The Apocalypse Opener, or: The Only Pickup Line You Will Ever Need - General

[QUOTE=hayden;20387921]In reality, it would probably go more like this. "Do you want to come home with me?" "Go fuck yourself"[/QUOTE] Guys, I think you're missing the point, or you're just too young to understand. Why would a hot girl, in her right mind, tell you to fuck off by asking her an honest question? By asking her, you're communicating: - Confidence - Honesty - You find her very attractive You're just saying it won't work because that was the way you were brought up. Throw all that pre-programmed nonsense away. And sure, it helps if you look your best, but looks are NOT everything. It's more about how you carry yourself, just like the author says. Think about it, if you ask a girl that, you're standing out in her mind as a guy who has the balls to ask her that, which probably no one else ever has. Girls think differently.

I tried this already. It was part of a bet I had. It doesn't work. I asked 4 girls this evening and 3 of them just rolled their eyes and turned away, the other one started rambling about how men are all chauvinistic pigs. The reason so many who read this will think it will work is the exact reason he pretends to be using in pickup lines: It's about what you DEMONSTRATE and what you PROJECT. With this little BS story he raises the hopes of unimaginative nerds and fair to say: all men of the world. And because of the "well it's not easy to say but simple, that must be the way" thought you all got when you read that little fairy tail up there, you think it works. Fact: Tried it. Doesn't.

Eh, this "pickup line" doesn't work very well. However, an alteration of it does. Walk up to a girl, make one or two sentences of small talk with a hidden complement in one of them. "Aw c'mon, a pretty girl like you should know that." and shit like that are the equivalent of complimenting them without directly saying it and making shit awkward. After doing that, ask them for their name. Once they give it to you, you say "Well ______, my name is ________, and you should give me a call later if you feel like having some fun" (this line doesn't work in bars and stuff very well, works best on girls that are working or are going to class and stuff) as you write your name and number down on a piece of scrap paper or something. Hand it to her, smugface, walk away. Individually, this does not work very well if you look at it. However, since it is extremely quick (like a minute or so), it allows you to do it to a lot of females in a short amount of time. Not very many girls will call, but the second one does, you don't have to play any games trying to find out if she wants to bone. You made it clear what your intentions were when you gave her your number, so you don't gotta do much work at all. Just find a place to meet up and get busy. Learned this quite a long time ago from Tucker Max (tuckermax.com, great site, tons of funny ass stories) and it has worked extremely well for me.

And lets assume it would work, then we'd have to read further: "NEVER BE WEIRD That's it. Don't be weird. You have to deliver the opener deadpan. Like you are talking about the WEATHER. You are not making a BIG THING of it. You're just ASKING. You are not MOCKING. You are not JOKING. You are not TOO SERIOUS. It is NOT PLAYFUL however - it is REAL." [B]THAT THE HARD PART YOU FUCKING IDIOTS![/B] Of course you are trying NOT TO BE WEIRD. Fucking fuckityfuck that's the point of being NERVOUS when you approach a girl. Any idiot can say something like: I'd like you plumb you all night girl. OF COURSE. But it doesn't work(and that's where I agree with him ) BECAUSE IT LOOKS WEIRD. JESUS. That's why we make up stupid pickup lines like "I lost my mobile number, can I have yours." Do you guys really think it's about being "funny" or "creative" or being romantic? Of course not. It's because you want to distract from how nervous you are. So this won't work either. He says it will only work when you are "not weird" but in fact: That's the key to every pickup line and this one is no special.

"So... what's the best chat up line you've ever heard?" is actually a good one in and of itself. Gets the topic focused on her, and provides an opportunity for you both to laugh.

[QUOTE=Zeke129;20388716]"So... what's the best chat up line you've ever heard?" is actually a good one in and of itself. Gets the topic focused on her, and provides an opportunity for you both to laugh.[/QUOTE] Most girls that aren't stupid no-brainers will answer: Not this one. And over it is.

Can't try this yet, I'm stuck with teen night events which = no taking girls home. There's ways around it (girl you know has a "sleepover" with her "friend" [that's you] after the club) but that doesn't work with random girls.

what could possibly go wrong?

[QUOTE=Count Esco;20386792]Nah. I usually go with someting like.. "Babe, you make my software go hardware."[/QUOTE] Hah, I wish this worked... Only, showing any kind of interest in technology instantly makes people hate you. Sigh.

The chances of this working is amazing(-ly low) It has to work!

[QUOTE=Micr0;20388134]I'd laugh if somebody actually tried this. I mean, it [i]can't[/i] work... can it?[/QUOTE] Damn straight it "CAN" work. Some women will sleep with anyone given the chance. If your desperate for something, you can get it. Now mind you she might steal your wallet and give you aids :v:

[QUOTE=Livewire2440;20386827]Brb trying this *tries it, gets kicked in the balls* gais it didnt work did i do eet wrong?![/QUOTE] you're a shit poster

Gotta try this if i go to a trip in a country i will never come back. NOW you have nothing to lose.

If this was said to me I would laugh at you not necessarily go home with you :raise:

I'd like to say I could pull this off but chances are the anxiety would make me crack

Never needed to use this. It's easier to just find a girl that's into your personality, then you don't even have to try. That's how I do it at least.

I can do a pretty nice Irish accent, me n some friends went to a club about a week ago, and they placed a bet against me to see if I could get with a girl by using my fake Irish accent. It worked. :v:

This works because humans are all the same. If a girl came up to you and flat out asked you if you wanted to have sex with them, completely honestly, you'd accept if you weren't married or something. Everybody wants to have sex. The contrast between being male and female, especially in personality, is pretty blurry, at best. Nerds think women are from another world, but we're all from Earth and on Earth we all like sex.

[QUOTE=Smashmaster;20397546]This works because humans are all the same. [b]If a girl came up to you and flat out asked you if you wanted to have sex with them, completely honestly, you'd accept if you weren't married or something.[/b] Everybody wants to have sex. The contrast between being male and female, especially in personality, is pretty blurry, at best. Nerds think women are from another world, but we're all from Earth and on Earth we all like sex.[/QUOTE] Even if the guy was abstinent? Or isn't a fan of one night stands? Maybe wants a relationship rather than a night of mating? Sure everyone is primatively programmed to want sex, but if everyone was to go around fucking everything that moves, what would seperate us from the rest of the animals. Humans have set standards of life and that is what makes us human, the more primativley we think/act the less human we are and the more animalistic we become.

[QUOTE=SilverSondos;20387003]I intend to give it a try this weekend. If you guys want, I'll give you a full report on Sunday. I have faith that this absolutely works though, no questions about it. My friend can relate, as he has had a personal experience similar to this. Paraphrasing him, when he approached a hot girl he saw: "Hi. I'm going to skip all of the flirty bullshit, and just wanted to say that I want to screw you like a jackhammer." Said it was the best sex of his life. Hmmm...[/QUOTE] It might work but it requires more of you than just saying it. First off, you need confidence (as a person), you'll have to say it with confidence, be relative attractive, and some fuck-eyes

[QUOTE=Smashmaster;20397546] If a girl came up to you and flat out asked you if you wanted to have sex with them, completely honestly, you'd accept if you weren't married or something. [/QUOTE] Fuck no, if a girl said that to me my spidey sense would go off like like a fire alarm I've been rickrolled too many times to believe that sort of talk

[QUOTE=Sirdangolot5;20399063]Fuck no, if a girl said that to me my spidey sense would go off like like a fire alarm I've been rickrolled too many times to believe that sort of talk[/QUOTE] On one hand you would wanna say no because you think they would take the piss and laugh and on the other hand you wonder if it's serious and want to say yes

[QUOTE=DemonDog;20386761]If I tried that line I'd probably get punched in the face. [editline]04:55PM[/editline] or the crotch.[/QUOTE] Punched in the crotch? Do you date midgets?

This is quite possibly the stupidest idea anyone has ever had. Try saying this in rural Ohio in a club and you'll get smacked to next week.

[QUOTE=TEH_TPMASTER;20400101]This is quite possibly the stupidest idea anyone has ever had. Try saying this in rural Ohio in a club and you'll get smacked to next week.[/QUOTE] Or not.

If I now could only get the balls to talk to girls...

[QUOTE=TEH_TPMASTER;20400101]This is quite possibly the stupidest idea anyone has ever had. Try saying this in rural Ohio in a club and you'll get smacked to next week.[/QUOTE] Where in Ohio, if I may so ask. But remember, you're saying the pick-up line [I]in Ohio[/I], we're pretty much the lead runner when it comes to "hard to get."

The OP has pretty much hit the nail on the head with 'his' pick up line. It works on three very basic levels: 1. Pure, upfront, no-bullshit honesty 2. The human condition for sexual contact 3. Confidence The only problem with it is that only a relatively small number of males would be able to pull it off with effect. For some men it would be fairly easy, they have above average looks and boatloads of confidence, which is all you need, really, to get women. But for the rest of the population pulling that off without appearing 'weird' as mentioned before or just cracking and blowing the whole thing would be nigh on impossible.