The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v2

[ScoutKing]

[QUOTE=AmericanInfantry;34067058]I understand why you're disappointed and I'm disappointed in myself as well. I don't know why I'm like this, it extends past (not) getting a girl, it involves a lot of things, such as studying for AP classes in school (I have told myself that I would do it and I don't, even though I know I should), amongst other things. This goes past relationship advice and it's probably a mental thing.

The post above was a heat of the moment response and I apologize for it. Knowing anything else I do it'll be taken as an empty apology though.[/QUOTE]

Are you depressed? The only people i know who lack as much motivation as you do suffer from some degree of depression.
I don't mean this in any negative way or anything. But i've leafed through the last thread before it was closed, and you posted in it a lot with the same situation. as mentioned 5 times.
Facepunch hasn't and can't help you, and you seem to really be determined to not help yourself as much as some of the people here would like you to, but have you tried therapy or some other alternative?

[kijji]

[QUOTE=ScoutKing;34068274]Are you depressed? The only people i know who lack as much motivation as you do suffer from some degree of depression.
I don't mean this in any negative way or anything. But i've leafed through the last thread before it was closed, and you posted in it a lot with the same situation. as mentioned 5 times.
Facepunch hasn't and can't help you, and you seem to really be determined to not help yourself as much as some of the people here would like you to, but have you tried therapy or some other alternative?[/QUOTE]
God, the last time I had therapy was in 5th grade. I dunno what for. It didn't help, I know that.

I might be depressed but I'm not gonna self-diagnose that.

[killerteacup]

Hey, I'm still a pussy with women, I just don't complain about it on Facepunch :v:

That and trying to pick up girls while working at a cash register is a monstrous task

[Mlisen14]

[QUOTE=killerteacup;34068507]Hey, I'm still a pussy with women, I just don't complain about it on Facepunch :v:

That and trying to pick up girls while working at a cash register is a monstrous task[/QUOTE]

That's why you get a job serving coffee to young upper middle class people in an inner-city cafe. Everyone is a possibility and at the very least you make tonnes of acquaintances.

[Jo The Shmo]

the girl I was planning to ask out has been out sick all week
its starting to bug me
she better be here tomorrow

[Dark_Light]

The girl I was planning on asking out went away for two months on the day I was going to talk to her.
:<

[Jmir 54]

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34070028]the girl I was planning to ask out has been out sick all week
its starting to bug me
she better be here tomorrow[/QUOTE]

I freaking hate that. I rarely get sick and I am always readily available whenever I am needed and it just feels unfair when you/me need something and BAM they're sick If only everyone was healthier.

[Godline]

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34070028]the girl I was planning to ask out has been out sick all week
its starting to bug me
she better be here tomorrow[/QUOTE]

classic joke gets me in stitches every time.

[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Permaban me if I post here again" - JohnnyMo1))[/highlight]

[phobia-_-]

[QUOTE=Goldenmyer;34066938]That feeling when a girl you have a crush on says she'd date you if you weren't black and you can't tell if she's serious or not...[/QUOTE]

You should've followed up or something to see if she was joking. I'm pretty sure girls have done the same to me but never actually say it. Most girls that are interested always brings up how color doesn't matter to them in some way. But some people are like that girl and you can't really change their views

[Ladowerf]

[QUOTE=Goldenmyer;34066938]That feeling when a girl you have a crush on says she'd date you if you weren't black and you can't tell if she's serious or not...[/QUOTE]

i know that feel brother....

[Cl0cK]

I'm going out with a girl tomorrow, I must be pretty funny if she's dating me.

[Seith]

[QUOTE=Goldenmyer;34066938]That feeling when a girl you have a crush on says she'd date you if you weren't black and you can't tell if she's serious or not...[/QUOTE]

What were the details of that conversation? were you completely oblivious of her and she said that?

[editline]6th January 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=killerteacup;34068507]Hey, I'm still a pussy with women, I just don't complain about it on Facepunch :v:

That and trying to pick up girls while working at a cash register is a monstrous task[/QUOTE]

Being playful or actual pick-up? There's a huge difference.

Playful would get you results, but picking up from a register... no.

[editline]6th January 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=AmericanInfantry;34068398]God, the last time I had therapy was in 5th grade. I dunno what for. It didn't help, I know that.

I might be depressed but I'm not gonna self-diagnose that.[/QUOTE]

You're not depressed. You've got the tools, make yourself use them.

You remind me of myself back in the day. You're not depressed, you are feeling something everybody on planet Earth have had experiences with.

[b]"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."[/b]

you just don't know it yet, my friend...

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=Seith;34074336]
[b]our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.[/b]
[/QUOTE]

that's your deepest fear?

lol

[Seith]

[QUOTE=thisispain;34074491]that's your deepest fear?

lol[/QUOTE]

Right now? no. In the future? I might have to conquer it again. Yes, that's my deepest fear. Makes sense.

[thisispain]

my biggest fear is heights.

[Dr. Disciple]

[QUOTE=Goldenmyer;34066938]That feeling when a girl you have a crush on says she'd date you if you weren't black and you can't tell if she's serious or not...[/QUOTE]

I know that feel..

Of African decent myself bro. I go to a school with predominately whites and asians and allot of times I use to feel like shit because many of them were to picky or stereotypical to date out of their race. Most asian girls were to afraid to get to know me much less be interested in me in any romantic sense.
Darkness in general is often seen as unattractive and I'm one of the light brownies.

Whether she was kidding or not though I would take that as insulting, because what does someone skin have to do with who they are?

I suggest moving on. Despite being surrounded by a bunch of people who judged me because of my skin all my life I came out okay and realized there are actually people out there that like you (attracted to you greatly in fact. ) and race has nothing to do with it.

:smile:

[kijji]

[QUOTE=Seith;34074336]You're not depressed. You've got the tools, make yourself use them.

You remind me of myself back in the day. You're not depressed, you are feeling something everybody on planet Earth have had experiences with.

[b]"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."[/b]

you just don't know it yet, my friend...[/QUOTE]
Maybe I do not know it yet. I do think I'm inadequate compared to my friends who [i]can[/i] get a girl, but then again, romance has become a competition, and it sucks.

Can you elaborate on how being powerful beyond measure is a fear as well?

[Dark_Light]

I was in a rush today whilst walking through a shopping mall, bumped into a girl and another old friend from high school who were both in one of my classes. Chatted a bit about what we were up to, school/post-graduation etc before saying, "Well I'll leave you guys to it," and started leaving. Stopped myself, pointed at her and said, "You and I need to catch up," then to not make it so awkward for the guy added, "- well we all do." I handed her my phone and told her to put her number in it, gave her another hug and left.

I'm sharing this because I was surprised at how easily the whole interaction went, and there's a few things to say about it.
Don't think so much about what you're doing, don't plan conversations or anything retarded like that. Just stay in the moment and things will flow naturally.
Get out of your house. Nothing new happens if you're sitting in front of your computer waiting for something to come to you.
And when you do, present yourself well. I was on my way to the gym and didn't expect to see anybody I knew, so I skipped on a shower that morning and put on a worn shirt. The whole time I was thinking "fuckfuckfuck I probably smell like shit." Obviously not a huge deal but it can make a difference.

[editline]6th January 2012[/editline]

I hope I don't sound like I'm gloating or anything. I just think it'd benefit some people here to see how easy this can be if you're just not so caught up in your head.

[Dark RaveN]

Okay, getting to the desperation point.

Recently I've met this girl. Lets call her Angela. At first we had little interaction, but then we started to get used to each other really quick. We known each other for merely a week when she gave me a birthday present! That showed that she trusted me a lot already, and I was fine with it. I also visited her birthday, too. We became really close friends and hang out with her and my other friend really often (school holidays).

Now, the fucked up part. After her birthday It seems I.... Yeah, you guess it. The time when in friendship one of the parties gets in love. What even more fucked up is the following:

1) I never wanted to see her as something more. Maybe only in imagination, but really, I want to stay as friends, not something more.
2) She doesn't want a relationship.
3) Most probably I'm already in the Friend-Zone.
4) We're just good friends and that's all.

So the fuck should I do? I hope my love interest in her would fade after Monday when school starts, so we get to see less often and I might forget about it. But if it doesn't stop, what should I do? It drives me insane how I can control not to show love and passion towards her during midday only to suffer consequences of not getting to sleep well at night. Fuck!

[thisispain]

you should relax and realize it's not a big deal.

[Contag]

stop caring
then she'll like you
but you'll be too much of a
[img]http://www.jonathanhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/fonzie.jpg[/img]
to care

[editline]6th January 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=Dark_Light;34074633]I was in a rush today whilst walking through a shopping mall, bumped into a girl and another old friend from high school who were both in one of my classes. Chatted a bit about what we were up to, school/post-graduation etc before saying, "Well I'll leave you guys to it," and started leaving. Stopped myself, pointed at her and said, "You and I need to catch up," then to not make it so awkward for the guy added, "- well we all do." I handed her my phone and told her to put her number in it, gave her another hug and left.

I'm sharing this because I was surprised at how easily the whole interaction went, and there's a few things to say about it.
Don't think so much about what you're doing, don't plan conversations or anything retarded like that. Just stay in the moment and things will flow naturally.
Get out of your house. Nothing new happens if you're sitting in front of your computer waiting for something to come to you.
And when you do, present yourself well. I was on my way to the gym and didn't expect to see anybody I knew, so I skipped on a shower that morning and put on a worn shirt. The whole time I was thinking "fuckfuckfuck I probably smell like shit." Obviously not a huge deal but it can make a difference.

[editline]6th January 2012[/editline]

I hope I don't sound like I'm gloating or anything. I just think it'd benefit some people here to see how easy this can be if you're just not so caught up in your head.[/QUOTE]

3 steps to social interaction

don't care
be awesome
just do it

[Seith]

[QUOTE=Dark_Light;34074633]I was in a rush today whilst walking through a shopping mall, bumped into a girl and another old friend from high school who were both in one of my classes. Chatted a bit about what we were up to, school/post-graduation etc before saying, "Well I'll leave you guys to it," and started leaving. Stopped myself, pointed at her and said, "You and I need to catch up," then to not make it so awkward for the guy added, "- well we all do." I handed her my phone and told her to put her number in it, gave her another hug and left.

I'm sharing this because I was surprised at how easily the whole interaction went, and there's a few things to say about it.
Don't think so much about what you're doing, don't plan conversations or anything retarded like that. Just stay in the moment and things will flow naturally.
Get out of your house. Nothing new happens if you're sitting in front of your computer waiting for something to come to you.
And when you do, present yourself well. I was on my way to the gym and didn't expect to see anybody I knew, so I skipped on a shower that morning and put on a worn shirt. The whole time I was thinking "fuckfuckfuck I probably smell like shit." Obviously not a huge deal but it can make a difference.

[editline]6th January 2012[/editline]

I hope I don't sound like I'm gloating or anything. I just think it'd benefit some people here to see how easy this can be if you're just not so caught up in your head.[/QUOTE]

You're allowed to gloat.

[Contag]

[QUOTE=Seith;34074806]You're allowed to gloat.[/QUOTE]

but gloat about what?
he asked for a girls number
she said yes

I don't think that's really gloating or bragging but more a of proclamation of "yes it actually really is simple"

[Dark RaveN]

[quote]stop caring
then she'll like you
but you'll be too much of a [/quote]

Lets see where this will go..

[Seith]

[QUOTE=Contag;34074827]but gloat about what?
he asked for a girls number
she said yes

I don't think that's really gloating or bragging but more a of proclamation of "yes it actually really is simple"[/QUOTE]

That's what I meant by that. He's allowed to feel the way he does.

[editline]6th January 2012[/editline]

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;34074671]Okay, getting to the desperation point.

Recently I've met this girl. Lets call her Angela. At first we had little interaction, but then we started to get used to each other really quick. We known each other for merely a week when she gave me a birthday present! That showed that she trusted me a lot already, and I was fine with it. I also visited her birthday, too. We became really close friends and hang out with her and my other friend really often (school holidays).

Now, the fucked up part. After her birthday It seems I.... Yeah, you guess it. The time when in friendship one of the parties gets in love. What even more fucked up is the following:

1) I never wanted to see her as something more. Maybe only in imagination, but really, I want to stay as friends, not something more.
2) She doesn't want a relationship.
3) Most probably I'm already in the Friend-Zone.
4) We're just good friends and that's all.

So the fuck should I do? I hope my love interest in her would fade after Monday when school starts, so we get to see less often and I might forget about it. But if it doesn't stop, what should I do? It drives me insane how I can control not to show love and passion towards her during midday only to suffer consequences of not getting to sleep well at night. Fuck![/QUOTE]

All I see right now is a lot of rambling. First, relax.

What you need to do is this;

Realize; Every time you think about her, is your own doing. You need to understand you have the power to control your mind. Thoughts run through it, sure, but you can choose when you want this to happen.

Understand; Why you feel the way yo do; Why would you fall "in love" with a woman you didn't want to have a romantic, long term relationship?

Find the answers; Find out why you do what I asked above. Find out how to deal with those feelings. Either mellow like a victim in your own sorrow and misery, or find a way to control what bothers you.

The answers; Seek out other women. Abundance Mentality. More women in your life, less need to cling to a certain one. We cling because our mind wants us to have women in our lives. When we don't, it clings to what we have. Same thing with a limited supply of food and water; when we don't have any, it changes our priorities in accordance to our primal needs.

I'll PM you something I PM'ed yesterday. Hopefully, you'll understand your needs and be able to control your emotions for the better.

[Behemoth_PT]

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;34074671]Okay, getting to the desperation point.

Recently I've met this girl. Lets call her Angela. At first we had little interaction, but then we started to get used to each other really quick. We known each other for merely a week when she gave me a birthday present! That showed that she trusted me a lot already, and I was fine with it. I also visited her birthday, too. We became really close friends and hang out with her and my other friend really often (school holidays).

Now, the fucked up part. After her birthday It seems I.... Yeah, you guess it. The time when in friendship one of the parties gets in love. What even more fucked up is the following:

1) I never wanted to see her as something more. Maybe only in imagination, but really, I want to stay as friends, not something more.
2) She doesn't want a relationship.
3) Most probably I'm already in the Friend-Zone.
4) We're just good friends and that's all.

So the fuck should I do? I hope my love interest in her would fade after Monday when school starts, so we get to see less often and I might forget about it. But if it doesn't stop, what should I do? It drives me insane how I can control not to show love and passion towards her during midday only to suffer consequences of not getting to sleep well at night. Fuck![/QUOTE]

If the situation is bugging you so much it's because you care. Otherwise you would have moved on, right?

[Dark RaveN]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;34075389]If the situation is bugging you so much it's because you care. Otherwise you would have moved on, right?[/QUOTE]

I dread to guess. Maybe I'm lying to myself thinking I do not want to have anything with her. First time crush (im 16 years old and its my first time!!!) and first time I'm in doubt what to do.

[dmillerw]

So, the girl I'm currently going out with happens to be my ex's Best friend. Probably not the smartest idea, but we're happy, so whatever. Problem is, the ex just posted this status on Facebook.

[QUOTE]Losing your best friend to your ex-boyfriend is just the worst thing in the world. :'([/QUOTE]

Now, two things here. One, we've been broken up for more than a year, so get the fuck over it. And two, she is being really fucking selfish by saying that, and it's making my girlfriend feel like shit because while she's happier then she's been in a long time, the fact that her happiness is making someone else feel bad, doesn't help.

Is there much I can do in this situation? Or just let them work it out...

[Seith]

You've got to rise above this and understand where this is coming from. You could call this selfish, maybe even childish, but this is not the case here actually.

She's having a hard time coping with this new fact because she's insecure. She "lost" a good friend to someone she used to date. You might even call her lonely. The fact she's not moving forward indicates living the past, unwillingness to let go - she has nobody else in her life, adding further more to this insecure behaviour.

I'd say you should have a chat with your girl friend and leave your ex alone. Further talking with her would make her think this works and she'll keep doing it, even more. Your girlfriend shouldn't feel bad.

[Contag]

[QUOTE=Dark_Light;34070115]The girl I was planning on asking out went away for two months on the day I was going to talk to her.
:<[/QUOTE]

well it's not like the outcome would have been different if you had talked to her the day before
unless you were like

"look at these rock hard abs, date me babe and wash your clothes with them"
[img]http://www.criticalbench.com/images/build-great-abs4.jpg[/img]
and then she'd be like "oh lord those abs are bigger than most people's biceps I'm cancelling going away"