The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v2 - General

19 years old. I've had a lot of time to think about his drinking problem. These same habits led to a domestic abuse arrest once, that may be worth mentioning. (Felony charge because my mom is handicapped.)

[QUOTE=Protocol7;34422979]I feel like I've asked this more than once in this thread, but I'm going again. My dad's an alcoholic and it makes it so terrible for me to even be near him because of how... unengaging and stupid he becomes. He has like 6 beers a night, and this is the crazy strong imported German stuff too, so not only is he funneling ~$200 a month into beer, he's making it almost antagonizing to do anything at home without feeling like I have to baby him through some stupid shit (I have to convince him to do something trivial like go to sleep in his bed at least once every two weeks.) What are my options? I was thinking of reaching out to co-workers of his and mine, but I feel like that'd place them in an awkward position. I've tried directly talking to him and the response I got was "My life would be boring without beer." I just want to be able to go back to a time where I don't have an annoying drunkard walking near me and saying some stupid shit.[/QUOTE] that sucks, hard if it makes you feel better, german beeer is really weak compared to at least my country the only way is to bring him to reason while he's sober, i don't really know how but i'm sure sooner or later or later youll figure it out, you're 19, according to your FP profile isn't there any family members that could help you out with this? maybe send him to the AA or something

[QUOTE=DrBreen;34423080]that sucks, hard if it makes you feel better, german beeer is really weak compared to at least my country the only way is to bring him to reason while he's sober, i don't really know how but i'm sure sooner or later or later youll figure it out, you're 19, according to your FP profile isn't there any family members that could help you out with this? maybe send him to the AA or something[/QUOTE] There is one opportunity in that he stops by the liquor store on the way home from work. We carpool, and I think it may be worth trying accosting him when he makes the stop. The asshole in me wants to carjack him when he leaves the car after parking it because he leaves the keys in, but that wouldn't do anyone any good :v:

[QUOTE=Protocol7;34423105]There is one opportunity in that he stops by the liquor store on the way home from work. We carpool, and I think it may be worth trying accosting him when he makes the stop. The asshole in me wants to carjack him when he leaves the car after parking it because he leaves the keys in, but that wouldn't do anyone any good :v:[/QUOTE] do t it

[QUOTE='[CWG]RustySpannerz;34420164']questionsuestionquestion There's this girl who I'm not going to see for two weeks due to study leave, and exams and stuff, and I'm wanting to talk to her on Facebook now, leading up to me asking if she wants to hang out, because I really don't want to wait two weeks. Is this a bad idea? I'm really worried that if I don't act now someone else might end up asking her first?[/QUOTE] Somewhat related, I was in the same boat about a year ago. I ended up asking this girl out a week before study break, exams etc. We had a good time, but I got the feeling that she wasn't really interested in the same way. I would have pursued it further, but it was kind of awkward timing and we couldn't really have done anything for another three weeks, so for whatever reason I didn't follow up on the first date... Would it be a bad idea to try again? I could call her, but because I haven't really seen her that much recently I would feel like I'd be putting her on the spot. Otherwise I could wait a month until we both go back to uni and try sometime then.

Ugh, today sucked, broke up with my boyfriend, his parents are moving to new york and he doesn't have enough money to stay with me, and my family cant afford to support someone else...known him for a a month and a half but we loved each other. I don't know how to deal with this..

It was a month and a half. You'll get over it.

[QUOTE=Shovelpass;34426256]It was a month and a half. You'll get over it.[/QUOTE] No, there is no one around here is even close to as amazing he was, their are no gay/bi guys, we had virtually everything in common, we connected perfectly. If you have something useful to say, say something else than "you'll get over it".

[QUOTE=SpaceGhost;34426451]No, there is no one around here is even close to as amazing he was, their are no gay/bi guys, we had virtually everything in common, we connected perfectly. If you have something useful to say, say something else than "you'll get over it".[/QUOTE] Try dating someone for 2 years and then all of sudden your partner (who you loved) decides to abrubtly change for the worse to the point where youre forced to break up with them then get back to me

don't worry, it gets better?

[QUOTE=SpaceGhost;34426451]No, there is no one around here is even close to as amazing he was, their are no gay/bi guys, we had virtually everything in common, we connected perfectly. If you have something useful to say, say something else than "you'll get over it".[/QUOTE]No, he is right. You are being over dramatic. You WILL get over it and you WILL find someone else.

[QUOTE=Jmir 54;34426521]Try dating someone for 2 years and then all of sudden your partner (who you loved) decides to abrubtly change for the worse to the point where youre forced to break up with them then get back to me[/QUOTE] try losing your best friend to a heroin overdose and then try making this thread a contest about who is the most miserable.

Try being a middle class white cisgendered heterosexual male in a first world country. [I]You don't understand my pain[/I]

[QUOTE=thisispain;34426540]try losing your best friend to a heroin overdose and then try making this thread a contest about who is the most miserable.[/QUOTE] -snip- nevermind, im not gonna post asshole things right now. I was just listing off more awful things. I too know what its like to lose someone close to you. My grandfather, who when I was young and would always help him build his cabin, died of a heart attack.

[QUOTE=Jmir 54;34426615]-snip- nevermind, im not gonna post asshole things right now[/QUOTE] exactly, this thread isn't the place to post asshole things.

Someone stole my half full dr.pepper bottle while shopping at Forever 21. [B][I]You guys do not know the pain that sadistic bastard put me through.[/I][/B]

Hey, so I went out with my friend and the girl I like last night. She brought her friend along who was also really cool. We just longboarded around town, the other girl couldn't longboard for shit so my friend helped her out and hung out with her most of the time. Me and the girl I'm into went off and rode all over the place. Also, we were sitting in the back of my friend's car and she was showing me videos and stuff on her phone and she kept bumping into me and it seemed kind of on purpose but I wasn't sure. I just feel like I suck ass at reading signals, but I tried to be charming and I think it helped a bit. I guess I just didn't see any ample opportunities to make an advance. I think we're all going out again sometime though, so that will be fun.

[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;34432227]I just feel like I suck ass at reading signals, but I tried to be charming and I think it helped a bit. I guess I just didn't see any ample opportunities to make an advance. I think we're all going out again sometime though, so that will be fun.[/QUOTE] I always think with reading signals and stuff, it doesn't do to over think things. I always used to be reticent to let myself think a girl was in to me because it made me seem immodest, but that's rubbish, be as immodest as you like. That doesn't make much sense. Right, okay - imagine this scenario, we've all been there: you're getting some signals off someone but you don't really know if they're signals or not? Well what I say is, you can usually kind of tell if you're lying to yourself, so as long as you know you're not being retarded, then carry on with the [i]assumption[/i] that you're right. Because at some point in order to get anything done you're gonna need to know the answer to that question, other wise you'll just pansy about going "Oh maybe I should kiss her now? But, hmm, should I? I don't know". So just carry on assuming that she does like you, you're probably right about that anyway. The worst that happens is you're wrong and you look like a plonker.

[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;34432227]Hey, so I went out with my friend and the girl I like last night. She brought her friend along who was also really cool. We just longboarded around town, the other girl couldn't longboard for shit so my friend helped her out and hung out with her most of the time. Me and the girl I'm into went off and rode all over the place. Also, we were sitting in the back of my friend's car and she was showing me videos and stuff on her phone and she kept bumping into me and it seemed kind of on purpose but I wasn't sure. I just feel like I suck ass at reading signals, but I tried to be charming and I think it helped a bit. I guess I just didn't see any ample opportunities to make an advance. I think we're all going out again sometime though, so that will be fun.[/QUOTE] Simplest solution to find out if she likes you is to ask her on a one to one 'date' and call it that.

[QUOTE=CheeserCrice;34433030]Simplest solution to find out if she likes you is to ask her on a one to one 'date' and call it that.[/QUOTE] ...Or you could do a double date with your friend who could take the other girl with him? It would be the exact same thing as a one on one date except with a less awkward atmosphere since the pressure is dispersed on four people, not two. edit- of course you would want to eventually have some alone time, but doing double dates can help ease out the tension of figuring out if she likes you or not.

[QUOTE=CheeserCrice;34433030]Simplest solution to find out if she likes you is to ask her on a one to one 'date' and call it that.[/QUOTE] That is not a good solution at all. Just because she accepts a date doesn't mean that she has the same definition of a date as you do. Girl I asked on a date considered it one but in my mind, it was different than what i wanted it to be. We never ended up being in a relationship.

[QUOTE=redBadger;34434462]That is not a good solution at all. Just because she accepts a date doesn't mean that she has the same definition of a date as you do. Girl I asked on a date considered it one but in my mind, it was different than what i wanted it to be. We never ended up being in a relationship.[/QUOTE] Uh.. He wasn't saying her accepting the date means she likes him. He was saying to ask her out on a date and see if they click and end up in a relationship, which is kind of how the process works. Well not in your case, but that has to do with you and her not being compatible.

[QUOTE=CheeserCrice;34433030]Simplest solution to find out if she likes you is to ask her on a one to one 'date' and call it that.[/QUOTE] Sorry, I am sure you meant quickest solution. [editline]28th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=1chains1;34433176]...Or you could do a double date with your friend who could take the other girl with him? It would be the exact same thing as a one on one date except with a less awkward atmosphere since the pressure is dispersed on four people, not two. edit- of course you would want to eventually have some alone time, but doing double dates can help ease out the tension of figuring out if she likes you or not.[/QUOTE] You need to be a complete idiot to not recognize the signs. I think this is more an insecurity thing, than being unable to read signs. The ability to forward, have trust in yourself and your actions, is what this guy needs. People need to step out of their comfort zones, stop taking easy, quick fixes to situations they feel embarrassed in.

[QUOTE=Seith;34434513]Sorry, I am sure you meant quickest solution. [editline]28th January 2012[/editline] You need to be a complete idiot to not recognize the signs. I think this is more an insecurity thing, than being unable to read signs. The ability to forward, have trust in yourself and your actions, is what this guy needs. People need to step out of their comfort zones, stop taking easy, quick fixes to situations they feel embarrassed in.[/QUOTE] To be honest unless we are there watching (which would be creepy) we do not know if there are any "signs" at all. So no, he is not an idiot to be somewhat cautious as he doesnt want to ruin a friendship if there doesnt happen to be any interest in a relationship. So saying take her on an actual date is the most logical advice to give instead of saying "grow some balls and smash your face into her the moment she brushes you" and furthermore "signs" vary from girl to girl so you can't apply some universal action to them.

[QUOTE=1chains1;34434687]To be honest unless we are there watching (which would be creepy) we do not know if there are any "signs" at all. So no, he is not an idiot to be somewhat cautious as he doesnt want to ruin a friendship if there doesnt happen to be any interest in a relationship. So saying take her on an actual date is the most logical advice to give instead of saying "grow some balls and smash your face into her the moment she brushes you" and furthermore "signs" vary from girl to girl so you can't apply some universal action to them.[/QUOTE] There are always signs. He's a male she's a female. I am sorry, but unless he's a complete useless tool, transsexual, insecure, there will be signs. Also, I can't really see how this will ruin any relationship. It's how you feel that makes this situation even more awkward. I mean, if I were to kiss someone and she didn't want to, why would I feel awkward? I followed my heart, I am complete with my decision and if she's shaken by that simple action (kiss) then she didn't really want this relationship to happen. I agree on taking her to a date, I didn't say smash your face. What I usually do, and he should do are different because we are differently versed in the situation. Signs differ from with every human, but again, it doesn't take a college degree to realize a woman likes you.

[QUOTE=Seith;34434823]There are always signs. He's a male she's a female. I am sorry, but unless he's a complete useless tool, [B]transsexual[/B], insecure, there will be signs.[/QUOTE] uhh, what does that have to do with anything?

Good god. I am a moron. I am awesome, but a moron nonetheless. So, there was this girl I fancied. But I waited too long and so to my fault my friend ended up with her. I don't know how long it'll last... Last night we were just chilling, and they're like, "Marcus, drink this," and they hand me a Heineken. "I dunno guys, I mean... alone?" "Fine, I'll open it for you," so my buddy Michael opens it up and puts in my hand. "Whatever." So I drank two and a half of them bottles, but then also blazed up hardcore. Michael had a couple swigs of vodka and a couple bottles, also smoked a little. The whole time Amy, this chick I had my eyes for, only took a mouthful of vodka, fiddy-proof, and she isn't the type that drinks all too much. So she's buzzed slightly, Michael is reaching my level through vodka and I lost myself to soo much pot. Ridiculous. Point is, while I was signing a story about a lumberjack to them, they decided that they would get together. I waited too long. Oh well. Now I know, don't introduce my friends to each other if I plan to get at it. And don't take so damn long to get at it. Christ, I am amazing. But I need to take the step. It shouldn't be so intimidating. /rant Thanks for listening.

[QUOTE=Autumn;34434898]uhh, what does that have to do with anything?[/QUOTE] It's a way of emphasizing that there's almost no way logically that he won't get signs unless... [editline]28th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Phsykotik;34434937]Good god. I am a moron. I am awesome, but a moron nonetheless. So, there was this girl I fancied. But I waited too long and so to my fault my friend ended up with her. I don't know how long it'll last... Last night we were just chilling, and they're like, "Marcus, drink this," and they hand me a Heineken. "I dunno guys, I mean... alone?" "Fine, I'll open it for you," so my buddy Michael opens it up and puts in my hand. "Whatever." So I drank two and a half of them bottles, but then also blazed up hardcore. Michael had a couple swigs of vodka and a couple bottles, also smoked a little. The whole time Amy, this chick I had my eyes for, only took a mouthful of vodka, fiddy-proof, and she isn't the type that drinks all too much. So she's buzzed slightly, Michael is reaching my level through vodka and I lost myself to soo much pot. Ridiculous. Point is, while I was signing a story about a lumberjack to them, they decided that they would get together. I waited too long. Oh well. Now I know, don't introduce my friends to each other if I plan to get at it. And don't take so damn long to get at it. Christ, I am amazing. But I need to take the step. It shouldn't be so intimidating. /rant Thanks for listening.[/QUOTE] Introduce your friends, but just, let them know you want her or be more sharp..

[QUOTE=Seith;34434823]There are always signs. He's a male she's a female. I am sorry, but unless he's a complete useless tool, transsexual, insecure, there will be signs. Also, I can't really see how this will ruin any relationship. It's how you feel that makes this situation even more awkward. I mean, if I were to kiss someone and she didn't want to, why would I feel awkward? I followed my heart, I am complete with my decision and if she's shaken by that simple action (kiss) then she didn't really want this relationship to happen. I agree on taking her to a date, I didn't say smash your face. What I usually do, and he should do are different because we are differently versed in the situation. Signs differ from with every human, but again, it doesn't take a college degree to realize a woman likes you.[/QUOTE] If she is shaken by it she will probably distance herself because she doesn't want you to advance on her again. It messes up a friendship and he still wants that friendship if she doesn't like him as he stated. Also again everyone is different, I have a friend who is very flirty and loves touching such as leaning on people and holding their arms and other such things but she is not pursuing a relationship. Different people have different comfort zones and different standards on what is relationship actions and what are friendship actions. The only "sign" he saw was her bumping into him while a vehicle is moving. You suggested to simply go in for a kiss for something that could be seen either way as a sign. Even if she was giving a sign she may only simply be showing interest and rushing in with a kiss could be going too fast for her. People also have different opinions on what is too soon, a kiss might be a simple action for you but for all you know she could view it as no one should kiss until after the 2nd date. There are too many variables to be brash and just taking it one step at a time is the best way to go about in the situations. Now it doesn't mean to be insecure and not take action when action is needed, but right now he is in a situation where there is potential for a relationship but it is only beginning to take shape. During this time you have to show interest by taking them to dates and making it obvious, but showing caution in how bold your actions are until you know she is comfortable.

[QUOTE=Seith;34434945]It's a way of emphasizing that there's almost no way logically that he won't get signs unless...[/QUOTE] unless what? you choose to change your gender from what you were born as? like i said, what does that have to do with anything? what does transexuality have to do with picking up social signs? at all?