Crossdressing & Transgender & A̲L̲L̲I̲E̲S̲ Discussion v. Thread Reassignment Surgery

[Amber902]

[QUOTE=Zero_;49942541]Psych wards are awful.
Don't even think of committing suicide, girls. You will be both creep out and bored out of your mind when they force you to go to a psych ward,[/QUOTE]
Ehh it depends entirely on the hospital. Some of them can be genuinely good and helpful, others make you feel like you're in a prison

[arlygoodbrownie]

[QUOTE=MissingGlitch;49941657]I hate having body hair so much. It really disgusts me how it wants to grow EVERYWHERE. Thanks testosterone for making me feel disgusted at my self. :v:

I want to shave it all off. But some of it is in hard to reach places and I figure whats the point when it will just be fully grown back in a day or two.[/QUOTE]

It's stuff like this that makes me wonder if there's any kind of hormonal therapy possible without having gender dysphoria.

[Backsalot]

So you know that feeling when you phone up the clinic to ask when your appointment is, only to be told it was in November and that they sent out 2 letters, and because I didn't respond so they removed me from the waiting list.

The kicker? They sent them to the wrong address because the secretary working there never updated my home address even after I gave them my new address in July.
I've had to give them my address 3 times over the phone so far.

[cynaraos]

I've come out to (just) a lady I know from school, who knows somebody who is apparently fairly experienced in treating transpeople.
because of this, I'm probably not going to have to go to my general practitioner, to be referred to a psychologist, to in turn be referred to pretty much the only people who treat transpeople who are related to the government healthcare in my country.

she's actually the first person to ask me about whether or not [I]"I like being male"[/I], and I just thought I would answer that question with honesty.

[flashn00b]

I have returned from death, and I am genuinely curious about the idea of waist training. I know some people would go overboard and wear that corset tightly enough to greatly alter their internal organs, though if i were to say keep it within my waist girth, would I be able to achieve that slim stomach while keeping a functioning digestive system?

[Qaus]

so my mom wants to start a blog about the effects me coming out as transgender is having on her.
i thought it was an okay idea, it could basically be a public journal she could keep that other people can reply and comment on and send her questions.

the idea sounded fine right up until she told me what she wanted to call it and now i just can't process how i feel about it.

she wants to call it "Losing [my birth name]"

[editline]19th March 2016[/editline]

she's explained to me that she knows that i'm not going to be a different person and that i'm not going anywhere, but she keeps telling me that she feels like she's 'losing a son'.

[Mini Shot]

[QUOTE=Qaus;49964082]so my mom wants to start a blog about the effects me coming out as transgender is having on her.
i thought it was an okay idea, it could basically be a public journal she could keep that other people can reply and comment on and send her questions.

the idea sounded fine right up until she told me what she wanted to call it and now i just can't process how i feel about it.

she wants to call it "Losing [my birth name]"

[editline]19th March 2016[/editline]

she's explained to me that she knows that i'm not going to be a different person and that i'm not going anywhere, but she keeps telling me that she feels like she's 'losing a son'.[/QUOTE]

The only way I could see a blog with a title like that being positive at all is if it began with "Losing [Birth Name]" and ended with "Gaining [Chosen Name]", but that's just some book narrative bull-crap. If the blog is just gonna cause you both more pain, you should advise her not to go through with it, imo

[fear me]

The whole thing sounds like passive-aggressive guilt trip bullshit and I feel like your mom would be better off confronting you with it and talking it out than "my son died ;(((((((("

[Turnips5]

that's not just a dumb idea of your mother's, it's flat-out narcissistic indulgence. she may love you dearly and you may love her back but she needs to understand that she isn't "losing" anyone, holy fuck, you're not going anywhere and are basically just trying to become a happier version of your current self

[editline]19th March 2016[/editline]

what is it with mothers and this. I have told my mum, she's nominally supportive, but really I think she is in deep denial that this is even happening. I know she loves me and has my best interests at heart (i.e. doesn't really "get" how I feel and probably thinks inviting societal isolation because of it is a bad idea) but I'm really quite afraid that she will start to double back when I start actually changing my appearance or behaviour

[Hark]

[QUOTE=Qaus;49964082]so my mom wants to start a blog about the effects me coming out as transgender is having on her.
i thought it was an okay idea, it could basically be a public journal she could keep that other people can reply and comment on and send her questions.

the idea sounded fine right up until she told me what she wanted to call it and now i just can't process how i feel about it.

she wants to call it "Losing [my birth name]"

[editline]19th March 2016[/editline]

she's explained to me that she knows that i'm not going to be a different person and that i'm not going anywhere, but she keeps telling me that she feels like she's 'losing a son'.[/QUOTE]

It's a manipulative and narcissistic way to try guilt you while having plausible deniability

pretty big red flag

[MissingGlitch]

It must really suck to have a parent(s) be unsupportive or passive-aggressive about who you are. That can't be easy mentally.

I know it's something I really fear.

[Shark Bones]

Gotta love when parents act like they have some sort of ownership or right to determine your identity.

I hate people who have kids expecting those kids to be their little slaves.

[Boatplugs]

[QUOTE=The golden;49968501]It's what I fear most. Telling my father. Although that being said he's been generally really good dealing with me. I'm a very strange and "different" person and he's handled it well although he doesn't know about everything I do or enjoy.

I mean he's found a pair of panties I had once that I accidentally left in the bathroom. He said, and I quote: "Uh this was in the bathroom....Actually you know what, never mind." And he walked away and never spoke of it ever again. Not even any tension afterwards.

So I have decent hopes but not amazingly high.

[editline]20th March 2016[/editline]

Also I would like to thank the FP users from within and outside this thread that have contacted me via PM or Steam to check on me and offer me support. It does mean a lot to me.[/QUOTE]

My parents caught me cross-dressing on multiple occasions. Pretty much repressed my feelings until I was 21 because of that.

[MissingGlitch]

At most my mother found a pair of my girly socks which I claimed are unisex and I thought looked cute.

Don't know what I would say if she found my Harley Quinn thigh highs (knee on me) :v:
Guess the cat would be out of the bag then.

[Eila]

I have a new job now, after like 2 years. I got a sensible chuckle out of the company previously having Trans in it's name.

I wonder what their girl uniform will be like. If it's pretty reserved I might ask if I can use it.

[Qaus]

[QUOTE=The golden;49965304]If your transitioning is having that much effect on her then she needs to see someone to help her cope with it.[/quote]

She's seeing me, she's actually stopped the dumb act and is willing to have me explain things to her rather than tell me what I'm saying. (exception being what exactly she's 'losing')

It's probably a better idea for her to find a therapist, but she sees therapy as something for people that are deeply depressed or insane so the effort required to convince her to do that isn't worth it.

[QUOTE=The golden;49965304]
Making a blog to help her vent her feelings is sort of the right idea but I can really only seeing that hurt both of you in the long run. She's not really going to be learning anything rather than just venting her feelings.

Edit: Publicizing your transition is probably only going to draw harassment to her and you and the family too. She should probably find another way.[/QUOTE]

If either of us encounter problems we'll talk about it again and probably close the blog down or make it password protected.

[QUOTE=Mini Shot;49966905]The only way I could see a blog with a title like that being positive at all is if it began with "Losing [Birth Name]" and ended with "[B]Gaining [Chosen Name][/B]"[/quote]
I actually planned on pushing this idea at some point, but i'm not going to just blurt it out.

[QUOTE=Mini Shot;49966905]but that's just some book narrative bull-crap. If the blog is just gonna cause you both more pain, you should advise her not to go through with it, imo[/QUOTE]
Emphasis on "IF". I don't see it causing pain for either of us, but I don't see it helping matters either.

[QUOTE=fear me;49966949]The whole thing sounds like passive-aggressive guilt trip bullshit and I feel like your mom would be better off confronting you with it and talking it out than "my son died ;(((((((("[/QUOTE]
She actually approached me with the idea, and like I said, the idea sounded okay. She was constantly asking if any of the ideas she had for the blog would make me uncomfortable; nothing was over the line. It only got odd when she got to what she wanted to name the blog. I can't say I was offended when she told me, mostly because she had a 3 minute broken record mini-speech beforehand saying over and over that she was afraid I would be offended or angry and that she didn't want that, crying the whole time. My reaction was just confusion. I wasn't hurt because it wasn't an attack, I wasn't angry cause it's just kinda difficult to piss me off. I was confused because I knew she wasn't losing anyone. So I explained it to her. "I'm not dying. I'm not going anywhere. You're only going to lose [birthname] in name."

She inserted at each point in that sentence. "I know, I know, I know." And went on to explain that she didn't know how to describe it. She said stuff like "I'm losing [birthname] because for 20 years you've been a guy and now all of that doesn't matter anymore because you're going to be [chosen name]." I had to keep telling her that nothing is being lost, the present and the future are just changing. She was pretty hysterical so at that point the train of logic couldn't continue.

Basically, there was no passive aggression/guilt trip/avoidance. It was very civil.

[QUOTE=Turnips5;49967280]that's not just a dumb idea of your mother's, it's flat-out narcissistic indulgence. she may love you dearly and you may love her back but she needs to understand that she isn't "losing" anyone, holy fuck, you're not going anywhere and are basically [B]just trying to become a happier version of your current self[/B][/QUOTE]

I keep forgetting to say these things asdf.

[Miya]

might seem like a bad time, but i want to plug the CD/TG Discord again. its basically a fun little chatroom that needs more people.

The Discord requires no account signup and you don't even need to download a client. you can just pop in and talk.

got a funny chatbot now that does 8ball tricks and stuff. you can see it's command list at:
[url]https://github.com/Kwoth/NadekoBot/blob/master/commandlist.md[/url]

[url]https://discord.gg/0VUSjm6wsqk9HKFI[/url]

if you can find a better discordbot, let me know!

[Candy Bee]

[QUOTE=Wii60;49972278]might seem like a bad time, but i want to plug the CD/TG Discord again. its basically a fun little chatroom that needs more people.

The Discord requires no account signup and you don't even need to download a client. you can just pop in and talk.

got a funny chatbot now that does 8ball tricks and stuff. you can see it's command list at:
[url]https://github.com/Kwoth/NadekoBot/blob/master/commandlist.md[/url]

[url]https://discord.gg/0VUSjm6wsqoPT4Co[/url]

if you can find a better discordbot, let me know![/QUOTE]
also there's a skype chat room that's more active, just pm me for getting added

to be honest, though, I'd rather we moved to discord because it has less overhead and people can voice chat if they so choose without having to call literally everyone

[Miya]

discord also added friends lists recently and will soon add video chat and stuff
so bascially skype soon has no purpose since discord does better features and takes up less CPU/ram. discord also has encryption and anti-ddos measures.

[media]https://twitter.com/discordapp/status/710902645267890176[/media]

[fear me]

I'll check out the discord chat when I get home tomorrow :cat:

[Xonax]

Seeing Tony Attwood tomorrow for some extra advice.
Then in a fortnight my Psychiatrist, we will be talking about the next stage of transitioning then.

[NeverGoWest]

Do you people ever get stricken by sudden feelings of emptiness and existential stuff? I do, its fucking horrible how self deriding the mind can be.

[Reagy]

[QUOTE=Backsalot;49950520]So you know that feeling when you phone up the clinic to ask when your appointment is, only to be told it was in November and that they sent out 2 letters, and because I didn't respond so they removed me from the waiting list.

The kicker? They sent them to the wrong address because the secretary working there never updated my home address even after I gave them my new address in July.
I've had to give them my address 3 times over the phone so far.[/QUOTE]

Know what else is a kicker? Its been over a year and they've still not contacted me about an appointment. Once this college year is over I'm going to bitch at my GP something awful.

[Backsalot]

[QUOTE=Reagy;49977464]Know what else is a kicker? Its been over a year and they've still not contacted me about an appointment. Once this college year is over I'm going to bitch at my GP something awful.[/QUOTE]
I've been waiting for two years just to have my first appointment there, and just for them to tell me "lol sorry"
I was fucking furious, and now there's a chance I can't go back onto the waiting list there and have to go to london and to the back of the waiting list there.

[fog]

[QUOTE=Wii60;49972278]might seem like a bad time, but i want to plug the CD/TG Discord again. its basically a fun little chatroom that needs more people.

The Discord requires no account signup and you don't even need to download a client. you can just pop in and talk.

got a funny chatbot now that does 8ball tricks and stuff. you can see it's command list at:
[url]https://github.com/Kwoth/NadekoBot/blob/master/commandlist.md[/url]

[url]https://discord.gg/0VUSjm6wsqoPT4Co[/url]

if you can find a better discordbot, let me know![/QUOTE]

says the discord link has expired

[MissingGlitch]

[QUOTE=KillRay;49981197]says the discord link has expired[/QUOTE]

Try this: [url]https://discord.gg/0VUSjm6wsql8WBZk[/url]

Everyone join. It's a bit lonely.

[Miya]

[QUOTE=KillRay;49981197]says the discord link has expired[/QUOTE]

[url]https://discord.gg/0VUSjm6wsqk9HKFI[/url]

this link never dies

[Xonax]

[QUOTE=Xonax;49975390]Seeing Tony Attwood tomorrow for some extra advice.
Then in a fortnight my Psychiatrist, we will be talking about the next stage of transitioning then.[/QUOTE]

Nothing Major happened, he will be supporting me and if any doctors have trouble understanding the difference between my Autism and Gender Disorder, he can clear it up for them, and if he doesn't understand something related to Gender Disorder then a Lady he referred us to can help out and clear it up.

Besides that, he told my Mom and will be sending a letter to my Psychiatrist, not to expect me to be extremely feminine in my clothes and what not, I will just wear the same clothes I already wear (as in style.....not even really a style tbh)

[shxwxrs]

First meetup with my therapist tomorrow aaaaaa

things be HAPPENING NOW.

[editline]s[/editline]

also first time trying to wash my mound of clothes in like a month and the drier breaks on me 2 minutes into drying :I

[shxwxrs]

[QUOTE=The golden;49994679]Awww, congrats. I hope they can help you .[/QUOTE]

Two more therapy sessions and I'll be on HRT in two months! :cat: