Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42250021]Instead of spending time finding girls with common interests, why not find more interests for yourself?[/QUOTE]
If there were other things I was interested in doing that were affordable to me, I would have already gone out and done them instead of gaming for 8+ hours a day, browsing the internet and occasionally reading a book.
Alright guys, small continuation of my last post asking for help.
This girl that I like, we have one class together, twice a week. She sat next to me the first day, and the last time we had class, we were watching the film Lincoln and at some point I said to myself "Fuck it" and asked her for her number. We have been texting pretty frequently, with me trying to plan a way for us to hang out, to which one or the other was busy with classes or clubs.
Now, I do have a twitter that my friends made me years back, and we ended up following each other. I was scrolling through my feed when she wrote something withe the title "boy from history class" linking to her tumblr. I went to it, and long story short,she wrote about how she wants to get to know me first before doing anything.
Any ideas on what we could do together that isn't a "date" and that she'd be comfortable with?
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42250089]Gonna disagree with you one one point
video games are not great at all for getting into new things, and i've found them to be pretty detrimental in my life, i try to avoid them except when unwinding with friends for a couple hours each week.
i know video games are really popular around these parts, but i've found my creative and social endeavours way more fun than a videogame ever could be.
[editline]20th September 2013[/editline]
They are fun, but just play them in moderation![/QUOTE]
by your logic you could say that reading, playing piano, and watching tv are all things you should "do in moderation" because they don't involve socializing and therefore don't contribute to your social life.
[editline]20th September 2013[/editline]
there is nothing wrong with having a hobby and it's pretty silly to arbitrarily designate hobbies as "good" or "bad". if you like games then keep playing them.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42250182]If there were other things I was interested in doing that were affordable to me, [B]I would have already gone out and done them[/B] instead of gaming for 8+ hours a day, browsing the internet and occasionally reading a book.[/QUOTE]
Honestly, I think you haven't.
There is so much shit to do at colleges and unis, i go to a medium sized university (~16k) and we have 260 ratified societies from anything to longboarding to breakdancing to game development to community radio. My girlfriend's university just created a society [I]just for cat lovers[/I]. Apparently they plan on going to the SPCA and bringing cats to chill out with. How many people? 54, in her university of ~1k.
And happens if you want to make a new cool society? Be a group of students with regular meeting about a subject, fill out form, twiddle your thumbs for two weeks and receive up to 2000$ in society funding.
There are so many options and possibilities. To say that you can't because they are not interesting to you and unaffordable is an absolute joke.
also, every person in my life that's significant to me is someone i met through a video game. i met my boyfriend in league of legends. two of the best friends i've ever had are in my guild in wow. so all the time i spent leveling a guild and recruiting for a raid core paid off, whether or not it's a "nerdy hobby". and with multiplayer games at least, just because you're not socializing in real life doesn't mean you aren't socializing.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42249717]I think girls seem to dislike talking to me because it's expected for guys to lead the conversation but I have a lot of trouble doing that and run out of things to say after asking the typical where they're from and what their major is so they just pass me off as a boring guy.[/QUOTE]
yeah sorry but that's wrong
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42250182]If there were other things I was interested in doing that were affordable to me, I would have already gone out and done them instead of gaming for 8+ hours a day, browsing the internet and occasionally reading a book.[/QUOTE]
You and I know both know that there are plenty of things you can do with your life except play video games and read books.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42250289]by your logic you could say that reading, playing piano, and watching tv are all things you should "do in moderation" because they don't involve socializing and therefore don't contribute to your social life.
[editline]20th September 2013[/editline]
there is nothing wrong with having a hobby and it's pretty silly to arbitrarily designate hobbies as "good" or "bad". if you like games then keep playing them.[/QUOTE]
i never said they were detrimental to a person's social life, i said that there were much better things to be doing, gawsh
video games are really a dead end though (excluding spatial cognition and stress relief)
reading is good because it grows your interests and your intelligence on subjects, and its a great stress relief.
playing piano is good because it can get you out playing in bands or open mic nights, not to mention the numerous number of positive mental health benefits of playing a musical instrument.
watching tv is actually pretty lame, do that in moderation.
hobbies are a great way to get your foot in the door of social life. im pretty close to a couple of friends because of playing garrys mod and minecraft together years ago, i even got my first gig writing music for my friends game.
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42250302]Honestly, I think you haven't.
There is so much shit to do at colleges and unis, i go to a medium sized university (~16k) and we have 260 ratified societies from anything to longboarding to breakdancing to game development to community radio. My girlfriend's university just created a society [I]just for cat lovers[/I]. Apparently they plan on going to the SPCA and bringing cats to chill out with. How many people? 54, in her university of ~1k.
And happens if you want to make a new cool society? Be a group of students with regular meeting about a subject, fill out form, twiddle your thumbs for two weeks and receive up to 2000$ in society funding.
There are so many options and possibilities. To say that you can't because they are not interesting to you and unaffordable is an absolute joke.[/QUOTE]
Believe me, I gave this stuff a chance. None of the stuff at my school seemed super interesting to me and the only reason I joined the history club was because it was relevant to my major.
Seriously though guys, all I want to know for now is how I can keep a conversation going without making it feel like an interrogation.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42250307]also, every person in my life that's significant to me is someone i met through a video game. i met my boyfriend in league of legends. two of the best friends i've ever had are in my guild in wow. so all the time i spent leveling a guild and recruiting for a raid core paid off, whether or not it's a "nerdy hobby". and with multiplayer games at least, just because you're not socializing in real life doesn't mean you aren't socializing.[/QUOTE]
a guy who i consider one of my best friends and business partner lives in a different country, i knew of him for 4 years, and i knew him online for 2 before meeting him in real life.
[editline]20th September 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42250350]Believe me, I gave this stuff a chance. None of the stuff at my school seemed super interesting to me and the only reason I joined the history club was because it was relevant to my major.
Seriously though guys, all I want to know for now is how I can keep a conversation going without making it feel like an interrogation.[/QUOTE]
how [B]much[/B] of a chance though?? do you have many friends at your place of study?
if a conversation feels forced, its usually a good idea to stop
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42250350]Believe me, I gave this stuff a chance. None of the stuff at my school seemed super interesting to me and the only reason I joined the history club was because it was relevant to my major.
Seriously though guys, all I want to know for now is how I can keep a conversation going without making it feel like an interrogation.[/QUOTE]
you might just be talking to the wrong people. i have issues holding conversations with most people but occasionally i meet someone where conversation just comes naturally.
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42250360]
how [B]much[/B] of a chance though?? do you have many friends at your place of study?
if a conversation feels forced, its usually a good idea to stop[/QUOTE]
Well I'm friends with a few people who I lived with last year in the dorms. I have no friends in any of my classes except two for three days out of the week that I have with a girl who was my roomate's girlfriend last year.
It feels like I'm always having to force conversations though unless it's someone I already know.
[editline]19th September 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42250385]you might just be talking to the wrong people. i have issues holding conversations with most people but occasionally i meet someone where conversation just comes naturally.[/QUOTE]
So basically you're saying just keep trying until I run into someone who actually wants to talk to me?
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42250410]Well I'm friends with a few people who I lived with last year in the dorms. I have no friends in any of my classes except two for three days out of the week that I have with a girl who was my roomate's girlfriend last year.
It feels like I'm always having to force conversations though unless it's someone I already know.
[editline]19th September 2013[/editline]
So basically you're saying just keep trying until I run into someone who actually wants to talk to me?[/QUOTE]
how did you get to know them? through more forced conversation?
[editline]20th September 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42250410]
So basically you're saying just keep trying until I run into someone who actually wants to talk to me?[/QUOTE]
yes
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42250421]how did you get to know them? through more forced conversation?
[/QUOTE]
Most people I know are just people I was exposed to for lack of a better term and generally are people who attempted to start conversations with me.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42250410]
So basically you're saying just keep trying until I run into someone who actually wants to talk to me?[/QUOTE]
yes, this is how real life works. most people you meet aren't going to be compatible with you, relationship-wise or otherwise.
the more you expose yourself to other people, the higher your chances are of meeting someone you click with. there's no guaranteed way of meeting people you'll get along with, even seeking people with common interests won't be enough (and sometimes the people you get along with best won't share your interests). just keep trying, but you don't need to blame yourself as much as this thread has been telling you to - if you don't get along with someone well it doesn't automatically mean it's your fault.
Well I don't think its Taepodongs fault if he's not finding people he's connecting to. But I think you gotta stop makin justifications about how crap people are and just chill about it really
[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42250343]i never said they were detrimental to a person's social life, i said that there were much better things to be doing, gawsh[/QUOTE]
telling people what their hobbies should be is absolutely ridiculous. just because you think that there are better things to be doing than playing a game, doesnt make that the truth for everybody else. just because you think its a dead end absolutely does not make it a dead end.
if you don't get as much out of it, great, but telling people so matter of factly that a particular hobby is basically useless is asinine.
i sorta see where oogala is coming from though
Video games are good relief and fun but I don't get the satisfaction or confidence boost I get from saying, playing guitar or writing music, know what im sayin
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42250435]Most people I know are just people I was exposed to for lack of a better term and generally are people who attempted to start conversations with me.[/QUOTE]
I don't understand, you're incredibly melodramatic and quick to give up and yet complain you never get anywhere? Fix that attitude, get a bit of grit. It's only you that is stopping you from getting anywhere.
one cannot fix those who do not want to be fixed
My god, I've never seen someone hiding behind so many bullshit excuses all at once. Be the master of your circumstances, be stronger than your excuses.
[QUOTE=killerteacup;42250591]i sorta see where oogala is coming from though
Video games are good relief and fun but I don't get the satisfaction or confidence boost I get from saying, playing guitar or writing music, know what im sayin[/QUOTE]
yea and on the flip side i dont care for writing music or playing guitar but im not sitting here saying your hobbies are useless
just because someone doesn't particularly enjoy something doesn't give them the right to tell someone what hobbies are worth anything and which ones aren't.
it's like he doesn't know games these days can actually on online, where you can talk to other people. real living human beings!!!! if you're not speaking to someone face to face it doesn't make socializing worth any less. he's forcing his opinions on other people like they are stone cold facts, which is bullshit.
[QUOTE=killerteacup;42250591]i sorta see where oogala is coming from though
Video games are good relief and fun but I don't get the satisfaction or confidence boost I get from saying, playing guitar or writing music, know what im sayin[/QUOTE]
my friend does all of those :v
with koreans n starcraft n all
[QUOTE=Nikeos;42250639]yea and on the flip side i dont care for writing music or playing guitar but im not sitting here saying your hobbies are useless
just because someone doesn't particularly enjoy something doesn't give them the right to tell someone what hobbies are worth anything and which ones aren't.
it's like he doesn't know games these days can actually on online, where you can talk to other people. real living human beings!!!! if you're not speaking to someone face to face it doesn't make socializing worth any less. he's forcing his opinions on other people like they are stone cold facts, which is bullshit.[/QUOTE]
I think he was focusing on productivity as a form of enjoyment
I think you're overreacting about what he's said and calling him out for something he doesn't deserve to be called about
i find myself being incredibly social nowadays, it's pretty awesome. i have found that moving back to my old neighbourhood and rekindling (good) friendships to be pretty great. I've distanced myself from pretty much all thoughts of my ex, and her blocking me on facebook (no idea why specifically, but i guess it's understandable?) was a pretty good move for the both of us to move the hell on from each other. I don't see her shit popping up everywhere, I should have done it ages ago.
this girl i've known for like, seven years and i hang out pretty regularly now, playing GTA and Halo and going to parties and shit. this isn't a "omg does she like me" bullshit thing, god no. She's gotten a really cool boyfriend in the last few months, someone who really appreciates her for who she is, and I'm so happy she's finally got that. I just think it's really cool that (and we've both acknowledged it) we didn't speak for two years and then we walk back into each other's lives and it's not awkward or weird that we disappeared off the radar at all. Has that ever happened for anyone else? It's the first time ever for me and i'm really glad I've got this friendship.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;42252072]i am late but i was away for the week i just want to know
is this dude 4 real
[editline]20th September 2013[/editline]
i feel pumped as shit if i win a tense game of dota2 idk what ur getting at[/QUOTE]
Whenever I lose a dota game I go home and beat my wife
or I would
If I had one
[QUOTE=killerteacup;42250995]I think he was focusing on productivity as a form of enjoyment
I think you're overreacting about what he's said and calling him out for something he doesn't deserve to be called about[/QUOTE]
B-I-N-G-O, you guys are overreacting way too much
I never said video games were a waste of time, and i never said that you couldn't socialize on video games (in fact I said the opposite), and I'm certainly not enforcing my opinions on you.
I said that [U]for me[/U] I found that I was much more happy focusing on the outside world. I'm not saying you have to, just saying it worked for me.
I have the perfect plan.
I'll walk up to a girl, and talk to her.
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;42254704]I have the perfect plan.
I'll walk up to a girl, and talk to her.[/QUOTE]
[IMG]http://facepunch.com/image.php?u=289739&dateline=1379504753[/IMG]
(Go on and remember - don't listen to this pussy part of you saying no)
I'm not really sure what to think about tonight, I'm both happy and sad.
Basically, I went out drinking with a few friends, and this girl started talking and in the end, she was flirting with me. I was quite interested in this girl, and I was so glad that I found out that I could picture myself being happy with someone other than my ex. So we got on pretty well, and she found excuses to hug me and stuff like that all the time, and I was really happy because I thought something would happen between us.
But because she's underage, the next pub we went to, she couldn't get in, so after 30 minutes or so, I come back out to look for her, and she was there crying, I tried to ask her what was up, but her friend was already there consoling her, and she told me just to go back inside and things would be fine. I figured out that I didn't really want much to do with some girl who gets really emotional when she drinks (probably due to the way my ex was), and I also found out that this girl has a boyfriend apparently.
So yeah, I had some fun tonight, and it felt nice for another girl to hug me and all that shit, it was also pretty nice that I felt I could get over my ex, and that a girl actually paid attention to me for once.
But also, I feel a little crappy because I went home alone tonight, with no one to fall asleep with as usual (yeah, I'm that kind of guy who likes that stuff), and I'm a bit bummed that things didn't work out the way I hoped tonight, the main thing that's getting me down is that I'm still lonely I guess.
I asked my roommate to ask his girlfriend if she knows anyone I might like. Is this a good or bad choice that I made?
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