[QUOTE=seano12;33683675]No? That's just to help me cum.[/QUOTE]
So... You would not like to fuck those people you get sexually turned on by?
How... How in the hell do you get turned on by them then?
[QUOTE=dgg;33684160]So... You would not like to fuck those people you get sexually turned on by?
How... How in the hell do you get turned on by them then?[/QUOTE]
Alright I see your point. There is a line between wanting to screw someone and wanting to be with someone now that I think about it. Like when you see some hot girl at school your instincts tell you that you wanna tap dat, or when you meet a girl you get along with well. Of course instinctively I'd like to bone some of those slutty porn actors if I had the chance.
I was stating I wouldn't have sex with someone unless I was already in a relationship with that person. I suppose I did contradict myself when I said "I hate meaningless sex" yet I watch some stupid ass porno. But there's also a line between watching sex and practicing it. When I watch it I don't think of any of this. When I do it.... wait I've never done it....
So... You agree with me then? It's very different to want to fuck a person and want to be with a person.
Because I don't want meaningless sex as well. Got to be with someone you care about for me.
I don't trust guys who don't watch porn.
Or, I don't trust guys who don't admit to watching porn...It makes me wonder if they are ashamed or hiding something about their sexuality and that in and of itself can lead to addiction and promiscuity.
Yes it's fine. Provided you aren't viewing live porn and getting into some sort of relationship with the people involved.
i can see why a girl would have a problem with it, but jesus christ get over it, if you're going to talk about how you're "not in the mood," then expect your man to find some other way to relieve the pressure
abso fine aslong as its hot porn and not mingers groping each other
It's up to each couple to decide. I'd get crazy if I didn't get to watch porn. The Menstruation and PMS period is lasting way to long for me to wait till i get something.
Why is cheating a bad thing again?
[QUOTE=Oicani Gonzales;33913037]Because most people are monogamic?[/QUOTE]
Bluh, people should grow up and learn to spread the love <3
Me and my girlfriend have great sex, but she hates the fact that I've watched porn.
I mean, I can understand her view on it. It's lust for someone else, isn't it?
You see some guy fucking a girl in the ass, and it's turning you on.
I'm not looking at it and thinking "oh, fuck yes. I'd love to fuck just that particular woman in her asshole. That EXACT asshole, that EXACT woman". But I think that she sees it that way.
Another woman is making me want to jerk off. Someone else than HER is turning me on.
Knowing all this, how should I justify my actions? I can say that there are no deep feelings involved, and that I love her, and that I would never cheat on her. But she's stubborn, and has a temper, and I don't think discussing it will lead to anything good. I haven't watched porn ever since I got into a relationship with her, because the sex is fucking awesome. But it's a distance relationship, and it gets lonely after a couple of weeks without seeing her. I still haven't watched any porn, but I've thought about it. I know some of you will think "just tell her, dickhead. if she doesn't like it, then fuck that stubborn bitch." See, this thread interests me alot, because it reminds me of all the situations where I've sacrificed all kinds of shit for people. I've never demanded anything in a relationship, but I've sacrificed many things for people I've cared about. So this interests me alot.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If I ever want to watch porn, how should I justify it to a stubborn person like this?
Sexual desire is a base instinct, and satisfying it just makes sense. Sometimes, it is inconvenient or impossible for a person in a committed relationship to get that satisfaction from their partner, so they must satisfy themselves. Now, due to the way we're "put together," we need both physical and mental stimulation to reach orgasm. When the partner is not available, there is nothing wrong or even shameful about using a third party to aid in stimulation, AS LONG AS there is no physical (STIs, pregnancy) or mental (emotional attachment) risk to the couple. And that right there is why pornography is not "cheating;" there is no risk of the first, and extremely little risk of the second.
[QUOTE=Benstokes;33914179]Sexual desire is a base instinct, and satisfying it just makes sense. Sometimes, it is inconvenient or impossible for a person in a committed relationship to get that satisfaction from their partner, so they must satisfy themselves. Now, due to the way we're "put together," we need both physical and mental stimulation to reach orgasm. When the partner is not available, there is nothing wrong or even shameful about using a third party to aid in stimulation, AS LONG AS there is no physical (STIs, pregnancy) or mental (emotional attachment) risk to the couple. And that right there is why pornography is not "cheating;" there is no risk of the first, and extremely little risk of the second.[/QUOTE]
I fully agree with you, but I don't think my girlfriend will ever accept that. I think that to her, I'll come off as a cold hearted asshole.
Then again, if I were ever to present this argument (which is really how I view the matter), and she refuses to accept it; Does that mean she doesn't really trust and love me?
Fuck.. Why can't people just accept eachother for what they are?
As long as you aren't lying about doing it (not counting just choosing not to tell her, I mean like if she asks you and you say no) I'd say that it should be fine.
[QUOTE=Pampers;33914310]I fully agree with you, but I don't think my girlfriend will ever accept that. I think that to her, I'll come off as a cold hearted asshole.
Then again, if I were ever to present this argument (which is really how I view the matter), and she refuses to accept it; Does that mean she doesn't really trust and love me?
Fuck.. Why can't people just accept eachother for what they are?[/QUOTE]
If she truly doesn't accept/understand that argument, then I'd say that she's too stupid and/or irrational for me, personally, to be attracted to. But then again, lots of people are irrational about random stuff; she might be a very nice person, just a little bit touchy on the pornography issue, perhaps for some historical reason? Whatever the reason, you should talk to her more about it, and try to come to some sort of mutual understanding of your opinions and desires for the future.
[QUOTE=Pampers;33914310]
Fuck.. Why can't people just accept eachother for what they are?[/QUOTE]
If she doesn't trust you to not find some woman on tv screen more attractive, well... you have a problem.
I have tons of irrational emotions and phobias myself. Coulrophobia, for instance.
But yeah, we should talk more about it, of course.
gufu: I've created that problem in her, haven't I?
I guess the conclusion,for me, here is that she's afraid me watching porn will push her out of the relationship in a way. Sexual desires are very intimate. Now, I don't have a porn addiction, and I haven't watched any for a long time, but if I feel the need for it, I should just tell her how I feel about it. Also, I can imagine being in her position; You're hopelessly in love with someone, but the other person gets off on watching someone else than you. Why can't you be the one and only, best person? It's a touchy subject, really.
[QUOTE=Splarg!;33559295]I can't believe this is a serious discussion. If your partner doesn't like it, they have a problem.
If fapping to porn was the same thing no one would bother with sexual partners.[/QUOTE]Agreed 100%.
It sounds ridiculous to me to continue a relationship with an individual that controlling. I mean what the fuck is this 1870?
[QUOTE=Pampers;33918471]
gufu: I've created that problem in her, haven't I?
[/QUOTE]
Unless you previously in some way have clearly shown that you would switch your attention away from her, no, you really didn't create any problem.
If you are afraid that your partner is going to elave yuo, something is terribly wrong. It is not a default stance that you should have towards your partner.
Oh, and just as an experiment I would suggest suggesting to watch porn together.
-[[B]REMOVED[/B]]
It's not. It's ridiculous to think it is, and only shows signs of jealousy. When I fap it doesn't mean I want to be with the girl I'm fapping too. Its a hollow attraction to the outside and nothing more than that for about 5-10 minutes.
[QUOTE=Dr. Disciple;33959055]It's not. It's ridiculous to think it is, and only shows signs of jealousy. When I fap it doesn't mean I want to be with the girl I'm fapping too. Its a hollow attraction to the outside and nothing more than that for about 5-10 minutes.[/QUOTE]
But why not fap with the girl as part of foreplay?
[QUOTE=gufu;33959113]But why not fap with the girl as part of foreplay?[/QUOTE]
Because you're :pun: explicitly refusing their body right in front of them. Hell if you need a hand take hers, she won't mind.
I hardly think "refusing your partner's body" is the issue, Its people being controlling and thinking that if they're not in the mood for sex then their partner shouldn't be either. I look at porn when my significant other doesn't feel like getting jiggy with it and he doesn't have a problem with it, and vise versa.
[QUOTE=J$ Psychotic;33959534]Because you're :pun: explicitly refusing their body right in front of them. Hell if you need a hand take hers, she won't mind.[/QUOTE]
If it gets us worked up, sure I don't see a problem with it. Our sex benefits, so it's fine with the both of us really. It's not like we're at risk of falling for the porn stars
I don't think it's cheating as I always lose interest in whatever I'm watching the second I'm done. I don't however lose interest in my GF. So obviously that means that porn is simply a means to an end, a tool you use then discard at your convenience.
Some couples use porn to enhance their sexual life i.e. as discussed before foreplay.
I find though that if some guy/gal is watching porn while still in a committed relationship I feel it's not cheating but wrong.
Me and my wife watch it together occasionally. She is also aware that I use it when we can't b together during a small period of time for whatever reason.
If both partners agree that it is acceptable then its fine.
If they agree that is it is unacceptable it is wrong.
Surely the only people that can set rules for a relationship are the people actually in it?
Totally acceptable. Better to watch porn then to cheat on her with another woman.
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