Crossdressing & Transgender & A̲L̲L̲I̲E̲S̲ Discussion v. Thread Reassignment Surgery - General

Guess my doctor wants me to go without t-blockers for a while and there's nothing I can do about. :downs:

No offense but your doctor sounds like a bit of an ass. Did he not give a reason?

Just that he wants to see how my body reacts to it.

this therapist asked for payment a week in advance. so I emailed her a week in advance of my appointment, asking for payment details, and have heard nothing since. it's now 3 days before my appointment and I don't even know the address I'm supposed to be turning up at! what bullshit. I've been looking forward to this for months and now it's like lol is it even going to happen [editline]8th September 2017[/editline] oh well. who needs a therapist to tell you you're trans, huh

Was I genetically predisposed to having mental illness or was I coerced to relinquish any and all agency that I have after years of social media usage. Still trying to figure out the truths of myself by discovering the lies about myself. Self-Harming became the only way to tell if I have anything left in me, for a while. I felt indifferent about it eventually. Whatever you want to call it ("Treatment") feels out of reach and unnecessary to me now. Even if my days mean nothing I should keep pushing on. I plan on living forever. - Pepsi™ "Drink Phresh; die while hugging." [img]https://i.imgur.com/tTupDNM.jpg[/img]

I'm just gonna share my current situation and thoughts, it might help me do something about it. I think I'm mtf, I have been on hormones for about 2.5 years and I have changed my name. But in those years I haven't left home and I haven't met or talked with any friends or extended family. The only people I have any contact with is my parents (who I live with) and my brother. I never wear any feminine clothes (i only wear hoodies and sweatpants) or makeup, and I haven't worked to change my voice. So I appear male other than my name and pathetic "breasts". I think I look disgusting and I'm terrified of what people will think of me. Every time I try to be feminine I just notice how male I am and I just start crying. I get anxious just being close to a window because someone might spot me when walking past. I kinda feel like I should give up on the sex change thing and just go back to being male, because then I could have a life. But my masculinity makes me feel horrible, and I don't want it for the rest of my life. I'm too weak to get out of this situation, I don't know what to do.

You literally just described me, I really wish I could offer some help but I'm a bit stuck my self

A friend of my friend is transgender and lives in Germany, does anyone here know how she should proceed? She's 15 years old, and doesn't have a therapist to talk to about this. I don't really know the german laws or what trans people should do to get treatment.

What does RLE stand for? Google doesn't help.

Real Life Experience.

Swear there's never really a straight forward way. Germany has that near barbaric system, UK we end up waiting for ages due to a pressured health system (or you get lucky as fuck and fly through it, its either one or the other) and then there is the US, thats one hell of a kettle of fish there, if you got money its a cake walk otherwise you can basically go fuck yourself and its a coin flip if you get a non-biased doctor as well.

[QUOTE=gtanoofa;52662701]i can't imagine someone waiting for 2-3 years or more[/QUOTE] Imagine being on the waiting list for 3 years, yeah welcome to my personal hell. 2 more weeks then I'll be getting my final answer.

I suppose I've been lucky, I told my therapist I'm trans just almost 5 years ago but I haven't gotten too much more masculine since then (bit more facial hair growth but otherwise I look very much the same) and actually feel better about my body image, even though I still am eager to start HRT soon (according to the secretary of the gender clinic, might take some months until a doctor has the time to call me)

God yeah, Real Life Experience is such a shitty thing to require. It reeks of cis doctors that haven't actually asked trans people what it's like to BE trans.

hey what are some tips for people who are growing out hair?

[QUOTE=Dazzgrace;52663492]hey what are some tips for people who are growing out hair?[/QUOTE] get it trimmed every 3-4 months otherwise split ends start to develop

Is there a general conversion between men's and women's sizes? Every time I go to buy clothes I realise I'm way in over my head and immediately do a U-Turn away from the women's section and hope no one saw me.

[QUOTE=The golden;52664021]Not really. The sizing for women's clothing is generally a fucking mess. It not only varies by brand but it can vary massively within the same brand.[/QUOTE] Ah, that makes things tricky I suppose. I guess I'll just have to wait until I get my own place and order online off places that have the hip/waist/chest/etc displayed.

It depends on a lot of factors unfortunately. Women's clothing sizing is absolutely bonkers and kind of heavily depends on the brand you're buying. Or the store. Whenever I'm buying men's shirts I can usually just grab a "small" no matter where I am and be like hey, this'll fit me. But I have to try on anything that is women's (which, I don't do that often now just because I'm wearing less from the women's section) because they have a tendency to be so particular in their fit. What kind of clothes are you looking at though? And what size are you generally? I'd say there's maybe like a BALLPARK conversion but you'll have to try things on to make sure.

[QUOTE=kobalt;52664013]Is there a general conversion between men's and women's sizes? Every time I go to buy clothes I realise I'm way in over my head and immediately do a U-Turn away from the women's section and hope no one saw me.[/QUOTE] Get your measurements and shop from an online store with a good return policy.

[QUOTE=bananaslamma;52664031]Get your measurements and shop from an online store with a good return policy.[/QUOTE] this is also an option lol. There are some online stores that'll let you try things on and return them if they don't fit though. They're speciality stores and expensive, but they're out there.

Unfortunately, I live with my family who're very nosy and would probably give me shit to no end if they found me buying skirts and stuff. I'm sure I'll figure out something, thanks for the help.

I'm not too keen on going out in public, but I like forearm warmers n shit. They legit just feel nice, whyse theyse gotta be negative connotations surrounding them when boyos wear 'em? R.I.P. me. [IMG]https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DJQCCiIV4AA8ife.jpg[/IMG]

fingerless gloves and forearm warmers are comfort clothes, they look weird on anyone.

[QUOTE=kobalt;52664042]Unfortunately, I live with my family who're very nosy and would probably give me shit to no end if they found me buying skirts and stuff. I'm sure I'll figure out something, thanks for the help.[/QUOTE] Maybe start off with something a little more subtle. Women's shirts are usually different from men's because they're tighter around the arms and the waists are more pulled in to accentuate the curve of the waist and hips and you can feel the difference, but most people probably wouldn't look too much into it if it was fairly androgynous. My family is nosy too so I generally keep the men's wear to shirts right now since it's not obvious. It's a good first step.

[QUOTE=Bordellimies;52662572]A friend of my friend is transgender and lives in Germany, does anyone here know how she should proceed? She's 15 years old, and doesn't have a therapist to talk to about this. I don't really know the german laws or what trans people should do to get treatment.[/QUOTE] I asked a friend about this and here's what she says: [quote]you simply lie about having 2 years of RLE, there's no way for them to check it anyways Everyone I know did it I was "full time" before hormones but I still said I was longer than I actually was Though she's only 15 so I don't really know how it works at that age, plus her parents could be a problem[/quote]

[QUOTE=Levithan;52662804]God yeah, Real Life Experience is such a shitty thing to require. It reeks of cis doctors that haven't actually asked trans people what it's like to BE trans.[/QUOTE] Gate keeping is and always will be detrimental to someone's health.

[QUOTE=Bordellimies;52662572]A friend of my friend is transgender and lives in Germany, does anyone here know how she should proceed? She's 15 years old, and doesn't have a therapist to talk to about this. I don't really know the german laws or what trans people should do to get treatment.[/QUOTE] Thanks for doing this. I was planning on asking here myself but it looks like you got here before me. The person Bordellimies is talking about is someone I know. She is 15 (nearly 16) years old and lives in southern Germany. She has only just decided, a few days ago, that she is trans, after admitting that she was in denial about it for almost a year. I've told her to look up gender specialists and help lines and that sort of thing, but I don't even know how trans people proceed here in NZ, much less in Germany. If any of you have any more advice, that would be much appreciated. [QUOTE=biodude94566;52664194]I asked a friend about this and here's what she says:[/QUOTE] Cool, thanks. I'll pass this information on. Would it be possible to arrange for your friend to be in contact with her? I think that'd be very helpful.

[QUOTE=Samiam22;52666114]Cool, thanks. I'll pass this information on. Would it be possible to arrange for your friend to be in contact with her? I think that'd be very helpful.[/QUOTE] I can ask, sure! Do you want to PM me contact information?

[QUOTE=biodude94566;52666380]I can ask, sure! Do you want to PM me contact information?[/QUOTE] That'd be great, thanks.