Spanking your child as punishment- Ethical or not? - General

I was smacked, whipped and belted as a child and my mother would even scream that God would strike me down if I misbehave, I turned out fine but it was really scary sometimes. I guess just smacking your kid on the backside would do no harm, as long as you don't take it to the next level.

99% of the time, it is not a good form of punishment. Sometimes though, no matter what you do/how much you try nothing will work and you have no choice. An example was one of my friends' little sister. She would randomly run out into the road without looking, and no matter how much her parents tried to tell her not to do it/ground her for it/take away her toys she would just keep doing it. One day she came very close to getting run over, her Mum slapped her and she's been fine ever since.

there's a huge difference between spanking and punching your kid punching/beating your kid is the biggest no-no to raising a child spanking is beating is like saying "pizza is a vegetable"

Spanking isn't a horrible punishment like most of the posters here are saying. As long as you tell your kid why he was spanked, no harm done. I was raised by the belt, so I might have a skewed opinion, according to others. Also, there is a difference between spanking and beating your child. Spanking hardly has ever-lasting effects, beating the fuck out of your child does.

you say spanking hardly has ever-lasting effects, yet like i said every single organization interested in mental health and children's health disagrees with that.

[QUOTE=thisispain;35906106]you say spanking hardly has ever-lasting effects, yet like i said every single organization interested in mental health and children's health disagrees with that.[/QUOTE] All the health organizations also used to say being gay was a mental disorder and that eggs were bad for you.

[QUOTE=sgman91;35906156]All the health organizations also used to say being gay was a mental disorder and that eggs were bad for you.[/QUOTE] and science used to think the earth was flat! evolution is a lie!!

[QUOTE=sgman91;35906156]All the health organizations also used to say being gay was a mental disorder and that eggs were bad for you.[/QUOTE] and they also used to say spanking was good for children. we know better now.

[QUOTE=thisispain;35906223]and they also used to say spanking was good for children. we know better now.[/QUOTE] well, someone was wrong once, so now we can never trust anything ever.

I only remember getting spanked like twice, and I deserved those. As long as you use it as a last resort and balance it out with kindness it's fine. Just don't hit anywhere else than the buttcheeks.

[QUOTE=sgman91;35906156]All the health organizations also used to say being gay was a mental disorder and that eggs were bad for you.[/QUOTE] What, in the fucking 1920's? because none of them were saying spanking was bad back then.

My point isn't that can can't trust anyone, but that agreement within the community isn't an end all be all for finding truth... and no, they recently got rid of homosexuality from the list of mental disorders. They also very recently found that the cholesterol in eggs is actually good for you.

yeah well i'd rather trust the person with a medical degree and case studies than the underage facepuncher defending his parents' mistakes.

[QUOTE=sgman91;35909471]My point isn't that can can't trust anyone, but that agreement within the community isn't an end all be all for finding truth... and no, they recently got rid of homosexuality from the list of mental disorders. They also very recently found that the cholesterol in eggs is actually good for you.[/QUOTE] You can go ahead and cite those.

I was spanked as a kid. Never a first resort, there were always steps up to spanking. I'd get [I]The Look[/I] and "Thats One." I knew I was doing something wrong, I knew it before doing it. The Look was just "I saw that, cut that out". If she had to count anymore or vocalize that she wanted me to stop, I was obviously still screwing up. I also did time outs, which really bugged the hell out of me but didn't really teach me anything. Grounding became commonplace for me when I was in school. Missed a [I]lot[/I] of halloweens because I was grounded. I got grounded mostly for bad grades though. Normal grounding didn't work either. No TV? Computer instead. No computer? Playstation. Nothing electronic? I'll just play with my legos. No legos either? I'll read. They actually grounded me from reading once, but thats because I was being a little shit about it. "Okay, I'll just read then" 'No you won't, can't do that anymore either' Past that, spanking was a last resort, end of the rope, nothing else is doing anything. And the only time that came into play was with my grades. (I had really bad grades in school) They tried [I]everything[/I] to get me to just do the damn work, and to be honest I still don't know why I didn't. They could ground me from everything and I'd [I]still[/I] find a way to screw off. I respect the hell out of my parents, but I don't fear them and I never did. I feared their wrath, I feared the punishments, but I never feared my parents. No matter how much trouble I was in, if I got hurt? I want [I]MOM.[/I] And she was always there. Time outs? Grounding? If that works, cool, go for it. Spanking/swatting on the ass? Last resort. [I]Last[/I] resort. Beating? Absolutely NOT. The ass is all I got spanked on, and its all you should ever get spanked on. All in all, it depends on the kid. i was a crafty bugger, I built a computer in my closet out of spare basement parts just to check my email. I knew afterwards that dad knew i had it, I mean, the dude monitors all network traffic, he knew. He didn't do anything about it because he admired it. He'd do something occasionally like block the IP or change the gateway, and I'd get around it and keep on trucking. He knew good and damn well what I was doing.

[QUOTE=thisispain;35909490]yeah well i'd rather trust the person with a medical degree and case studies than the underage facepuncher defending his parents' mistakes.[/QUOTE] I received a beating with a belt and I turned out [I]great.[/I]

[QUOTE=Lankist;35909518]You can go ahead and cite those.[/QUOTE] Homosexuality was maintained as a mental disorder until 1973 and 1975 for the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association, respectively. -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disorders A study in 2006 showed that the cholesterol in eggs actually is one of the most healthy types of cholesterol around and my in fact may help reduce the risk for heart disease. - [URL]http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/7301/title/Reevaluating_Eggs_Cholesterol_Risks[/URL]

As far as modern parenting trends go, it's unacceptable. If I would to have kids I could think of better ways to teach them right and wrong. But the question goes, how does a parent properly raise a child in this day and age? Although I agree with some posters above I think people misconstrue spanking but hey, if experts in child psychology say it's wrong, who am I to argue?

I'm all for banning the ritualistic beatings that schools and some parents used to dish out. I remember being in a supermarket queue behind a man with an annoying kid, about 6 years old. I didn't see what the kid did, but at one point the father took out a notebook and pencil and made a note. Then he said something like "That's another one in the book. One more and it's the belt when we get home." 1. There's something a bit sick about making a note of punishments and dishing them out at the end of the day, hours after the kid's forgotten what it was about. It's psychological torture. 2. This kid was definitely old enough to be punished in a different way. No TV or sweets for a 6 year old is like the end of the world, use that if you need to punish him. 3. Using a belt is way too far in any case, even if it was just a threat. I just don't why people consider this sort of thing the same as giving a toddler a quick slap to stop them from playing with a socket, there's an obvious difference. I also don't see why a perfectly good parent instantly becomes a child abuser if they hit their child in any way, but there's no problem with, for example, parents who ignore their kids except for when they're telling them off (to the point that the kids learn that the only way to get attention is to misbehave). It may be much more damaging to the development of the child, but at least they never have any violence inflicted on them.

[QUOTE=sgman91;35910580]Homosexuality was maintained as a mental disorder until 1973 and 1975 for the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association, respectively. -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disorders A study in 2006 showed that the cholesterol in eggs actually is one of the most healthy types of cholesterol around and my in fact may help reduce the risk for heart disease. - [URL]http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/7301/title/Reevaluating_Eggs_Cholesterol_Risks[/URL][/QUOTE] I'm really failing to see the point of this. All you're doing is proving that there was a lot of dumb shit in circulation when people used to think spanking was good, and that that's been amended now when people know spanking is bad.

[QUOTE=sgman91;35910580]Homosexuality was maintained as a mental disorder until 1973 and 1975 for the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association, respectively. -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disorders A study in 2006 showed that the cholesterol in eggs actually is one of the most healthy types of cholesterol around and my in fact may help reduce the risk for heart disease. - [URL]http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/7301/title/Reevaluating_Eggs_Cholesterol_Risks[/URL][/QUOTE] So forty years ago is "recently?"

[QUOTE=Soleeedus;35811810]nice reference anyway, spanking your kid on the ass is good as punishment, teaches them discipline. if you make empty threats at them without taking action, they [B]WILL[/B] walk over you. even if you take their shit away, they'll find away to bitch/moan/be a cunt again[/QUOTE] The reference to empty threats is a bit out of the blue? Abstaining from corporal punishment does not equate to making empty threats.

When I did a bad thing I would get spanked/belted or "pick my own switch" and wouldn't do that bad thing (usually) anymore. I also turned out fine and have a great life, now. I think "no physical discipline" played a big part in shaping the online world you see today, think about it next time you play an online game. I wonder what will happen when these kids grow up?

You all want a link to a forum that's for girls and parents and it's mostly about spankings?

[QUOTE=TestECull;35806882]Grounding doesn't work. Timeouts don't work. Spanking does. I was spanked as a kid. Never severely, and I really had to cock up to get it, but I did get a couple thwacks on the ass a couple times. Unlike the OP, though, I didn't end up violent because of it, and I don't hate or resent my parents over it.[/QUOTE] This seems to be a common psychological phenomenon in which a person will pretend that something is moral in order to keep a relationship. This is to say that a person will not believe spanking is immoral because they don't want to resent their parents. The reason is based in Stockholm syndrome in which a person adapts their logical inclination in order to survive. There are massive complications when someone is being physically abused by the people they are dependent upon for survival. Since the subconscious tends to value survival more than reason and evidence, a false belief is made to allow survival. It might not hurt to do some thinking about this for a few weeks to see if you fit into the above. Everyone is prone to these psychological phenomenons, and I believe it is important to ensure you aren't affect by one.

I got arrested and arraned a couple of weeks ago, when I told my mom she beat the shit out of me kinda wish they kept me o_o

Not spanking, but actually hitting a kid, would help for that kid to prepare to outside world stronger and manlier. Making him cry, so that he won't never cry anymore. Making him getting the worst, so the other ones would be nothing to him.

Well, personally in my own experience it's rather awful. My mother has a thyroid condition she doesn't talk about and has an insanely short temper with an incredibly nasty attitude. When she tells someone to do something in our house she loves taking 5 minutes to go about it and will often rub things in. For example, forgetting to clear up a glass off the table when cleaning the kitchen can result in sarcastic remarks and shouting. She has rarely struck our young sister (she always wanted a girl and she has made that out) but it was her go-to punishment for us. Misbehaving would nearly always result in being hit, and as such I have never had any kind of relationship or conversation with her that is not straight to an important point. To explain, the fear of being struck in the face was so great that when I had my first detention for not doing homework, I burst into tears. I was always emotive about it until about 13. Another situation would be in primary school when I was told by a friend to "say willy wonka 10 times as fast as you can", I was about 8 or 9 and the result was that it blended into "Willy Wanker". My mother was told and the punishment was being slapped in the face, mouth forced open with washing up liquid poured in and then pushed over and being told she was "Disgusted with me". All of these would be followed up with being grounded, toys removed or other punishments, and always accompanied with excessive shouting. I couldn't love my mother any less as a result, she still tries to be pushy with my brother and I today and we are getting sick of it. I wouldn't bat an eyelid if she disappeared tomorrow. Spanking is a part of bad parenting and it's pathetic, thinking about my experiences makes me want to hurt her, your kids will hate you if you use it as a regular punishment.

[QUOTE=eurocracy;35954196]Well, personally in my own experience it's rather awful. My mother has a thyroid condition she doesn't talk about and has an insanely short temper with an incredibly nasty attitude. When she tells someone to do something in our house she loves taking 5 minutes to go about it and will often rub things in. For example, forgetting to clear up a glass off the table when cleaning the kitchen can result in sarcastic remarks and shouting. She has rarely struck our young sister (she always wanted a girl and she has made that out) but it was her go-to punishment for us. Misbehaving would nearly always result in being hit, and as such I have never had any kind of relationship or conversation with her that is not straight to an important point. To explain, the fear of being struck in the face was so great that when I had my first detention for not doing homework, I burst into tears. I was always emotive about it until about 13. Another situation would be in primary school when I was told by a friend to "say willy wonka 10 times as fast as you can", I was about 8 or 9 and the result was that it blended into "Willy Wanker". My mother was told and the punishment was being slapped in the face, mouth forced open with washing up liquid poured in and then pushed over and being told she was "Disgusted with me". All of these would be followed up with being grounded, toys removed or other punishments, and always accompanied with excessive shouting. I couldn't love my mother any less as a result, she still tries to be pushy with my brother and I today and we are getting sick of it. I wouldn't bat an eyelid if she disappeared tomorrow. Spanking is a part of bad parenting and it's pathetic, thinking about my experiences makes me want to hurt her, your kids will hate you if you use it as a regular punishment.[/QUOTE] I think this kind of punishment is not acceptable. I don't feel I have been harmed by being smacked on occasion when I was a kid and I have a really great relationship with my family, but when parents punish their kids so harshly over stupid things like this it's really wrong.

i was spanked and was raised up in a middle class family with manners and very well rounded. it didn't teach me to hate or fear my parents it taught me not to do those things. my dad would give me a warning. i most of the time already knew to stop but if i kept going then he would take off his belt and smack me. it taught me and is a way to create respect not hatred or fear.