Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[MindMuncher]

Also a motivational ted talk might be the best start to anyone's day, haha

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Gatsby;42104311]I don't know what I wanna do once I'm out of school. No idea at all. I don't want to be some 9-5 cubicle clown that's for sure, maybe I want to help people. Like lots and lots of people. Not that soup kitchen volunteer bullshit either. I want to give the homeless the fishing rod, not just the fish.

I wanna do some huge impact in the world. I don't want to be on my death bed and look back into my memories and see myself being the average consumer, spenting my whole life making others richer so I can buy some materialistic things to keep me distracted on the fact that my life is wasting away.

I don't want that. I want to be somebody.[/QUOTE]

whether or not you want to help people, unless you're EXTREMELY gifted at science and math, you're probably not going to do anything that's significant and most jobs that do feel meaningful aren't going to pay that well.
and i should probably mention that helping people is a thankless job.
just wanting to help people won't get you anywhere. instead of daydreaming, find a way to be helpful. you're not going to change the world, if you really want to make a difference help individuals one at a time.

[blacksam]

Hey guys, just wanted to say this thread is awesome and all the advice I was given 6 months ago when I broke up with my girlfriend of two years really helped. Also the advice you guys give for college, love, stress, character, and other important things is excellent and if I could I'd slap fives with all of you.

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=blacksam;42112475]Hey guys, just wanted to say this thread is awesome and all the advice I was given 6 months ago when I broke up with my girlfriend of two years really helped. Also the advice you guys give for college, love, stress, character, and other important things is excellent and if I could I'd slap fives with all of you.[/QUOTE]

It's really good to hear that you are happier. High five to you!

[AltUser]

Things are really shit for me right now, but I'm still trying to be positive.
Me and my ex broke up 3-4 weeks ago, and it ended really sour, and ended up her basically talking a load of shit about me to everyone, and about how she got me arrested and stuff. The result of that is that I've pretty much lost my friends, there was a party that they all went to the other night, but I wasn't invited because of my ex.
I haven't spoken to a single person, except for family in four days, and that was a one-off conversation, so I pretty much don't talk to anyone, and I really only go out and socialise on the weekends, if I'm lucky. Plus, all these friends of mine are going to university soon, so I'll be left completely alone around here. And shit, it can get really lonely at times, not going out, not talking to anyone. When I used to talk to my girlfriend every day, and now this.
Plus, I have no job. I'm really trying hard to get one now, but there is so little out there.
I've also got depression, and have had it for a while now (on and off for two years), and I'm really trying to fight it, and on the plus-side, it is starting to get a bit better.

The only thing that's keeping me going is thinking that all this is temporary, and in the future I'll meet someone new, who will just be so great, and I'll get a job, and I'll eventually find happiness. But the thing is, I can't see a logical path between here and there. I will get a job eventually, but how will I stop being so lonely, and meet some new friends, and possibly a partner? Maybe I shouldn't really question it, maybe it will just all fall into place, but it would just be nice if I knew how to make it all happen.
As you can see, this wasn't really a question, it was more of me kind of asking for support, although that sounds needy. Thanks anyway.

[editline]8th September 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=Splash Attack;42103853]I found this TED talk. It gives really good and inspirational advice on how to be more confident and socially powerful, so I decided to share it with you guyus.

[video=youtube;Ks-_Mh1QhMc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc[/video][/QUOTE]

Thanks for that, it was really interesting.

[zukriuchen]

[QUOTE=Splash Attack;42103853]I found this TED talk. It gives really good and inspirational advice on how to be more confident and socially powerful, so I decided to share it with you guyus.

[video=youtube;Ks-_Mh1QhMc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc[/video][/QUOTE]

i am now going to walk around in your avatar's pose
always

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=blacksam;42112475]Hey guys, just wanted to say this thread is awesome and all the advice I was given 6 months ago when I broke up with my girlfriend of two years really helped. Also the advice you guys give for college, love, stress, character, and other important things is excellent and if I could I'd slap fives with all of you.[/QUOTE]

[img]http://www.zingerbug.com/Comments/glitter_graphics/thank_you_beary_much_blue_teddy_bear.gif[/img]

[Heigou]

Hey guys, I don't really do much else other than lurk this thread and when I don't it's to post shit that might or might not be funny but I have a quick question.

I won't go into details but how do you properly burn a bridge?

[PollytheParrot]

Well its hard without going into details because burning bridges is almost always personal.

With that said, never burn bridges. It will [B][U]always[/U][/B] come back to bite you in the ass. Not only that but in the way you'll least expect it, and thats when it will hurt you the most.

[Heigou]

Oh yeah, expecting some serious third-degree burn there, was just wondering how to go about it. It's not about anything having to do with my professional life, just something in my personal life that's been fucking with me for the past 5 years.

[Big Dumb Patriot]

[QUOTE=Splash Attack;42103853]I found this TED talk. It gives really good and inspirational advice on how to be more confident and socially powerful, so I decided to share it with you guyus.

[video=youtube;Ks-_Mh1QhMc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc[/video][/QUOTE]

Wow, thanks a lot. Now I'm back into watching TED Talks! I prolly packed away four or five hours of these today. TED is so damn cool.

[OscarLimaEcho]

[QUOTE=PollytheParrot;42116288]Well its hard without going into details because burning bridges is almost always personal.

With that said, never burn bridges. It will [B][U]always[/U][/B] come back to bite you in the ass. Not only that but in the way you'll least expect it, and thats when it will hurt you the most.[/QUOTE]

If it's a fucking ex that wont leave you alone, you burn the bridge and half the continent.

Cutting off contact with someone who's making you miserable isn't going to bite you in the ass.

[Big D Duchovny]

Woo, gonna watch Blade Runner at my place next Friday with a girl I'm interested in. I helped with a Danish assignment by sending one I made a few months back, containing the end quote from Roy Batty - she noticed and asked whether I had it on DVD. I'm really happy right now. Haven't had much luck since with ex 1.5 years back.

[jobizzle]

What's the point of a girlfriend? Should I get a girlfriend?

Is there something wrong with me if I don't care for having one?

#REALTALK

[.Lain]

you'll see the point in having a girlfriend when you find someone you know you're really going to like. you'll want to be with them, end of. there's nothing wrong with not having one and there are a multitude of valid reasons for not being in a relationship, so don't be so worried about it

[zenby]

The feeling of getting to know someone better than who they seem to be on the surface, and then realizing that they're different even from that is weird

I'm trying to expand into new social circles but having to learn a new mindset/understanding of how life works is difficult

[AltUser]

Guys, will I ever find a love better than my first?
I have been feeling pretty shitty for a while, and I've been missing the hell out of my ex. Like everything was so great with her (except the mildly frequent arguments), she was my first and so far only love, and what can I say, I never wanted to lose her, I had some most of the best memories of my life with her.

So I thought I was being stupid, so I Googled "Will I ever find a love like my first" and I was really surprised about all the negativity that you may never find someone who is as good. I mean I think that I probably won't experience certain things with my next love, like the whole uhm, I'm not sure... The surprise of it all, like I will kind of know what's coming. But really, will I ever find someone as special and will I have something as special ever again? I kind of need reassurance with it.

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=AltUser;42123743]Guys, will I ever find a love better than my first?
I have been feeling pretty shitty for a while, and I've been missing the hell out of my ex. Like everything was so great with her (except the mildly frequent arguments), she was my first and so far only love, and what can I say, I never wanted to lose her, I had some most of the best memories of my life with her.

So I thought I was being stupid, so I Googled "Will I ever find a love like my first" and I was really surprised about all the negativity that you may never find someone who is as good. I mean I think that I probably won't experience certain things with my next love, like the whole uhm, I'm not sure... The surprise of it all, like I will kind of know what's coming. But really, will I ever find someone as special and will I have something as special ever again? I kind of need reassurance with it.[/QUOTE]

Yep, you will. Way better.

[AltUser]

[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42124106]Yep, you will. Way better.[/QUOTE]

Thank you man. I've come to realise that all that's going on in my life with the loneliness, my friends drifting away from me because of her, and everything else is just temporary. I've grown up enough to learn that I have to sort out all my problems and be happy with myself before I can be happy with someone else.
I really hope you're right. I know the excitement of a first relationship might not be there, and its a little bit scary that I may not find someone who I'm happier with, but I've just got to ride with it.
Can anyone else weigh in and maybe share their knowledge on this subject?

[Agoat]

[QUOTE=AltUser;42124412]Thank you man. I've come to realise that all that's going on in my life with the loneliness, my friends drifting away from me because of her, and everything else is just temporary. I've grown up enough to learn that I have to sort out all my problems and be happy with myself before I can be happy with someone else.
I really hope you're right. I know the excitement of a first relationship might not be there, and its a little bit scary that I may not find someone who I'm happier with, but I've just got to ride with it.
Can anyone else weigh in and maybe share their knowledge on this subject?[/QUOTE]

Getting over your first breakup is hard. It took forever to get over mine, but you just have to keep moving forward. You've heard all the soppy stuff before, so I'll skip to the real stuff:
Meet people. Make tons of friends and do what you want to do. You don't need an "other half" when you're already complete, you know? If your current friends are drifting away in your time of need, make some new ones. Your next relationship will probably be better, and if it isn't... you won't even worry about it. From now on you're pretty much prepped for the worst.

[AltUser]

[QUOTE=Agoat;42124973]Getting over your first breakup is hard. It took forever to get over mine, but you just have to keep moving forward. You've heard all the soppy stuff before, so I'll skip to the real stuff:
Meet people. Make tons of friends and do what you want to do. You don't need an "other half" when you're already complete, you know? If your current friends are drifting away in your time of need, make some new ones. Your next relationship will probably be better, and if it isn't... you won't even worry about it. From now on you're pretty much prepped for the worst.[/QUOTE]

Thank you for this. I know I need to get myself together first, I'm still trying to get through my own problems, but I'm doing well. I just need to find a job and new friends (although I have no clue where to find any). I guess if I look positively, I'm more prepared for a relationship this time around. It's just the whole I can't picture myself loving someone as much as I did with her. But I have nothing to compare it to, it could have been the best love I will ever experience, or the worst, it worries me a bit.

The only way I can describe it is I'm not sure if the "magic" will still be there, like it might be a case of been there, done that. Just with another woman, do you know what I mean?

[Agoat]

[QUOTE=AltUser;42125039]Thank you for this. I know I need to get myself together first, I'm still trying to get through my own problems, but I'm doing well. I just need to find a job and new friends (although I have no clue where to find any). I guess if I look positively, I'm more prepared for a relationship this time around. It's just the whole I can't picture myself loving someone as much as I did with her. But I have nothing to compare it to, it could have been the best love I will ever experience, or the worst, it worries me a bit.[/QUOTE]
You'll make friends through work. There isn't much to get together unless you're Rayman or something, it's really just accepting that you're going to find a much better girlfriend than your first. It's like the first time you play baseball. You hit the ball and it's pretty good, but your first hit will never be your best.

[Nikeos]

can i ask how old you are altuser?

think of it like a learning experience, like you said, you're more prepared for a relationship your next time around. you'll probably never meet anyone like your ex and you'll never have the same kind of relationship you did with her. and that's a good thing, she's your ex for a reason, you know?

[AltUser]

Yeah, I guess I just have to let things fall into place. And by getting myself together, I meant that I've had clinical depression on and off for two years, and it hit me hard the past few months. But right now I feel like I'm getting to the end of it, and everything is starting to feel better. I feel the last two years have been both amazing and absolutely dreadful. But I have learned more in those two years than I ever have. And right now I just feel like I know myself much better and I'm a better person in the end of it, even if my life is shitty right now. I just want to make sure I'm 100% back to my normal self, and completely over my ex before I get into another relationship (I used to want to just rebound)

As to Nikeos, I'm 18, almost 19. And yeah, I am prepared now. And you know what, things will be better the second time around.

Thank you to the three people who replied to me tonight when no one else was there for me, I really needed it, and I do truly appreciate it.

[Kingy_who]

My friend's girlfriend went walkabouts for a day or so and he got really upset. Let's call this friend Phil and the girlfriend Hannah. Now some guy I know (a friend's boyfriend) Aiden started commenting on Phil's status saying that she probably needed some time alone and Phil is a dick for being pissed off.
So then my close friend Calum starts saying that Aiden doesn't know the situation and Phil is justified for being angry, now Calum doesn't know the situation , so this leads to a massive argument where I agree with Aiden's view, but Aiden is a massive arsehole so he calls everyone names who disagrees with him and acts like a massive man child.

And they say drama ends when you leave secondary school.

[Agoat]

[QUOTE=AltUser;42125254]Thank you to the three people who replied to me tonight when no one else was there for me, I really needed it, and I do truly appreciate it.[/QUOTE]
Pay it forward, helping others helps you more than you know. :)

[MindMuncher]

People should never say "let's call him [insert fake name]" when they explain things.
It really interrupts the flow of the thing and confuses people. It's not as bad as having single letters stand as a name, or 'Girl-A' stuff, but it's still bad.

Just make up a name and call them that without informing us. It won't make a lick of a difference to the readers if they don't know the people's real name, unless the spelling or pronunciation has specific relevance to the story.

Say my best friend's name is Bob and he's dating Sue, who has a crush on Tom.

'My best friend's name is Zach and he's dating Charlotte, who has a crush on Maxwell. Should I intervene?'

It's the same question and will receive the same answer, but you didn't have to type:

'We'll call my best friend Zach, and his girlfriend Charlotte. Charlotte has a crush on this guy we'll call Maxwell. Should I tell Zach about Maxwell?'
It's just worse.

[Gatsby]

Is there a good website to meet women nearby thats down for causal sex? None of that dating bullshit either.

It's been a while ya know...

[thisispain]

yeah you're looking for grindr its an excellent programme get it

[killerteacup]

grindr should be right up your back alley know what im sayin