The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v2 - General

I've read a book about body language :v: It's not too hard to learn, actually. Once you get the hang of "actions" (things like running fingers through hair, switching to a certain position when sitting, etc.) all you need to do is put them together. It's like connecting the dots

My friend keeps a baby picture of me in her wallet. What does this mean?

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34100263]I don't really ask it very much, I normally just say hi and ask how they're doing and I really don't understand what that has to do with anything, or why I'd need your approval in order to ask it if I felt like it where do you come off judging people based on posts like these?[/QUOTE] I said it as a joke. You taking it not as a joke, says what I tried to say perfectly. [editline]8th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=sonny99;34102782]I'm awful at having small talk with anyone, guy or girl. Anyone have any advice on how to small talk better?[/QUOTE] Talk. A lot. Trust me, you'll get the hang of it. [editline]8th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=General Omega;34106587]Body language is almost everything in a conversation imo. You can get so much info from just a person standing that it is ridiculous.[/QUOTE] I think it becomes really interesting when you're able to piece body language together to his/her tonality and words. Even the slightest change makes a whole conversation differently. I got hired into this job a week ago. At first, I wasn't sure whether I will get in or not. So we had a little chat, the employer and me, and at one point she said "when you get hired..." and threw a snapshot smile into those words. After that, I knew I would get in.

[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;34082116]To previous people about my inability to control emotions: let me elaborate. Its on the other hand easy for me to control my emotions. Its just that this kind of crush hit me for the first time, and it was hard for me to realise what it was. After getting all my shit up, rechecking my actions I came to conclusion that it really is love. Guess ill start it from here and try getting her heart. Thank you again, Seith.[/QUOTE] To continue this piece of sad story, just yesterday she talked to her best friend about me and is actually waiting for my turn to start relationship. Guess this just started boys.

[QUOTE=Makol;34106899]My friend keeps a baby picture of me in her wallet. What does this mean?[/QUOTE] She want that baby dick. Shave and give it to her clean. [editline]8th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Dark RaveN;34108516]To continue this piece of sad story, just yesterday she talked to her best friend about me and is actually waiting for my turn to start relationship. Guess this just started boys.[/QUOTE] Take things easy and not so serious bro. If its the love you profess things shouldn't be so hard.

Would it be pretty obvious once you were past the infatuation/honeymoon stage?

[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34102943]what are you talking about?? im really confused[/QUOTE] Weren't you talking about a girl from your school. There was this whole story about you being sick and then her being sick? Don't tell me I'm confusing things... [editline]8th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Dark RaveN;34108516]To continue this piece of sad story, just yesterday she talked to her best friend about me and is actually waiting for my turn to start relationship. Guess this just started boys.[/QUOTE] So the relationship is starting thanks to your friend? That's like you letting him/her taking care of things while you're out.

I'm so frustrated I don't even have words for it. My boyfriend is in uni. The first year was hard on him, because he's a smart guy, so he has always been used to not doing anything to get good grades. However, first year of uni really made him realise that with no work, he only barely passes the classes. When I say no work, I mean literally no work. He went to classes sometimes, when he managed to get out of bed, he didn't open any of the books during the semesters, and he barely studied for his exams. Passing with THAT little effort shows that he's smart, however, he said he'd pull together this year. However, he hasn't. At all. He has an exam tomorrow at 9, but he only started studying for it NOW, and it's almost 16 a clock. It makes me so sad to see him waste his potential, and I know it'll come back to bite him in the ass in the future when he's going to apply for a job. I'm so conflicted because one part of me want to comfort him and tell him that it's going to be all right but another part of me just want to tell him to get his shit together - but no matter how many times I try to motivate him, he never changes his attitude towards studying. I'm at loss, I really don't know what to do about it, but I know something needs to be done, however, it doesn't seem like he's able to do it alone, even though he's the only one who can do something about it.

[QUOTE=SaWAH;34111000]I'm so frustrated I don't even have words for it. My boyfriend is in uni. The first year was hard on him, because he's a smart guy, so he has always been used to not doing anything to get good grades. However, first year of uni really made him realise that with no work, he only barely passes the classes. When I say no work, I mean literally no work. He went to classes sometimes, when he managed to get out of bed, he didn't open any of the books during the semesters, and he barely studied for his exams. Passing with THAT little effort shows that he's smart, however, he said he'd pull together this year. However, he hasn't. At all. He has an exam tomorrow at 9, but he only started studying for it NOW, and it's almost 16 a clock. It makes me so sad to see him waste his potential, and I know it'll come back to bite him in the ass in the future when he's going to apply for a job. I'm so conflicted because one part of me want to comfort him and tell him that it's going to be all right but another part of me just want to tell him to get his shit together - but no matter how many times I try to motivate him, he never changes his attitude towards studying. I'm at loss, I really don't know what to do about it, but I know something needs to be done, however, it doesn't seem like he's able to do it alone, even though he's the only one who can do something about it.[/QUOTE] Whatever you do dont give into the temptation of trying to 'help him' fix his studying if he hasn't asked for the help

[QUOTE=SaWAH;34111000]I'm so frustrated I don't even have words for it. My boyfriend is in uni. The first year was hard on him, because he's a smart guy, so he has always been used to not doing anything to get good grades. However, first year of uni really made him realise that with no work, he only barely passes the classes. When I say no work, I mean literally no work. He went to classes sometimes, when he managed to get out of bed, he didn't open any of the books during the semesters, and he barely studied for his exams. Passing with THAT little effort shows that he's smart, however, he said he'd pull together this year. However, he hasn't. At all. He has an exam tomorrow at 9, but he only started studying for it NOW, and it's almost 16 a clock. It makes me so sad to see him waste his potential, and I know it'll come back to bite him in the ass in the future when he's going to apply for a job. I'm so conflicted because one part of me want to comfort him and tell him that it's going to be all right but another part of me just want to tell him to get his shit together - but no matter how many times I try to motivate him, he never changes his attitude towards studying. I'm at loss, I really don't know what to do about it, but I know something needs to be done, however, it doesn't seem like he's able to do it alone, even though he's the only one who can do something about it.[/QUOTE] You love him, right? You can only do so much, but you are probably the one person he will believe most. He is paying for education, tell him to get his shit in a row. If he doesn't want to, just remind him about why he is in uni. You can't [I]make[/I] him do well, but you can try.

[QUOTE=SaWAH;34111000]I'm so frustrated I don't even have words for it. My boyfriend is in uni. The first year was hard on him, because he's a smart guy, so he has always been used to not doing anything to get good grades. However, first year of uni really made him realise that with no work, he only barely passes the classes. When I say no work, I mean literally no work. He went to classes sometimes, when he managed to get out of bed, he didn't open any of the books during the semesters, and he barely studied for his exams. Passing with THAT little effort shows that he's smart, however, he said he'd pull together this year. However, he hasn't. At all. He has an exam tomorrow at 9, but he only started studying for it NOW, and it's almost 16 a clock. It makes me so sad to see him waste his potential, and I know it'll come back to bite him in the ass in the future when he's going to apply for a job. I'm so conflicted because one part of me want to comfort him and tell him that it's going to be all right but another part of me just want to tell him to get his shit together - but no matter how many times I try to motivate him, he never changes his attitude towards studying. I'm at loss, I really don't know what to do about it, but I know something needs to be done, however, it doesn't seem like he's able to do it alone, even though he's the only one who can do something about it.[/QUOTE] I know exactly what that is like for him. I have no idea what type of learning style he has so I cant really say anything to that, but it may be that he does not really have to study but just get the info fresh in his mind. But as far as homework, for me being yelled at is enough. He might just not have a good short or long term goal that motivates him to do well. The first term for me was hell because I was pushing how far my old style of working done in uni (not at all) and next term I know what to do.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;34110631]Weren't you talking about a girl from your school. There was this whole story about you being sick and then her being sick? Don't tell me I'm confusing things... [/QUOTE] oh yeah I guess I never thought of that as me handling a situation though, I was just frustrated because I hadn't seen her in a few weeks [editline]8th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Seith;34107508]I said it as a joke. You taking it not as a joke, says what I tried to say perfectly. [/QUOTE] how does me not taking it as a joke mean that I ask people "what are you doing here?"

That awkward moment when the girl who has been a stranger to you since you've known her offers to buy you dinner and you realize how hot she is

[QUOTE=SaWAH;34111000]I'm so frustrated I don't even have words for it. My boyfriend is in uni. The first year was hard on him, because he's a smart guy, so he has always been used to not doing anything to get good grades. However, first year of uni really made him realise that with no work, he only barely passes the classes. When I say no work, I mean literally no work. He went to classes sometimes, when he managed to get out of bed, he didn't open any of the books during the semesters, and he barely studied for his exams. Passing with THAT little effort shows that he's smart, however, he said he'd pull together this year. However, he hasn't. At all. He has an exam tomorrow at 9, but he only started studying for it NOW, and it's almost 16 a clock. It makes me so sad to see him waste his potential, and I know it'll come back to bite him in the ass in the future when he's going to apply for a job. I'm so conflicted because one part of me want to comfort him and tell him that it's going to be all right but another part of me just want to tell him to get his shit together - but no matter how many times I try to motivate him, he never changes his attitude towards studying. I'm at loss, I really don't know what to do about it, but I know something needs to be done, however, it doesn't seem like he's able to do it alone, even though he's the only one who can do something about it.[/QUOTE] I had a similar problem 2 years ago that made me stumble across my 1st year so much that it has already been 2 years in uni for me and I'm still in the 1st year because of that. I only passed the math subjects and I'm now in Calculus 4. Yet I still have C programing, electric circuits and Digital Sistems I to do in order to pass my 1st year. I actually had no motivation for studying either. Now I'm kinda suffering for my idiocy as I see my friends passing while I stay behind. It can be many things to cause that, in my case it was a stupid phase: I only cared about sex, drugs and rock n roll (yeah, literally), that and a strong dependence of internet, games and TV and there I was the average depressed slob that wandered around the university campus. That really depressed me a lot. I felt alone, with no help, I started having doubts about my course and I used drugs and concerts to escape all that (that and some crazy relationship with a girl back then). I then quit uni for a while, I thought I couldn't do it and I went looking for work last semester without my parents knowing that I did. I lacked fulfillment and uni was bringing me down. When my parents knew there was another argument about, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt like everybody was expecting too much from me and I didn't know if what I was doing was really making me happy at the time, because all I felt was pressure from my colleges and parents. Now you may be asking where I'm trying to get at, right? You should do something since he's your boyfriends, that's for sure. Just don't pressure him, be there to listen to him without being condescending to him. Then you should find out why he's not studying nor revising his notes when he arrives home. (regular study and exercising is the easiest and less harsh way to keep in shape for exams). Find out what he's constantly doing at the time he's suppose to be studying, either if it's internet, games, tv... etc... Help him getting a study plan or finding partners for him to study with even if it means you studying some of the matters in order to help him study. Stimulate his will and dynamic. One very helpful thing is making him feel good about himself and I would advise you to join him in some sport activity for example or another fulfilling activity you may enjoy. The problem is that when a person stops he tends to become lazier and lazier. On the other hand if he starts moving, being occupied, he will have another dynamic and vision to deal with university head on. Try this: Analyze what's the problem with him. Identify why he's stuck or what he's stuck on and get him away from that for a while. Then motivate him to try something new. Don't let he fall into a routine because it will certainly extend to your relationship. It's up to ourselves to deal with our problems head on, but if we have friends and family there it's a big step. I got out of my never ending cycle with sports and finding work partners instead of drinking budies and I promised myself to never quit a subject if it starts to get difficult. But I didn't do it all by myself. I got help from my girlfriend, my family and my friends and I can see that you're very dedicated to your man. He must be very lucky to have someone like you.

[QUOTE=Ladowerf;34113585]That awkward moment when the girl who has been a stranger to you since you've known her offers to buy you dinner and you realize how hot she is[/QUOTE] I wish she is as smart and funny as she is hot.

[QUOTE=SaWAH;34111000]I'm so frustrated I don't even have words for it. My boyfriend is in uni. The first year was hard on him, because he's a smart guy, so he has always been used to not doing anything to get good grades. However, first year of uni really made him realise that with no work, he only barely passes the classes. When I say no work, I mean literally no work. He went to classes sometimes, when he managed to get out of bed, he didn't open any of the books during the semesters, and he barely studied for his exams. Passing with THAT little effort shows that he's smart, however, he said he'd pull together this year. However, he hasn't. At all. He has an exam tomorrow at 9, but he only started studying for it NOW, and it's almost 16 a clock. It makes me so sad to see him waste his potential, and I know it'll come back to bite him in the ass in the future when he's going to apply for a job. I'm so conflicted because one part of me want to comfort him and tell him that it's going to be all right but another part of me just want to tell him to get his shit together - but no matter how many times I try to motivate him, he never changes his attitude towards studying. I'm at loss, I really don't know what to do about it, but I know something needs to be done, however, it doesn't seem like he's able to do it alone, even though he's the only one who can do something about it.[/QUOTE] I had this exact problem, except my boyfriend wasn't just lacking the motivation to do well in school, he was lacking the motivation to do ANYTHING. Had to break it off with him because of it.

I'm not saying this in a sexist way because it's a good thing, but women hate routine and inaction.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;34117982]I'm not saying this in a sexist way because it's a good thing, but women hate routine and inaction.[/QUOTE] what on earth makes you think that? or think that you have any right to say it like it's fact?

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;34117982]I'm not saying this in a sexist way because it's a good thing, but women hate routine and inaction.[/QUOTE] what hahahahaha

[QUOTE=AmericanInfantry;34080825]You guys want good news? I asked her out. Bad news? She said no. Oh well. Her loss.[/QUOTE] FUCKING FINALLY! Congrats on actually doing it!

[QUOTE=Raptor;34111571]You love him, right? You can only do so much, but you are probably the one person he will believe most. He is paying for education, tell him to get his shit in a row. If he doesn't want to, just remind him about why he is in uni. You can't [I]make[/I] him do well, but you can try.[/QUOTE] I really don't like the idea that the girlfriend has to be the one to push him to do the things that he wouldn't do otherwise. The way I see it, study and work is a sphere in his life which is separate from relationships until you are living together, and paying bills together, etc. Unless his lack of motivation in study and work begins to affect your happiness with the relationship itself then leave it imo. Being in a relationship with a person who constantly tries to push you into studying more, working harder and keeps trying to make you get your shit together is absolutely fucking horrible. I was in one for a year and it was pretty much soul destroying, because it can do some serious damage to your self-esteem to know that a person whose opinion matters a lot to you thinks you're wasting your life to the extent where they have to step in and try to 'fix' you. Often it can make you even more reluctant to acknowledge the problem. It creates a lot of hostility in the relationship and is a really, really bad idea. That said, you obviously dont have to put up with him being sad about it if its his fault. If he does come complaining theres nothing to stop you from being like "Well whose fault is that, why dont you just fix it next time but its not my problem, its yours" and try to be motivational and stuff but on no account should the matter be pushed further than it needs to go. Helping is fine, motivating is fine, getting frustrated and trying to [i]make[/i] him do well is not

I disagree, I think by that stage in a relationship the other person's problems are going to start to become your own. You can't just be like "awww I love you so much let's hold hands and have sex and go on dates but please don't talk about your [I]actual[/I] life around me." I can understand where Sawah is coming from in saying that his lack of motivation is starting to affect her on a personal level. Unfortunately though when it comes to situations like these, the saying, "you can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink," begins to go through your head a lot. There's only so much you can do but in the end it's on them to make their own decisions whilst really all you can do is be as supportive and as assertive as you can. Saying that though, if I were a girl I'd go with the ~booty lock down~ approach.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;34117982]I'm not saying this in a sexist way because it's a good thing, but women hate routine and inaction.[/QUOTE] I'm not saying this in a racist way or anything, but white people are really attractive and smart (I would know, I'm white) [editline]9th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Ladowerf;34113585]That awkward moment when the girl who has been a stranger to you since you've known her offers to buy you dinner and you realize how hot she is[/QUOTE] The awkward moment when you take the dinner and leave because her personality is so bland you didn't even notice she was physically attractive [editline]9th January 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Dark_Light;34121181] Saying that though, if I were a girl I'd go with the ~booty lock down~ approach.[/QUOTE] horses would be drowning themselves if all they had to do was drink some water to get at a young fine filly

[QUOTE=Dark_Light;34121181]I disagree, I think by that stage in a relationship the other person's problems are going to start to become your own. You can't just be like "awww I love you so much let's hold hands and have sex and go on dates but please don't talk about your [I]actual[/I] life around me." I can understand where Sawah is coming from in saying that his lack of motivation is starting to affect her on a personal level. Unfortunately though when it comes to situations like these, the saying, "you can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink," begins to go through your head a lot. There's only so much you can do but in the end it's on them to make their own decisions whilst really all you can do is be as supportive and as assertive as you can. Saying that though, if I were a girl I'd go with the ~booty lock down~ approach.[/QUOTE] Encourage, sure and be willing to make your views known but don't go all rambo on his ass is more what I mean - pushing too hard just ruins things. I suppose for me its not what I want because of the context which I experienced it in which is definitely a lot different to sawahs. So maybe that has something to do with it and maybe it is justified in this situation, but I really don't like the idea

Got friendzoned. Again. What now FP?

Read OP.

[QUOTE=Fish_poke;34123433]Got friendzoned. Again. What now FP?[/QUOTE] once attaining the characteristic of "friendzone", you may have access to proximate female individuals

[QUOTE=Contag;34123748]once attaining the characteristic of "friendzone", you may have access to proximate female individuals[/QUOTE] Proximate females have also Friendzoned me.

Find other females.

[QUOTE=Makol;34123866]Find other females.[/QUOTE] Best choice of action. However, acquisition of targets appears to have a high chance of failure. It would appear most are taken and/or disinterested.