Crossdressing & Transgender & A̲L̲L̲I̲E̲S̲ Discussion v. Thread Reassignment Surgery

[Reagy]

[QUOTE=ZnT00;53095420]~guess who just got rid of all her old men's t-shirts~

still gotta work on filling the rest of my wardrobe tho!![/QUOTE]

This has made me realise I've got so many unisex clothes its stupid.

[Bordey]

Oooooh snap, just got home from a visit to the gender clinic
With prescription for 7 months worth of estrogen & T-blockers!

Almost five and a half years of mostly just waiting for stuff and now I actually get to go and pick up the medication tomorrow, feels sorta surreal

[Bordey]

[QUOTE=Butthurter;53104849]just love scrolling thru FB and seeing a post from a ~friend~ who goes out of her way to take a huge dump on tomboyish girls and transmen

but then she buddies around with me and adores how effeminate i look and how we should go shopping together more[/QUOTE]

Reminds me of how a lot of gay men seem to hate lesbians and many lesbians seem to hate gay men. Doesn't make sense, but it happens.

[Ramona Flowers]

coming out to my brothers in an hour

yikesyikesyikesyikesyikesyikesyikesyikes

[Venomousbeetle]

[QUOTE=Butthurter;53104849]just love scrolling thru FB and seeing a post from a ~friend~ who goes out of her way to take a huge dump on tomboyish girls and transmen

but then she buddies around with me and adores how effeminate i look and how we should go shopping together more[/QUOTE]

I've had a theory that stuff like this is from some kind of subordinate treatment that comes from a lack of respect

You ever notice how some upper class misogynists seem to spoil their daughters despite their attitude towards women? Almost like they're treating them like a pet or something, not having real respect for them.

I don't know if that's the situation but it's something I've thought about for awhile.

Have you confronted them?

[editline]3rd February 2018[/editline]

[QUOTE=ZnT00;53105707]coming out to my brothers in an hour

yikesyikesyikesyikesyikesyikesyikesyikes[/QUOTE]

Good luck!

[Ramona Flowers]

[QUOTE=ZnT00;53105707]coming out to my brothers in an hour

yikesyikesyikesyikesyikesyikesyikesyikes[/QUOTE]

hey it went okay

and by that i mean they already knew lol

[Twat Fingers]

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;53106055]I've had a theory that stuff like this is from some kind of subordinate treatment that comes from a lack of respect

You ever notice how some upper class misogynists seem to spoil their daughters despite their attitude towards women? Almost like they're treating them like a pet or something, not having real respect for them.

I don't know if that's the situation but it's something I've thought about for awhile.

Have you confronted them?[/QUOTE]

Confrontation proves nothing to these people. Their worldviews are curried and melded through years of blacksmith-like parenting and hammering into shape by the society around them. Don't waste your time on others. Don't waste your time fixing people that aren't worth it and don't want your help. Your life is too short to simply throw away trying to clean up every toxic spill you come across.

[Venomousbeetle]

[QUOTE=Clovis;53108922]The best thing you can do is be a good example for people so maybe theyll realise all this shit theyve been fed about stigmatizing people for being different is total bullshit[/QUOTE]

This is the best solution. Was just curious if their contradiction has been pointed out to them

[AprilMoon]

your hair is very pretty!

[Boozy&Bitter]

Those socks&shoes are beautiful.

[Ramona Flowers]

I'm in desperate need of voice training resources, i have no idea where to start.

[DaDillsta]

[QUOTE=Rubs10;53113731]Those socks&shoes are beautiful.[/QUOTE]

Yeah I love platform shoes but I’m tall and have large feet so it’s hard to find stuff that’s cutesy.

[Ramona Flowers]

[QUOTE=Clovis;53117730]Sometimes i feel like i'd be better off learning sign language then changing my voice :([/QUOTE]

If i can't make my voice sound naturally female then i'm going to have to stop talking forever honestly. i can't live with this voice

[Miya]

[url]https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1ske7b/mtf_voice_training_regimen/[/url]

good starting point

[nlxr]

[QUOTE=ZnT00;53117645]I'm in desperate need of voice training resources, i have no idea where to start.[/QUOTE]

[URL="https://www.reddit.com/r/transvoice"]/r/transvoice[/URL] is a pretty decent resource for methods and videos and other things that can help you guide your voice in the right direction.

I also heard some good stuff about a channel called Deep Stealth on youtube that may help out with voice training but I haven't really utilized that resource myself.

Voice training is pretty daunting at first, but voice is like an instrument and the more you practice the easier it'll be to manipulate it.

[Kotov]

[QUOTE=gtanoofa;53121619]I have a question.

So my mom has suggested to go to a restaurant and in the movies and i want to, but if i do i'm gonna present female to which my sister has objections to and her reasoning is "if my friends find out about you, i really don't want the backlash". Both my parents are being sympathetic to my sister and my dad even encouraged me to present male so my sister comes. Am i being an asshole here or is it my sister? I don't even know anymore.[/QUOTE]

I'd say that your sister is being unreasonable tbh.

[slayer20]

Tell your sister to shut up. If her "friends" stop hanging out with her because of something you do, they're not very good friends.

[Twat Fingers]

Your sister is a fuckhead, sorry to say.

[HazzaHardie]

Hi, one of my best friends has recently come out as transgender to her close friend group. What's the best ways to help and support her throughout this whole thing?

[Candy Bee]

Everyone is different! Ask her! Generally speaking, though, being educated on what it means to be transgender and doing your best to use the correct pronouns and names, along with basic respect for her as a person goes a long way.

[HazzaHardie]

[QUOTE=biodude94566;53124809]Everyone is different! Ask her! Generally speaking, though, being educated on what it means to be transgender and doing your best to use the correct pronouns and names, along with basic respect for her as a person goes a long way.[/QUOTE]

Thanks, that's exactly what I want to do. I was asking here because Facepunch tend to be friendly people (for the most part) and I guess the people that frequent this thread know exactly what she's going through, so hopefully I could use their experience so that I say or do something that might be taken the wrong way, like I don't want to patronise or whatever.

[Candy Bee]

[QUOTE=HazzaHardie;53124833]Thanks, that's exactly what I want to do. I was asking here because Facepunch tend to be friendly people (for the most part) and I guess the people that frequent this thread know exactly what she's going through, so hopefully I could use their experience so that I say or do something that might be taken the wrong way, like I don't want to patronise or whatever.[/QUOTE]
Really, you've already shown you're interested in doing the right thing, and that's [i]a lot[/i] more than other people can say. Don't get overly anxious and worrisome about what you say and do, she should understand that you'll make some mistakes, won't know everything, etc. Be willing to apologize and ready to learn! Remember, she's still the same person, she's only changing how she presents herself.

[Katska]

Taking my measurements for the first time in a while

I gotta be doing something wrong because all my shit falls into cis female averages, what the fuck?

[AtomicSans]

Dysphoria is so complicated and I still haven't begun to make heads or tails of it.

I don't think I'm actually dysphoric and yet I still wish I was a girl, and nobody can agree on what that means. Some people say that you can't be trans at all without being dysphoric, some people say that you can, some people say that that makes me a dirty transtrender, and I hear all of these opinions explained in ways that make me agree with them, so I don't know what's true at all.

Or am I actually dysphoric? I have no idea, sometimes things seem to fit together and make sense and other times I feel like I'm trying to misattribute random anxieties and negative feelings to dysphoria to reinforce an internal narrative and that's such an impossible tangle of thoughts to work through because when you have thoughts about thoughts it becomes a spaghetti of your own brain's meta-narrative and oh god I can't deal with it, I just want answers and there aren't any answers anywhere, ever

[editline]11th February 2018[/editline]

the word "dysphoria" isn't even a word with a consistent definition, you've got your DSM-V definition and a million other ways people interpret what dysphoria means to them, it just doesn't make sense

[editline]11th February 2018[/editline]

I literally just want to be told I qualify or I don't qualify and that is all I want and I guess that isn't something I'm ever going to be told, but I have to be because I cannot be trusted with thinking these thoughts for myself

[Venomousbeetle]

I hope you find what you're looking for

[Katska]

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;53125451]the word "dysphoria" isn't even a word with a consistent definition, you've got your DSM-V definition and a million other ways people interpret what dysphoria means to them, it just doesn't make sense[/QUOTE]

that's the key, really

Dysphoria is an incredibly broad term that just describes any negative feelings one might have about their assigned gender, like it's not really in itself a specific psychological phenomenon that's exactly the same between everyone who suffers from it

I could go into more detail about this but I really have to get to bed, in the meantime I'd still suggest worrying less about whether you are or aren't "really trans" and more about whether or not transitioning or taking certain steps would make you happier

[GayIlluminati]

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;53125451]Dysphoria is so complicated and I still haven't begun to make heads or tails of it.

I don't think I'm actually dysphoric and yet I still wish I was a girl, and nobody can agree on what that means. Some people say that you can't be trans at all without being dysphoric, some people say that you can, some people say that that makes me a dirty transtrender, and I hear all of these opinions explained in ways that make me agree with them, so I don't know what's true at all.

Or am I actually dysphoric? I have no idea, sometimes things seem to fit together and make sense and other times I feel like I'm trying to misattribute random anxieties and negative feelings to dysphoria to reinforce an internal narrative and that's such an impossible tangle of thoughts to work through because when you have thoughts about thoughts it becomes a spaghetti of your own brain's meta-narrative and oh god I can't deal with it, I just want answers and there aren't any answers anywhere, ever

[editline]11th February 2018[/editline]

the word "dysphoria" isn't even a word with a consistent definition, you've got your DSM-V definition and a million other ways people interpret what dysphoria means to them, it just doesn't make sense

[editline]11th February 2018[/editline]

I literally just want to be told I qualify or I don't qualify and that is all I want and I guess that isn't something I'm ever going to be told, but I have to be because I cannot be trusted with thinking these thoughts for myself[/QUOTE]

For what it's worth, when I was first coming to terms with being trans, the whole forbidden thought aspect manifested itself similarly to what you are describing.

[AtomicSans]

[QUOTE=Katska;53125487]that's the key, really

Dysphoria is an incredibly broad term that just describes any negative feelings one might have about their assigned gender, like it's not really in itself a specific psychological phenomenon that's exactly the same between everyone who suffers from it

I could go into more detail about this but I really have to get to bed, in the meantime I'd still suggest worrying less about whether you are or aren't "really trans" and more about whether or not transitioning or taking certain steps would make you happier[/QUOTE]

I think it would make me much happier, or at least not feel as terrible all the time, but I don't want to do something I shouldn't or don't qualify for just because it'd make me happy.

[Bordey]

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;53125451]Some people say that you can't be trans at all without being dysphoric[/QUOTE]

This is what my mom believes, she accepted my brother coming out as transgender because he showed signs since he was like 6 or 7 years old, but since I didn't until I was 18 she just thinks I'm trying to mirror my brother's situation to myself and I'm not really thinking this through or something.

Thing is, I haven't doubted my transgender identity since I started thinking about it, and I absolutely do not believe I ever will. But I still don't feel terribly dysphoric, I don't like my current self but it's manageable.

And yeah, as others said, don't let others define you, it's your body and your life.

[AtomicSans]

I'm going to end up having a breakdown with all this stuff being what it is everywhere and I just can't handle anything, I need to go to bed