The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v2 - General

My biggest fear is that I lose all my control to be calm again and my anger issues come back. That or being forever alone. They are pretty evenly tied.

[QUOTE=General Omega;34077075]My biggest fear is that I lose all my control to be calm again and my anger issues come back. That or being forever alone. They are pretty evenly tied.[/QUOTE] [url]http://www.elenasmodels.com/howto/buy-russian-bride.htm[/url] send them back before they get citizenship though [editline]7th January 2012[/editline] and no, it's not immoral because it's prostitution it's socioeconomic incentivizing

[QUOTE=Seith;34076587]You've got to rise above this and understand where this is coming from. You could call this selfish, maybe even childish, but this is not the case here actually. She's having a hard time coping with this new fact because she's insecure. She "lost" a good friend to someone she used to date. You might even call her lonely. The fact she's not moving forward indicates living the past, unwillingness to let go - she has nobody else in her life, adding further more to this insecure behaviour. I'd say you should have a chat with your girl friend and leave your ex alone. Further talking with her would make her think this works and she'll keep doing it, even more. Your girlfriend shouldn't feel bad.[/QUOTE] Appreciate the advice. We both know that she shouldn't worry about it, she just has a hard time not. I'm completely willing to just let her figure it out though. Not much else I can do really. The one thing that worries me is if my ex does try to intervene. She's been known to do that in the past. While I doubt she'd do any real damage, it would still put some unnecessary strain on things. Why can everyone in the world be reasonable, and just be glad that their friend is happy for the first time in a while.

[QUOTE=Contag;34076611]well it's not like the outcome would have been different if you had talked to her the day before unless you were like "look at these rock hard abs, date me babe and wash your clothes with them" [img]http://www.criticalbench.com/images/build-great-abs4.jpg[/img] and then she'd be like "oh lord those abs are bigger than most people's biceps I'm cancelling going away"[/QUOTE] Pretty much. [editline]7th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=dmillerw;34077188]Appreciate the advice. We both know that she shouldn't worry about it, she just has a hard time not. I'm completely willing to just let her figure it out though. Not much else I can do really. The one thing that worries me is if my ex does try to intervene. She's been known to do that in the past. While I doubt she'd do any real damage, it would still put some unnecessary strain on things. Why can everyone in the world be reasonable, and just be glad that their friend is happy for the first time in a while.[/QUOTE] I have a friend, let's call him Matt. Him and another friend of mine, Tim, were best friends since year 1. We were all friends throughout primary school and all graduated into the same high school together. At this point (year 7), Matt meets and starts crushing on a girl, Sarah. He spends the next ~5 years really crushing on her, getting quite close with her and even having sex. The whole thing was unclear though and she never really returned the feelings. Turns out she started liking his best friend i.e. Tim. They ended up getting together, and are now happily dating. Matt at first obviously didn't take it well. Him and Tim stopped talking for a few weeks, and he'd always get uncomfortable seeing them together. But after a while (and me awkwardly playing middle man between all three of them), he was able to see the situation maturely and understand that two of his closest friends were now happy with each other. Everything is pretty sweet now. My point is, this shit does happen, and it isn't ever anyone's fault. You can't control these things, people just fall for each other and things fall into place as they're meant to. Your ex is choosing to be somewhat immature about it though, and whilst it's understandable that she may feel betrayed and lonely, it's not fair on you guys for her to be trying anything or to be posting childish Facebook statuses. Aside from what Seith's already said, I would also try talk to some mutual friends you have with her and tell them the situation and that it'd be appreciated if they spoke to/hung out with your ex some more. I'm sure she has more friends than just you two. It'd also be worth sharing how you feel with your current girlfriend and explaining to her basically what's been said here; that it isn't her fault and that she shouldn't feel bad about it. Your ex will move on in due time.

god damnit she was out again I wanted to see a specific movie that's only playing this weekend at this smallish theater

[QUOTE=dmillerw;34077188]Appreciate the advice. We both know that she shouldn't worry about it, she just has a hard time not. I'm completely willing to just let her figure it out though. Not much else I can do really. The one thing that worries me is if my ex does try to intervene. She's been known to do that in the past. While I doubt she'd do any real damage, it would still put some unnecessary strain on things. Why can everyone in the world be reasonable, and just be glad that their friend is happy for the first time in a while.[/QUOTE] We tend to mourn about the things we don't have any more, or at all.

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;34074671]Okay, getting to the desperation point. Recently I've met this girl. Lets call her Angela. At first we had little interaction, but then we started to get used to each other really quick. We known each other for merely a week when she gave me a birthday present! That showed that she trusted me a lot already, and I was fine with it. I also visited her birthday, too. We became really close friends and hang out with her and my other friend really often (school holidays). Now, the fucked up part. After her birthday It seems I.... Yeah, you guess it. The time when in friendship one of the parties gets in love. What even more fucked up is the following: 1) I never wanted to see her as something more. Maybe only in imagination, but really, I want to stay as friends, not something more. 2) She doesn't want a relationship. 3) Most probably I'm already in the Friend-Zone. 4) We're just good friends and that's all. So the fuck should I do? I hope my love interest in her would fade after Monday when school starts, so we get to see less often and I might forget about it. But if it doesn't stop, what should I do? It drives me insane how I can control not to show love and passion towards her during midday only to suffer consequences of not getting to sleep well at night. Fuck![/QUOTE] Give the OP a read if you haven't already. Might take some things away from that.

dark raven, you're acting as if you're not control over your emotions at all, which is not a good way to go through life it makes you look irresponsible and lazy obviously there are some things beyond our control, but for the most part, its possible to get over someone, especially since you claim that you dont want to see her as more than a friend

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34077609]dark raven, you're acting as if you're not control over your emotions at all, which is not a good way to go through life it makes you look irresponsible and lazy obviously there are some things beyond our control, but for the most part, its possible to get over someone, especially since you claim that you dont want to see her as more than a friend[/QUOTE] Irresponsible? I mean, it makes sense, but it's not something you should call "easily maintained".

its not easy to maintain, but blaming all of your problems on the love bug biting you makes you seem like you're not willing to take responsibility for yourself youre just saying "oh well too bad I was hit by cupid nothing I can do!"

I just read up on this thread from the first page, and I'm asking why the fuck American Infantry hasn't asked that girl out yet. I read through the thread thinking "Now he's gonna post about it", but I didn't see a thing. I reckon that it's only about 10 in the morning where AI is right now, so I give you 6 hours before I want some drama. I hate time zones. Just do it, man. On a different note, an old friend of mine is returning from the states after 6 months, guess I'll invite him to a restaurant or something.

[QUOTE=GoDong-DK;34078041]I just read up on this thread from the first page, and I'm asking why the fuck American Infantry hasn't asked that girl out yet. I read through the thread thinking "Now he's gonna post about it", but I didn't see a thing. I reckon that it's only about 10 in the morning where AI is right now, so I give you 6 hours before I want some drama. I hate time zones. Just do it, man. On a different note, an old friend of mine is returning from the states after 6 months, guess I'll invite him to a restaurant or something.[/QUOTE] He posted in the shit that gets you mad thread that he's going to ask her out

[QUOTE=Mr. Smartass;34078083]He posted in the shit that gets you mad thread that he's going to ask her out[/QUOTE] Life only grants for those who wish to be granted it's gifts. [editline]6th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34078029]its not easy to maintain, but blaming all of your problems on the love bug biting you makes you seem like you're not willing to take responsibility for yourself youre just saying "oh well too bad I was hit by cupid nothing I can do!"[/QUOTE] I knew what you meant, I just had to point out responsibility in my eyes is very generalized and maybe somewhat unrelated. And as you know probably, I don't support being controlled by situations around me.

Leaving for the airport in a few minutes, on my way from Oregon to New Mexico. Almost time for basic. Last few days have been difficult trying to calm the lady

[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;34079326]Leaving for the airport in a few minutes, on my way from Oregon to New Mexico. Almost time for basic. Last few days have been difficult trying to calm the lady[/QUOTE] Military? enjoy the ride pal.

[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;34079326]Leaving for the airport in a few minutes, on my way from Oregon to New Mexico. Almost time for [B]basic[/B]. Last few days have been difficult trying to calm the [B]lady[/B][/QUOTE] oh lord [editline]7th January 2012[/editline] best of luck

Funny story from new years.. So I got the numbers of two girls I work with, they are both friends, one of them I find hot the other one I see more as a friend. I was at my own party and I ended up texting both of them, flirting with the hot one and more or less chatting with the other. So it turns out the hot one had a boyfriend already (I didn't say anything stupid), but the other one told me she liked me and then found out I was flirting up her friend. She's been posting annoying sad love quotes on facebook ever since, today is the first day I go back to work and see them both :v: Also an update from a month ago (for those who don't remember/don't give a shit, my girlfriend cheated on me then dumped me). Her best friend, which is a girl I dated way way back in elementary school (aka it doesn't count), who I haven't spoken to in about 4 years until two years ago. Anyway, she isn't friends with my ex anymore because she thought what she did to me was pretty disgusting, in fact my ex lost a lot of her friends but that's a whole other story. So yeah, since the breakup we've been talking almost everyday (she helped me out a lot during my mourning period), and I've been developing small feelings for her lately, we're supposed to go out for drinks soon. I don't want to make any moves for a while though because I don't want her to feel like a rebound, there also isn't any rush to get back into a relationship anyway.

[QUOTE=Dirtydeagle;34080156]Funny story from new years.. So I got the numbers of two girls I work with, they are both friends, one of them I find hot the other one I see more as a friend. I was at my own party and I ended up texting both of them, flirting with the hot one and more or less chatting with the other. So it turns out the hot one had a boyfriend already (I didn't say anything stupid), but the other one told me she liked me and then found out I was flirting up her friend. She's been posting annoying sad love quotes on facebook ever since, today is the first day I go back to work and see them both :v: Also an update from a month ago (for those who don't remember/don't give a shit, my girlfriend cheated on me then dumped me). Her best friend, which is a girl I dated way way back in elementary school (aka it doesn't count), who I haven't spoken to in about 4 years until two years ago. Anyway, she isn't friends with my ex anymore because she thought what she did to me was pretty disgusting, in fact my ex lost a lot of her friends but that's a whole other story. So yeah, since the breakup we've been talking almost everyday (she helped me out a lot during my mourning period), and I've been developing small feelings for her lately, we're supposed to go out for drinks soon. I don't want to make any moves for a while though because I don't want her to feel like a rebound, there also isn't any rush to get back into a relationship anyway.[/QUOTE] You're on the right path. A few things I'd like you to reconsider though: 1. Excellent you've engaged yourself with two different women. Have fun at work, be casual. You were just talking anyways, right? :) 2. "don't give a shit", "cheated", "dumped". I realize you're upset, but there's no need on your side to be so negative about it. You might say you are not negative, and everything is going great and yet you still use negative connections when you speak of her. Don't do that, she just couldn't handle how awesome you were so she had to downgrade. 3. Take into account, she was quite the emotional doll for a while.. (her best friend) rest I leave to you I guess. Good luck!

You guys want good news? I asked her out. Bad news? She said no. Oh well. Her loss.

[QUOTE=AmericanInfantry;34080825]You guys want good news? I asked her out. Bad news? She said no. Oh well. Her loss.[/quote] hey look, you took a step forward well done

I'm glad I actually took you guys' advice rather than sit on my ass.

I just can't keep it for myself anymore... I recently used the train to get home(takes about 4 hours). I sat next to two girls from my class in vocational school. With one of them I talked more than with anyone else in one year. We pretty much talked about everything, when I started watching new game trailers she asked me what I was watching... I told her and then SHE asked me if she could watch some of them. I have no idea how I should interpret the following: First she started off with "Oh my god, this looks so awesome." after some time it turned into "I would be so overstrained if I would need to play any of these games.", she finally asked me then how I am able to multi-task like that. Side Note: She's more into sports and doesn't do a lot with computers outside of her job. Basicly she is the total opposite of me(She likes doing sports, I completly don't, loads of other bs). I'm worried, since she god damn has a BF. Help meh...

Uh She's just interested in the same things you are, dude. And she's comfortable enough to talk to you about things. Don't jump to "OH MAN SHE WANTS ME". Just wait and see.

I would rate this UBER WINNER if I could. This is immense, good job! I'd really like to hear a detailed report...

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;34076146]I dread to guess. Maybe I'm lying to myself thinking I do not want to have anything with her. First time crush (im 16 years old and its my first time!!!) and first time I'm in doubt what to do.[/QUOTE] I fell in love too with a friend of mine in July, we broke up in September and it was pretty bad. I actually told the story somewhere in the "Sex, Girlfriends and Shit II" topic. However we haven't talked since. She just rushed back to her ex and I didn't want to be part of it. It ended up pretty bad, she won't talk to me although she was a bitch by using me and it costed me greatly for losing a friend like her. However, nobody knows the day of tomorrow and people just don't escape nor disappear, and by being in the situation if you ask me, I would do it again. Even though you can breakup in a bad way, you'll have very dear and precious moments you wouldn't have otherwise. Just go for it if your gut tells you to.

[QUOTE=jonoPorter;34080995]I just can't keep it for myself anymore... I recently used the train to get home(takes about 4 hours). I sat next to two girls from my class in vocational school. With one of them I talked more than with anyone else in one year. We pretty much talked about everything, when I started watching new game trailers she asked me what I was watching... I told her and then SHE asked me if she could watch some of them. I have no idea how I should interpret the following: First she started off with "Oh my god, this looks so awesome." after some time it turned into "I would be so overstrained if I would need to play any of these games.", she finally asked me then how I am able to multi-task like that. Side Note: She's more into sports and doesn't do a lot with computers outside of her job. Basicly she is the total opposite of me(She likes doing sports, I completly don't, loads of other bs). I'm worried, since she god damn has a BF. Help meh...[/QUOTE] Its a female having a conversation with you and just being curious with what your up to, friendly chit chat.

To previous people about my inability to control emotions: let me elaborate. Its on the other hand easy for me to control my emotions. Its just that this kind of crush hit me for the first time, and it was hard for me to realise what it was. After getting all my shit up, rechecking my actions I came to conclusion that it really is love. Guess ill start it from here and try getting her heart. Thank you again, Seith.

[QUOTE] I have a friend, let's call him Matt. Him and another friend of mine, Tim, were best friends since year 1. We were all friends throughout primary school and all graduated into the same high school together. At this point (year 7), Matt meets and starts crushing on a girl, Sarah. He spends the next ~5 years really crushing on her, getting quite close with her and even having sex. The whole thing was unclear though and she never really returned the feelings. Turns out she started liking his best friend i.e. Tim. They ended up getting together, and are now happily dating. Matt at first obviously didn't take it well. Him and Tim stopped talking for a few weeks, and he'd always get uncomfortable seeing them together. But after a while (and me awkwardly playing middle man between all three of them), he was able to see the situation maturely and understand that two of his closest friends were now happy with each other. Everything is pretty sweet now. My point is, this shit does happen, and it isn't ever anyone's fault. You can't control these things, people just fall for each other and things fall into place as they're meant to. Your ex is choosing to be somewhat immature about it though, and whilst it's understandable that she may feel betrayed and lonely, it's not fair on you guys for her to be trying anything or to be posting childish Facebook statuses. Aside from what Seith's already said, I would also try talk to some mutual friends you have with her and tell them the situation and that it'd be appreciated if they spoke to/hung out with your ex some more. I'm sure she has more friends than just you two. It'd also be worth sharing how you feel with your current girlfriend and explaining to her basically what's been said here; that it isn't her fault and that she shouldn't feel bad about it. Your ex will move on in due time.[/QUOTE] She definitely has more people to hang out with, and more often than not, it was my girlfriend being left alone. Im betting that one of the main problems, is that its me in the first place. The breakup did NOT go well for her, I really didn't handle it like I should of. Point is, I wonder if its her hated for me that's fueling this, at least partiallut. [editline]6th January 2012[/editline] In any case, my girlfriend knowz my opinions, and shares them for the most part. I'm sure she'll be able to figure out what all is going on, and hopefully resolve it in some way. At least, I'd hope so. I do appreciate the insight, so thanks.

[QUOTE=AmericanInfantry;34080948]I'm glad I actually took you guys' advice rather than sit on my ass.[/QUOTE] See, it's not the end of the world at all.

[QUOTE=Seith;34074336]What were the details of that conversation? were you completely oblivious of her and she said that? [editline]6th January 2012[/editline] Being playful or actual pick-up? There's a huge difference. Playful would get you results, but picking up from a register... no. [editline]6th January 2012[/editline] You're not depressed. You've got the tools, make yourself use them. You remind me of myself back in the day. You're not depressed, you are feeling something everybody on planet Earth have had experiences with. [b]"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."[/b] you just don't know it yet, my friend...[/QUOTE] Definitely not trying to pick up, just talking to women in general Thing about cash registers is that noone really wants to chat, I know I certainly wouldn't at the store I' m working in - I'd just want to get out of it as soon as possible