You dudes seem to take this stuff pretty seriously. Sex, relationships, all of it. I understand why, it's pretty important stuff. But you realize that if you take things a little less seriously, you can have all of the good parts without as much pain?
You can get into a relationship without feeling pressure or anxiety, and if that relationship ends poorly it doesn't have to be so painful. You can have sex without feeling guilty, and you can listen to other people brag about sex without feeling offended or jealous.
The trick is to treat it all like a big game. Yeah, that's a platitude, but humor me. The stakes are pretty damned high if you don't play it safe, but otherwise the only things at risk are your time and feelings. Just like a game. If you look at it that way, then this is just like the GTA or Elder Scrolls megathread. We all just play the game and talk about crazy or funny shit that happens to us, or exchange tips and strategies on how to win. No hard feelings, no judgement, we just play the game.
[QUOTE=LuaChobo;47536006]Yeah telling that to people online may give the wrong message to people who aren't so stable, saying a relationship is a game can make people overreact in some situations that popup with their significant other, not very good advice tbh[/QUOTE]
Someone else being unstable is not [i]my[/i] problem, and it doesn't make an argument any worse. And, to be honest, these are the exact people who would benefit most from my advice.
[QUOTE=Smashmaster;47536001]You dudes seem to take this stuff pretty seriously. Sex, relationships, all of it. I understand why, it's pretty important stuff. But you realize that if you take things a little less seriously, you can have all of the good parts without as much pain?
You can get into a relationship without feeling pressure or anxiety, and if that relationship ends poorly it doesn't have to be so painful. You can have sex without feeling guilty, and you can listen to other people brag about sex without feeling offended or jealous.
The trick is to treat it all like a big game. Yeah, that's a platitude, but humor me. The stakes are pretty damned high if you don't play it safe, but otherwise the only things at risk are your time and feelings. Just like a game. If you look at it that way, then this is just like the GTA or Elder Scrolls megathread. We all just play the game and talk about crazy or funny shit that happens to us, or exchange tips and strategies on how to win. No hard feelings, no judgement, we just play the game.[/QUOTE]
Wish I could take it like that, I really do. Sometimes you just meet a gamebreaker though, and shit just falls apart, and there is nothing in the game that tells you how to deal with that, or anything.
I wouldn't be surprised if it works for some, though.
[QUOTE=LuaChobo;47536052]what a shitty opinion
i dont know about you but thinking that my significant other thinks about our relationship like a game would probably be grounds for insta dumping
you can't "win" a relationship and you are a pretty horrible person for thinking of it like that[/QUOTE]
I don't think you understand my point. You don't win in a relationship, you both win by [i]being[/i] in a healthy relationship. Not all games are competitive.
[QUOTE=LuaChobo;47536111]and not everything is a game[/QUOTE]
I think they're referring more to game theory, which "plays" "games" as a mathematical model for testing out conflict and co-operation models between two or more rational decision makers. Game doesn't always just mean the common definition.
[editline]16th April 2015[/editline]
A relationship actually fits perfectly within the game theory concept. You have two parties with a common goal but that common goal is achieved in possibly slightly seperate manners for each party. The two people can work together by clearly communicating and easily achieve their goals or they could let their minds get in the way or prioritise certain aspects of their goal that results in a betrayal of trust if the other person discovers it, and a loss for both parties.
It's not typical game theory but it's a sensible modifier, where if both cheat at the same time, they probably both win, where when they work together at the same time they win more, and if one cheats and the other does not, they both lose. Assuming they're both rational decision makers and the relationship is actually valuable to them.
This is highly useful I will explore this theory further.
[editline]16th April 2015[/editline]
Having said that at any point telling a partner or potential partner this I can see how they might react badly if you don't know each other that well or just say "it's like a game for me!"
That's a skill I don't really have. Being honest without being stupid. I tend to tell people I am interested in everything about me and what I think as it comes up in conversation which is like absolutely insane in terms of relationships. Some things you should just keep to yourself.
[QUOTE=gerbe1;47536352]I think they're referring more to game theory, which "plays" "games" as a mathematical model for testing out conflict and co-operation models between two or more rational decision makers. Game doesn't always just mean the common definition.
[editline]16th April 2015[/editline]
A relationship actually fits perfectly within the game theory concept. You have two parties with a common goal but that common goal is achieved in possibly slightly seperate manners for each party. The two people can work together by clearly communicating and easily achieve their goals or they could let their minds get in the way or prioritise certain aspects of their goal that results in a betrayal of trust if the other person discovers it, and a loss for both parties.
It's not typical game theory but it's a sensible modifier, where if both cheat at the same time, they probably both win, where when they work together at the same time they win more, and if one cheats and the other does not, they both lose. Assuming they're both rational decision makers and the relationship is actually valuable to them.
This is highly useful I will explore this theory further.
[editline]16th April 2015[/editline]
Having said that at any point telling a partner or potential partner this I can see how they might react badly if you don't know each other that well or just say "it's like a game for me!"
That's a skill I don't really have. Being honest without being stupid. I tend to tell people I am interested in everything about me and what I think as it comes up in conversation which is like absolutely insane in terms of relationships. Some things you should just keep to yourself.[/QUOTE]
Hah, wow. I wasn't talking about game theory. I don't view love as a prisoner's dilemma... It's cool if you do, I guess.
[QUOTE=Smashmaster;47536489]Hah, wow. I wasn't talking about game theory. I don't view love as a prisoner's dilemma... It's cool if you do, I guess.[/QUOTE]
Prisoner's dilemma is not the only game theory game. But game theory is the only explanation I could put together for you using the word game without referring to a slightly more offensive description of a relationship that luachobo was pointing out.
[editline]16th April 2015[/editline]
and helping me to suggest that everything can totally be a "game"!!
For me, love, sex, and relationships are fun. I didn't think that they [i]aren't[/i] for a lot of people, or that trivializing them is so offensive.
I shouldn't assume everyone is like me, or would want to be. I'm sorry I brought it up.
[QUOTE=Smashmaster;47536635]For me, love, sex, and relationships are fun. I didn't think that they [i]aren't[/i] for a lot of people, or that trivializing them is so offensive.
I shouldn't assume everyone is like me, or would want to be. I'm sorry I brought it up.[/QUOTE]
Now you're being as serious as you were suggesting people to not be! I think that a large part of people's lives holds an expectation that they find someone to be with. Therefore you are walking on thin ice if you're trying to make light of them. Even if you are right. I've had a number of people tell me they don't want to waste their time on people who aren't serious or whatever.
idk I have my best experiences with people who I am not expecting much from but the problem always is they're more serious than me and I say something flippant and it stuffs the whole thing up and I never get past the dating stage. Then I was finally on the other side of that recently and I royally screwed everything up by being too serious.
It turns out it's like everything. Careful balance.
Also I am having this conversation for fun people tend to think I am super serious on the internet / I am always angry (not to be mistaken with me "always having hangry" as my Spanish friend tells me). I am currently ignoring my lecture.
Long story short I do not disagree with what you are saying I think it holds great validity.
[editline]16th April 2015[/editline]
Well actually I just like typing into boxes on the internet it's enjoyable to put words together like I am relevant.
[QUOTE=Smashmaster;47536001]You dudes seem to take this stuff pretty seriously. Sex, relationships, all of it. I understand why, it's pretty important stuff. But you realize that if you take things a little less seriously, you can have all of the good parts without as much pain?
You can get into a relationship without feeling pressure or anxiety, and if that relationship ends poorly it doesn't have to be so painful. You can have sex without feeling guilty, and you can listen to other people brag about sex without feeling offended or jealous.
The trick is to treat it all like a big game. Yeah, that's a platitude, but humor me. The stakes are pretty damned high if you don't play it safe, but otherwise the only things at risk are your time and feelings. Just like a game. If you look at it that way, then this is just like the GTA or Elder Scrolls megathread. We all just play the game and talk about crazy or funny shit that happens to us, or exchange tips and strategies on how to win. No hard feelings, no judgement, we just play the game.[/QUOTE]
how do i no scope
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;47535807]hm[/QUOTE]
mmm, quite.
[QUOTE=Smashmaster;47536001]You dudes seem to take this stuff pretty seriously. Sex, relationships, all of it. I understand why, it's pretty important stuff. But you realize that if you take things a little less seriously, you can have all of the good parts without as much pain?
You can get into a relationship without feeling pressure or anxiety, and if that relationship ends poorly it doesn't have to be so painful. You can have sex without feeling guilty, and you can listen to other people brag about sex without feeling offended or jealous.
The trick is to treat it all like a big game. Yeah, that's a platitude, but humor me. The stakes are pretty damned high if you don't play it safe, but otherwise the only things at risk are your time and feelings. Just like a game. If you look at it that way, then this is just like the GTA or Elder Scrolls megathread. We all just play the game and talk about crazy or funny shit that happens to us, or exchange tips and strategies on how to win. No hard feelings, no judgement, we just play the game.[/QUOTE]
I've been through the wringer multiple times with failed relationships and it never gets better. I don't see how I should treat it like a game. These are people that I legitimately thought I could share my life with...not people that I treat like a game.
I think its better to consider relationships an experience, one to share and try to make as positive as possible for both parties, and one that may be shared for however long it is positive for both of you.
It may end but hopefully you both gained something, enjoyment for the time or learning or who knows what else, in that way a relationship isnt a failure just because it ends
[QUOTE=Smashmaster;47536001]You dudes seem to take this stuff pretty seriously. Sex, relationships, all of it. I understand why, it's pretty important stuff. But you realize that if you take things a little less seriously, you can have all of the good parts without as much pain?
You can get into a relationship without feeling pressure or anxiety, and if that relationship ends poorly it doesn't have to be so painful. You can have sex without feeling guilty, and you can listen to other people brag about sex without feeling offended or jealous.
The trick is to treat it all like a big game. Yeah, that's a platitude, but humor me. The stakes are pretty damned high if you don't play it safe, but otherwise the only things at risk are your time and feelings. Just like a game. If you look at it that way, then this is just like the GTA or Elder Scrolls megathread. We all just play the game and talk about crazy or funny shit that happens to us, or exchange tips and strategies on how to win. No hard feelings, no judgement, we just play the game.[/QUOTE]
I've never gone into a relationship with the assumption that I've found my "soul mate" or some bollocks like that and it's saved me a hell of a lot of pain.
Besides, who gives a shit about that moment of terrible when you realize it's over if that was preceeded by months and months of awesome
I'm having trouble growing any facial hair that's not on my neck
...and, coincidentally, I enjoy nutella
[QUOTE=MaddaCheeb;47536934]I've been through the wringer multiple times with failed relationships and it never gets better. I don't see how I should treat it like a game. These are people that I legitimately thought I could share my life with...not people that I treat like a game.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=LuaChobo;47537021]well we arent sociopaths, i could understand that they legitimately think its a game if they were one[/QUOTE]
My first mistake was giving unsolicited advice. My second mistake was using the phrase 'Treat it like a game.'
'Have a sense of humor about it' is probably closer to what I actually meant. In my eyes, life is absurd, so taking it seriously is also absurd. Judging people, holding grudges, and letting stuff offend or hurt you... I don't [i]understand[/i] it. I'd rather just focus on having a good time with the people I love. If that makes me a sociopath, then sign me up.
[QUOTE=Smashmaster;47537368]My first mistake was giving unsolicited advice. My second mistake was using the phrase 'Treat it like a game.'
'Have a sense of humor about it' is probably closer to what I actually meant. In my eyes, life is absurd, so taking it seriously is also absurd. Judging people, holding grudges, and letting stuff offend or hurt you... I don't [i]understand[/i] it. I'd rather just focus on having a good time with the people I love. If that makes me a sociopath, then sign me up.[/QUOTE]
Saying "treat it like a game" makes you sound like a pick up artist
[QUOTE=Rubs10;47537545]Saying "treat it like a game" makes you sound like a pick up artist[/QUOTE]
That's pretty much the opposite of what I am. I've never even been in a bar or club.
I do play a lot of games, though.
how many porn mods can I install in that game
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;47537641]how many porn mods can I install in that game[/QUOTE]
The most realistic one.
[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;47537641]how many porn mods can I install in that game[/QUOTE]
Can you stop for a while? Or forever?
I've learned that telling someone to calm down only makes it worse tbh
depends what voice you put on.
Calm down.
CALM DOWN, DON'T GET A BIG DICK
[editline]16th April 2015[/editline]
And a life update from me is well, I got a job at a farm/stable, gonna be doing some farm work and ride horses into the sunset, like Fabio.
[QUOTE=Grim2o0o;47537832]Calm down.
CALM DOWN, DON'T GET A BIG DICK
[editline]16th April 2015[/editline]
And a life update from me is well, I got a job at a farm/stable, gonna be doing some farm work and ride horses into the sunset, like Fabio.[/QUOTE]
Ooh, stable boy + prince = dreams come true
It was a bit late tho, could have been like 2 months before right?
This thread is so ANGRY.
Vengeance is sweet. Make the impertinent pixel makers [I]pay.[/I]
Man I really started something.
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