Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
its been 2 months since I got dumped now
apparently shes going to my housemates birthday party and staying there overnight which I didn't expect
sorta means I can't go, yay - or at least the very idea of me going makes me panic and freak out
have completely hit rock bottom and I tried to see a counsellor yesterday but its the free uni counselling and its a weird system that meant they basically turned me away without even letting me make a booking
how the hell do I fix myself omg
[QUOTE=killerteacup;42238656]its been 2 months since I got dumped now
apparently shes going to my housemates birthday party and staying there overnight which I didn't expect
sorta means I can't go, yay - or at least the very idea of me going makes me panic and freak out
have completely hit rock bottom and I tried to see a counsellor yesterday but its the free uni counselling and its a weird system that meant they basically turned me away without even letting me make a booking
how the hell do I fix myself omg[/QUOTE]
I think it's really good that you are going to therapy, hopefully it will help.
(If you ever need some help, shoot me a message on steam.)
For the past couple of weeks and maybe a month I've felt like I have been over my ex and now all of a sudden today I feel really bad about it, what's up with that?
[QUOTE=Leader of Me;42241949]For the past couple of weeks and maybe a month I've felt like I have been over my ex and now all of a sudden today I feel really bad about it, what's up with that?[/QUOTE]
It happens. Just when you think you're fine and ready to move on, it seems like there's always something to come back and slap you in the face to remind you that you're still not over it.
[I][very happy vent][/I]
Woo I asked her and it felt fucking awesome, she said "unfortunately no, I've got to go home and wash"
I'll just believe her, wether I wanted her to sound genuine or not, she did say it right away after I asked instead of having to think for longer than half of half a second.
I did a stupid though and forgot to suggest a different day though to see her reaction to that, we were on the bus (relatively empty, I don't think the amount of people on it had anything to do with it)
But either way I fucking asked someone for the first time in my life and I'm proud of myself :v:
[I][/very happy vent][/I] :dance:
"I've got to go home and wash" eugh
What a lame reason.
Good for you for asking though!
Shit, things are awesome right now, even though me and my ex broke up only maybe a month ago and it killed me especially when a friend made me realize I was just used as an emotional thing to make her feel better and a sex toy. Well I was just really happy last week and this week and that helped because I've been talking to this girl in my classes who I like and I think likes me.
I don't know I'm just really happy and it's nice to feel like this again.
Also she said something that I never thought anyone would say, she actually loves the cold and winter....everyone told me I was crazy for loving the cold and winter and then boom, either she is awesome or secretly a metal head on the inside. :v:
[QUOTE=VaSTinY;42242891]I did a stupid though and forgot to suggest a different day[/QUOTE]
It tends to be best not to. If she's interested, she'll suggest a different day.
Well the club thing sucked. Hardly anyone showed up, I didn't make any friends and thete were no girls I really wanted to get to know. Looks like I'm back to being the awkward creepy guy with no friends that evert girl hates talking to.
[QUOTE=Flapadar;42244575]It tends to be best not to. If she's interested, she'll suggest a different day.[/QUOTE]
Don't let that get you down though, because all girls are different and there's no such thing as "manual to understand how girls think"
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42245277]Well the club thing sucked. Hardly anyone showed up, I didn't make any friends and thete were no girls I really wanted to get to know. Looks like I'm back to being the awkward creepy guy with no friends that evert girl hates talking to.[/QUOTE]
what sort of club was it
anime club
i was going to guess that
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42248888]what sort of club was it[/QUOTE]
brony one
bought into the whole love and tolerate bullshit
All of you are wrong. I joined the history club because I'm a history major and thought it would be a good way to meet people in my major.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42245277]Well the club thing sucked. Hardly anyone showed up, I didn't make any friends and thete were no girls I really wanted to get to know. Looks like I'm back to being the awkward creepy guy with no friends that evert girl hates talking to.[/QUOTE]
lol jesus christ calm your shit
so you went to one thing and it wasn't great newsflash club events at uni are often like that I joined music society expecting a bunch of people really passionate about music instead they all just loved that one song l.o.v.e by nat king cole and didn't want anyone in their inner music circle and are now complaining that their club is dying hello music society maybe if you wanted more people to join you should make newcomers feel more welcome
in other news you just went from "there were no girls I wanted to get to know" to "every girl hates talking to me" which is a really stupid chain of thought. Why would you care if you don't want to get to know them.
and FURTHERMORE I don't know if I should feel obliged to point out that you REALLY need to stop joining up with clubs and then hounding out for girls. The reason you have such low self esteem is because you keep on expressedly trying to get girls and frankly I don't know if I'm gonna be the first to post this out loud but from what I've seen you actually just have a terrible attitude towards women and you need to work on that desperately.
I know its not the nicest thing for me to say but you really do need to work on that before any girl is willing to talk to you.
I have a terrible attitude towards women because the negative experiences I've had far outweigh the positives. If it was the other way around I'd have a much better attitude. But when I go through a cycle of awkward conversations that go nowhere or even being completely blown off in a lot of cases and nothing really happens to break the cycle, it's hard to not be positive about it.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42249502]I have a terrible attitude towards women because the negative experiences I've had far outweigh the positives. If it was the other way around I'd have a much better attitude. But when I go through a cycle of awkward conversations that go nowhere or even being completely blown off in a lot of cases and nothing really happens to break the cycle, it's hard to not be positive about it.[/QUOTE]
having positive attitudes and doing positive things is the best way to get positive things to happen
this in no way guarantees that good things will, but it significantly increases the odds
I think girls seem to dislike talking to me because it's expected for guys to lead the conversation but I have a lot of trouble doing that and run out of things to say after asking the typical where they're from and what their major is so they just pass me off as a boring guy.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42249717]I think girls seem to dislike talking to me because it's expected for guys to lead the conversation but I have a lot of trouble doing that and run out of things to say after asking the typical where they're from and what their major is so they just pass me off as a boring guy.[/QUOTE]
And then you talk about their clothes, what they like to do in their free time, how their day is going, what kind of food they like and you have a high probability of finding something in common, where you can establish a relationship off of. And then you get their number and keep in touch.
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42249559]having positive attitudes and doing positive things is the best way to get positive things to happen
this in no way guarantees that good things will, but it significantly increases the odds[/QUOTE]
This. You'll be surprised on how a positive outlook can have an affect on you're overall mood and interactions with people.
[QUOTE=PollytheParrot;42249793]And then you talk about their clothes, what they like to do in their free time, how their day is going, what kind of food they like and you have a high probability of finding something in common, where you can establish a relationship off of. And then you get their number and keep in touch.[/QUOTE]
That will probably just end in me asking too many questions and make her feel like she's being interrogated by the NSA. So is there any way I can keep a conversation going while not making it seem like an interrogation?
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42249717]I think girls seem to dislike talking to me because it's expected for guys to lead the conversation but I have a lot of trouble doing that and run out of things to say after asking the typical where they're from and what their major is so they just pass me off as a boring guy.[/QUOTE]
it's because you [I]are[/I] a boring guy
a lot of girls will lead the conversation but if you aren't interesting in the first place they won't even bother to talk about it because it wouldn't be fun to talk about it with someone boring
if you have nothing you can relate to the girl then you are looking for the wrong kinds of girls to talk to or people to talk to in general and if you don't like the people who [I]do[/I] have the same interests as you it only speaks about yourself
really just talk about things you like or ask her what she likes
chirp her or something
[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;42249861]it's because you [I]are[/I] a boring guy
a lot of girls will lead the conversation but if you aren't interesting in the first place they won't even bother to talk about it because it wouldn't be fun to talk about it with someone boring
if you have nothing you can relate to the girl then you are looking for the wrong kinds of girls to talk to or people to talk to in general and if you don't like the people who [I]do[/I] have the same interests as you it only speaks about yourself
really just talk about things you like or ask her what she likes
chirp her or something[/QUOTE]
Well seeing as it's going to be nearly impossible to find girls who have common interests with me I'm going to have to figure out how to be less boring and keep a conversation going without it turning into an interrogation.
Is it strange if I relate more to women than I do to other guys? I feel like I talk to girls quite a bit, and I feel a lot more at ease talking to them. When I talk to most guys, though, it gets a bit rigid and formal and it usually ends up in one of us excusing ourselves from the conversation. Don't get me wrong, I've had that awkward thing happen often to both genders, but it happens noticeably more often with other guys.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42249816]That will probably just end in me asking too many questions and make her feel like she's being interrogated by the NSA. So is there any way I can keep a conversation going while not making it seem like an interrogation?[/QUOTE]
Jesus fuck stop over thinking and just do it, and everytime you start doing it, scream that shit to yourself, of course, being a complete retard doesn't help either
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42249915]Well seeing as it's going to be nearly impossible to find girls who have common interests with me I'm going to have to figure out how to be less boring and keep a conversation going without it turning into an interrogation.[/QUOTE]
Instead of spending time finding girls with common interests, why not find more interests for yourself?
Agreed with OogalaBoogal. You should try new stuff to do. It's more productive than overthinking yourself to self-loathing. Try your hand at cooking, start a workout routine, read books, hell play more video games, just be more productive, expand your interests, or return to enjoying to what you enjoy. Because odds are, you're gonna come across people, not just girls, with the same interests as you and since you've been doing all that already, you won't need to think about what to talk about.
[QUOTE=Rammaster;42250048]Agreed with OogalaBoogal. You should try new stuff to do. It's more productive than overthinking yourself to self-loathing. Try your hand at cooking, start a workout routine, read books, hell play more video games, just be more productive, expand your interests, or return to enjoying to what you enjoy. Because odds are, you're gonna come across people, not just girls, with the same interests as you and since you've been doing all that already, you won't need to think about what to talk about.[/QUOTE]
Gonna disagree with you one one point
[QUOTE]hell play more video games[/QUOTE]
video games are not great at all for getting into new things, and i've found them to be pretty detrimental in my life, i try to avoid them except when unwinding with friends for a couple hours each week.
i know video games are really popular around these parts, but i've found my creative and social endeavours way more fun than a videogame ever could be.
[editline]20th September 2013[/editline]
They are fun, but just play them in moderation!
Moderation yes, but sometimes focusing too much on like "meeting girls" and all that kinda just sends you into a mood of just not doing anything. I kinda think being also "well-read" in video games as just good as being well-read in books and all that other stuff. But yes, all in moderation.
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