The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v2

[Juice_Layer]

[QUOTE=Jmir 54;34416654]Its never too late to hit up the gym. And with exercise comes a lot more physchological and physical perks too.[/QUOTE]

Yeah I know, I'm stoked. Me and my buddies are gonna start hitting up the gym on M/W/F here at my university. I shall now go stalk the Fitness forum for a routine. Gotta get swole, homes.

[Turnips5]

[QUOTE=Jmir 54;34410436]I think I've just found new workout music.

Thank you.[/QUOTE]

you should see the video that goes with it

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twQlpFrm5iM[/media]

it's the other kind of bear. still legendary

[DrBreen]

I don't think charm is ever a natural trait, through experiences you can perfect it, along with sense of humor and confidence, no one is born confident, notice how first thing we do when we are born is that we cry, we don't go like "Yo nurse, I'm gonna bang yo ass in 20 years, you better not get fat, bitch"

[I](obviously, I don't want anyone to become over-confident, or in other words, a douchebag) (because you don't want to shove your confidence all over her junk, unless she's insecure and shallow, she will fall for that though, but I'm assuming you guys want ~the real deal~ and not a month worth of shags..)[/I]

Basically, you reap what you sow, can't put it in any other way. If you don't put any effort and work your crop dies and you don't get the good shit.

Shit analogy but it's pretty accurate, I've been thinking about the perks of charm and confidence in dating and even in work, though I'm no god of thunder like .. maverick.

[Pascall]

I'm pretty sure I lack any sort of charm, but when I do talk to people, I do it in confidence and I think people pick up on it pretty well.

Which is why I rarely have an awkward conversation unless I'm caught off guard by something.

[DrBreen]

[QUOTE=Pascall;34419266]I'm pretty sure I lack any sort of charm, but when I do talk to people, I do it in confidence and I think people pick up on it pretty well.

Which is why I rarely have an awkward conversation unless I'm caught off guard by something.[/QUOTE]

I read this text some years back, it's a good read for everyone;

[QUOTE]Let me introduce you to my good friend David Burton. The man who is able to capture the attention of every person in a crowded room by the simple tone of his voice, his stance, and smile. David is the type of person who’ll find any job he wants, get any woman he desires, and attract every successful person around him by exerting confidence, positive energy, and a successful image.

David is not the best looking guy. In fact, he’s the guy that everyone asks, "What does she see in him?" But once they get to know David, they are quickly seduced, and captivated by his charisma. My curiosity got the best of me, so I asked David, "How do you do it? How can you captivate so many people?" David smiled very smoothly at me and said, "It’s all about charm."

It’s All About Charm

The art of attracting people (especially beautiful women) consists of 10% projection of success, 10% appearance, 10% intelligence, and 70% charm. David’s comment is simple but true. In a study conducted by the University of Waterloo, 85% of the correspondents (both men and women) expressed that charm was the principle reason for their attraction to the opposite individual.

Some people are born with the gift of being naturally charming. But most people lack the skill or just never learned the proper techniques through social communication. This does not mean a person cannot learn how to be charming. All one needs, is to understand what people find charming and practice it over and over again, until it becomes naturally part of their personality.

Charm Practice

Charm is simply the art of letting someone know that you feel good about them, without embarrassing them or asking anything of them in return. And this is really attractive. The following checklist should help you accomplish your goals:

1) Charm has an ally in eye contact. Never forget to look into someone’s eyes when speaking to them.

2) Charming someone includes complimenting them. What you should compliment is relatively easy to figure out, just figure out what would it take to make you feel complimented, and do the same to others. The difference between charm and flattery is that flattery has an agenda. I’ll flatter you so that you’ll give me what I want. Charm is a way of being, rather than a tool to achieve something.

3) Charm has to be sincere. It is strongest when you believe what you’re saying.

4) Charm is done pleasantly and lightly.

5) The secret to charm is to be selfless. You should not ask for anything, not even feedback.

6) Charm isn’t sexual. It’s just warmth.

7) Charm is exerting strong confidence.

8) Charm at its simplest just says, "You are terrific. Thank you for letting me bask in your glow."

For a person not to come off as rehearsed, one needs to practice. So where do you start? Any place. Practice on your mother, sister, dog, neighbor, dad, your boss, teacher, friends, the stranger on the street-corner. You will also be amazed at how charming people will be in return. Don’t forget to smile. It makes you look alive.

In short, charm is like a butterfly’s touch on a rose petal. The key is to not overdo it. Charm is fun and potentially a very profitable tool in interpersonal relationships. And it’s crucial to dating. So practice and enjoy.[/QUOTE]

[editline]27th January 2012[/editline]

even though i strongly disagree with people being "born charming", i believe people are [i]genetically PRONE[/i] to charm, and perfect it through life experiences, Even if you could be next Beethoven and born to play piano you won't get shit without practicing, at least, that's how i feel about pretty much everything in life

[Pascall]

I have a little bit of charm but it seems to only work on like lonely nerds who I sit next to in class

[DrBreen]

[QUOTE=Pascall;34419479]I have a little bit of charm but it seems to only work on like lonely nerds who I sit next to in class[/QUOTE]

then you're doing it wrong, woman!

*shakes fist*

[Pascall]

It's not my fault!

I just like to be nice.

But I guess I'm always nice to those people who never have people talk to them like ever.

[editline]27th January 2012[/editline]

I've attracted people other than lonely nerds though, but most of them just weren't my type.

[Makol]

Like that one older dude from the mall? :v:

[Pascall]

OH GOD yeah

There was like this 29 year old Indian guy who thought I was some cute little hipster girl and he took me to go get gelato and stuff. He was sweet but I was like 19 still at the time so it was very odd.

I kept in contact for a little while because he was a nice guy but then realized that he was way too old for me to even be okay with it, so I stopped. That and he got kind of irritating and started texting me at all hours of the day.

[Makol]

I still find that whole situation funny.

[DrBreen]

[QUOTE=Pascall;34419522]It's not my fault!

I just like to be nice.

But I guess I'm always nice to those people who never have people talk to them like ever.

[editline]27th January 2012[/editline]

I've attracted people other than lonely nerds though, but most of them just weren't my type.[/QUOTE]

Well your charm should only extend to the same degree as your social interactions, but you should ready adaptations just in case

[editline]27th January 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=Pascall;34419595]OH GOD yeah

There was like this 29 year old Indian guy who thought I was some cute little hipster girl and he took me to go get gelato and stuff. He was sweet but I was like 19 still at the time so it was very odd.

I kept in contact for a little while because he was a nice guy but then realized that he was way too old for me to even be okay with it, so I stopped. That and he got kind of irritating and started texting me at all hours of the day.[/QUOTE]

okay that's just what

oh well, you know. shit happens.

[[CWG]RustySpann]

questionsuestionquestion

There's this girl who I'm not going to see for two weeks due to study leave, and exams and stuff, and I'm wanting to talk to her on Facebook now, leading up to me asking if she wants to hang out, because I really don't want to wait two weeks. Is this a bad idea?

I'm really worried that if I don't act now someone else might end up asking her first?

[Pascall]

[QUOTE=DrBreen;34419634]
okay that's just what

oh well, you know. shit happens.[/QUOTE]

Well I was flattered, at the very least.

[iamiadam]

[QUOTE='[CWG]RustySpannerz;34420164']questionsuestionquestion

There's this girl who I'm not going to see for two weeks due to study leave, and exams and stuff, and I'm wanting to talk to her on Facebook now, leading up to me asking if she wants to hang out, because I really don't want to wait two weeks. Is this a bad idea?

I'm really worried that if I don't act now someone else might end up asking her first?[/QUOTE]

That's an ideal opportunity, ask if she wants to go somewhere to revise together. Like hell you're going to revise but that wasn't the idea was it? Do it now!

[[CWG]RustySpann]

[QUOTE='[CWG]RustySpannerz;34420164']questionsuestionquestion

There's this girl who I'm not going to see for two weeks due to study leave, and exams and stuff, and I'm wanting to talk to her on Facebook now, leading up to me asking if she wants to hang out, because I really don't want to wait two weeks. Is this a bad idea?

I'm really worried that if I don't act now someone else might end up asking her first?[/QUOTE]

Okay, well, I'm doing it anyway. I've decided.

Even though I'm currently stalling.

I don't like stalling.

[Seith]

[QUOTE='[CWG]RustySpannerz;34420348']Okay, well, I'm doing it anyway. I've decided.

Even though I'm currently stalling.

I don't like stalling.[/QUOTE]

Great. One tip though, don't be afraid to lose her. Basic most important tip of all.

[General Omega]

[QUOTE=Seith;34420438]Great. One tip though, don't be afraid to lose her. Basic most important tip of all.[/QUOTE]
If she is short and you do lose her, check the kiddie's pen first. Lost a friend of mine at the mall and that is where we found her.

[DrBreen]

[QUOTE=Seith;34420438]Great. One tip though, don't be afraid to lose her. Basic most important tip of all.[/QUOTE]

the most basic tip is the q-tip, and its only useful for cleaning wax out of your ears

(this is another shit anology, meaning the basic tips are not that useful)

[JenkinsJ]

[QUOTE=DrBreen;34419242]... no one is born confident, notice how first thing we do when we are born is that we cry, we don't go like...[/QUOTE]

Dude babies cry cos it's the first time they inflate their lungs, not cos they're all a bunch of pussies.

I think.

Biology reppin' 2k12

[DrBreen]

[QUOTE=JenkinsJ;34420711]Dude babies cry cos it's the first time they inflate their lungs, not cos they're all a bunch of pussies.

I think.

Biology reppin' 2k12[/QUOTE]

you are molesting the love vibes! stop it!

:(

[JenkinsJ]

I don't think the phrase 'molesting the love vibes' is appropriate when talking about the physiology of babies. It's like, it's just, it's that it makes it seem like I'm molesting babies.

And I have [i]never[/i] been formally accused of that.

But the message is good!

[DrBreen]

[QUOTE=JenkinsJ;34421261]I don't think the phrase 'molesting the love vibes' is appropriate when talking about the physiology of babies. It's like, it's just, it's that it makes it seem like I'm molesting babies.

And I have [i]never[/i] been formally accused of that.

But the message is good![/QUOTE]

now u understand

[Seith]

[QUOTE=DrBreen;34420568]the most basic tip is the q-tip, and its only useful for cleaning wax out of your ears

(this is another shit anology, meaning the basic tips are not that useful)[/QUOTE]

this one is. shit analogy.

[robmaister12]

Well, it's over... nothing really big happened between us and I pretty much knew it was going to be over a few weeks ago so it wasn't that hard to let myself down easy. I remember telling one of my friends that no matter how badly this relationship ends, it can't ever be as bad as how the previous one ended ("No, I can't go on a date this weekend because I'm going on a date with my boyfriend" + a few weeks of drama and bullshit), and it certainly wasn't. I'm fine with still being friends with her since that's pretty much what we've been this whole time, minus the dates and romantic gestures.

She said it was because college was coming up so soon and she didn't want to get more involved only to break up in a few months. Even if that wasn't just an excuse it probably wouldn't have worked out so well if she was worrying about what happens in 5-6 months. I'm not so much preoccupied with that as I am with the question of whether I just suck with women or I've been unlucky with these last two relationships. The first one wanted to take things pretty quickly when I wasn't expecting that type of a relationship and the second wanting to take things slow when I wanted something a bit faster. At the same time it could be my inability to act when given the opportunity - the first by not pushing things forward when she wanted me to, and the second when trying to move the relationship quicker may have given it enough momentum to be worth more than us leaving for college in a few months (and again, it's always possible that it wouldn't or that it had nothing to do with college).

Eh, college will probably be much better than high school anyways.

[Seith]

now after you've reaped the fruits of disappointment, you are allowed to grab a beer, listen to "ganja babe" and enjoy life.

You know it gets better, as you actually able to learn from it and not mop around like an idiot.

[DrBreen]

[QUOTE=Seith;34422289]now after you've reaped the fruits of disappointment, you are allowed to grab a beer, listen to "ganja babe" and enjoy life.

You know it gets better, as you actually able to learn from it and not mop around like an idiot.[/QUOTE]

I honetly think that moping around like an idiot is at least the initial levels of wisdom regarding dating and everything around it

there will be a point where you are simply perfect at what you do

[robmaister12]

[QUOTE=Seith;34422289]now after you've reaped the fruits of disappointment, you are allowed to grab a beer, listen to "ganja babe" and enjoy life.

You know it gets better, as you actually able to learn from it and not mop around like an idiot.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I'm way less mopey this time around - listened to Fleetwood Mac "Rumours" twice, posted here, got some food and I'm a lot better. At the same time I wasn't nearly as close to this girl as I was in the last relationship and I have no issues with staying friends this time, so I'm not losing as much.

[Protocol7]

I feel like I've asked this more than once in this thread, but I'm going again.

My dad's an alcoholic and it makes it so terrible for me to even be near him because of how... unengaging and stupid he becomes. He has like 6 beers a night, and this is the crazy strong imported German stuff too, so not only is he funneling ~$200 a month into beer, he's making it almost antagonizing to do anything at home without feeling like I have to baby him through some stupid shit (I have to convince him to do something trivial like go to sleep in his bed at least once every two weeks.)

What are my options? I was thinking of reaching out to co-workers of his and mine, but I feel like that'd place them in an awkward position. I've tried directly talking to him and the response I got was "My life would be boring without beer." I just want to be able to go back to a time where I don't have an annoying drunkard walking near me and saying some stupid shit.

[General Omega]

What are your legal options here. The shit you can do as a 15 year old is way different then 18+.