Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
i'm going to just drop by and say this:
you're all beautiful people
I should've gone to sleep for school but I hate sleeping without my girlfriend. FFFFuuuuuck.
[QUOTE=PILLS HERE!;42375775]i'm going to just drop by and say this:
you're all beautiful people[/QUOTE]
Fuck the Saints
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;42375725]Go lift something. Right now. What's your excuse not to?[/QUOTE]
because lifting won't cure loneliness
[QUOTE=bobsynergy;42374917]Lmfaoo sorry to burst your bubble but I'm in College and a lot of my friends are in University, it's just my ex (who didn't go anywhere after highschool) and this girl who are starting drama for no reason.[/QUOTE]
wow, you're in college? and you're still a dramatic child who feels the need to start shit?
[editline]2nd October 2013[/editline]
they're not the ones "starting shit", you are.
[QUOTE=bobsynergy;42374714]
Though as soon as I got home I tweeted something like "You can't shut me down #trustory #alwayshere #alwayswillbe) which was my own way to say "fuck you"[/QUOTE]
really dude
[editline]1st October 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=bobsynergy;42374917]Just telling her the actual full breakup story because the only thing she knows is that she broke up with me in a stupid way and for some reason even after being a really good friend to her she wants my ex to be there and not me. Maybe telling her the full story that instead of what she thinks was a bad breakup as her seeing that my ex used me and change her mind about liking her more and trying to get me not to come to my own friends parties.[/QUOTE]
nothing good will come from this
never had a girlfriend crew and don't give a shit crew
[editline]2nd October 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;42376302]it'll cure "not lifting" for sure.[/QUOTE]
The endorphin release will also alleviate the feeling of loneliness a bit.
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;42376302]it'll cure "not lifting" for sure.[/QUOTE]
As well as boosting self-esteem, self-confidence and general happiness due to the release of dopamine every workout (first-hand experience, it'd make my days so much better when I'd work out in the morning). At least he'd feel like he's doing something and channeling his energy into something positive (there goes that feeling of lacking motivation).
[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;42375871]Fuck the Saints[/QUOTE]
tryna start shit?
[QUOTE=skynrdfan3;42376474]tryna start shit?[/QUOTE]
your shit's all disproportionate.
snip
Avatar fits.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;42375951]because lifting won't cure loneliness[/QUOTE]
If you're thinking direct cause and effect, no.
But by that logic, why do anything positive that doesn't have immediate material benefits?
Exercise is the goal and the reward there. Your own body produces the benefits. If I told you that you could take a drug that is entirely legal, makes you more productive, more satisfied with life, more outgoing and actively reduces both the muscle atrophy you may have incurred with this kind of mindset you have, and the cholesterol levels in your blood, as well as making you more shapely and attractive, you'd hop on that shit like you were already addicted.
Then you find out that it takes an hour's work three times a week and it's not even worth it to you anymore? Being active perpetuates itself. People who are active are more likely to [i]do[/i] things, which means that they are more likely to make connections and find partners that they are attracted to. It's not a requirement, but with all of the peripheral benefits that it comes with, why would you not do it? If you can afford it comfortably, then there's not much of an excuse not to. I'd bet you spend more time working on something else in your life that has less than half of the benefits.
[editline]2nd October 2013[/editline]
Oh by the way, that hypothetical drug I was talking about is produced by your own body and is entirely free if you know how to work it. You could even decide not to go to the gym if it's expensive and buy a weighted vest and go jogging, or some small weights for you house. Really, just going for a walk every day helps tremendously and costs nothing.
[QUOTE=Aries;42377653]guys i have a girlfriend[/QUOTE]
oh i forgot we better not talk about girlfriends here.
awkward.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;42378366]If you're thinking direct cause and effect, no.[/QUOTE]
what i'm trying to say is that he has a lot of problems and just starting to lift isn't going to magically fix all of his problems (which you guys seem to imply)
- he's lonely
- he's afraid of the future
- has no motivation
- doesn't lift (starting to lift would solve this)
- existential and identity crises
[editline]2nd October 2013[/editline]
PS i lift
If you start lifting you get a boost in testosterone so then you can walk outside and point at some hot chick and be all ME TARZAN YOU JANE and then you have a wife.
Thats what I did anyway
i like to swim instead of lift
Swimming and Lifting are kind of both on different ends of the spectrum though.
[QUOTE=Heigou;42379587]Swimming and Lifting are kind of both on different ends of the spectrum though.[/QUOTE]
They both achieve the effect we're advocating though.
Releasing endorphins like crazy.
[editline]2nd October 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Disseminate;42378601]what i'm trying to say is that he has a lot of problems and just starting to lift isn't going to magically fix all of his problems (which you guys seem to imply)
- he's lonely
- he's afraid of the future
- has no motivation
- doesn't lift (starting to lift would solve this)
- existential and identity crises
[/QUOTE]
-No motivation is alleviated when people exercise because the chemicals released directly contribute to how motivated one feels to do things that are completely unrelated. I am more motivated to do my homework when I go to the gym.
-Fear for the future is also helped when someone is in a better mood. We remember bad things when we're in a bad mindset, and extrapolate that negative things will continue to happen in the future because we draw from the current set of expectations. We expect more of how we feel most often. It's because we make predictions based upon the most prevalent issues in our minds. There is significant science behind this, and a study conducted on troops supports it. Troops in promotion-prone companies estimate their chances of success at far lower than troops in low-promotion companies. This is because they look around and see everyone but themselves getting promoted, and because they feel inferior in this situation, they expect that the future will be more of the same. The ones in less-likely-to-be-promoted companies didn't see themselves failing to be promoted constantly, so even though they statistically had a far lower chance to be than if they were in the other company, they had higher expectations.
If you're in a good mood from exercising, you believe in yourself more. You believe in the future more.
-Existential crises and identity crises arise most often in people who do not see results from their actions and feel as if they are not contributing to the future (their future and others' futures). It seems really obvious to me that actively building your self-confidence through being active should limit this issue severely.
Being lonely is a complicated problem and is [i]not[/i] solved directly, I agree. It's solved indirectly by him being more positive and more self-confident. It becomes less of an "I'm not good enough for other people" and more of an "those people haven't been exposed to me yet" kind of situation.
He doesn't have to lift. He has to be active. He has to leave the house and do something physically strenuous for a bit. Swim, run, lift; I don't care.
Is there anyway I can stop being ghost to other people in college? I moved from Latvia to UK, and english is not my native language, so I barely speak. I go on lunch with two girls, but even with them I don't speak much because they usually talk about their own stuff. Even worse is when there are more people with us so it means that I am completely invisible for everyone...
On the topic of lifting, I just went to the gym yesterday for the first time and I can confirm it is better for morale, even on the first time. It feels satisfying after half an hour or so, and the fatigue feeling afterwards is more soothing than the anxiety you usually get from being inactive.
Not sure if it actually encourages being more active, though. I wanted to sleep more than anything afterwards.
[editline]2nd October 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=RocketRacer;42379985]Is there anyway I can stop being ghost to other people in college? I moved from Latvia to UK, and english is not my native language, so I barely speak. I go on lunch with two girls, but even with them I don't speak much because they usually talk about their own stuff. Even worse is when there are more people with us so it means that I am completely invisible for everyone...[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I kinda have the same problem, except a bit less extreme since it's been one year since I entered college. I have a hard time maintaining lengthy conversations with people I know little about. My guess is it's normal for people to only form small clusters of groups in the beginning of the year.
Though in my case classes had a lot less people in them (about 40 students) so it's easier to form bonds that way, not to mention bizutage and traditions put more cohesion into the class.
Not sure how to improve the situation in such a bigger frame, but perhaps you could try to work with other groups? It's a good way of learning stuff, and you get to know each other better as well. Perhaps your Latvian origins could provide some form of interest?
[QUOTE=_Axel;42379988]On the topic of lifting, I just went to the gym yesterday for the first time and I can confirm it is better for morale, even on the first time. It feels satisfying after half an hour or so, and the fatigue feeling afterwards is more soothing than the anxiety you usually get from being inactive.
Not sure if it actually encourages being more active, though. I wanted to sleep more than anything afterwards.
[editline]2nd October 2013[/editline]
Yeah, I kinda have the same problem, except a bit less extreme since it's been one year since I entered college. I have a hard time maintaining lengthy conversations with people I know little about. My guess is it's normal for people to only form small clusters of groups in the beginning of the year.
Though in my case classes had a lot less people in them (about 40 students) so it's easier to form bonds that way, not to mention bizutage and traditions put more cohesion into the class.
Not sure how to improve the situation in such a bigger frame, but perhaps you could try to work with other groups? It's a good way of learning stuff, and you get to know each other better as well. Perhaps your Latvian origins could provide some form of interest?[/QUOTE]
Fix your diet and sleep schedule, having energy in the gym has a lot to do with making sure you get around 8 hours of sleep a night so that your hormonal balance is right and a good diet that supplies you with enough energy to get through the work out.
[QUOTE=RocketRacer;42379985]Is there anyway I can stop being ghost to other people in college? I moved from Latvia to UK, and english is not my native language, so I barely speak. I go on lunch with two girls, but even with them I don't speak much because they usually talk about their own stuff. Even worse is when there are more people with us so it means that I am completely invisible for everyone...[/QUOTE]
try working on confidence and language skills, and try socializing with other guys.
Lifting is definitely a huge booster of confidence especially once you make some form of progress with it. It can be discouraging being in the gym surrounded by jacked dudes, you can trick yourself into thinking everyone in the world looks better than you, but then you end up somewhere like a water park and realize you look better than 99 percent of the people there.
Most people do not lift. The average person is extremely weak even in comparison to a casual lifter. You won't look like a shredded magazine model overnight, but just a few months of lifting is often enough to make you better looking (as far as physique goes) and stronger than a vast majority of males out there. And while life isn't about how strong you are, it does something for your confidence when you can walk around knowing you're stronger than almost every male you see when you go out. And once you stick with it for a while, your confidence is boosted even more when you realize most people don't have the mental drive to stick with it as long as you have. They try for a few weeks and then give up, whereas you have persevered. Essentially, it makes you feel superior to other people.
It has also been proven to reduce things like stress and depression. It makes you more in-tune with your masculine side, which is a good thing considering most males out there are heavily emasculated. You don't have to walk around like some alpha jackass or something, simply having a backbone is a rarity these days. Women see you standing tall and confident and will naturally be drawn to you, you don't need to act like a douche for that to happen.
Even if all else fails and you still don't see an improvement in your social life, at least it gives you something to look forward to. Some form of progress in your life. You might be alone and have nobody to hang out with (been there, done that) but you can always look forward to setting that new deadlift PR. Simply having something to look forward to does a whole lot toward making it easier to get out of bed in the mornings.
i hear being on gear is p. efficent too.
[editline]2nd October 2013[/editline]
i'd do it if it was legal. i just suck when it comes to breaking the law/lying.
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42380254]Essentially, it makes you feel superior to other people.
[/QUOTE]
you say this like it's a good thing
Pretty sure gears aren't illegal when it's for personal use.
[QUOTE=Heigou;42380412]Pretty sure gears aren't illegal when it's for personal use.[/QUOTE]
Got illegal in Norway just now, the biggest(nearly only) cause about it in media was how steroids ruined a guys life, so he's the face of how ruined you get from using steroids. How ruined, you ask?
[t]http://gfx.nrk.no//Mw_fSOQMXBImQSU6eOIE8wYMINddNWYSBlpAhS32GPkw[/t]
They kinda downplay the part where he decided to buy cocaine of the same guy he bought steroids from, took cocaine almost every workday, and pretty much stopped cycling and just stayed on cocaine and roids all day every day.
Roids are BAAAD.
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;42380174]try working on confidence and language skills, and try socializing with other guys.[/QUOTE]
I like to talk with other people(girls mostly) but I can hardly find something to talk about. I've spoken about why am I in UK instead of Latvia and etc in front of whole tutor group(~20 people, most of which I see on every arts lesson), so I dunno what I can even talk about with them.
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