Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT - General - Facepunch Forum

Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

11,088 replies, posted
In This Thread

So uh, one of my first times venturing out of the Programming section, I need some advice. Recently I had my schedule changed and in one class I sit at a table with this girl. She is pretty cool, and I wouldn't say that we are friends but we chat some times and joke around. I don't even think she knows my name. Every once and a while I will ( accidentally ) make awkward eye contact and she will just smile at me. I am 90% she is single and I want to ask her out. I am one of the most socially awkward people in the universe I literally have talked to 3 females in my entire life because talking to girls just doesn't work with me. What do?

[QUOTE=Duskling;40258835]So uh, one of my first times venturing out of the Programming section, I need some advice. Recently I had my schedule changed and in one class I sit at a table with this girl. She is pretty cool, and I wouldn't say that we are friends but we chat some times and joke around. I don't even think she knows my name. Every once and a while I will ( accidentally ) make awkward eye contact and she will just smile at me. I am 90% she is single and I want to ask her out. I am one of the most socially awkward people in the universe I literally have talked to 3 females in my entire life because talking to girls just doesn't work with me. What do?[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/GLrxKGc.png[/IMG]

[QUOTE=Eric95;40258963][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/GLrxKGc.png[/IMG][/QUOTE] Well I mean, it might not be the best idea to just up and ask someone out if you're gonna be really awkward about it and also they don't know you much. Right? I mean, I'd suggest sort of getting a bit closer to her and trying to get yourself more comfortable being around her and talking to her, THEN just fucking ask her out. A lot of people in here say that the point of asking someone out is to get to know them, but not everyone thinks that way. Of course, that's what happens on a date, but I don't think all girls will think, "Well, I don't know him very well, but if we go on a date I will get to know him, so okay.". I think it's mostly along the lines of "ew who is this guy".

[QUOTE=riku2211;40259024]Well I mean, it might not be the best idea to just up and ask someone out if you're gonna be really awkward about it and also they don't know you much. Right? I mean, I'd suggest sort of getting a bit closer to her and trying to get yourself more comfortable being around her and talking to her, THEN just fucking ask her out. A lot of people in here say that the point of asking someone out is to get to know them, but not everyone thinks that way. Of course, that's what happens on a date, but I don't think all girls will think, "Well, I don't know him very well, but if we go on a date I will get to know him, so okay.". I think it's mostly along the lines of "ew who is this guy".[/QUOTE] No. The longer you keep pussy footing around making it clear you're attracted the more likely you're going to end up friend zoned. If thats how you think girls respond to guys asking them out, lol way to shoot yourself down before you've even tried. Assertiveness is confident behavior and its attractive, not to mention shes probably going to be flattered that you find her attractive. Seriously its dumb how many guys here think its a crime or social suicide or something to convey attraction. The only real difference between a platonic relationship and a romantic one is sexual attraction - thats it. Its not a taboo ffs, its healthy human behavior.

[QUOTE=JaegerMonster;40259180]No. The longer you keep pussy footing around making it clear you're attracted the more likely you're going to end up friend zoned. If thats how you think girls respond to guys asking them out, lol way to shoot yourself down before you've even tried. Assertiveness is confident behavior and its attractive, not to mention shes probably going to be flattered that you find her attractive. Seriously its dumb how many guys here think its a crime or social suicide or something to convey attraction. The only real difference between a platonic relationship and a romantic one is sexual attraction - thats it. Its not a taboo ffs, its healthy human behavior.[/QUOTE] I wasn't saying it's taboo, and I wasn't saying to pussy foot around it. Definitely don't pussy foot around it. Yeah it may be healthy human behavior but when you're not good at that sort of thing it may not come off well. Not every guy can just summon up some suave shit and tell a girl she's beautiful, you know? Any guy can tell a girl she's beautiful, but that doesn't mean she's not weirded out. It's not taboo at all, but I don't know about you guys, but as far as I've seen not everyone has that open mindedness, where they are willing to get to know someone by going out on a date with them, or where someone telling them they look good is great. I've literally heard girls at my school talking about things along the lines of some guy doing that, and how creepy they though it was. Which, yeah, doesn't speak for every girl out there, but it's still a thing. Okay, I probably over exaggerated with "ew who is this guy", but my point still stands. The way I thought of it before coming into this thread and actually thinking of it the way you guys do was that I should know a person before deciding whether or not would want to go on a date with them. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the normal mindset of a teenager in high school. Duskling, I'm not assuming you're creepy or weird anything, at all. And Jaeger IS absolutely right. Being assertive and confident is attractive, or a good impression to say the least. You just said you're socially awkward, and you don't want to push her away by making things awkward, nor do you want to end up actually going on a date with her if you're just going to be an awkward mess. All I was saying is get to the point where you just feel comfortable enough, and like he said, definitely don't pussy foot around it. Just, like, say, "We haven't really been properly introduced, my names ______" or something along those lines first, you know? Am I entirely in the wrong here or? I'm just thinking of it from the other side's perspective. Some people DO find it to be basically just weird of someone to up an ask them out, probably because most of their lives they were introduced to and befriended people in close groups and whatnot. If it was exclusively the way you guys say it is, then any time anyone asked someone else out they would say yes, and everyone would have the inherent ability to be confident and cool about it.

[QUOTE=JaegerMonster;40259180]Seriously its dumb how many guys here think its a crime or social suicide or something to convey attraction.[/QUOTE] Care to elaborate on this please?

[QUOTE=riku2211;40259024]Well I mean, it might not be the best idea to just up and ask someone out if you're gonna be really awkward about it and also they don't know you much. Right? I mean, I'd suggest sort of getting a bit closer to her and trying to get yourself more comfortable being around her and talking to her, THEN just fucking ask her out. A lot of people in here say that the point of asking someone out is to get to know them, but not everyone thinks that way. Of course, that's what happens on a date, but I don't think all girls will think, "Well, I don't know him very well, but if we go on a date I will get to know him, so okay.". I think it's mostly along the lines of "ew who is this guy".[/QUOTE] the trick to being less frightened of asking people out? [B]ask people out.[/B] if you sit around waiting for your fear of a situation you've never put yourself in to magically disappear you're wasting your fucking time. and he already said they talk in class etc. how else do you expect them to get to know each other better other than meeting outside of class? [editline]12th April 2013[/editline] and it's about getting to know someone you're interested in, obviously there's a chance that she'd reject him but if they get along and she seems interested then there's no harm in asking. even if she's not interested she'll probably take it as a compliment that he's interested in her at the very least. [editline]12th April 2013[/editline] like it's not a fucking marriage contract, all you're doing is saying "hey i think you're cool and at least slightly attractive and would like to get to know you outside of class". i know it's a big deal in high school or whatever but in the real world people don't go gossiping about how so-and-so likes them to all their friends.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40260030]the trick to being less frightened of asking people out? [B]ask people out.[/B] if you sit around waiting for your fear of a situation you've never put yourself in to magically disappear you're wasting your fucking time. and he already said they talk in class etc. how else do you expect them to get to know each other better other than meeting outside of class? [editline]12th April 2013[/editline] and it's about getting to know someone you're interested in, obviously there's a chance that she'd reject him but if they get along and she seems interested then there's no harm in asking. even if she's not interested she'll probably take it as a compliment that he's interested in her at the very least. [editline]12th April 2013[/editline] like it's not a fucking marriage contract, all you're doing is saying "hey i think you're cool and at least slightly attractive and would like to get to know you outside of class". i know it's a big deal in high school or whatever but in the real world people don't go gossiping about how so-and-so likes them to all their friends.[/QUOTE] Man I'm not even saying anything about "gossip", no one should give a shit about that even IF it were a thing. I was just giving an example of how the one girl thought it creepy when a guy asked her out, the fact she's telling it to others is irrelevant. He said he's socially awkward, I'm just saying he shouldn't jump the gun and hurl himself into something he's not ready for. Like he said, she (probably) doesn't even know his name. I never said NOT to ask her out, just that, I don't know, maybe he should give it a little more time rather than asking out a girl he's known for a few days - a week who doesn't even know his name. I think I said what I was trying to say entirely wrong and I'm going to stop posting now [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;40260260]and how do you expect them to get to know each other better in a classroom? [editline]12th April 2013[/editline] he said they talk in class already, it's not like they can sit and have an intimate hour-long conversation during a lecture. [editline]12th April 2013[/editline] and telling someone already nervous about asking people out that he should analyze the situation even more than he already is probably won't help. dwelling on the possibility of rejection is worse than experiencing it.[/QUOTE] Jesus, I never said any of that. Like, at all. I never said they should sit in class and have a nice long chat, or that he should dwell on the situation, he said the girl doesn't even fucking know his name and I was saying that's a little soon to ask someone out and he should at least fucking introduce himself properly first???? Like I said, I clearly misrepresented myself and I'm gonna just leave it alone now.

and how do you expect them to get to know each other better in a classroom? [editline]12th April 2013[/editline] he said they talk in class already, it's not like they can sit and have an intimate hour-long conversation during a lecture. [editline]12th April 2013[/editline] and telling someone already nervous about asking people out that he should analyze the situation even more than he already is probably won't help. dwelling on the possibility of rejection is worse than experiencing it.

[QUOTE=JaegerMonster;40259180]No. The longer you keep pussy footing around making it clear you're attracted the more likely you're going to end up friend zoned. If thats how you think girls respond to guys asking them out, lol way to shoot yourself down before you've even tried. Assertiveness is confident behavior and its attractive, not to mention shes probably going to be flattered that you find her attractive. Seriously its dumb how many guys here think its a crime or social suicide or something to convey attraction. The only real difference between a platonic relationship and a romantic one is sexual attraction - thats it. Its not a taboo ffs, its healthy human behavior.[/QUOTE] Yeah you know if I didn't know the name of someone asking me out I wouldn't say yes. Essentially ever. I recommend this instead: "Hey, do you know what my name is?" "Yea" "What is it?" "INCERTNAMEHERE" "Yup, wanna date me?" Ok not really :v: but I do think it would be worth the time to invest enough getting to know her before hand to at least be on a first name basis.

Jesus christ guys its not that hard to answer this question Duskling the answer is very simple. Get talking to her properly in class one day, and on the way out ask her when her next break is or if she has a break now, and then be like "Cool, want to get a coffee?" Honestly this whole 'ask her out!!' mentality is great in most contexts but in this one he doesnt even know if she knows his name so asking her on a proper date might be a bit much Ergo, do something super chill and relaxing, no pressure involved - it's just a coffee and its a good way of seeing if there's anything there

[QUOTE=killerteacup;40261001] [I]Duskling the answer is very simple[/I][/QUOTE] what

[QUOTE=johnsten;40261013]what[/QUOTE] more simple than the last half a page has made it look

Hey, don't really have an issue at the mom but I just wanted to say I'm finally feeling better after the bad streak I was having with girls. Forcing myself into talking to the quite attractive ones across the room from me and all where beforehand I'd turn my head the other direction and not say a word in fear; watched a few videos and decided I needed to speak up more (my words would always trail away when talking to a girl I find hot), stopped putting them on a pedestal and generally be less of a little wimp around them. Even a simple "Hey, [name]. How are you doing?" is better than nothing at all I've learned. Just starting to throw myself out there more and all, still learning the ropes of it all but I feel a whole lot better actually talking instead of cowering.

Movie Night V3 was a success! Zombieland is great!

So I had this girl come over my place tonight and we had a great time. we cuddled in my bed watching movies and stuff on youtube. i'm so happy and she really likes me. I hope i dont fuck this up

Thanks for all the advice, wasn't expecting all of that :) I guess I will try to catch her on the way out of class one day and see. I've just always had a fear of rejection, which sounds pretty stupid but pretty much my entire life I have gotten into so many embarrassing and awkward situations that anything that could be considered "suprising" just scares me.

[QUOTE]Hi guys, my name is Jaric. I'm only 16 years old, so I'll be the first to admit that my problems are mostly petty. As you can see I don't really post on facepunch, I sort of just lurk around. That's mostly because I don't really have much to offer in discussions, and the jokes I think of are kind of meh. However, I kind of dug myself a really deep hole recently and I need some help getting out. I've been talking to some people offline, but none of them have been really helping. The person that usually gets me through stuff like this hates me now so I can't really talk to her. Yeah, that's basically my problem. Our parents are in the military which means we move around a lot. 3 years ago she moved to Japan, and I moved shortly afterwards. We didn't really start to become friends until a year after that during 9th grade. Ever since then we've been talking a lot, and our relationship got stronger and stronger. Eventually, our friendship grew so strong to the point where we tell each other all of our problems. It was amazing. We loved each other very much, but the more we grew closer the more I started to fall in love. She was going out with this guy when I confessed my feelings for her, and she broke up with him because as it turns out she liked me too. We didn't last very long as lovers, in fact we only lasted for a week. She told me that she liked me better as a friend, and that she likes my best friend Bob. That was a very rough time for me, but we were really good friends so I decided that I should man up and make her happy. I set her up with my best friend, and as a result I was depressed for at least a month. It wasn't really that bad though, because me and her still had an evolving relationship through friendship. In fact, after a while she even confessed that she still loves me more than she loves Bob, although she only loves me as a friend. I asked her why she chose Bob over me and if there was ever a chance for the two of us to go out... she said that she really only just sees me as a friend. At this point me and Bob have been giving each other the cold shoulder, because Bob found out that I still wanted to go out with her. I didn't really mind though, as long as I can be best friends with her I'm sort of happy. This went on for about 2 months. She was getting depressed about me leaving even after I promised her that I'll go to college with her. As you can see, we really meant a lot to each other. Even though I was happy with the two of us being great friends, I still had a huge crush on her and I still wanted to be with her as more than friends. Recently, she informed me that she and Bob have been having sex. This broke my heart. It hurt more than the time she broke up with me for Bob. I went to her house that night, and I told her how I felt...again. Everything was going fine. She was just comforting me by hugging me, and telling me that I'll find someone else as a girlfriend. She's still clearly disinterested in going out with me. Then before I left, I made the biggest mistake of my life. Out of impulse, I leaned forward, put my hands around her head and kissed her. This made her really mad, she told Bob about it that very same night. I apologized multiple times but she won't forgive me, and I can understand that. After all, I almost ruined her relationship (they're still going out). She won't even talk to me anymore, and now I don't know what to do. I still want to be friends with her(yes, just as a friend. I don't care about going out with her anymore, I just want her as a friend back). She was the only thing keeping me happy. How can I apologize to someone who won't even talk or look at me? How can she even forgive me? She even removed me from Skype. Please give me advice. I've been crying my eyes out ever since I saw that I don't have her as a friend on skype anymore. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=riku2211;40253025]What OogalaBoogal said. It seems like this girl's been a part of your life for a long time now, and frankly not an incredibly good part of it. I think you should definitely be her friend if it comes down to her moving to Cali, do whatever you can for her, but keep on the path you were on before all this. You were so close, and trust me I know exactly how it feels to be just about over someone and have them pop back up again, it sucks. A lot. But you just have to keep going. It's actually a bit easier than the first time. Just pick back up where you left off. If you have to, if she moves so soon, just let her know that while you want to be her friend you want to keep it to sort of a minimum [I]at first.[/I] Don't let her consume your life.[/QUOTE] Here we go, oh god I'm so excited. Hi my name's Robert. I'll condense this because I [I]hate[/I] drama. To start off, let me say I never told her they couldn't be friends. I went through months of watching a boy ask my girlfriend out, a boy that she was friends with. Please keep in mind while you're reading through all of this that I asked this boy, prior to dating my girlfriend if he was okay with it. I taught the fuck how to shave, I enjoyed his company and thought of him as a really good friend. He put me in a good mood and few people did that for me. Anyways! I didn't even really know the girl, I had never actually had much conversation with her but she told me she had feelings for me and I said "We could try it." I was terrified of being an asshole to her, who I thought of then as just a cute girl who could barely tell me she had a crush on me. I developed feelings for her quickly, although I was weary the first few days when I hadn't known her personality very well. I didn't have to try, we have similar personalities and I'd imagine for people like us it'd be difficult to hit it off immediately since we're both quiet. Then I had to deal with Jaric asking her out. I always brushed this off, he loved going to her house at around 11PM and getting her to come outside and asking her out. He hadn't done this one time, but multiple times and she would always just tell me what he had done. I used to brush it off, I obviously didn't want to be his friend any longer since he didn't give a single fuck about me from my point of view, [B]and did not give a single fuck about the girl considering she was not interested in him and he knew that, but continued his pursuit anyways, abusing the relationship they've built as best friends.[/B] I guess he doesn't see it like that. I suppose when a girl tells you she's happy in her relationship and wouldn't give it up in favor of something else that could easily be confused with "Oh I actually just want you to try harder." I only had a major issue with it when he decided it was a good idea to kiss her. She would say "Maybe he was like that before when I never gave him a straight answer, like I'd never directly tell him that I did not want to date him". It's wonderful how she could blame herself when she's faced with the possibility of losing her best friend who refuses to stop making advances or dealing with a boyfriend who would tried to be as patient as possible with both an asshole he used to care for and someone he's in love with (and her wishing to keep her best friend). Good job Jaric. I've never spoke to you about this, I just spoke to your mom because I didn't want to say anything to you and I didn't feel like dealing with the repercussions of foolishly punching the shit out of you but good job. I do not know what kind of asshole decides that taking a kiss like that was a good idea. I suppose you thought it would be romantic that amid telling her how she was the only person you've ever cared for and that you've been selfish your whole life, and seeing that she would cry about it that it was the green light for stealing another kiss, since you weren't yet satisfied with the little pecks you got when you two dated for like three days. One of those pecks being suggested by me, if you remember, when you didn't think it'd be an okay idea to kiss her goodbye at the end of the day. [QUOTE=Dunsparce;40252618]Hi guys, you probably don't remember who I am. I'll try to refresh your memory That was posted in the last thread and I really appreciated your guys' help. I followed the advice you guys gave me and I pretty much avoided talking to her for about 3 weeks. It wasn't easy. It's embarrassing for me to admit, but there were plenty of nights where I cried myself to sleep. But towards the end of the 3rd week, I was honestly starting to do well. I thought I was finally going to get over her and that we can both finally move on with our lives. 2 days ago I got a call. To my surprise, it was from her. I had just woken up at this point (it's still spring break for our school right now), and I was getting a little nervous. I answered the phone and she was crying, pretty heavily. In all of the time I've known her, this is the first time she's ever cried like that. I could barely make out her sentences because of how hard she was crying but I was able to decipher this "Jaric, thank you for everything you've done for me, and I'm sorry but this is the last time you'll ever see me. I think I'm really going to go through with this". Sudden panic engulfs me. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before . The closest thing to death that I ever experienced was when my grandfather died and that was like 13 years ago. There were already signs before that pointed to her being suicidal, like cutting herself, but in all those times I was there for her. So she was never really driven to this point, until now that is. I started to panic-yell "What? What are you talking about? Stop what you're doing. I'm headed over there right now, give me 15 minutes. Please just 15 minutes, wait for me" "I'm not home" "What? Where are you?" "I'm on base" ( I live on a military base, she lives outside of it nearby) "Where on base!" She hangs up I rush directly outside, while still trying to contact her. At this point I'm not really thinking anymore. I was sort of just running around, and yelling her name. I was scared. Then I started to actually think about this. I'm a pretty smart kid, when I'm calm. I figured out that the only reason she'd be on base alone during spring break is if she had an appointment with her therapist. So I rush over there, ignored every security guard, and went straight for the man himself. This guy really pissed me off. When I told him what she said to me over the phone, he said that it didn't really sound like a threat. I got really fucking pissed. "I'm not gonna take that risk!" I yelled In retrospect, it really didn't sound like she was going to commit suicide. Nevertheless, he should have showed more concern. They called her parents "just to be sure" and I rush outside again I run around and I keep trying to call her for like 15 minutes, until finally someone picks up again. It was Bob. He said "She doesn't have her phone with her" I felt the weirdest combination of relief and confusion. If she met up with Bob, that means she couldn't be in any sort of danger anymore, but there were still so many unanswered questions. Turns out when her counselor called her parents, her step-dad was able to find her before she was able to fully drink the cough syrup and he took her home. Bob was there and they had a fight that resulted in her throwing her phone at him. I could have left it at that, but I wasn't satisfied. I had to make sure she'd never do that again. I go to her house and I talk to her. Turns out, when they had sex one time the condom broke. Which meant she had to tell her mom, and then her mom got really pissed. Her punishment, was getting sent back to California which basically meant being away from everyone she loved. She said first she lost me, and now she's going to lose Bob. "Why don't we just become friends again then?" I asked "But Bob" Then everything became clear. I knew it was weird for her to hold a grudge. Bob was forcing her to not be friends with me, which makes sense I guess. I've come to accept my defeat, but I still had to do something about the suicide thing "How about this? If you get sent to Cali, we'd start chatting again. Like how we met." "...alright I won't commit suicide" [I think you should know that you're getting the abridged version of all the dialogues] I gave my number to her parents just in case something like this happens again. Apparently I was the only person she called that day. She said she thought, I was the only who would care. After this whole thing I've been overcome with hope again. Hope that we'll be friends again. Later that night she told me that her mom won't be sending her to Cali after all. Her punishment was now being grounded for 5 months. Then 2 days have passed and nothing else have happened. She still hasn't talked to me. And now I'm back to square one. Just when I was finally starting to get over her, I'm back to being depressed as shit. What do I do facepunch? Do I try to be friends with her again? Or is it really impossible with Bob there?[/QUOTE] Now this. We didn't get in a fight. She took her phone apart because she didn't want to talk to her parents and she was speaking of suicide. I'm almost regretting replying to all of this bullshit. Replying to it on a [I]forum that I showed you, like you can pretend I wouldn't find this or something.[/I] Woah, she was the only person she called that day? Apologizing because she felt guilty for the shit that you put on her? Wow, cool! We didn't fight, I was with her and was trying to talk her out of it. I talked to her step-dad over the phone and talked to her Mom at her work. No phone throwing. I took her phone because she was getting a lot of calls, and she simply wasn't letting me take her to her mom's work like she was told. Evil boyfriend that's keeping his girlfriend from other guys woooOOoooOOoooo, makes for such good drama, eh Jarc? You know that I was fine with her being friends with an ex and everything, you know that she has guy friends and I don't really give a fuck. You know you fucked up. There aren't people that know the entire story that will tell you that you're not being a selfish shit. If you loved the girl, if you really loved her and not your piss poor excuse for love where making her uncomfortable and not being happy for her when she tells you she is in a happy relationship, you would settle for someone that most people don't have and actually remain good friends with your ex. You were hanging out with her and seeing her every day for fuck's sake, you weren't being restricted you were just told that it didn't work out between the two of you. I literally never disliked someone more than you. I don't feel sorry for you anymore, you're more of a drama queen than any girl I've met. You're selfish, still. Don't kid yourself. I was completely ready to brush off some cute girl, in favor of my friend. Instead you want to take the credit for being selfless and getting us together while being butthurt when you push your stupid shit too far and refuse to stop treating her like she's just a girl you need to work hard for. God, I used to like how you treated her because she told me you two could talk about anything. Sorry for realizing that you do not give a fuck, and not letting her think I'm okay with some stupid kid thinking he can do whatever he wants because he has a shitty idea of what's acceptable and what isn't. I'm not even saying I'm being selfless about all of this, I [B]WAS[/B] selfless, the first few fucking times you've asked her out and she's declined. Now I'm not okay at all with the feeling that you've proven [I]that you can't stop your shit[/I] and that she wanted to believe that you were done and you proved time and time again that you were just taking a break. I'm done feeling sympathy for you. [B]This is not your window back, just to make more shitty drama. You are not her savior and guardian from self harm, since I believe it's in your character to play that card.[/B] Please excuse the length any mistakes, I've written this pretty quickly. Somewhere in there I switched from telling it as a narrative to speaking to Jaric, I apologize for that as well. I'll also apologize for the language, fuck, I'm sorry that [I]this post needs to be made at all.[/I]

The plot thickens

"To start off, let me say I never told her they couldn't be friends." Well, I was never told anything about this. She just said that we couldn't be friends because of you, and that's what I assumed. "Please keep in mind while you're reading through all of this that I asked this boy, prior to dating my girlfriend if he was okay with it." I honestly was. I wanted her to be happy. I didn't want to deny her from being with the guy he truly likes just for me. "I taught the fuck how to shave" And I appreciated that "I enjoyed his company and thought of him as a really good friend. He put me in a good mood and few people did that for me." I enjoyed yours as well. I know you tried to be my best friend. Do you think I'm proud of what I've done? I'm really not. You thought of me as a guy that doesn't experience shame. Well, the things that I've done regarding this situation are one the few things I'm actually shameful of. "he loved going to her house at around 11PM and getting her to come outside and asking her out. He hadn't done this one time, but multiple times and she would always just tell me what he had done." Kind of an exaggeration. I barely went there, and I never really asked her out. I merely asked her how she really felt about me. Which I know is really dumb. Like I said, I'm not proud of it. "I only had a major issue with it when he decided it was a good idea to kiss her." Again, this is the lowest point of my life and I truly am sorry for it. I never said any of you were to blame for this. In fact from my first post, I clearly stated that [B]I[/B] fucked up. "It's wonderful how she could blame herself" Not once did I not take the blame for anything. She keeps putting it on herself. Time and time again, I keep telling her that it's my fault. "Good job Jaric. I've never spoke to you about this, I just spoke to your mom because I didn't want to say anything to you and I didn't feel like dealing with the repercussions of foolishly punching the shit out of you but good job. " I kind of wish we did speak about this. "I do not know what kind of asshole decides that taking a kiss like that was a good idea. " I never once thought it was a good idea. I even said that it was the biggest mistake of my life. "Now this. We didn't get in a fight. She took her phone apart because she didn't want to talk to her parents and she was speaking of suicide." I wasn't there, so I had no way of knowing. "Evil boyfriend that's keeping his girlfriend from other guys woooOOoooOOoooo, makes for such good drama, eh Jarc?" I never said you were keeping her from other guys, nor that you were evil. I even said that it was understandable if you were keeping her away from me, and people agreed with it. Nobody thinks you're the bad guy here Robert. "Sorry for realizing that you do not give a fuck" Don't give a fuck about what? About her? About our relationship as friends? It means the world to me. I never intended to make her sad. That's the last thing I ever wanted to do. "You are not her savior and guardian from self harm" I'm not trying to be. I'm just trying to do whatever I can as a friend. I asked her how she felt about me twice, and if that's all she really felt about me. Once on her porch, another time over facebook. Then at one point, yes I kissed her. I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I did it, but I did it. I apologized directly afterwards, and proceeded to hate myself forever. Robert, I wasn't trying to sell you as a bad guy nor was I trying to make myself a hero. I just needed some help, and I thought I would turn to facepunch. I know that at this point you'd never forgive me and I understand that. I just want you to know that I truly am sorry.

My greatest hopes for this thread has just occured <3 Ive always wanted a situation like this to have both perspectives

[QUOTE=Dunsparce;40266827]"To start off, let me say I never told her they couldn't be friends." Well, I was never told anything about this. She just said that we couldn't be friends because of you, and that's what I assumed. [B]Wonderful assumption, honestly A+ work by you on that part.[/B] "Please keep in mind while you're reading through all of this that I asked this boy, prior to dating my girlfriend if he was okay with it." I honestly was. I wanted her to be happy. I didn't want to deny her from being with the guy he truly likes just for me. [B]How'd that work out for you? Honestly wanted her to be with the guy she likes just so long as it's you. Okay.[/B] "I taught the fuck how to shave" And I appreciated that [B]This isn't how you show your appreciation, I was only trying to set the stage for any onlooker to understand that I actually cared for my friend, something you're not very good at.[/B] "I enjoyed his company and thought of him as a really good friend. He put me in a good mood and few people did that for me." I enjoyed yours as well. I know you tried to be my best friend. Do you think I'm proud of what I've done? I'm really not. You thought of me as a guy that doesn't experience shame. Well, the things that I've done regarding this situation are one the few things I'm actually shameful of. [B]You're still shameless. You still won't quit and you've ruined all hope of me thinking you're actually just wishing to be friends. You've pushed it hard as fuck, it's not like this is a one time thing.[/B] "he loved going to her house at around 11PM and getting her to come outside and asking her out. He hadn't done this one time, but multiple times and she would always just tell me what he had done." Kind of an exaggeration. I barely went there, and I never really asked her out. I merely asked her how she really felt about me. Which I know is really dumb. Like I said, I'm not proud of it. [B]Didn't ask her out, let me correct that and say that they were just constant confessions. It really does not make a difference.[/B] "I only had a major issue with it when he decided it was a good idea to kiss her." Again, this is the lowest point of my life and I truly am sorry for it. I never said any of you were to blame for this. In fact from my first post, I clearly stated that [B]I[/B] fucked up. [B]Yeah, you say you don't know what came over you. You're pretty crummy at this whole writing thing.[/B] "It's wonderful how she could blame herself" Not once did I not take the blame for anything. She keeps putting it on herself. Time and time again, I keep telling her that it's my fault. [B]"YOU DIDN'T CHEAT ON ROBERT OH IT WAS ME OH I'M SORRY GOSH" Cool, A+ job at taking the blame. Go ahead and say you don't know her personality well enough, or that it's out of character.[/B] "Good job Jaric. I've never spoke to you about this, I just spoke to your mom because I didn't want to say anything to you and I didn't feel like dealing with the repercussions of foolishly punching the shit out of you but good job. " I kind of wish we did speak about this. [B]I find it pretty disgusting. I'm pretty disgusted with myself when I think of you. I really don't regret never bringing it up, I've asked you if you were done before, in person. You said yes and then you went ahead with your shit. The worst of your shit.[/B] "I do not know what kind of asshole decides that taking a kiss like that was a good idea. " I never once thought it was a good idea. I even said that it was the biggest mistake of my life. [B]You don't have an excuse. The biggest mistake off your life spits in the face of every claim of being selfless regarding her that you've ever made. You went to her house, you talked to her about how selfish you've been and how she's different and then you grabbed her head and kissed her. Yeah, impulse. Mistake![/B] "Now this. We didn't get in a fight. She took her phone apart because she didn't want to talk to her parents and she was speaking of suicide." I wasn't there, so I had no way of knowing. [B]Lovely assumptions lacking any sort of "I actually have no fucking idea but let me type this because it looks better".[/B] "Evil boyfriend that's keeping his girlfriend from other guys woooOOoooOOoooo, makes for such good drama, eh Jarc?" I never said you were keeping her from other guys, nor that you were evil. I even said that it was understandable if you were keeping her away from me, and people agreed with it. Nobody thinks you're the bad guy here Robert. [B]You make it out to be that way, Jarc. If you understood you wouldn't act the way you do.[/B] "Sorry for realizing that you do not give a fuck" Don't give a fuck about what? About her? About our relationship as friends? It means the world to me. I never intended to make her sad. That's the last thing I ever wanted to do. "You are not her savior and guardian from self harm" I'm not trying to be. I'm just trying to do whatever I can as a friend. [B]Yeah, gonna get a smoochie are ye' when you tell her bout' how you saved her life? Did you even tell your parents? Did you do anything except BYPASS THE COUNSELOR SECURITY GUARDS OH MY GOD THANK YOU THAT BIT MADE ME SO HAPPY. Official bad ass with a just cause.[/B] I asked her how she felt about me twice, and if that's all she really felt about me. Once on her porch, another time over facebook. Then at one point, yes I kissed her. I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I did it, but I did it. I apologized directly afterwards, and proceeded to hate myself forever. Robert, I wasn't trying to sell you as a bad guy nor was I trying to make myself a hero. I just needed some help, and I thought I would turn to facepunch. I know that at this point you'd never forgive me and I understand that. I just want you to know that I truly am sorry. [B]I'm sorry I wasn't a good enough friend for you to wish that both your best friend and whatever I was to be happy together. Honestly I do. Not like I care now. Not like being sorry for anything will make me say "Oh you hung out with Jaric afterschool today? That's cool! How was it?" Not like you've ever once shown that you were sorry for any of the things you've done. Buying her gifts and flowers screams "I'm ready to be just friends."[/B] [/QUOTE] Edit: [QUOTE]"Sorry for realizing that you do not give a fuck" Don't give a fuck about what? About her? About our relationship as friends? It means the world to me. I never intended to make her sad. That's the last thing I ever wanted to do.[/QUOTE] If you cared about her you have an awful idea of how you're meant to treat someone you're in "love" with. You had it okay Jaric. Hope you're happy with what you've traded it for. Again, this would be way more convincing had you not put your tongue in her mouth. I can totally buy the whole "I just won't give up on true love! (Or that you're best friendies until the end, that you're saying now!)" shit you feed everyone but you did something god awful. You're not exactly taking the high road by expecting everything to work out no matter what stupid shit you do. It doesn't help that I warned her that you would never be done, and you always proved me right. I was only being paranoid but heh, good going with that.

[QUOTE]How'd that work out for you? Honestly wanted her to be with the guy she likes just so long as it's you. Okay.[/QUOTE] Not once did I tell her to stop being with you, not once did I tell her to be with me. I knew she was happy with you and I left it at that. Yeah, I may have told her how I really felt from time to time but I did not do anything that would make her unhappy. [QUOTE]This isn't how you show your appreciation, I was only trying to set the stage for any onlooker to understand that I actually cared for my friend, something you're not very good at. [/QUOTE] I'm sorry you feel that I didn't do much for you when we were friends. If there was anything you wanted I would have gladly taken it into consideration [QUOTE]"YOU DIDN'T CHEAT ON ROBERT OH IT WAS ME OH I'M SORRY GOSH"[/QUOTE] That's not remotely how I handled that at all. I would go forever to convince her that it was my fault. I keep telling her that she should stop blaming everything on herself. [QUOTE]I find it pretty disgusting. I'm pretty disgusted with myself when I think of you. I really don't regret never bringing it up, I've asked you if you were done before, in person. You said yes and then you went ahead with your shit. The worst of your shit.[/QUOTE] I can't apologize enough for this [QUOTE]Yeah, gonna get a smoochie are ye' when you tell her bout' how you saved her life? Did you even tell your parents?[/QUOTE] My parents weren't at home at the time, and I tried to contact them once but they didn't pick up. I told them afterwards. I was also thinking of calling the police but according to her therapist it didn't really sound like a threat to kill herself. Which is when I got skeptical, and when I was just about to call the police I met up with you. And you didn't tell me anything. You were just walking pretty calmly. It didn't look like anything was wrong, so I didn't call. [QUOTE]Not like you've ever once shown that you were sorry for any of the things you've done.[/QUOTE] Well how would you like me to show this? Look I get it alright? I'm an asshole. No, really I do. I don't even know what we're really arguing about. You're telling me that what I did was wrong and unforgivable, and I'm agreeing. And if there's really no way for you to forgive me then I guess it's over.

this is fucking intense

Wait what the fuck are these are the two guys??? [editline]13th April 2013[/editline] DAAAAMN

[QUOTE=Dunsparce;40267262]Not once did I tell her to stop being with you, not once did I tell her to be with me. I knew she was happy with you and I left it at that. Yeah, I may have told her how I really felt from time to time but I did not do anything that would make her unhappy.[/QUOTE] Yes, that shit doesn't make her feel anything. Yeah, she clearly doesn't care about her best friend and having him tell her of how he wishes they were dating really doesn't put any stress on the girl. You don't honestly think this, do you? You don't honestly think that she wants you to continue your shit, or think that it doesn't do anything to her? Okay! [B]EDIT: I can't stress how much bullshit that is. Had to edit to say this, just, dear god. The sarcasm doesn't do it justice.[/B] [QUOTE] I'm sorry you feel that I didn't do much for you when we were friends. If there was anything you wanted I would have gladly taken it into consideration [/QUOTE] I'm not saying you were a useless friend then, the things you've done as my friend are nothing when you go behind my back, never man enough to talk to me about it, but instead go to my girlfriend and tell her of how you would like to be together. I've long since removed us being friends at one point to the equation of "is it a good idea to be A-OK with my girlfriend being close with someone who she tells me she regrets trusting?" [QUOTE] That's not remotely how I handled that at all. I would go forever to convince her that it was my fault. I keep telling her that she should stop blaming everything on herself. [/QUOTE] I've seen the Skype messages. That really wasn't a summary or anything, just the best my memory could serve me. [QUOTE] I can't apologize enough for this [/QUOTE] True enough, this doesn't really stop you from thinking it's something forgivable. [QUOTE] My parents weren't at home at the time, and I tried to contact them once but they didn't pick up. I told them afterwards. I was also thinking of calling the police but according to her therapist it didn't really sound like a threat to kill herself. Which is when I got skeptical, and when I was just about to call the police I met up with you. And you didn't tell me anything. You were just walking pretty calmly. It didn't look like anything was wrong, so I didn't call. [/QUOTE] Yeah, you didn't know what was going on but took matters into your own hands, which isn't a bad thing necessarily. I wasn't going to explain to you what was going, I didn't think you needed to know anymore than you did. I was walking to her mom's work, just to drop off her things and have her speak to me. Not like there was much else you could do except be scared I suppose, and run about -bypassing security guards-, oh my god that's so good. It's not like I'm going to be upset at you for showing concern. [QUOTE] Well how would you like me to show this? Look I get it alright? I'm an asshole. No, really I do. I don't even know what we're really arguing about. You're telling me that what I did was wrong and unforgivable, and I'm agreeing. And if there's really no way for you to forgive me then I guess it's over.[/QUOTE] I guess my point is that you don't know when something is over. We're [B]talking[/B] about how little water almost everything you say holds. How do you show you're sorry? Hmmm, very good question. Definitely don't continue what you've been doing. It's not really effective. Honestly I won't be trusting you from here on out, so I'd like to hope you're screwed and only wish she doesn't make another friend that acts like you do. Unfortunate.

[QUOTE]Yes, that shit doesn't make her feel anything.[/QUOTE] She's never said anything about it to me. If she had just told me once that it was really bothering her, I would have stopped. Not like she showed that it was killing her in her reactions either. She answered me very calmly every time [QUOTE]I'm not saying you were a useless friend then, the things you've done as my friend are nothing when you go behind my back[/QUOTE] Completely understandable [QUOTE]I've seen the Skype messages. That really wasn't a summary or anything, just the best my memory could serve me.[/QUOTE] I only use skype to talk about serious things if it's really necessary. If possible I talk to her in person or I give her a call. What you see in skype is just the tip of the iceberg. Trust in me when I say that I've been drilling it into her head that she should stop putting everything on her shoulders since the moment I met her. [QUOTE]Yeah, you didn't know what was going on but took matters into your own hands[/QUOTE] Anyone who received a phone call like that would have done what I did. [QUOTE]I guess my point is that you don't know when something is over.[/QUOTE] Point taken. Not like it matters now does it? As I'm completely out of both of your lives. I don't even hang out with the group with you guys anymore. [QUOTE]How do you show you're sorry? Hmmm, very good question. Definitely don't continue what you've been doing. It's not really effective. Honestly I won't be trusting you from here on out[/QUOTE] Again, it doesn't really matter anymore. This is like the first time we've talked in a month. Not to mention, I wouldn't have talked to her if she didn't call me. You want me out of your life? I can grant that wish. Only like 5 months before I PCS out.

[QUOTE=Dunsparce;40267583]She's never said anything about it to me. If she had just told me once that it was really bothering her, I would have stopped. Not like she showed that it was killing her in her reactions either. She answered me very calmly every time[/QUOTE] Really? [quote] I only use skype to talk about serious things if it's really necessary. If possible I talk to her in person or I give her a call. What you see in skype is just the tip of the iceberg. Trust in me when I say that I've been drilling it into her head that she should stop putting everything on her shoulders since the moment I met her.[/quote] Oh, no doubt. I'm sure. She's only sent me what you told her as soon as you got home from "The biggest mistake of your life~" I'm sure it's a bad example. [QUOTE] Point taken. Not like it matters now does it? As I'm completely out of both of your lives. I don't even hang out with the group with you guys anymore.[/QUOTE] Not as if you were doing it because you thought it was the right thing to do. Not like you were even asked or anything of that sort. I really like how you asked her why she ate in the cafeteria when you sacrificed so much by not going to the food court, so she wouldn't have to see you. I like how you thought it'd be nice of you to [B]inform[/B] her of your good intentions of [B]staying away from her[/B], so things worked out of course. Not at all to let her know that you cared so much. [QUOTE] Again, it doesn't really matter anymore. This is like the first time we've talked in a month. Not to mention, I wouldn't have talked to her if she didn't call me. You want me out of your life? I can grant that wish. Only like 5 months before I PCS out.[/QUOTE] Bye?

From my point of view, Jaric hates himself enough for all those mistakes And it's understandable that Robert is mad, really understandable If I had to give you guys advice it'd be something like "yeah, shit happened, just try to prevent it from happening in the future and move on" But then again, we're only getting the two opposite views on a really complex story so not much we can say about it

[QUOTE] I really like how you asked her why she ate in the cafeteria when you sacrificed so much by not going to the food court[/QUOTE] Well i thought it was stupid for the both of us to leave the group. One's enough. I thought it should have been me since I did the damage. [QUOTE]Not at all to let her know that you cared so much.[/QUOTE] I don't see what's wrong with letting her know I care. Honestly, I'm just some guy that asked a forum their opinion on what I should do next. They gave me an answer, and I did what they told me to do. I don't see anything wrong with that. It just seems like you want to make me look stupid in front of everyone. Which I guess is understandable. Yeah, I'm the bad guy. What I did was wrong and I'm not asking for forgiveness because I know that's impossible at this point. All I want to do now is move on. That's why I asked around for advice. I needed help to move on. So yeah, bye. I honestly hope you both have a happy life together. But as of right now I'm just trying get by, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped rubbing my mistakes in my face. I'm not doing that to you, and there are definitely some things that I can attack. I just don't see the point in doing that since we can both just continue to ignore each other and live on with our lives. [QUOTE=Yahnich;40267941]please take this to the pm system this drama is boring me[/QUOTE] I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start a show.

Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.