles are important to my Hispanic cousins!

[QUOTE=Pascall;34319510]I just asked my boss if I could have a day off tomorrow because for some reason I'm feeling massively depressed (note though, I don't suffer from depression) and I just feel like I wouldn't be able to handle work tomorrow. Does this seem like too weird of a request to anyone? My first instinct was to lie, tell him I'm sick, but I just told him flatout.[/QUOTE]It depends on how much the boss trusts you. Some bosses could think it's a bullshit excuse, but others could understand

[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;34315150]Predicament, I like this girl at work and she told one of my work buddies that she thinks I'm an asshole. :( I'm pretty damn sarcastic and maybe she doesn't fully comprehend my sarcasm and takes it offensively. Anyways, I was asking a friend for her number so I could text her and ask her and him to go out to lunch after class sometime in the next week or two. He happened to be with her and asked if it was cool if he gave me her number. She said, "No! He's an asshole!" I honestly don't know what I did. She's really nice, funny, and extraordinarily cute and I thought we were on good standings. Anyways, I'm not going to bother pondering over what I did, but I would like to someday try and go on a date with this girl. I guess, what's the best way to set things straight? Just start being a bit more polite, less sarcastic and a tad more caring? It's not that I'm not any of those things or that I'd have to change one bit. I just tend to take on a different discourse at work. The customers tend to like it when I'm snappy and sarcastic with them instead of being super nice, ironically.[/QUOTE] Most of the time love / hate feelings are essential when interacting with girls. Feelings towards you, either in a negative or positive way, it's all the same. If a girl, developed feelings, as I've said, good or bad, that means you are on the right path. Don't change yourself, you shouldn't care. She'll toy with you even more. you could redirect her saying the other way around - you're only an asshole because she lacks confident. But, that depends on how good and stable you feel inside and your general behavioral pattern. Maybe you are an asshole, I don't know. [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Septimas;34317023]Best way to eat a girl out? Tryna to give my girl as many orgasms as i can. Usual sex is making out, move down, warm it up with my hands, go to eating out, slip the dick in when shes wet and cummin and pound like a freight train on a tied up kid[/QUOTE] different with every woman. If you really enjoy it with her, I'm sure you'll learn fast. [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Mon;34316948]okay guys, i need to get my mojo back it's been a shit week, i've been too slow for conversations- pretty much half asleep. everything is just a big groggy haze. i'm always bitchy. all i want to do is sit around and lurk on facepunch. this happens every winter and it sucks. if there's any way to fix this i'd like to know, because it's just ruining my week - among other things. if it helps, most of the negative thoughts have been around a girl - i made a post about that problem a while back: but i've got a feeling that she's unrelated, and that really it's just an issue to feel negative about. i'm really annoyed by this. i want to take my mind off of things and get back to normal but something i can't grasp is preventing this. FACEPUNCH, INVIGORATE ME AND MAKE ME A MAN AGAIN[/QUOTE] Stop thinking about her, keep chasing other skirts. That's like crying over a glass cup you had broken in your past. You can't change it, deal with it. You choose to think about her and your shitty situation, choose otherwise. [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=socks;34317213]im trying to be friends with my ex, we broke up about a year ago we get along pretty well now and all that but i cant help but have feelings for her. i really really want to be friends, but its a huge downer knowing she doesnt feel the same anymore sorry if this sounds stupid, i just have no idea what to do. any advice?[/QUOTE] Don't. Thank you. [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=An Axolotl;34317603]I'm 15 and I haven't been in a relationship yet, am I doing something wrong here. I've always been shy, but most of my friends have a girlfriend. Maybe I'm setting my standards too high. :c[/QUOTE] .... there's no such thing as standards too high, as you can find prettier, smarter women every day you cross the road than your current relationship. It's about how you feel, not what others around you. You're meant to have a relationship when it's comfy for you and how it's comfy for you. [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Pascall;34319510]I just asked my boss if I could have a day off tomorrow because for some reason I'm feeling massively depressed (note though, I don't suffer from depression) and I just feel like I wouldn't be able to handle work tomorrow. Does this seem like too weird of a request to anyone? My first instinct was to lie, tell him I'm sick, but I just told him flatout.[/QUOTE] Why would you text him? I'd say call him, shows responsibility and honesty. Also, you need to set a boundary between your personal life and work. You can't go have a day off everytime you feel like shit. Life won't get any better, but harder, so getting used to constantly allowing yourself to be weak and lettting these "bad" feelings dig in even further, you won't be able to advance anywhere. You'll always be controlled by your emotions rather than logic.

I couldn't call him. It was almost 1 am when I texted him. I wasn't in my room at the time and couldn't be on the phone since I would wake people up. Unfortunately, he got upset that I couldn't call. Anyway, he said he understood but couldn't really get me a proper cover, so I'll most likely go in anyway. Keep in mind though, that I have NEVER asked for work off because of anything other than illness. I'm rarely, if ever, depressed, so when I am, I see it as a very serious thing. I know the difference between work inhibiting things and a day where I just feel like shit. I've gone to work before suffering from my stomach condition, but I worked 7 or 8 hours and got through it. But I've NEVER been depressed on this sort of scale and I feel like work would really just not be the best thing, seeing as I have to constantly be interacting with kids and adults in my line of work, and if they can see that I'm not enjoying being there, they don't have a very good experience. Anyway though, I'm going into work either way, like I said. My boss is nice though. He says he'll let me know still if he can find a proper cover.

[QUOTE=Seith;34290863]This popped out immediately when I read the last paragraph; "I never liked to move on them". To me it looks like you are obviously not confident enough, thus making yourself lose your sex drive. Been there. You reach a certain level of gratification from this new interaction with the woman, and then, when it comes back to sex, this vibe pops up, you don't want to destroy it by the unknown consequences it brings aka bad sex or maybe good sex, or maybe she'll want more, or less. I assume it brings too many questions to your mind that you deny yourself of it as a defense mechanism. You need to dare yourself more and take yourself out of the comfort zone. You will never get rid of this feeling unless you do. [/QUOTE] Never thought I'd have a confidence problem, I used to have a confidence problem back in highschool, but I got over that a while ago after having a couple of girlfriends and realizing that girls in general for some reason find me cute. But I think you might have a point. Next time I meet a girl I like I'll try flirting with her, instead of just flirting with randumb pretty ones. Kind of have another problem, I have this girl who's been a childhood friend for a while now, had been proposed to 3 or 4 times in the last couple of years by rich and famous dudes, declined them all.. Now she declared that she has strong feelings for me and wants to come down to Cali to move in with me and start a life together or something, she's even trying to become close friends with my mom.. however I see her as a friend, albeit very attractive friend (this is she, [url]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/12913216/Screenshots/grill.jpg[/url]). I've always seen her as a friend, but now that she's declared feelings for me, I'm not too sure what to think.. I know how strong her feelings are for me, (I believe she has marriage in her mind), so if we go out and it doesn't work out, this could probably destroy our friendship we've had since childhood and probably my friendship with her brother too. So not sure exactly what to do with this one.

If it's only friendship that you want, then let her know. Obviously not giving her an answer will make her even more upset. A honest answer, in the short term, is pretty painful and might seem to not do any good. But trust me on this, it's much better than lies or not truth at all. [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Pascall;34322264]I couldn't call him. It was almost 1 am when I texted him. I wasn't in my room at the time and couldn't be on the phone since I would wake people up. Unfortunately, he got upset that I couldn't call. Anyway, he said he understood but couldn't really get me a proper cover, so I'll most likely go in anyway. Keep in mind though, that I have NEVER asked for work off because of anything other than illness. I'm rarely, if ever, depressed, so when I am, I see it as a very serious thing. I know the difference between work inhibiting things and a day where I just feel like shit. I've gone to work before suffering from my stomach condition, but I worked 7 or 8 hours and got through it. But I've NEVER been depressed on this sort of scale and I feel like work would really just not be the best thing, seeing as I have to constantly be interacting with kids and adults in my line of work, and if they can see that I'm not enjoying being there, they don't have a very good experience. Anyway though, I'm going into work either way, like I said. My boss is nice though. He says he'll let me know still if he can find a proper cover.[/QUOTE] What you've said still doesn't detract from my main point which is - logic over emotions. Even if it's the first time you've ever experienced it, my point is still valid.

Anyone here tried net-dating services? A friend of mine is constantly pestering me, saying that I should join a net-dating site that he's on. That it will boost my confidence and significantly increase my chance of getting some.

[QUOTE=Seith;34322588]What you've said still doesn't detract from my main point which is - logic over emotions. Even if it's the first time you've ever experienced it, my point is still valid.[/QUOTE] Ha, you should be a motivational speaker with that kind of bullshit. By logic over emotion I'm sure you mean deciding that the way you feel is inconvenient and using your force of will to change it, about as effective as pray away the gay. Your brain is a very complex system and setting up the idea that distinct areas are causing problems so they must be pushed back into line is just absurd.

[QUOTE=Devodiere;34322714]Ha, you should be a motivational speaker with that kind of bullshit. By logic over emotion I'm sure you mean deciding that the way you feel is inconvenient and using your force of will to change it, about as effective as pray away the gay. Your brain is a very complex system and setting up the idea that distinct areas are causing problems so they must be pushed back into line is just absurd.[/QUOTE] Then I am an absurd kind of person. Not sure what you mean by pushed back into line. You mean controlling them? Well, obviously emotions are part of you and they cannot be controlled to an extent where you can deny feeling them. That's not even what I'm saying. What I am saying, is that you need to set them apart from your logical thinking patterns. It's a possible solution for every person on Earth. Just because you choose not to believe it's possible does not make it less true. I am not producing bullshit motivation out of my mouth, but life's experience.

(although there is no way of putting this remotely nicely, and i do not mean any offence) but you've just gotta man up. these things happen. people have bad days, they have really bad days, hell some people have really bad weeks and months. if you take the day off you're just going to be sat at home wallowing in self pity about how depressed you feel, whereas if you go to work it'll give you something to concentrate on other than how you feel. [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Thaard;34322617]Anyone here tried net-dating services? A friend of mine is constantly pestering me, saying that I should join a net-dating site that he's on. That it will boost my confidence and significantly increase my chance of getting some.[/QUOTE] if you're under 25 i think you have far better ways of meeting people than on the internet. you can do better!

[QUOTE=Thaard;34322617]Anyone here tried net-dating services? A friend of mine is constantly pestering me, saying that I should join a net-dating site that he's on. That it will boost my confidence and significantly increase my chance of getting some.[/QUOTE] Are you asking for approval? I give you a clear no then. This is about as helpful for your confidence and sexual activity as getting plastic surgery. Most people, do it to fix insecurities they have on the inside with outside sort of fixes. It's a quick fix, not a true solution or improvement of any sort. You can make a car look beautiful, but if the inside are overused and old, it still won't work any better. The only way to increase your chances dramatically, is going out there, not being afraid of who you are and realizing you have a lot to give just as anybody else around you.

Well I had things other than sitting at home planned. Like I was going to spend time with my family for the better part of the day. But anyway, I suppose you're right. It's just that I don't do a whole lot at work besides just supervise, so there's a lot of time for me to be just standing around. Not much that will get my mind off of my problems. I might just end up texting all day since my supervisor doesn't really care what I do as long as no one needs help.

[QUOTE=Autumn;34322999]if you're under 25 i think you have far better ways of meeting people than on the internet. you can do better![/QUOTE] I am 25 years old.. [QUOTE=Seith;34323026]Are you asking for approval? I give you a clear no then. This is about as helpful for your confidence and sexual activity as getting plastic surgery. Most people, do it to fix insecurities they have on the inside with outside sort of fixes. It's a quick fix, not a true solution or improvement of any sort. You can make a car look beautiful, but if the inside are overused and old, it still won't work any better. The only way to increase your chances dramatically, is going out there, not being afraid of who you are and realizing you have a lot to give just as anybody else around you.[/QUOTE] Yea, that's what I thought. I'm actually moving to a bigger city this summer, so I'm hoping that will increase my chances too.

[QUOTE=Autumn;34322999](although there is no way of putting this remotely nicely, and i do not mean any offence) [/QUOTE] That is so weird...

[QUOTE=Seith;34322889]Then I am an absurd kind of person. Not sure what you mean by pushed back into line. You mean controlling them? Well, obviously emotions are part of you and they cannot be controlled to an extent where you can deny feeling them. That's not even what I'm saying. What I am saying, is that you need to set them apart from your logical thinking patterns. It's a possible solution for every person on Earth. Just because you choose not to believe it's possible does not make it less true. I am not producing bullshit motivation out of my mouth, but life's experience.[/QUOTE] Some things you can set apart obviously, but much relies on more than pure logical processes and all of it can be poisoned by emotion. The best bet is coping and ignoring it, but even that has limitations. I think the biggest problem you have is you push your own experience in a way that does not translate to other people very well. You may have something to tell from your experiences but it loses all substance. Think of experiencing watching a movie, then you explain the movie to a friend without them seeing it, think it'll work the same?

[QUOTE=Devodiere;34323105]Some things you can set apart obviously, but much relies on more than pure logical processes and all of it can be poisoned by emotion. The best bet is coping and ignoring it, but even that has limitations. I think the biggest problem you have is you push your own experience in a way that does not translate to other people very well. You may have something to tell from your experiences but it loses all substance. Think of experiencing watching a movie, then you explain the movie to a friend without them seeing it, think it'll work the same?[/QUOTE] Good point. Thing is, I don't care if it works or not. Maybe, a month ago, I really did try my best to transmit this process of thought but I soon realized I am rather tired of fixing a very wrong society. Not everybody can be a winner, and I can't bother myself to carry this world's narrow-minded, thick-headed idiots. Even one listener is good enough for me. Those who want to change themselves, their lives, will find their way - either by asking for guidance or engaging themselves in the actions they think would get them where they want to be. [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Autumn;34322999] if you're under 25 i think you have far better ways of meeting people than on the internet. you can do better![/QUOTE] 25 is still very young, yet you make it sound so old and pathetic.

[QUOTE=Seith;34323247]25 is still very young, yet you make it sound so old and pathetic.[/QUOTE] in my opinion if you're under 25, or thereabouts, then you should be going out and socialising enough to meet new people. you should not be relying on the internet to find potential partners. [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Seith;34323104]That is so weird...[/QUOTE] why? i'm not going to lie, and pat pascall on the head and say "it's okay hun, don't worry about it, it's all going to be fine, you can take the day off work that's totally okay if you feel this way" because i don't think it's the right way to go about it. but then i didn't want to come off as a completely heartless bastard by telling her to "man the fuck up you pussy", or words to that affect. what's so weird about that? [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Seith;34323247]25 is still very young, yet you make it sound so old and pathetic.[/QUOTE] for someone who's not yet 18 i think for once you might want to take a back seat on this opinion.

It's okay, either way. I wouldn't mind someone telling me to man the fuck up. I am being really childish about my problems, considering there's really nothing I can do about them. Doesn't make them any less frustrating, I'm just sort of stuck with them for now.

[QUOTE=Autumn;34323414]in my opinion if you're under 25, or thereabouts, then you should be going out and socialising enough to meet new people. you should not be relying on the internet to find potential partners. [/QUOTE] Try finding someone to socialize with in a town with mostly parents, old people and 14-18 year olds. That's why I'm moving to another city, that and higher studies.

[QUOTE=Thaard;34323488]That's why I'm moving to another city, that and higher studies.[/QUOTE] then why do you need online dating? :v: [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] i see it as little more than an absolute last resort and if you're already willing to make changes that will put you into a better social scene then i really don't think you need it! [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] i see it as little more than an absolute last resort and if you're already willing to make changes that will put you into a better social scene then i really don't think you need it!

I was just asking about people's experience with online dating. Thanks for the answers though.

[QUOTE=Autumn;34323414]in my opinion if you're under 25, or thereabouts, then you should be going out and socialising enough to meet new people. you should not be relying on the internet to find potential partners. [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] why? i'm not going to lie, and pat pascall on the head and say "it's okay hun, don't worry about it, it's all going to be fine, you can take the day off work that's totally okay if you feel this way" because i don't think it's the right way to go about it. but then i didn't want to come off as a completely heartless bastard by telling her to "man the fuck up you pussy", or words to that affect. what's so weird about that? [editline]21st January 2012[/editline] for someone who's not yet 18 i think for once you might want to take a back seat on this opinion.[/QUOTE] I never said I was 18... I agree on that people should go out and start socializing and not relay on the internet, sure. But, at 25 they can suddenly start relaying on the internet? ... as I've said, you make it sound as if people are considered "living corpses" if you will at the age of 25. What's weird is that you were apologizing yourself to her about being honest and giving her good advice. Not only that this is contradictory of the term "good advice", this also what is wrong in today's society - people cannot accept honesty. Honesty and cockiness have now merged into one entity called - "dickhead". Why must it all be black n white, when in reality, it's not even so?