The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v2 - General

[QUOTE=geogzm;34374571]Going on a break with my girlfriend but she's reluctant to tell people it's a break. Why is this?[/QUOTE] Maybe I'm just impatient and simpleminded, but if your relationship is causing you this much stress and unpleasantness, might it not just be better to end it?

I hate that "going on a break" crap. Why bother. Just break up. If you want to get back together, then you'll get back together.

[QUOTE=Autumn;34374588]because breaks are bullshit a break (to most people) means "we're not together, but we kinda are still together, so it's sort of a free card to get with anyone else, but then you can't get mad because we're on a break so it's allowed"[/QUOTE] There's a "no other people" rule :v: We're just getting out of each other's faces to prevent petty drama for a week or two. I've got this feeling she's going to leave me though. I want it to be like it used to between me and her, about 7-9 months ago.

[QUOTE=Autumn;34374592]for the record my surname is Crutchley, hence the crutch/crotch nickname. it's not because i have a weird vagina habit or anything[/QUOTE] A nickname that causes people to speculate about the state of your gonads might not be such a great nickname! [I]"Hi, my name's Zachary, but everybody calls me 'Ballsac.'"[/I]

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;34374612]Maybe I'm just impatient and simpleminded, but if your relationship is causing you this much stress and unpleasantness, might it not just be better to end it?[/QUOTE] I want to but I'm afraid I'll regret it. I'm just hanging in for the chance that we might revert to how we used to be.

[QUOTE=geogzm;34374643]There's a "no other people" rule :v: We're just getting out of each other's faces to prevent petty drama for a week or two. I've got this feeling she's going to leave me though. I want it to be like it used to between me and her, about 7-9 months ago.[/QUOTE] Then breaking up will give the both of you a chance to see if you really want to be together or not. If you really do, you can always get back together. If you're both happier without each other, then you can stay apart. "Taking a break" just overcomplicates things.

[QUOTE=Pascall;34374673]Then breaking up will give the both of you a chance to see if you really want to be together or not. If you really do, you can always get back together. If you're both happier without each other, then you can stay apart. "Taking a break" just overcomplicates things.[/QUOTE] Well in essence we've broken up until we feel like being with each other again. We're not going with other people. If it comes to it, we'll just end it completely.

This sounds like a desperate play, Geo. I'm sad to say it, but it sounds like you're dangling over the edge and clutching at weeds!

I don't have much choice. I'm too weak to break up with her.

This is not an endearing attitude.

[QUOTE=geogzm;34374730]I don't have much choice. I'm too weak to break up with her.[/QUOTE] man up and break up with her after you've had your space and had time to reflect back on it, then you can assess whether you're willing to be back in the relationship what you're doing now is hopeless and pointless

It is. I just really don't want to let go of her. It's like someone on a life support machine, you pretend it isn't fucked up but one day you're going to have to pull the plug.

[QUOTE=Autumn;34374755]man up and break up with her after you've had your space and had time to reflect back on it, then you can assess whether you're willing to be back in the relationship what you're doing now is hopeless and pointless[/QUOTE] I like assertive women, +1 Autumn.

Fuck it. I want to be happy. That [b]ISN'T[/b] going to happen with her worrying me.

[QUOTE=geogzm;34374838]It is. I just really don't want to let go of her. It's like someone on a life support machine, you pretend it isn't fucked up but one day you're going to have to pull the plug.[/QUOTE] It is hard, it really is. But it's even harder to go through a relationship where you know it's not working and yet you're trying desperately to pretend like it's alright. I went a whole year like that before I finally just said "ok fuck this" and ended it. Trust me, it'll suck for a while, but you'll feel better after you get over the initial pain of it.

[QUOTE=Pascall;34374884]It is hard, it really is. But it's even harder to go through a relationship where you know it's not working and yet you're trying desperately to pretend like it's alright. I went a whole year like that before I finally just said "ok fuck this" and ended it. Trust me, it'll suck for a while, but you'll feel better after you get over the initial pain of it.[/QUOTE] Other problem is, I crave affection, or at least someone I can tell every single little detail to. The only person like that would be a girlfriend. Otherwise I tend to feel trapped inside myself. I guess it can't be too bad, right? I could just tell the internet.

[QUOTE=Pascall;34374884]It is hard, it really is. But it's even harder to go through a relationship where you know it's not working and yet you're trying desperately to pretend like it's alright. I went a whole year like that before I finally just said "ok fuck this" and ended it. Trust me, it'll suck for a while, but you'll feel better after you get over the initial pain of it.[/QUOTE] It's only as hard as you make it... this is merely a thinking problem - stop thinking. Start doing, this goes for the both of you. [editline]24th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=geogzm;34374908]Other problem is, I crave affection, or at least someone I can tell every single little detail to. The only person like that would be a girlfriend. Otherwise I tend to feel trapped inside myself. I guess it can't be too bad, right? I could just tell the internet.[/QUOTE] You could read my comment, inhale it, manifest it in every cell you got and shut the fuck up from now. You have no reason to dwell about something that holds you down from achieving success.

[QUOTE=Seith;34374926]It's only as hard as you make it... this is merely a thinking problem - stop thinking. Start doing, this goes for the both of you. [editline]24th January 2012[/editline] You could read my comment, inhale it, manifest it in every cell you got and shut the fuck up from now. You have no reason to dwell about something that slows you from achieving success.[/QUOTE] yessir

[QUOTE=Seith;34374926]It's only as hard as you make it... this is merely a thinking problem - stop thinking. Start doing, this goes for the both of you. .[/QUOTE] wha- I broke up with my boyfriend over a year ago. Don't worry about me, I have absolutely no problem breaking things off with people.

Heartless Pascall. [editline]24th January 2012[/editline] Pascall the Robot.

[QUOTE=Pascall;34374962]wha- I broke up with my boyfriend over a year ago. Don't worry about me, I have absolutely no problem breaking things off with people.[/QUOTE] Could you give a few more details? Like how it went down and the aftermath? How was seeing him with other people, etc

[QUOTE=Pascall;34374962]wha- I broke up with my boyfriend over a year ago. Don't worry about me, I have absolutely no problem breaking things off with people.[/QUOTE] "I have no issues, why u pointing your finger at me". I never said you did so basically you framed yourself. We all have problems breaking shit up, if we didn't, we weren't human in the first place... I have problems breaking shit up, but it's how I look at it that makes the difference. I was jus sayin', not deciding you are something you are not.

you should probably eat more fibre.

Well UNFORTUNATELY, because I didn't have a car at the time, I had to write an extensive letter to him over Facebook. (Which is a BIG NO NO, don't ever do this, I really wish I hadn't), but he got the message that it was over, but he was not happy about it at all, especially after 3 years. He bitched and he moaned for weeks after that. The first day when I had actually broken up with him, I cried for a good few hours. Just laid around. Didn't do much of anything. Then the next day I went out with my mom for some quality time and to talk about it and to get my mind off of my problems. In the weeks after that, he made attempts to get back with me, always saying how he didn't understand, even though I explained my stance on it every single time he asked in extreme detail. I told him that if he wanted to still be friends, I had no problem with it, but I wouldn't stick around if he was going to not be able to accept the fact that it was over between us. The months passed by, but things were kind of awkward between us for quite a while. At least until we openly talked about it a bit down the road. Talked about where we went wrong and after a while, he understood and we decided that it wouldn't be so bad if we hung out every once in a while with our mutual friends. So over time, we became more and more comfortable with the idea of just being friends. Now we're perfectly okay with hanging out together without bringing up the past. We laugh, we joke, we kid around a lot just like we used to before our relationship. We remember the good times, but we also remember how in the end, we really just didn't work. We're perfectly good friends now and there's no bad blood between us. It just really takes time, delicacy, and the ability to be mature about it.

[QUOTE=Pascall;34375096]Well UNFORTUNATELY, because I didn't have a car at the time, I had to write an extensive letter to him over Facebook. (Which is a BIG NO NO, don't ever do this, I really wish I hadn't), but he got the message that it was over, but he was not happy about it at all, especially after 3 years. He bitched and he moaned for weeks after that. The first day when I had actually broken up with him, I cried for a good few hours. Just laid around. Didn't do much of anything. Then the next day I went out with my mom for some quality time and to talk about it and to get my mind off of my problems. In the weeks after that, he made attempts to get back with me, always saying how he didn't understand, even though I explained my stance on it every single time he asked in extreme detail. I told him that if he wanted to still be friends, I had no problem with it, but I wouldn't stick around if he was going to not be able to accept the fact that it was over between us. The months passed by, but things were kind of awkward between us for quite a while. At least until we openly talked about it a bit down the road. Talked about where we went wrong and after a while, he understood and we decided that it wouldn't be so bad if we hung out every once in a while with our mutual friends. So over time, we became more and more comfortable with the idea of just being friends. Now we're perfectly okay with hanging out together without bringing up the past. We laugh, we joke, we kid around a lot just like we used to before our relationship. We remember the good times, but we also remember how in the end, we really just didn't work. We're perfectly good friends now and there's no bad blood between us. It just really takes time, delicacy, and the ability to be mature about it.[/QUOTE] If I broke up with her, there wouldn't be bad blood. I'm just worried I'll see her with another guy and something inside me is going to say "you fucking idiot" and I'll get all teary. I'm not a strong person :v:

Eh. It'll be annoying seeing the person you were once with with someone else. (Although I haven't had that problem, my ex hasn't been with anyone since our break up) But you just have to remember that you broke up with her for a reason.

Well, time to see what happens. She's pretty much got until I see her :v:

[QUOTE=Autumn;34375082]you should probably eat more fibre.[/QUOTE] you would know, fat ass

[QUOTE=geogzm;34374669]I want to but I'm afraid I'll regret it. I'm just hanging in for the chance that we might revert to how we used to be.[/QUOTE] The chances of things being the same again are so horribly unlikely that you might as well just stop that train of thought in its tracks. One of my best friends who has horrible self-esteem, confidence issues and depression is kind of in the same boat you are. She dumped her boyfriend 3 months ago, but continues to text him and always tells me how she is still in love with him (even though she dumped him /shrug). Hell, she even went so far as to say that she considers herself as "still together with him" and when she kissed a girl at a party a few nights ago thought it was considered cheating. Don't become my aforementioned friend. End it all or continue with the relationship. They are your only two options mate.

[QUOTE=Seith;34375246]you would know, fat ass[/QUOTE] are you attempting to do that sort of cute semi insulting thing that guys seem to like doing? because you failed.