Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=pfoot;42380405]you say this like it's a good thing[/QUOTE]
I don't mean it in a ha ha ha fuck all these faggots I'm better than you way.
Just in a general confidence way. You don't have to be pompous about it, but a big part of confidence is knowing how you stack up against other people. Doesn't it make you feel better about yourself when you ace that exam everyone had a hard time with? Or when you are one of many people applying for a job and they choose you? The bottom line is, performing better than other people is a big part of self-esteem, considering self-esteem is the difference between who you want to be and who you view yourself to be. The closer the two are, the more self-esteem you have. The farther apart they are, the less self-esteem you have. Making yourself a better person, whether it's through studies or physical training, bridges that gap. The difference is lifting has a lot of health and other benefits burying yourself in a book doesn't provide.
[editline]2nd October 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;42380493]
They kinda downplay the part where he decided to buy cocaine of the same guy he bought steroids from, took cocaine almost every workday, and pretty much stopped cycling and just stayed on cocaine and roids all day every day.
Roids are BAAAD.[/QUOTE]
More like narcotics are bad.
The story is the same for pretty much every bodybuilder you see dropping dead on the news. It isn't the steroids that kill them or ruin their lives, it's the narcotics. Stay away from narcotics and it is perfectly possible to live a long healthy life while using steroids. Plenty of bodybuilders retire and grow old without having health problems, some are even healthier than the average male their age. Dorian Yates is a good example, former Mr. Olympia, took every hormone in the book, but is a perfectly healthy old man. Kevin Levrone was a hardcore alcoholic but stayed away from things like coke and meth, he is healthy enough to the point where he's thinking of making a comeback at the age of 50.
I'll never understand the logic people have with steroids. If someone dies because of brain cancer, oh well they had bad luck that sucks. But if someone who uses steroids dies of brain cancer, oh my god it was the steroids. If a cocaine addict ruins his life, everyone knows coke is bad no big deal. But if a guy who uses steroids gets addicted to cocaine and ruins his life, oh my god it was the steroids. It's as if no matter what other factors are in play, if someone uses steroids then steroids are immediately assumed to be the culprit. If I went and murdered 20 people as a natural then they would blame it on something like depression or something, poor me. But if I murdered 20 people as a hormone user oh my god it was roid rage hormones are the devil.
Just like that baseball player kid who killed himself after his parents found out he used steroids. He was on SSRIs and had serious depression. If a normal kid with depression on those drugs kills himself, well yeah it was the depression. This kid happened to be on steroids and killed himself, fuck the fact he was on SSRIs which could potentially make everything worse, it was definitely the steroids despite the fact that any bodybuilder will tell you steroids make you feel like a god.
i honestly didn't mean roids are bad, i'd be all over that if it was legal. shame i always thought it was illegal, it got illegal in july.
Personally, I don't really view being jacked as some kind of ideal, and I think there's less physical ways of getting more self-confident.
Personally I run a bit and overall I just try to stay in shape. Just filling up a bit more of your personal space can make a huge difference, and overall I find that simply having an open body language changes the way people interact with your enormously. Keeping eye contact and so on is also pretty important - you don't have to be the most interesting person in the world to be likable, and if people feel like they can talk to you, it's much easier to keep a conversation going. Being open makes people more inclined to take up issues they wouldn't otherwise.
But I'm not gonna downplay the fact that it's important to be in at least reasonable shape, and if you actually have a problem with your body, you should definitely fix it. You don't have to go overboard to have self-confidence, though.
Oh definitely. Don't mean to imply you gotta be shredded or something. Pretty much agree with you, being in at least reasonable shape is enough since most people aren't even in reasonable shape. Doesn't take much at all to stand out. I'm just getting jacked out of my mind because I'm actually going to compete.
Oh, they aren't really good at spinning the story though.
"It's disturbing that so many youths are using steroids, especially to me who know the horrible results"
Then he fucking looks like this.
[t]http://gfx.nrk.no//Y4O4wUyWM7gX1jNja-Nr5gbzyFEsNBkPXoCorJ1OHe-w[/t]
[QUOTE=Heigou;42380155]Fix your diet and sleep schedule, having energy in the gym has a lot to do with making sure you get around 8 hours of sleep a night so that your hormonal balance is right and a good diet that supplies you with enough energy to get through the work out.[/QUOTE]
I sleep about 9 hours per night. Food wise though, I have to get by with what's provided by the college's canteen, ie not much.
[QUOTE=_Axel;42380910]I sleep about 9 hours per night. Food wise though, I have to get by with what's provided by the college's canteen, ie not much.[/QUOTE]
write down what stuff you can get there, and take it to Witness the Fitness before we all clog this down with how swole we wish we were
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42380254]Lifting is definitely a huge booster of confidence especially once you make some form of progress with it. It can be discouraging being in the gym surrounded by jacked dudes, you can trick yourself into thinking everyone in the world looks better than you, but then you end up somewhere like a water park and realize you look better than 99 percent of the people there.
Most people do not lift. The average person is extremely weak even in comparison to a casual lifter. You won't look like a shredded magazine model overnight, but just a few months of lifting is often enough to make you better looking (as far as physique goes) and stronger than a vast majority of males out there. And while life isn't about how strong you are, it does something for your confidence when you can walk around knowing you're stronger than almost every male you see when you go out. And once you stick with it for a while, your confidence is boosted even more when you realize most people don't have the mental drive to stick with it as long as you have. They try for a few weeks and then give up, whereas you have persevered. Essentially, it makes you feel superior to other people.
.[/QUOTE]
As a skinny boy who doesn't look anything like the people at the gym and doesn't seem to make much improvement, I can say that this stuff is not the most important part of getting exercise.
I'm definitely intimidated by the other people in the gym and don't think that I look better than the people at water parks. In fact, I don't look a whole lot different than when I started a year ago.
If you're in it for looks, then good luck and power to you.
If you're in it to improve your life, don't think about looks. Those are collateral bonuses. You're being healthy. That should be motivation in of itself.
I only go three times a week and don't consider myself a huge gym guy. I'm certainly not a beefy person by any measurement. I do notice significant benefits to going though, even though mine aren't physically obvious things like big muscles. Yes, I do have more defined muscles than when I started, and am stronger, but not by a whole order of magnitude or anything. I also never expected that and don't need it.
So don't anyone be turned away for fear that they'll never look like the Incredible Hulk.
That's just because you're not eating enough though, it's not like there's a mysterious force stopping you from gaining a significant amount of muscle mass. Just saying since some people might be into it just to get a better looking body and it would be wrong to tell them they'll never get big unless they're lucky since it has nothing to do with luck.
I wouldn't mind trying to be more active. Since I started college, it seems I have much less of a drive to do things like play videogames and shit like that. Probably because I got out of the habit due to my work load. The downside to this is that when I'm at home, I often find myself easily bored when I don't have homework to do. Not to mention, being single has made me a lot more social outside of school.
The only thing is, I have never really been the active type. I've always seemed to be the scrawny indoor kid, for the most part. I honestly cannot remember when the last time I exercised outside of P.E. was. So, any of you guys have tips on how to start being more active? Where's a good place to start?
[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42380254]
Most people do not lift. The average person is extremely weak even in comparison to a casual lifter. You won't look like a shredded magazine model overnight, but just a few months of lifting is often enough to make you better looking (as far as physique goes) and stronger than a vast majority of males out there. And while life isn't about how strong you are, it does something for your confidence when you can walk around knowing you're stronger than almost every male you see when you go out. And once you stick with it for a while, your confidence is boosted even more when you realize most people don't have the mental drive to stick with it as long as you have. They try for a few weeks and then give up, whereas you have persevered. Essentially, it makes you feel superior to other people.
It has also been proven to reduce things like stress and depression. It makes you more in-tune with your masculine side, which is a good thing considering most males out there are heavily emasculated. You don't have to walk around like some alpha jackass or something, simply having a backbone is a rarity these days. Women see you standing tall and confident and will naturally be drawn to you, you don't need to act like a douche for that to happen.[/QUOTE]
thats really silly though
do what you need to do to feel "superior" and "masculine" but im sure lots of people lift and work on their body without this nonsense
lifting isnt the same as biking but when i bicycle none of this crosses my mind. i just feel good riding my bicycle because its fun and i feel better in the long run because my body feels better
I need advice on how to stop thinking of relationships, I need to get rid of the urge to find one because of personal reasons.
Find other shit to do that won't leave you any time for relationships, worked great for me and I went from being a desperate fuck in my teens to not giving a fuck at 21 and I've never been in a relationship, it helped make me more ambitious and focused on my goals.
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;42383878]I need advice on how to stop thinking of relationships, I need to get rid of the urge to find one because of personal reasons.[/QUOTE]
Holy shit, I feel the exact same way as you.
[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;42383878]I need advice on how to stop thinking of relationships, I need to get rid of the urge to find one because of personal reasons.[/QUOTE]
i dont think you can really stop yourself from thinking about something, just saying im gonna stop thinking about this lends to thinking about it
you should maybe try focusing your energies onto other things that can distract you from that
[QUOTE=Splash Attack;42382813]I wouldn't mind trying to be more active. Since I started college, it seems I have much less of a drive to do things like play videogames and shit like that. Probably because I got out of the habit due to my work load. The downside to this is that when I'm at home, I often find myself easily bored when I don't have homework to do. Not to mention, being single has made me a lot more social outside of school.
The only thing is, I have never really been the active type. I've always seemed to be the scrawny indoor kid, for the most part. I honestly cannot remember when the last time I exercised outside of P.E. was. So, any of you guys have tips on how to start being more active? Where's a good place to start?[/QUOTE]
Walking is always a good place to start. Just get out and go for a walk.
[QUOTE=thisispain;42384240]i dont think you can really stop yourself from thinking about something, just saying im gonna stop thinking about this lends to thinking about it
you should maybe try focusing your energies onto other things that can distract you from that[/QUOTE]
Well I enjoy drawing and cartooning but I don't have the motivation to actually make something... You know... Good.
i get ya, i try to set goals for myself and punish myself if i dont meet those goals
like "draw something today" or "write a song today" and if i don't i force myself to not do something id usually do like play a game or eat
motivation and creativity are things you get into the habit of. if you can just consistently do something for maybe just a week youll find yourself doing it more and more as time goes on
this is just for me tho, idk how it works for anyone else
[video=youtube;d6wG_sAdP0U]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wG_sAdP0U[/video]
Pretty amusing advice from a maybe a little bit crazy lady on online dating, since that is becoming so popular here
[QUOTE=thisispain;42384644]i get ya, i try to set goals for myself and punish myself if i dont meet those goals
like "draw something today" or "write a song today" and if i don't i force myself to not do something id usually do like play a game or eat
motivation and creativity are things you get into the habit of. if you can just consistently do something for maybe just a week youll find yourself doing it more and more as time goes on
this is just for me tho, idk how it works for anyone else[/QUOTE]
What's the point if nobody is going to like it or take what I do seriously. [URL="http://i.imgur.com/ehhM5p4.png"]I made this today[/URL] but it's shit like 99% of the things I "make"
I also try stylizing stuff like above but it is a hit or miss
no one takes what i do seriously either but i do it because i need to
youll never be great unless you take the time to get somewhere
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42376227]wow, you're in college? and you're still a dramatic child who feels the need to start shit?
[editline]2nd October 2013[/editline]
they're not the ones "starting shit", you are.[/QUOTE]
I'm a dramatic child and starting shit for moving on and not doing anything while this girl isn't for sending a mass text to EVERY friend of mine inviting them and saying not to tell me because she didn't want me to come to my own friends party? lmfaoooo are you serious?
I didn't tell my friends to stick up for me and say something, they did any ways, they just said to ignore her and show up any ways because it's not her party. I don't know what I worded wrong in my post and if I did word something wrong sorry but if you still think I'm starting something then you need to honestly learn how to read.
The only thing "I started" was make a suggestion of confronting her since this shit is childish and ridiculous, but I wasn't the one who sent a mass text to every friend trying to secretly trying to not invite someone to their own friends party.
[QUOTE=thisispain;42376261]really dude
[editline]1st October 2013[/editline]
nothing good will come from this[/QUOTE]
The tweet was more of a joking way to say it not a serious way at all, sorry I didn't explain that right and your right I have already decided to say nothing, I'll just ignore her but it's pathetic and childish not to invite me to my own friends parties.
#trustory #cantholdmedown
Left high school, going to college now, and completely rebooted my social life. I'm still struggling to be social, but I already feel loads better than I used to.
[QUOTE=dmillerw;42386277]Left high school, going to college now, and completely rebooted my social life. I'm still struggling to be social, but I already feel loads better than I used to.[/QUOTE]
I was really awkward and shy before then became really social before I entered college miraculously :v: but yeah it feels amazing.
My college is connected to the university that most of my friends go to and while I wish I was with them it's a better situation for me, over there they all stay together like before during breaks and don't meet new people because of it, since I can't do that all the time due to different schedules I had to make new friends and such and it's awesome doing that while none of my friends have because they just stay together and don't bother talking to new people.
So I basically have the best of both, friends at my college and my friends I'm with all the time a building away and I prefer it so much like this other then just hanging on to them instead of meeting new people.
I feel extremely unmotivated to do anything. No matter how hard I try I cant get motivated/energy enough to leave my bed.
Im dying.
[QUOTE=Gatsby;42387005]I feel extremely unmotivated to do anything. No matter how hard I try I cant get motivated/energy enough to leave my bed.
Im dying.[/QUOTE]
Stimulants homie.
realtalk though my lethargy absolutely disappears when I take Vyvanse.
Oh god, I think I might have Maladaptive Daydreaming. The symptoms fit me PERFECTLY. I have been like this as long as I could remember.
[QUOTE=Heigou;42379587]Swimming and Lifting are kind of both on different ends of the spectrum though.[/QUOTE]
swimming makes u sexier than lifting
and then you can be all romantic and go on swimming dates and show off
[QUOTE=Gatsby;42388868]Oh god, I think I might have Maladaptive Daydreaming. The symptoms fit me PERFECTLY. I have been like this as long as I could remember.[/QUOTE]
Be careful about self diagnosis, man.
[QUOTE=Gatsby;42388868]Oh god, I think I might have Maladaptive Daydreaming. The symptoms fit me PERFECTLY. I have been like this as long as I could remember.[/QUOTE]
whether or not you have the symptoms doesn't matter. everyone technically has the symptoms of mental disorders, the difference is that in order to be diagnosed with the disorder it has to be a highly prevalent trait.
furthermore the entire idea behind mental disorders is that they involve something you've been unable to adapt to on your own and are actually a problem. if this is a serious problem for you see a therapist (having a good idea of what you think is wrong with you can be highly advantageous when you decide to see a therapist), and if it's not a problem then it's not much of a disorder.
[editline]3rd October 2013[/editline]
and maladaptive daydreaming is usually a coping mechanism to deal with past trauma. if that's the cause of it for you, you should probably see a professional.
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