Facepunch Anonymous Confessional: We know you stuck a banana in your ass
162 replies, posted
If I spent more than 5 minutes writing a response to the 24th email I got about some guy boning his cousin I probably would have gone insane
[QUOTE=Kardia;45739559][B]Woop! woop![/B] [I]That's the sound of da police![/I]
What a tune.... Anyway...
So far this thread is pretty mild. I mean. You can't actually be honest about reasonably serious confessions online. People have the potential to get your confession. Learn your secrets.[/QUOTE]
at a confession about someone goin at their sister
"oh this is mild"
I cried once
[QUOTE=a dumb bear;45748839]I cried once[/QUOTE]
You should submit this
[QUOTE=Hezzy;45744873]If I spent more than 5 minutes writing a response to the 24th email I got about some guy boning his cousin I probably would have gone insane[/QUOTE]
it's too late for me, go on alone
it might be more "10 minutes for a long serious confession with a long serious response" not to mention a decent amount of distractions that arise during response.
[quote=John Doe]Is it bad that i couldn't give two shits about getting a girlfriend? Seems like they're a big fucking hassle and I'm an extremely laid back dude. I'm almost 21 and I have never had a girlfriend and have only had a handful of female friends ever. I'm studying at Uni right now and have a few good friends and there's pressure from family/friends to get in a relationship but I'll pretty much be happy with my life as long as I have mates to chill with, video games and beer/weed.
What I want from people is someone to share moments with and interact with but it seems like my needs can be satisfied by simply having a few good mates.
Am I fucked in the head? Real talk here because everyone around me are getting into relationships but I just... don't care. I'm worried.[/quote]
nbd. Maybe you just haven't met the right girl? I don't know how you can be totally OK without human contact, masturbation can only take you so far.
[quote=John Doe]woo, never thought I'd write one.
Basically, I (can't say "like", more of "not dislike") hurting animals. Not maniacally, I mean I have a cat which loves me and I love her, but sometimes I squeeze her, you know, a little too hard.
When I was like 11, I had a hamster, and around that time is where it started to show. I liked to wrap the poor thing in my clothes, then swing it around or bump it against the walls, etc. I remember I noticed a red mark on my shirt once, same day he died.
I never received any kind of pleasure from it, more like I was weirdly interested in what would happen. I also liked to play scientist with live frogs and my swiss knife, I often shot birds or mice with my bb gun then play with its limp body, usually ending in me smashing it with a hammer and throwing it away. I never did any harmful things to my cat (and hopefully I never do), but still I often do things like wrap her in tape or attach a clothespin, just to see how she would do in that situation. Never told anyone until now.[/quote]
Uh... maybe you should try not being a nutjob? I understand the occasional painters tape or ballon on your cat, but wrapping it in tape or putting clothespins on it? Swinging your hamster around into walls and shit until it bleeds on your clothing?
There's "messing with animals" and then there's "torturing animals". If you've watched the TV show [U]Dexter[/U] you'll know that this is how he started, by torturing and mutilating animals like his neighbor's dog and shit.
You should probably get help so you don't mutilate any pets that people care about, like your cat or your neighbor's dog.
[quote=John Doe]A few years my life was in the shitter and I used the internet as my get-away, one day I made up a person that I'd be because I absolutely hated my actual self and did not want to be anything associated with the actual me, I acted as I normally would though, not too bad if you ask me, but then I got in too deep with it.
Everyone I met online was convinced that I was [name here], I actually had alot of friends who I played and talked with a ton, had best friends, even had a long distance relationship(with meetups, totally under the guise of [name here]), at the time I actually started believing that I was [name here] and was able to forget the real me, the me that I hated.
When my real life started looking up I began to see just how much of a douchebag and scum of the earth I was for spinning such a huge lie, I stressed every day thinking of a way to get out with minimal pain caused, I searched for ways to justify my actions but in the end, I never could.
Over the course of 3 years stuff happened and the illusion was shattered, I'll never know the pain I caused that girl that one day, nor will I ever have the chance or power to show her how sorry I am, regardless she continued on with me(I don't know why. She shouldn't have. It'd have spared her more pain and trouble, I agreed because I truly did love her and wanted to see if I could do anything to make it right)
The following weeks were emotional and mental torture, I felt so bad for what I'd done, to the girl, to my good friends, to everyone. I was slowly erasing every trace of [name here], and I came to realize that the relationship would never work out, so I left, causing only more pain to her, and she wanted to be with me, and didn't want to lose me, but I believe she was just afraid to be alone.
From then on out I've only been myself, real life and online, and only three people know if it for as far as I know, me, her and a friend who tracked me down because I was sloppy in erasing my traces, I've never forgiven myself and probably never will, I still spend nights awake thinking about how horrible it was of me.
But she's happy now, has a boyfriend and all, a changed person, and I'm glad that she's happy after the pain I put her through, I still send her a ''happy birthday'' message on her birthday which she seems to appreciate.
I don't know what happened to most of my friends, and I never will because I don't have the balls to contact them with the truth, nor do I think they'll care after 2 years.
well that felt sorta good to finally type off my chest.
[/quote]
In a way you either became that person or just developed a personality for them right?
You stopped being "who you used to be" and you became your online persona right?
And then one day you just abandoned it right?
Just making sure that I understand correctly.
[quote=John Doe]I searched for ways to justify my actions, but in the end I never could.[/quote]
I think that this sounds better, and if you need to maybe a semicolon after "end". That's just my opinion depending on how you want it to read. Not sure if fiction or fact or intended suspense.
[quote=John Doe]and only three people know if it for as far as I know[/quote]
Is that supposed to be "of"??? √abc
This is really hard to read on a grammatical level.
I'm not really sure if you just "stopped being your online persona" or what since you also say you talk to the girl still at least on her birthday? Did you actually break up with her or just call it quits?
To be completely honest they probably won't care? I mean why would they if they even remember who you are?
[quote=John Doe]I'm 18 years old, exactly 6ft and I weight a little over 200lbs. Thing is, I know I'm overweight and I really want to drop weight and gain some muscle, but I've got problems.
Whenever there's story of a fat person getting thin and they ask something like "What's stopping you?" and everyone's thinking "nothing's stopping me", I'm sat here thinking "Being born with screwed up joints and a thing with my brain that makes me put too much force onto them." Sound sound that bad, right?
From birth, I get tired quickly. My joints are constantly cracking and aching, sometimes slipping out a little bit. Nowadays as I try to eat I have to hold my jaw in place sometimes or else it has a painful crack, something that happens every time I yawn. Every step I take I feel like my left knee socket slips out a little. If I recall, when I was first diagnosed with all this stuff the doctors said something along the lines of "If I do some heavy exercise and I damage my joints even further, they'll be able to be dislocated from just a slap." That scares me.
I'm heading to university soon and I'll be applying for the gym, actively trying to get some exercise in. I enjoy walking but I'd never do it at home because I live in a really shitty neighbourhood.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just giving myself excuses to not get off my big ass and make it a smaller ass, but I still got those fears. Gonna try, though. Gonna try.[/quote]
Why haven't you tried a lower impact sport like swimming. You don't need to be competitive, but doing laps would surely help and shouldn't hurt? Chances are your school will have an indoor pool somewhere.
I don't understand what's been holding you back from working out. Why haven't you sought out a treadmill or gone somewhere to walk? You allegedly like walking.
It really does just sound like excuses dude! You should get out there and be active. Do whatever you want. Skateboard, roller skate/blade, walk, run, jog (pronounced yog), swim, snowboard, ski, cross country ski, lift, elliptical, row, kayak, climb, speed walk, hike (or as I like to call it "extreme walking"), dance, skydive, base jumping, parkour, freebasing, basketball, intramural sports (football, soccer, baseball, cricket, rugby, gymnastics, fight club), hoola hooping, fire dancing, meth, hop scotch, jump rope, double dutch jump rope, yelling for extended periods of time would probably work out your diaphragm, jillian michaels workout routine, p90x, Insanity®, lumberjack activities (timber team as a college organization), synchronized anything, walking to get your pizza. The possibilities for activities considered working out are practically endless!
[quote=John Doe]Is it bad that i couldn't give two shits about getting a girlfriend? Seems like they're a big fucking hassle and I'm an extremely laid back dude. I'm almost 21 and I have never had a girlfriend and have only had a handful of female friends ever. I'm studying at Uni right now and have a few good friends and there's pressure from family/friends to get in a relationship but I'll pretty much be happy with my life as long as I have mates to chill with, video games and beer/weed.
What I want from people is someone to share moments with and interact with but it seems like my needs can be satisfied by simply having a few good mates.
Am I fucked in the head? Real talk here because everyone around me are getting into relationships but I just... don't care. I'm worried.[/quote]
I'd recommend reading up on asexuality/aromanticism.
the pet abuse one sounds like he likes playing with power i guess. i don't really see him as a nutjob, just that he gets a kick out of having the power to harm a living creature with not that much consequence i guess? I sorta know what he's getting at although I've never had a pet nor harmed an animal besides killing insects for obvious reasons.
[editline]21st August 2014[/editline]
also he was 11 when he accidentally killed his hamster so i would argue that he didn't really fully understand why he shouldn't of done what he did but I'm not going to put words into the mouth of whoever wrote that. I'm just speculating.
That hamster story reminded me of when my cousin's step-sister placed a guinea pig into a microwave. Eugh.
[QUOTE=ashxu;45755741]the pet abuse one sounds like he likes playing with power i guess. i don't really see him as a nutjob, just that he gets a kick out of having the power to harm a living creature with not that much consequence i guess? I sorta know what he's getting at although I've never had a pet nor harmed an animal besides killing insects for obvious reasons.
[editline]21st August 2014[/editline]
also he was 11 when he accidentally killed his hamster so i would argue that he didn't really fully understand why he shouldn't of done what he did but I'm not going to put words into the mouth of whoever wrote that. I'm just speculating.[/QUOTE]
when I was 11 I was fully aware of my actions, or at least aware enough to know that hurting an animal was a no no. How can you not see someone who abuses animals as a nutjob?
[QUOTE]I'm 18 years old, exactly 6ft and I weight a little over 200lbs. Thing is, I know I'm overweight and I really want to drop weight and gain some muscle, but I've got problems.
Whenever there's story of a fat person getting thin and they ask something like "What's stopping you?" and everyone's thinking "nothing's stopping me", I'm sat here thinking "Being born with screwed up joints and a thing with my brain that makes me put too much force onto them." Sound sound that bad, right?
From birth, I get tired quickly. My joints are constantly cracking and aching, sometimes slipping out a little bit. Nowadays as I try to eat I have to hold my jaw in place sometimes or else it has a painful crack, something that happens every time I yawn. Every step I take I feel like my left knee socket slips out a little. If I recall, when I was first diagnosed with all this stuff the doctors said something along the lines of "If I do some heavy exercise and I damage my joints even further, they'll be able to be dislocated from just a slap." That scares me.
I'm heading to university soon and I'll be applying for the gym, actively trying to get some exercise in. I enjoy walking but I'd never do it at home because I live in a really shitty neighbourhood.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just giving myself excuses to not get off my big ass and make it a smaller ass, but I still got those fears. Gonna try, though. Gonna try.[/QUOTE]
i've got something very similar to this and i also want to get some muscle, except i'm super underweight instead. my physiotherapist recommends pilates, and then if that doesn't work then hydrotherapy. i'd recommend you check with a doctor if you'll be okay to do swimming. also try taking a hot bath instead of a shower, it really helps with the aches in my experience.
also you don't necessarily need exercise to lose some weight. make a spreadsheet of your caloric intake and exclude the heaviest stuff while you're looking for an exercise plan. i've never had to deal with being fat, but i'm in a similar boat as you and that weight on your joints isn't going to be helping with the pains.
i know you feel like you don't, but you've got options
[editline]21st August[/editline]
also don't just go and work out at a gym, you'll hurt yourself really badly. i'm half as bad as you are and i still get messed up by that stuff. from the sounds of it you'll just turn to jelly immediately
[QUOTE=John Doe]Is it bad that i couldn't give two shits about getting a girlfriend? Seems like they're a big fucking hassle and I'm an extremely laid back dude. I'm almost 21 and I have never had a girlfriend and have only had a handful of female friends ever. I'm studying at Uni right now and have a few good friends and there's pressure from family/friends to get in a relationship but I'll pretty much be happy with my life as long as I have mates to chill with, video games and beer/weed.
What I want from people is someone to share moments with and interact with but it seems like my needs can be satisfied by simply having a few good mates.
Am I fucked in the head? Real talk here because everyone around me are getting into relationships but I just... don't care. I'm worried.[/QUOTE]
So this confession is basically just saying "I am currently content."
[editline]21st August 2014[/editline]
also, im p sure i know who it is. this guy always periodically posts in relationships and sex threads with "anyone else think it's weird that I don't care if I'm single?"
so im p sure you have some psychological conflict going on in ur head because u obviously do care
I don't get all those animal torture stories. Wouldn't you not want to risk getting caught? Plus they're cute little fluffy things that do your bidding for peanuts!
[QUOTE=DiscoInferno;45757776]I don't get all those animal torture stories. Wouldn't you not want to risk getting caught? Plus they're cute little fluffy things that do your bidding for peanuts![/QUOTE]
I'm usually skeptic about these edgy "psychopaths" confessions, but some part of me cautions the animal ones could be true.
I mean, these are sadistic pathetic cunts, who take pride in their "accomplishments" because that's all they've ever meaningfully done in their sorry life. They want people to know what they do because it's the only thing that gives them gratification. Also, if you read on serial killers and such, they enjoy the thrill of almost getting caught, it's quite common.
or more than likely these animal torturer confesssions are just some kid who wants to sound cool, but that's still p pathetic
sick fuckers probably get their jollies off to the attention
[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;45757938]sick fuckers probably get their jollies off to the attention[/QUOTE]
ooh people have read the story about me making my hamster bleed and my clothespinned cat [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/qlALeoU.gif[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Yahnich;45758266]in my opinion swimming, bicycling and yoga are pretty good for exercise because they cause very little stress to the joints, if you want to bulk up you can totally do that but unfortunately you can't take very heavy weights meaning you'll have to do more reps/sets with lower weight but otherwise you should be less scared of exercising, having shitty joints is a problem but strengthening your muscles also helps with that a little bit, don't give up![/QUOTE]
My dog tore her ACL (playing too much tennis) and now has at least one shitty joint. The vet recommended swimming to strengthen the muscles around it rather than operate to repair the torn ligament.
[QUOTE=airconditiond;45758456]ooh people have read the story about me making my hamster bleed and my clothespinned cat [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/qlALeoU.gif[/IMG]
My dog tore her ACL (playing too much tennis) and now has at least one shitty joint. The vet recommended swimming to strengthen the muscles around it rather than operate to repair the torn ligament.[/QUOTE]
How could she hold the racquet?
rock on ventilated you are the best at this i love you bud
[QUOTE=DiscoInferno;45758502]How could she hold the racquet?[/QUOTE]
In her mouth? Are you stupid? She's a dog, dawg.
[editline]21st August 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=CadetBailey;45761444]rock on ventilated you are the best at this i love you bud[/QUOTE]
Thanks, bud.
[quote=John Doe]This will probably be all over the place but whatever.
When I was younger (10 to 13) I would smash the windows out of cars.
I have no skills of any sort, and while I am going to college this upcoming spring quarter I have zero idea what field I want to study. There are days when I don't think that it would be good for me to even go to college because I don't have any sort of picture of what I want to do, but I do know that I will have a better chance in life if I go to college. I have no hobbies which could be turned into skills and no job. I feel like I need to make a decision of what to do with my life now, but when I remember I am only 18 I feel like I shouldn't be as anxious.
I'm blind whenever it comes to people showing interest in me. In high school, I did not date at all, but after graduating I learned that there were several girls who were into me but I was completely ignorant of it.
I can't jerk with lube, it gets way too slimy. I've only lubed it up three times in my entire career of jacking off. Along with this, I have the masturbatory preference of a bingo machine, in that I just kind of jerk it to whatever happens to pop up first.
"Descending ladders through cramped spaces into darkness" is my biggest fear, followed by things breaking when I am standing on them and clowns.
I have a hard time disliking anything. Almost every song I have heard I have liked in some form to some degree. Every movie and TV show, every comic and game, I have found some amount of enjoyment. I realize that I am easily entertained and I don't think there is a problem with that.
I really dislike talking to people over the phone, I would rather text, email, or talk to them in person than ever talk to someone on the phone.
I'm bisexual, which only my close friends know, and have thoughts that I may be transgender or at least non-binary, which I have told nobody.
I'm absolutely surprised at how long my grandmother on my father's side has lived, if I were to guess she would have been gone two years ago but she's still hanging on. I feel bad because I am somewhat annoyed at how long she is living considering keeping her in the nursing home is a financial strain on the family.
The first non-bug thing I killed was a snake accidentally when mowing the lawn. I felt really bad about for a week after and I still feel bad about it. This was last month. I haven't killed anything since then and I hope I never will.
Despite the above, sometimes I feel like I have far too much fun killing things in video games, especially civilians.
I used to contemplate suicide but I've gotten over that depression and haven't seriously thought of killing myself in over half a year now.
I feel like I have really missed out on something by growing up an only child in an isolated house. I have never had neighbors my age, and the only time I could hang out with friends was at school or if someone drove to their houses or to mine. I feel like this may have stunted my emotional growth.
I don't fucking get why people take shit so seriously on the internet.[/quote]
I guess I'll respond to these paragraph by paragraph...
As a child of 10-13 I believe I was a vandal as well. I keyed cars and "tagged" my "street name" which was something like "Buzz", despite growing up in a upper-middle class suburban neighborhood and not having a necessity to be a vandal. I was also into "punk" and "pop-punk" style music at the time, which I blame for my "anarchistic" ways of the time.
I'm sure that you have some skills. You don't need to be great at something to get a job. If you're really bad at everything then you could always just teach whatever you're best at (see quote: "Those who can't do, teach"). You've got maybe two years of taking courses before you REALLY have to decide on a "major", but there is no problem being undecided and getting your general education requirements out of the way. Maybe by the time you're 20 you'll have more of an idea of what you'd like to do for the rest of your life. Two years can make a world of difference while you're at school.
I had a similar situation, except I dated all through high school. Turns out the girls I was really into (even while dating other girls) were into me, but I had no idea until it was too late and they'd moved on. Conversations would go like:
Girl: I was really into you in high school.
Me: Well great, glad you're telling me now.
Girl: Yeah, wish I'd have said something, too bad I'm dating so-and-so now.
Me: Yeah.
My conversations are very in depth as you can tell.
Uh yeah, lube gets slimy. I don't think that I'd jerk it with lube. If you're looking for a substitute lube maybe conditioner or body wash in the shower? I've heard you should stay away from using shampoo or soap, I'm sure some degenerates here can expand on it beyond the fact that it supposedly chafes your ding dong.
So you're afraid of heights and are claustrophobic, also afraid of clowns. Those are normal. If you're fat then I guess being afraid of things breaking when you're standing on them is fine. This reminds me of a strange phenomenon I noticed when I was in high school and would drop a pencil on my desk, or would fall asleep and then drop my pencil; my chin would twitch as it hit the desk. Anyone else experience this?
I'm sure there's something that you dislike, but by this statement you sound like a stereotypical American. "There's nothing on TV so I watched Fox News all day."
Talking to people on the phone is a normal thing to do, but it's also normal in this day and age to avoid it. I can't recall the last time I placed a food order on the phone since I can just order using various websites if I'm getting take-out. Sending people text notes isn't as efficient as calling them though, as they can just ignore your emails or text messages, however if you're trying to get a hold of someone your phone calls will annoy them enough that they'll probably answer. Grow some balls and place some calls.
I went to dinner with a friend tonight and we were discussing various ethical decisions and got onto the topic of sex changes. Luckily I am comfortable with my gender and sexuality as is my fiancee, but if she decided to get a sex change I think I'd still love her. It'd probably take some time for me to get used to the idea, but love should transcend gender. People who are bisexual, in my eyes, do not even see gender as something that exists, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's also nothing wrong, in my eyes, with having trouble with your gender identity. If you read back someone else submitted a confession mostly about having gender dysphoria and all I had were encouraging words (well, I think it was mostly encouraging words). There is no reason for anyone out there to be uncomfortable in their own skin, especially with modern medicine and the possibility for gender reassignment.
My father's mother passed away at age 86, my father's father was 6 years older than her and is still alive at age 93. He's still very active and does a lot of his own yard work, still goes to the gym, and is still a great driver. He played racquetball from something like 1965 to 1998 and the only reason he stopped was because his racquetball partner collapsed on the court. "Don't hurry to get up," my grandpop said to his partner, who was at least 15 years his junior, in a joking way. Turns out the guy's heart stopped. Imagine what it would be like to be the last person to die. That will happen at some point, people will just start to live forever. Your heart failed? Here's a 3D printed heart that will out perform your stupid biological heart that you had for 70 years.
I don't see a problem with killing a snake, or a squirrel, or a rabbit. Sometimes shit happens, especially when you're driving and don't see them, or mowing your lawn and chop them to bits. It's this reason that I never let my dogs outside when I mow the lawn. I don't have small dogs, but my sister-in-law-to-be has a mini pinscher and I took care of her for a while. Was afraid she'd get excited while I was mowing the lawn and run out and I'd mow right over her. That would be traumatic.
There's no problem killing people in video games as long as you can clearly differentiate between video games and real life. If you remember there was that one video game lawyer dude who tried to get GTA games banned because they "made kids kill", but it wasn't making kids kill. Those kids were killing because they had other psychological issues.
I still battle with depression that first reared its ugly head maybe 5 years ago, not included suicidal thoughts that were had years prior. It sucks dealing with it, but it's good that you've grown past it. I rarely think about suicide anymore, and usually when I do I will stop doing whatever I'm doing and do something that requires more thought to help take my mind off it. The worst was the last time I took acid. I carry a pocket knife and I was having bad thoughts, so I had to put my pocket knife in a different room just in case I did something stupid while having a bad trip.*
I had no neighbors my age growing up, but had plenty of friends who lived within a 10 minutes drive. Sure it sucks, but it's not too bad. I believe I'm a relatively well adjusted human being.
I often hope that people will take shit seriously on the internet because they over react and say stupid things, makes for hilarious-fun-times.
*Bad trips are just moments during an acid trip. You can learn to get through them. I don't think acid was really "life changing" and first did it maybe 10 years ago. I like acid, the only down side is that it's a 12 hour commitment and usually by hour 4 or 5 I'm ready for a nap, but you won't be able to because you're on acid.
[quote=John Doe]first off, i was born into a technological family. I used computers a lot, and like anyone who has used computers a lot, you develop a smarter mind compared to other peers around you who don't use computers as much. the more you visit the internet, and sites like 4chan or reddit or tumblr, or any other troll infested place, you start to understand sarcasm more easily, get vague jokes, and easily catch on to trolls and start to get the 'internet ettiquette' of places like reddit or 4chan and develop this 'troll mind'.
the thing is though, i'd see a comment that I think is stupid or idiotic to me, and make fun that person, for no rhyme or reason at all. i hate to use this word, but id troll them. of course, this person probably doesnt spend as much time on the internet as i do, so they'd be completely ignorant to this. I don't know why, but I would laugh really hard, almost maniacally. They'd insult me, but I would just laugh at it. This is laughter id normally get when seeing or hearing something funny. but getting insulted? why would I laugh after getting insulted? I there were many times where id get the hiccups because of my laughter.
yet, outside of the internet, I'm fine socially. I'm not an outcast, I have plenty of friends, I dont own and fedoras and I shave my facial hair regularly. is something wrong with me?[/quote]
Turn off the computer and go outside.
[quote=John Doe]I masturbate to scat hentai rather frequently. I never feel ashamed after, and I don't really know why it's so boner satisfying.[/quote]
Have you ever seen [url=http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/shitting-dicknipples-is-the-weirdest-porn-category-on-the-internet]shitting dick nipples[/url]? It's probably the internets highest class of art. There are countless hours of jollies for you to have while viewing that drawing. You should also read that article and follow some of its links to more disgusting websites. Then maybe [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/9MvOs7h.gif[/IMG] and probably kill yourself.
[quote=John Doe]I used to scam new players in TF2 by trading them for earbuds and weapons, i used to recover peoples accounts on runescape after they stopped playing, i'm an asshole in eve online. Boring but it's probably the most morally corrupt thing i've done. To this day i consider myself a morally corrupt person because of it.[/quote]Good for you, nerd.
[quote=John Doe]So I've always loved drawing shit, but got more into focusing on drawing females as of late. The thing is, half of the things I draw are these reptile girl things I made up. One day, out of morbid curiousity, I drew one of them getting banged on a pool table. Its odd, as I have never been into furry shit (seeing it to this day just annoys me) but this specific type of reptile thing I do like. So...am I a furry? Is it just the exoticness of it all that gets me?
To top it off, I can't finish any serious projects like making stories due to lack of energy and motivation. All I can muster are these drawings of chicks. I waste a lot of time just browsing the internet instead of doing something worthwhile.[/quote]
IIRC they are called "scalies" and are equally as fucked up as furries, except they get off to anthropomorphized lizards/dragons with cloacas rather than anthropomorphized warm blooded animals with b-holes and whatnot. I'm sure "featheries" exist too, although they're probably in the same class as "scalies". Do you people not worry about contracting ecoli? Can't you get that simply from handling reptiles? Shit's fucked up!
Have you thought about collaborating on stories with someone who can write? You can draw for them, maybe find a fanfic about Voldemort and his snake boning and draw it?
[quote=John Doe]So, I'm the guy who molested the fuck out of his sister ([url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1418112&p=45730120&viewfull=1#post45730120[/url]) and you responding to my confession made me do it again last night. My mom died last year so it was just me and her. Still didn't get caught and it was still very hot. Thinking of doing more possibly.[/quote]
What'd you do, strangle your mom with your limp dick? She's better off now that she can never find out that her son is a lunatic. I call fake and hope you die in real life.
the responses got way more hostile i see
he's just trying to keep it balanced
i've got a confession i am doug
[editline]22nd August 2014[/editline]
what the fuck ventilated how do u make this anonymous?
doug you have to post your password and social security number, it will convert your name, password, and SSID to stars.
[QUOTE=airconditiond;45764921]doug you have to post your password and social security number, it will convert your name, password, and SSID to stars.[/QUOTE]
nice bash.org what is this like 1999.....
Doug, send me your MAC address, I will add it to the anonymizer.
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[highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Spam" - Asaratha))[/highlight]
Hardly anonymous, but I threw a cup at a bin today, and it missed.
My sense of pride was stronger than my resolve to save the Earth.
I'm an awful human.
Why can I guess who made the confessions
[QUOTE=Bradyns;45768093]Hardly anonymous, but I threw a cup at a bin today, and it missed.
My sense of pride was stronger than my resolve to save the Earth.
I'm an awful human.[/QUOTE]
You should try throwing all of your recyclables in the garbage. Let's fill up those landfills with plastic!
[quote=John Doe]I really can't stand my voice it honestly makes me a little depressed whenever I hear it. I avoid talking on the phone because of it. Hell someone described it as sounding as an autistic hispanic voice :v
I got a speech impediment which causes me to stutter and not able to pronounce Zs correctly. I been trying to change it tho, practicing how to say Zs and trying to reduce my stutter by speaking slower.
It still sounds pretty awful but its getting better. Do you like your voice?[/quote]
I don't mind my voice, but sometimes it's annoying. The big problem is that most people don't like hearing their voice recorded.
I have some friends who have overcome stutters, but they still occasionally have some issues. In real life people won't judge you for it, unless you're a voice actor and you're cast as someone without a stutter or speech impediment, that could impede your career.
[quote=John Doe]I work in a sorta big store, and we have a fairly big place where you can freely grab some candy, put it in a bucket and you can pay for that when you pay for your other groceries and stuffs, this also means that kids eat a LOT of candy out of there.
One time, i heard a kid's sister say: "You cant take that candy!", after that i heard her trying to stop him.
Now we have a door to the back that makes an very loud alarm sound if you open it without the proper key, but it'll still open.
So i went to stand near the door, and wait for her to say: "Stop it! You thief!", as soon as that happened i pushed open the door, making the alarm sound go off, and those kids were scared shitless, there i was, standing in the door, and they took a run for it.
I was there just laughing.
Do not steal my candy. NEVER.[/quote]
Cheese it! It's the fuzz!
[quote=John Doe]im the real ventilated dont listen to this poser[/quote]
oh ok
[quote=Jane Doe]i am a transgender female and im really scared to out myself offline, sure, most of my online friends know and it makes me feel comfortable that i have friends to support me online but offline i have absolutely no support and am scared of telling any of my family because of their ultra christian nature, i dont want to get sent to some religious healing camp. tell me, based vent, what should i do?[/quote]
Do those camps still exist? I know I saw one in the Mandy Moore / Jena Malone film [U]Saved![/U], but that was a comedic film so I don't know!
If you're over 18 and you come out to your family as trans and they try to send you to one of these camps you can refuse because you are an adult. If you're under 18, then it might be wise to wait until then to come out to your family so they don't send you to the funny farm.
If you're "out" online, then you should consult the tranny thread, rather than ask me because I'm a straight male that was born male.
[quote=Muhammed Doe]This one time me and my friend cooked 10 grams of meth in Iran (cuz were both iranian and you can get the ingredients with no difficulty there).
Now both of us cooked this ounce thinking that the other person likes meth but guess what, neither of us did.
So after we established that we didn't like the product we tried to sell it but who the fuck buys 10 grams of meth thats isn't even in anyway pure.
So the dam thing just lay in my house for a while until me and my friend were really bored and needed to get rid of the meth quickly. So here we are in my living room when both me and my friend lay our eyes on my dog (hes a golden retriever) and we just say "fuck it and out the ground up meth in the front of the dog and it kinda sniffs some of it up. It was looking at him cuz he was extra hyper and he would do retarded moves around the room. He sniffed up like half of it and me and my friend reluctantly use the rest.
The dogs alright now, hes not fucked up or anything but I feel bad for giving the poor thing our home made meth.
Thank god it didnt end like breaking bad[/quote]
You Iranians are crazy! Why would you allow the dog to do meth? That's fucked up. You could have sold it to Joe588, or NotYou3 (I Think), they'd have probably even paid shipping!
[quote=John Doe]This is my senior year of high school. It's been over three years and I have yet to make any friends. I've had problems with being really shy in the past--I moved a LOT when I was younger and when I finally started to come out of my shell we would move to a completely different place. Finally in like 3rd grade we stopped moving for a while, and over the years I gained a few close friends. But my shyness issue still stayed and I would never say a word other than when I was talking to my friends. It was so bad that people actually thought that I was mute and apparently thought I was retarded, so they would of course speak to me like they were talking to a five year old. In 6th grade I think it reached its peak and when I was walking home one day, some kid from my gym class rode up on his bike, told me he was going to rape me, and rode off laughing. I was homeschooled for 7th and 8th grade and towards the end of 8th grade, it was becoming clear that I was basically turning into a hermit. I forced myself to go back to public school again (by this point we had moved) and did genuinely try to be social, but I fell right back into my old habits and stopped talking again. I have no idea how to make friends anymore and it feels like whatever I say is weird and awkward. At what point do you call them a friend? Is it okay to ask people to go do stuff at X point? What do I do?
What do I do, Facepunch?[/quote]
Uh... you can ask people to go do something within days of knowing them, that is how you make friends. If you meet some people that you think you get along with in school you can ask them to do something outside of school.
If this is a new school you have to remember that these people have never met you and know nothing about you, so you have an opportunity to be a new person. The following year you'll be presented with this again if you attend college.
You're allowed to reinvent yourself, no one says you can't.
I've always been relatively social, so I can't answer perfectly but perhaps someone else here is a shut-in (like MIPS, that's the guy who eats spam) can provide better advice.
wow vent nice advice. i didn't know you were a white cis male. so am i!!! how cool is that man?
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