Crossdressing & Transgender & A̲L̲L̲I̲E̲S̲ Discussion v. Thread Reassignment Surgery - General

[QUOTE=Levithan;51287429]I swear there are SO MANY really creepy cis people in the word[/QUOTE] people are creepy. most are good at covering it up.

[QUOTE=slayer20;51288582]Imagine having sex with a transgendered person, only to make them feel like the person they've always wanted to be, and then post about it online. Yeah I'd be pretty upset myself if someone had sex with me and made me feel like a lady and then told others about it on an internet forum.[/QUOTE] I really really wish we didnt put "allies" in the title, I don't mind cis people and/or non-cders coming into ask questions and things but creepy cis dudes acting like a bastion of humanity for having sex with a transwoman and treating her like an actual woman (which she is) is 100% not acceptable [editline]1st November 2016[/editline] treating trans people like people does not make you an ally

[QUOTE=Judas;51289460]I really really wish we didnt put "allies" in the title, I don't mind cis people and/or non-cders coming into ask questions and things but creepy cis dudes acting like a bastion of humanity for having sex with a transwoman and treating her like an actual woman (which she is) is 100% not acceptable [editline]1st November 2016[/editline] treating trans people like people does not make you an ally[/QUOTE] I come in here or lurk here often and I do not why. I feel comfortable hanging around. Maybe I am secretly trans and am consciously unaware of it? In either case, Im not here to make advertisements of my relationships or pursue one. I am old fashioned. Which is keep it quiet and private.

[QUOTE=Judas;51289460] [B]treating trans people like people does not make you an ally[/B][/QUOTE] [img]http://i.imgur.com/ySDx2Zo.png[/img]

So. Uh. Whats going on?

[QUOTE=Judas;51289460]treating trans people like people does not make you an ally[/QUOTE] ok, so, what does then

I'm going to cut this off before it gets out of hand. There are two major sides to this: Those that believe "treating you like a person" implies respecting your gender identity. To these people, that statement makes no sense. Others believe that "treating you like a person" does not imply respecting your gender identity, and therefore you can be treated like a person while still being misgendered or otherwise having your gender identity ignored. To this portion of people, the statement makes perfect sense. Irrespective of either side, the original comment that started this whole thing is entirely out of place.

[QUOTE=Judas;51289460]I really really wish we didnt put "allies" in the title, I don't mind cis people and/or non-cders coming into ask questions and things but creepy cis dudes acting like a bastion of humanity for having sex with a transwoman and treating her like an actual woman (which she is) is 100% not acceptable [editline]1st November 2016[/editline] treating trans people like people does not make you an ally[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Judas;48460420]I hate how this thread allows crossdressers Crossdressing is a goddamn fashion and does not belong in a trans space [/QUOTE] why not just make a thread no one is allowed in at this point

I have this really great idea! We should segregate ourselves from everyone else! Because yeah, that's really healthy thinking. Welcome to the world, either people accept you or they don't and everyone says something different. You can try to put yourself in a place where you don't have to hear that, but it just makes you fragile. The person is accepting of trans women and feels glad they made a connection and made that person feel wonderful. You obviously seem to dislike this because it's either sexual or comes across as boasting. The poster is a little elated, can you blame them? They had a wonderful time and want to share their experience. Why do you want to shun that?

[QUOTE=residntevl;51290103]I have this really great idea! We should segregate ourselves from everyone else![/QUOTE] we need to build a wall, and make the allies pay for it

[QUOTE=biodude94566;51289974]I'm going to cut this off before it gets out of hand. There are two major sides to this: Those that believe "treating you like a person" implies respecting your gender identity. To these people, that statement makes no sense. Others believe that "treating you like a person" does not imply respecting your gender identity, and therefore you can be treated like a person while still being misgendered or otherwise having your gender identity ignored. To this portion of people, the statement makes perfect sense. Irrespective of either side, the original comment that started this whole thing is entirely out of place.[/QUOTE] There's also "treat you like a woman like any other", and in that context, it can be seen a bit differently. [editline]31st October 2016[/editline] Not being a dick doesn't make you an ally.

[QUOTE=Clovis;51290046]i dont want to contradict my own words here but shit like this is why we dont have allies in the real world. virtually all LGBT communities just cant help but create drama out of nothing. im not even sure why im commenting on the fact because its not gonna change anything, i just thought id point it out ignorance IS bliss you know. you dont have to take a comment about sex with a transwoman like its dehumanizing you[/QUOTE] ugh fucking trans people always being hissy about being objectified and treated like sex objects that should thank cis people for giving them the [i]honor[/i] of a cis person wanting to bone them

Isn't it good that he is now open to dating Transgender people? I am sure there are a lot of people that don't want to date Transgender people.

[QUOTE=Judas;51290165]ugh fucking trans people always being hissy about being objectified and treated like sex objects that should thank cis people for giving them the [i]honor[/i] of a cis person wanting to bone them[/QUOTE] let me just say that people like you and your hostile attitude are the reason a lot of people have a hard time coming to this thread for support you have the awesome power of starting drama out of fucking NOTHING [editline]1st November 2016[/editline] it's really fucking toxic and it's something ive seen a lot lately in the lgbt community as a whole

I'm just going through the last page and seriously, [B]what?[/B] [quote]treating trans people like people does not make you an ally[/quote] This is like, borderline delusional.

So on a positive note, I've got my first appointment with my endo on Thursday, and I've told my girlfriend that I plan on going out presenting female at Orlando Pride later this month. Things are happening finally. :saxout:

[B][I]hey what's up y'all, having a good time, oh sweet, so let's get gay as hell up in here[/I][/B] so I'm gonna tell a story how I went to a [I]really[/I] gay concert the other week There's this band called PWR BTTM, and they're basically two AMAB non-binaries who makes songs about being gay and it was actually a real cool experience, here's the lead singer: [t]http://imgur.com/N5aDX5k.jpg[/t] And it was really cool, and basically everyone around there looked cute and gay, make up and glitter everywhere, it was grand <3 Semi-related (because my outfit to that concert was p similar, just purple instead of red), I had a bit of a "get you a boy who can do both" day and I kind of liked how it all came out. [t]https://i.redd.it/0deothl5curx.jpg[/t]

[QUOTE=Xonax;51290286]Isn't it good that he is now open to dating Transgender people? I am sure there are a lot of people that don't want to date Transgender people.[/QUOTE] People need to stop taking things that might be poorly worded but are clearly intended to show support so badly. It's no wonder the subject ends up so divided when people react that way to every little thing. [QUOTE=Limed00d;51290303]let me just say that people like you and your hostile attitude are the reason a lot of people have a hard time coming to this thread for support[/QUOTE] A lot of people that I speak to that used to frequent the thread stopped coming here for those reasons. And the few that do don't post anywhere near as much as they used to. I only read the thread out of habit myself anymore because it's really just become total garbage.

[QUOTE=Judas;51289460] treating trans people like people does not make you an ally[/QUOTE] Dumb shit like this is why trans people aren't taken seriously IRL. Like fucking hell this attitude is exactly why I'll never come out. Retarded comments like that have ruined the image for trans people for a long time. In fact, this entire fucking thread is a goddamn cesspool. I don't want to come here, because I know I won't actually get help. This thread and discord and members are quicker to talk socks and sex rather than help someone out who actually needs it. For fucks sake take 5 seconds to look at this mess and then ask yourself "well gee golly howdy how come my life sucks? Maybe because [I]nobody fucking listens to shit that comes out of my mouth now"[/I]. Like goddamn. If this thread was locked and not allowed to be made again, the trans community on FP might actually be taken seriously for once. And before anyone gets up in my shit, I am trans. I am you. I am struggling and I do want things to get better. But this thread will do anything but make things better. This is arguably one of the worst threads on Facepunch, and has only been an area for drama and hatred to commence between [I]its own users[/I]. Want to be treated nicely in the real world? Treat other people nicely first. Acting like you're the oppressed party when [I]another trans person[/I] disagrees with you is so disingenuous it's hilarious. I am so fucking sick of this thread and this shitty-ass community staying on FP, simply making a worse name for trans people than we already have. Ever put that through your head? Ever wonder why we're remaining a minority? Because you'd rather talk socks and drama than actually go out and try to make a difference, or at the very least sit someone down and talk over their options. Straighten up, fuckin' A. [editline]1st November 2016[/editline] Why this thread is still allowed even with all the drama is beyond me.

Well... on a slightly more positive note, I stealth came out to a handful of friends last night. My "last minute" costume had quite the reception when I showed up. A few of them were quick to point out that I'd probably done this before, so I explained my situation a bit. Ultimately I feel a lot lighter now that my deepest secrets are suddenly out there in the open. I'm still a long way from going full time, or even starting HRT, but I feel like I've successfully acclimatized my friends to the idea of me being more feminine in my daily life without having to hide it like I'm covering up a dead body. [t]http://i.imgur.com/hD3O9Bo.jpg[/t][t]http://i.imgur.com/744SMVV.jpg[/t]

Kinda sad the only time this thread becomes active is when people are yelling at each other.

[QUOTE=Zillamaster55;51293061]In fact, this entire fucking thread is a goddamn cesspool.[/quote] I don't know if you've noticed but that's how this thread has operated since the day it was opened. Nothing has changed because no one ever actually puts any effort into MAKING any change. Thread goes normally for a while. Someone says something stupid, a troll comes in, or someone gets their knickers in a bunch over some harmless statement. Drama ensues, and then people start complaining about the drama. Usually the complaining lasts longer than the drama itself and makes this big ol' feedback loop. And then everyone decides they're done with the thread and it dies for a month. Slowly but surely people start posting again and things go back to normal for a few more months. It's bound to happen. Almost everyone here is dysphoric, half of them are hormonal and going through a second puberty, a large number are depressed. It's like high school all over again. It's going to happen, unfortunately. The most we can do is actually ignore people trying to actively cause drama or to minimize it once it starts and not make a self-perpetuating feedback loop of "LOOK AT ALL THIS DRAMA IT'S SO DUMB I'M NOT COMING HERE". And guess what? We're [i]both[/i] perpetuating it right now. [quote]I don't want to come here, because I know I won't actually get help.[/quote] I won't go into my reasoning as for why you specifically won't get help, but as far back as I can remember, [i]most[/i] people get the help they need here. It's not always in the thread because we typically have some sort of third party chat going and if the person asking for help is there, we will typically help them out in the chat. Just because it goes unanswered in the thread doesn't mean they don't get help. Now I will give you that it looks like that, but I don't know of anyone who has been actively ignored and unable to get ANY help. [quote]This thread and [b]discord[/b] and members are quicker to talk socks and sex rather than help someone out who actually needs it.[/quote] Where did you get this? The discord has channels [i]specifically[/i] to ask for help that we moderate pretty heavily to try and ensure that they remain safe spaces. People are more than free to ask for help about anything at any time. Socks and sex get talked about, sure, but in their own respective channels. More often than not we're all talking about games in the gaming channel. We have issues, sure. There has been a huge explosion in drama over the past couple of months that's been slowly burning. We finally got down to the bottom of all of it and have done our best to take care of absolutely everything that has gone on. We can't make what happened disappear, but we can ask for forgiveness, fix the problems, and move forward. There is more than likely a tainted reputation now, but we're doing our best to try and fix it. And we can't fix it if no one brings up what's wrong. All of that being said, the discord [b]is[/b] going pretty strong. We've currently made it private because we had a string of people joining, only to leave within 15 minutes, and a couple of people solely seeking relationships or making sexual advances. Feel free to message me [url=https://facepunch.com/member.php?u=67414]here on Facepunch[/url], on Discord (Candy Bee#1930), or on [url=http://steamcommunity.com/id/biodude94566]Steam[/url], or either [url=https://facepunch.com/member.php?u=93651]Wii60/Miya[/url] or [url=https://facepunch.com/member.php?u=511504]MissingGlitch/Emily[/url] for an invite link.

I read some where if being trans can make it difficult to find housing. Is it just straight up bigotry or a financial reason behind it? Cause I dont have these natural intolerances the common person tends to have. To me this is an opportunity to help fellow humans and generate an income stream (aka landlord). If its straight up bigotry, then I can serve a niche market. If there a financial incentive, I am sure I can bend the system to make it more acceptable.

[QUOTE=dennistrane;51282464]Just had for first sexual experience with a transwoman. I must say it was more pleasant than having sex with a ciswomen. Glad I was able to make her feel like the women she is. I'm defiantly open to dating transwomen.[/QUOTE] Hey man, that's awesome. I know you're probably not super experienced with the whole thing, but often a lot of transppl don't like to be treated in a "same but different" kind of way, most like to just be treated like women! You probably weren't meaning to, but if you continue dating her (or any other) transwoman, it might be best to phrase it differently or just explain that you're not meaning to be rude. It's super cool that you're open to the whole thing though! good luck!

[QUOTE=Guriosity;51295133]I read some where if being trans can make it difficult to find housing. Is it just straight up bigotry or a financial reason behind it? Cause I dont have these natural intolerances the common person tends to have. To me this is an opportunity to help fellow humans and generate an income stream (aka landlord). If its straight up bigotry, tend I can serve a niche market. If there a financial incentive, I am sure I can bend the system to make it more acceptable.[/QUOTE] it's pretty much just straight up bigotry

[QUOTE=Guriosity;51295133]I read some where if being trans can make it difficult to find housing. Is it just straight up bigotry or a financial reason behind it? Cause I dont have these natural intolerances the common person tends to have. To me this is an opportunity to help fellow humans and generate an income stream (aka landlord). If its straight up bigotry, tend I can serve a niche market. If there a financial incentive, I am sure I can bend the system to make it more acceptable.[/QUOTE] Both. I don't know the exact statistics, but there's a lot of trans people living in poverty. One site quotes it as "4 times more likely" but that's literally just a headline I found on Google so take it with a grain of salt.

Oi. Anyone in here from Finland know what age you need to be to transition? Couldn't find any info online since I can't read Finnish and I need to know for reasons.

[QUOTE=Amakir;51296911]Oi. Anyone in here from Finland know what age you need to be to transition? Couldn't find any info online since I can't read Finnish and I need to know for reasons.[/QUOTE] presumably you'd have to be over 18 since y'know there's that whole issue of parental permission for under 18s at least one would think so

[QUOTE=ECrownofFire;51296573]Both. I don't know the exact statistics, but there's a lot of trans people living in poverty. One site quotes it as "4 times more likely" but that's literally just a headline I found on Google so take it with a grain of salt.[/QUOTE] If it just stupidity, then all I can say about me I care more about self gain versus such prejudices. I dont understand why people dont see it like I do. What does it matter who you are as long you pay me on time and don't cause trouble? I will admit I didnt know about this issue concerning trans. If I were in a better position, I would be happy to create a business catering to the needs of the marginalized.

[QUOTE=The golden;51296614]Several transmen that I know of were kicked out of their homes by intolerant parents. I think one is doing a bit better these days but both are well below the poverty line and are struggling to get by.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I was kicked out too (for being gay though, before I accepted being trans, but I know I'd've been kicked out near instantly for this rather than it "building up"). Definitely below the poverty line at a whopping $0 of income right now. It's not a great life. [editline]3rd November 2016[/editline] I really need a job :(