[QUOTE=bitches;47215400]I think we're missing too much context to say anything about that. For example, he may have meant the use of body language and a perspective that using words would hinder 'the moment', while still respecting personal boundaries.[/QUOTE]
It still applies. It can be just as sexy to ask "can I kiss you now?" than to just do it. And it's a lot more respectful.
Context is still missing. His buddy doesn't want to initiate sexual contact, and also doesn't want discussion. The context could be that he doesn't want to step on the other person's boundaries, and doesn't have many boundaries of his own, while preferring spontaneity.
[QUOTE=bitches;47215508]Context is still missing. His buddy doesn't want to initiate sexual contact, and also doesn't want discussion. The context could be that he doesn't want to step on the other person's boundaries, and doesn't have many boundaries of his own, while preferring spontaneity.[/QUOTE]
Well in terms of context I did use indicates, which isn't an absolute.
As for the second example I still think that's a point of incompatability (I'm also not saying it's a deal breaker or whatever, just an example), they both have boundaries that cross in the wrong place.
Would you like a little more context for that particular scenario, haha?
We had come back to my apartment and were hanging out, watching netflix and chatting while having some drinks. Eventually it got to the point where the conversation had started to die down, and I was just kind of having trouble gauging what he wanted to do next, so I said, verbatim: "So... the last guy I tried this on was kind of weirded out, so let me know if you think this is a little too forward or something, but would you like to make out?" And then he smiled and said "That's just really forward haha" and then we talked about it and I was like yeah, consent is pretty important to me, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable, etc., and he just said that has never happened to him before and it just seemed very forward, while smiling and laughing about it though. And then we sucked face.
He eventually told me he likes to "beat around the bush" when it comes to that thing, and likes when the other guy just makes the first move. I don't think this is actually a serious problem, and that's why I used the word 'silly' to describe the encounter. Not deal breaking, in my opinion, by any means. I really appreciate your reply though!
[QUOTE=bitches;47213078]it's contagious
zeke just grabbed my ass[/QUOTE]
Wasn't me, if it was you'd know. When I grab ass it's gone forever
Do you have a walk-in closet filled with stolen asses?
[QUOTE=bitches;47215776]Do you have a walk-in closet filled with stolen asses?[/QUOTE]
So [I]that's[/I] the closet everybody keeps talking about coming out of.
[QUOTE=DanTehMan;47215244]Need some advice gaypunch
So I met this really cute guy through grindr, but we've been following, like, conventional dating standards? Met first for dinner, got to know each other through decent conversation.
Date #2, kissed and snuggled a little, got to know each other much better obviously, really hit it off this time.
So I guess my question is really in two parts. 1. What would conventional dating wisdom suggest we do on the third date? It will probably be dinner and a movie and head back to one of our apartments, but do we just move down the bases to third base? There's a very obvious physical attraction there, and he said he likes it when his partners take the lead in making those kinds of decisions, but I'm all about consent and having a conversation about that and I think he thinks that is a little silly.
Part 2 of my question is this: If all of this had happened over a time span of like two weeks, moving to a physical/sexual relationship wouldn't be weird at all, right? But what if this happened within a single week? Or even a few days? (We both had the time and figured why not?) Does it then seem like things are happening all too quickly?
Obviously it all depends on circumstance and yadda yadda, but I'd like to hear your guys' opinions/personal experiences?[/QUOTE]
Hmmm. I have mixed feelings about this app.
Last time I met a guy on Grindr we went for a date, kissed, fell in love, became boyfriends, had sex, cuddled, slept together and broke up in the time spam of 5 hours.
[QUOTE=DanTehMan;47215567]Would you like a little more context for that particular scenario, haha?
We had come back to my apartment and were hanging out, watching netflix and chatting while having some drinks. Eventually it got to the point where the conversation had started to die down, and I was just kind of having trouble gauging what he wanted to do next, so I said, verbatim: "So... the last guy I tried this on was kind of weirded out, so let me know if you think this is a little too forward or something, but would you like to make out?" And then he smiled and said "That's just really forward haha" and then we talked about it and I was like yeah, consent is pretty important to me, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable, etc., and he just said that has never happened to him before and it just seemed very forward, while smiling and laughing about it though. And then we sucked face.
He eventually told me he likes to "beat around the bush" when it comes to that thing, and likes when the other guy just makes the first move. I don't think this is actually a serious problem, and that's why I used the word 'silly' to describe the encounter. Not deal breaking, in my opinion, by any means. I really appreciate your reply though![/QUOTE]
Just random comment from me:
How is asking if you could make out [I]more[/I] forward than just attempting to make out?
Also jp alludes to the speed thing I mentioned: you're moving slow for grindr :v:
[QUOTE=gerbe1;47215839]Just random comment from me:
How is asking if you could make out [I]more[/I] forward than just attempting to make out?
Also jp alludes to the speed thing I mentioned: you're moving slow for grindr :v:[/QUOTE]
That's what I thought haha, I have a feeling he was just trying to come up with a word other than 'fucking weird' :P
We're texting now and he's saying all these really nice things, and I honestly have never been so physically attracted to a reciprocating partner, so I have an intense need to jump his bones hahaha.
[QUOTE=jp_rsardeta]Hmmm. I have mixed feelings about this app.
Last time I met a guy on Grindr we went for a date, kissed, fell in love, became boyfriends, had sex, cuddled, slept together and broke up in the time spam of 5 hours.[/quote]
Honestly, if you think you fell in love, and applied the label of 'boyfriend' to each other in so short a time span, it obviously wasn't a fully emotionally mature relationship. I doubt you can really fall in love in so short a time. At least, I personally wouldn't call that love.
I lost my shit this morning, I couldn't help it. I had an appointment only to be told yet again that no matter what I did it didn't matter and I was still being punished simply because I was 22 and on a particular benefit.
I got home, walked through the door and my mum asked how it went and I just snapped. I yelled, I tore at my hair, and ended up bursting into tears. I wasn't even overly frustrated at what happened, it's just I never deal with my frustration and couldn't handle all of my frustrations for the past few months anymore.
It was actually kind of scary.
[QUOTE=bitches;47215776]Do you have a walk-in closet filled with stolen asses?[/QUOTE]
You can't walk into it anymore, too full of asses.
[QUOTE=DanTehMan;47215903]That's what I thought haha, I have a feeling he was just trying to come up with a word other than 'fucking weird' :P
We're texting now and he's saying all these really nice things, and I honestly have never been so physically attracted to a reciprocating partner, so I have an intense need to jump his bones hahaha.
Honestly, if you think you fell in love, and applied the label of 'boyfriend' to each other in so short a time span, it obviously wasn't a fully emotionally mature relationship. I doubt you can really fall in love in so short a time. At least, I personally wouldn't call that love.[/QUOTE]
It was a joke lol
[QUOTE=jp_rsardeto;47216008]It was a joke lol[/QUOTE]
Derp, sarcasm doesn't always come off easily over the internet haha
[QUOTE=Zeke129;47215920]You can't walk into it anymore, too full of asses.[/QUOTE]
Do the owners feel them still?
[QUOTE=DanTehMan;47215244]Need some advice gaypunch
So I met this really cute guy through grindr, but we've been following, like, conventional dating standards? Met first for dinner, got to know each other through decent conversation.
Date #2, kissed and snuggled a little, got to know each other much better obviously, really hit it off this time.
So I guess my question is really in two parts. 1. What would conventional dating wisdom suggest we do on the third date? It will probably be dinner and a movie and head back to one of our apartments, but do we just move down the bases to third base? There's a very obvious physical attraction there, and he said he likes it when his partners take the lead in making those kinds of decisions, but I'm all about consent and having a conversation about that and I think he thinks that is a little silly.
Part 2 of my question is this: If all of this had happened over a time span of like two weeks, moving to a physical/sexual relationship wouldn't be weird at all, right? But what if this happened within a single week? Or even a few days? (We both had the time and figured why not?) Does it then seem like things are happening all too quickly?
Obviously it all depends on circumstance and yadda yadda, but I'd like to hear your guys' opinions/personal experiences?[/QUOTE]
Get in real close and intimate, ask "Can I kiss you?" then make out and fuck.
Also most of my relationships ended up in fucking in the first night so that's kinda the norm for me. If you're attracted to eachother, might as well, right?
[QUOTE=gerbe1;47215450]It still applies. It can be just as sexy to ask "can I kiss you now?" than to just do it. And it's a lot more respectful.[/QUOTE]
I thought I was more original for using that.
I've often wondered what it'd be like to have a boyfriend.
[QUOTE=Tomo Takino;47215904]I lost my shit this morning, I couldn't help it. I had an appointment only to be told yet again that no matter what I did it didn't matter and I was still being punished simply because I was 22 and on a particular benefit.
I got home, walked through the door and my mum asked how it went and I just snapped. I yelled, I tore at my hair, and ended up bursting into tears. I wasn't even overly frustrated at what happened, it's just I never deal with my frustration and couldn't handle all of my frustrations for the past few months anymore.
It was actually kind of scary.[/QUOTE]
Context?
[QUOTE=Roll_Program;47216351]Context?[/QUOTE]
My Jobfind company is forcing me to do an extra 15 hours unpaid work ontop of my 20 hour course which also has around 10 hours homework a week or else I get no money at all during my studying.
That frustrates me immensely, but I also have had a multitude of other things stressing me out for months but I hate bothering anyone else with them so I pushed them aside. I think that 'Straw that broke the camel's back' is very relevant here.
While I did the work today, the manager of the place told me to stop trying to get out of it because my problems are far less worse than other people's so I shouldn't complain, then she started telling me how her husband used to work all day then deliver pizzas at night. Which proceeded to upset me even more.
[QUOTE=Tomo Takino;47216362]My Jobfind company is forcing me to do an extra 15 hours unpaid work ontop of my 20 hour course which also has around 10 hours homework a week or else I get no money at all during my studying.
That frustrates me immensely, but I also have had a multitude of other things stressing me out for months but I hate bothering anyone else with them so I pushed them aside. I think that 'Straw that broke the camel's back' is very relevant here.
While I did the work today, the manager of the place told me to stop trying to get out of it because my problems are far less worse than other people's so I shouldn't complain, then she started telling me how her husband used to work all day then deliver pizzas at night. Which proceeded to upset me even more.[/QUOTE]
Go doctors, say you're getting terrible stress, they will perscribe you with some stuff, ask for a doctors note saying that you can't go under so much stress for health reasons and voila! You wont have to do the 15hours unpaid work.
[QUOTE=greeley;47216536]Go doctors, say you're getting terrible stress, they will perscribe you with some stuff, ask for a doctors note saying that you can't go under so much stress for health reasons and voila! You wont have to do the 15hours unpaid work.[/QUOTE]
Interesting. I have considered going to the doctor but that's made pretty difficult now that the only day I am not doing something is Sunday and possibly Saturday.
I stress ridiculously easily, I really should have done something about it long ago. It's to the point that I stressed over my posts earlier and didn't want to click the thread because I thought replies might be mocking me or telling me I was being stupid.
[QUOTE=Tomo Takino;47216544]Interesting. I have considered going to the doctor but that's made pretty difficult now that the only day I am not doing something is Sunday and possibly Saturday.
I stress ridiculously easily, I really should have done something about it long ago. It's to the point that I stressed over my posts earlier and didn't want to click the thread because I thought replies might be mocking me or telling me I was being stupid.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like bad stress to me, anxiety, could even have an anxiety attack if under too much.
Go doctors during the week, doctors is a perfect excuse to not go somewhere and perfectly valid.
[QUOTE=greeley;47216575]Sounds like bad stress to me, anxiety, could even have an anxiety attack if under too much.
Go doctors during the week, doctors is a perfect excuse to not go somewhere and perfectly valid.[/QUOTE]
Fair enough. I need to attend my Tafe course because even though I stress about going to it, I really enjoy it and it's going to be helpful. That leaves me one day.
My trouble though is going to be not attending my work. Basically if I miss a day I can't make it up and very likely lose my money again and need to restart it. I don't know if a doctor's certificate can fix that.
[QUOTE=Tomo Takino;47216586]Fair enough. I need to attend my Tafe course because even though I stress about going to it, I really enjoy it and it's going to be helpful. That leaves me one day.
My trouble though is going to be not attending my work. Basically if I miss a day I can't make it up and very likely lose my money again and need to restart it. I don't know if a doctor's certificate can fix that.[/QUOTE]
Not sure about AU but in the UK a Doctors note is basically a get out of jail free card.
[QUOTE=greeley;47216616]Not sure about AU but in the UK a Doctors note is basically a get out of jail free card.[/QUOTE]
It's similar here, but the issue for me is if I have the day off, I just can't make it up. I can't actually do the 15 hours now, so if I miss a day I'll just get further behind because there aren't enough hours for me to even do those, let alone a make up day to keep my payments going.
[QUOTE=Tomo Takino;47216630]It's similar here, but the issue for me is if I have the day off, I just can't make it up. I can't actually do the 15 hours now, so if I miss a day I'll just get further behind because there aren't enough hours for me to even do those, let alone a make up day to keep my payments going.[/QUOTE]
Well you have to figure out whats more important then.
Unfortunately only you can help yourself
[QUOTE=greeley;47216643]Well you have to figure out whats more important then.
Unfortunately only you can help yourself[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I know. I am just not sure how.
For the sake of the thread I'll stop talking about this. I've covered like a whole quarter of a page, wtf.
Most of my trainees aren't I today so I've had a very busy morning getting marketing bots to retweet their feelings about Adolf Hitler, they don't retweet images though.
So my local american styled restaurant is offering discounted food menus because the owner got married, and I thought I'd take the "complete american experience" menu.
Onion rings, triple patty burger with a shitload of bacon and cheddar cheese, mac & cheese and two burritos.
So p much for the next two days I'll be eating iconic american food (if burritos even count).
livin' the dreeaaaam
[QUOTE=TheDrunkenOne;47217629]So my local american styled restaurant is offering discounted food menus because the owner got married, and I thought I'd take the "complete american experience" menu.
Onion rings, triple patty burger with a shitload of bacon and cheddar cheese, mac & cheese and two burritos.
So p much for the next two days I'll be eating iconic american food (if burritos even count).
livin' the dreeaaaam[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://www.seriousbirdhunting.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Homer_drool.jpg[/IMG]
omg this is basically porn to me
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