Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[TheBirdman]

[QUOTE=Gatsby;42462464]I feel like something is missing. I also feel like there is something holding me back, i don't know what it is or what it is holding me back from.[/QUOTE]

I used to feel like that, so I quit my job and got a new one. The idea was to completely alienate myself and burn through all the akwardness I could as fast as possible. After a month at the new place I felt great, like I fit in some part of society and was completely satisfied with whatever I did.

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=Gatsby;42462464]I feel like something is missing. I also feel like there is something holding me back, i don't know what it is or what it is holding me back from.[/QUOTE]

its an important thing to feel. its the drive to self-actualisation.

[papaya]

I'm way too careful in what I do. I hesitate before I speak, I think of something to say but the conversation has already moved past and I don't want to go back to it. I plan entire conversations in my head and then never even speak to that person that day. I prefer to take a back seat when with a group because if I open my mouth and speak I'll say something stupid or out of line. I don't like doing anything unless I know 100% exactly what I'm doing.

hell I even rewrote this post like 5 times

I also apparently have a really quiet voice and one thing I absolutely hate is saying something and then having to repeat it.

shit like this makes me want to keep to myself and be introverted, even though I silently wish I could go out with people more.
is there something I can do to just be ok with going out to places with other people and not feel terrible and awkward when I do?

[Big D Duchovny]

[QUOTE=papaya;42464359]I'm way too careful in what I do. I hesitate before I speak, I think of something to say but the conversation has already moved past and I don't want to go back to it. I plan entire conversations in my head and then never even speak to that person that day. I prefer to take a back seat when with a group because if I open my mouth and speak I'll say something stupid or out of line. I don't like doing anything unless I know 100% exactly what I'm doing.

hell I even rewrote this post like 5 times

I also apparently have a really quiet voice and one thing I absolutely hate is saying something and then having to repeat it.

shit like this makes me want to keep to myself and be introverted, even though I silently wish I could go out with people more.
is there something I can do to just be ok with going out to places with other people and not feel terrible and awkward when I do?[/QUOTE]

Well, put yourself in situations where you have to talk, and force yourself to add something. I'm not one for recommend copious amounts of drinking as solutions, but alcohol can help some people socialize immensely - I know people who are normally pretty quiet, but become downright social when drinking. Look out, though, it's not necessarily a solution.

And I'm talking like a few beers, not binge drinking. Alcohol loosens the tongue, and you might hesitate less.

[Daniel Smith]

[QUOTE=OogalaBoogal;42462313]You should probably go see a doctor.[/QUOTE]

I do and he says it's not a problem, what a fucktard

[MindMuncher]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;42461951]I've always had a visual hallucination problem but it has gotten worse. If I turn out the lights I see shapes and people and monsters that aren't there, this is NOT normal. It is getting extremely bad to the point where I have trouble sleeping because of these hallucinations.[/QUOTE]

Embrace it.

Rough textures like grass get all lumpy when I stare at them and move around.
When I was little I used to pretend that there was a giant mole-beast underground digging an elaborate system of caves.

Unless you're just inherently uncomfortable with it. Then I don't know.

[Leader of Me]

There's some girl I've been getting chatty with recently, she's been talking about how she hates being single and shit, I hope that is some sort of a hint.

[Slowbro]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;42465082]I do and he says it's not a problem, what a fucktard[/QUOTE]

See a better one then

[RainbowStalin]

[QUOTE=Leader of Me;42466098]There's some girl I've been getting chatty with recently, she's been talking about how she hates being single and shit, I hope that is some sort of a hint.[/QUOTE]

See thread title

[pfoot]

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;42461951]I've always had a visual hallucination problem but it has gotten worse. If I turn out the lights I see shapes and people and monsters that aren't there, this is NOT normal. It is getting extremely bad to the point where I have trouble sleeping because of these hallucinations.[/QUOTE]

i have this too. have you done lots of drugs lately?

[Taepodong-2]

Today I had a chance to talk to a girl in one of my classes who I've wanted to talk to for the start of the semester but I didn't take it. Now her friends came and that screwed up any chance of me talking to her after the class either. How come sometimes I can do this stuff but most of the time it's so hard for me?

[Thelurker1234]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42469618]Today I had a chance to talk to a girl in one of my classes who I've wanted to talk to for the start of the semester but I didn't take it. Now her friends came and that screwed up any chance of me talking to her after the class either. How come sometimes I can do this stuff but most of the time it's so hard for me?[/QUOTE]

Pretty sure that happens to everyone. You'll get another chance sometime

[Daniel Smith]

[QUOTE=Slowbro;42466170]See a better one then[/QUOTE]

This is like the third "better one" i've been to. They are all tools who only care about a paycheck.

[Dyson6]

Been trying to schedule a second date with this girl, and she's dropped out at the last minute three separate times. BUT she has no problem giving me a new, specific day to reschedule and seems totally engaged in phone/text conversations.

I don't doubt it's possible to have a lot of stuff going on, but I can't help but get pretty paranoid. My jumping to conclusions has definitely gotten me into trouble before though.

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42469618]Today I had a chance to talk to a girl in one of my classes who I've wanted to talk to for the start of the semester but I didn't take it. Now her friends came and that screwed up any chance of me talking to her after the class either. How come sometimes I can do this stuff but most of the time it's so hard for me?[/QUOTE]

talk to her friends too

[Taepodong-2]

There's also this really cute girl I see around campus quite a bit, but most of the time I see her is when we're walking in opposite directions and I have a class to go to. Today I was walking to my class which turned out to be cancelled and when we walked past each other we made eye contact and awkwardly smiled at each other, although she seemed to be way more awkward about it than me. Other than that I'll see her sitting be herself reading with headphones on once in a while but to me that just makes it look like she doesn't want people talking to her.

So I'm essentially asking how I should go about talking to this girl some time.

[editline]9th October 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;42470315]talk to her friends too[/QUOTE]

Her friends are neckbeards who wear fedoras and camo hats.

[Nerfed]

[QUOTE=Dyson6;42470153]Been trying to schedule a second date with this girl, and she's dropped out at the last minute three separate times. BUT she has no problem giving me a new, specific day to reschedule and seems totally engaged in phone/text conversations.

I don't doubt it's possible to have a lot of stuff going on, but I can't help but get pretty paranoid. My jumping to conclusions has definitely gotten me into trouble before though.[/QUOTE]

If she's not eager for a second date, you didn't make a good impression on the first. It differs from person to person, but usually you only have one chance.

Be strong and let her know it; last chance, no more rescheduling. There's really no need to treat her like the bad guy, but I've seen this "first date goes fine, every attempt at second date is cancelled at the last sec- oh look she has a boyfriend now." bullshit happen to friends more than enough times. It's not worth the stress.

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42470510]There's also this really cute girl I see around campus quite a bit, but most of the time I see her is when we're walking in opposite directions and I have a class to go to. Today I was walking to my class which turned out to be cancelled and when we walked past each other we made eye contact and awkwardly smiled at each other, although she seemed to be way more awkward about it than me. Other than that I'll see her sitting be herself reading with headphones on once in a while but to me that just makes it look like she doesn't want people talking to her.

So I'm essentially asking how I should go about talking to this girl some time.[/QUOTE]

Just grab an opportunity and start talking. Keep in mind that it's irresistibly intriguing to people if they can't determine why someone is talking to them. You're obviously into her, but if you don't show it (while staying clear from "I'm just talking out of boredom" as well), you'll have her attention. Works on pretty much everyone. It's a subconscious thing.

Also mind your body language (and hers). Assume a relaxed pose and don't fiddle with shit (like the buttons on your shirt or whatever).

[Dyson6]

[QUOTE=Nerfed;42470669]If she's not eager for a second date, you didn't make a good impression on the first. It differs from person to person, but usually you only have one chance.

Be strong and let her know it; last chance, no more rescheduling. There's really no need to treat her like the bad guy, but I've seen this "first date goes fine, every attempt at second date is cancelled at the last second" bullshit happen to friends more than enough times. It's not worth the stress.[/QUOTE]

That's why I'm so confused over it. I've had it happen to me before, but it was easy because they gave no impression of wanting anything to do with me.
She SEEMS to legitimately enjoy talking to me, and she only pushes the plans back a day or two at the most which is kind of unusual to do as well.

If she's just stringing me along, she's way too dedicated about it.

[RainbowStalin]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42470510]There's also this really cute girl I see around campus quite a bit, but most of the time I see her is when we're walking in opposite directions and I have a class to go to. Today I was walking to my class which turned out to be cancelled and when we walked past each other we made eye contact and awkwardly smiled at each other, although she seemed to be way more awkward about it than me. Other than that I'll see her sitting be herself reading with headphones on once in a while but to me that just makes it look like she doesn't want people talking to her.

So I'm essentially asking how I should go about talking to this girl some time.

[editline]9th October 2013[/editline]

Her friends are neckbeards who wear fedoras and camo hats.[/QUOTE]

Whoaoao neckbeard better stay away

or maybe you could speak to them anyway because maybe they're nice people

Or you know keep your internet prejudices with you in the real world and never make any friends ever

[Fire Kracker]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42470510]There's also this really cute girl I see around campus quite a bit, but most of the time I see her is when we're walking in opposite directions and I have a class to go to. Today I was walking to my class which turned out to be cancelled and when we walked past each other we made eye contact and awkwardly smiled at each other, although she seemed to be way more awkward about it than me. Other than that I'll see her sitting be herself reading with headphones on once in a while but to me that just makes it look like she doesn't want people talking to her.

So I'm essentially asking how I should go about talking to this girl some time.

[editline]9th October 2013[/editline]

Her friends are neckbeards who wear fedoras and camo hats.[/QUOTE]
talk to them anyways

[editline]9th October 2013[/editline]

i don't like fedora's or camo hats but for the most part in person they're alright

sometimes they talk too much but they're alright

[editline]9th October 2013[/editline]

and neck beards are ugly but there are many many people wearing them who are completely sociable

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42470510]
Her friends are neckbeards who wear fedoras and camo hats.[/QUOTE]

youre in no position to be that judgmental, jesus

[Thelurker1234]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42470510]There's also this really cute girl I see around campus quite a bit, but most of the time I see her is when we're walking in opposite directions and I have a class to go to. Today I was walking to my class which turned out to be cancelled and when we walked past each other we made eye contact and awkwardly smiled at each other, although she seemed to be way more awkward about it than me. Other than that I'll see her sitting be herself reading with headphones on once in a while but to me that just makes it look like she doesn't want people talking to her.

So I'm essentially asking how I should go about talking to this girl some time.

[editline]9th October 2013[/editline]

Her friends are neckbeards who wear fedoras and camo hats.[/QUOTE]
Have you spoke to them before? Terrible style doesn't guarantee someone is an asshole.

[Doomevil]

So tuesday I started to sign up for a club, it's a GSA(Gay-Straight Alliance) that I find myself curious to see and went anyway. Turns out it's not bad to get into. I actually participated too, so good for me at least.

[RainbowStalin]

[QUOTE=doomevil;42472134]So tuesday I started to sign up for a club, it's a GSA(Gay-Straight Alliance) that I find myself curious to see and went anyway. Turns out it's not bad to get into. I actually participated too, so good for me at least.[/QUOTE]

What exactly is a gay-straight alliance?

[Doomevil]

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;42472283]What exactly is a gay-straight alliance?[/QUOTE]

I guess it's a club to attract awareness for accepting different sexual orientations on human rights in general.

[Aries]

[QUOTE=papaya;42464359]I'm way too careful in what I do. I hesitate before I speak, I think of something to say but the conversation has already moved past and I don't want to go back to it. I plan entire conversations in my head and then never even speak to that person that day. I prefer to take a back seat when with a group because if I open my mouth and speak I'll say something stupid or out of line. I don't like doing anything unless I know 100% exactly what I'm doing.

hell I even rewrote this post like 5 times

I also apparently have a really quiet voice and one thing I absolutely hate is saying something and then having to repeat it.

shit like this makes me want to keep to myself and be introverted, even though I silently wish I could go out with people more.
is there something I can do to just be ok with going out to places with other people and not feel terrible and awkward when I do?[/QUOTE]
i'm doing this thing as of late where if i have a thought I promise myself I [I]must[/I] go through with it. Of course, I'll think about it beforehand - is it going to hurt someone/kill someone/be logistically possible. But so far I've started lifting weights, wrote a song for a girl I'm really close to (but not romantically, haha), went to an amazing concert, made peace with my ex, attended like three parties in the last week and made a bunch of new friends. It's going well for me. Maybe try it?

[OogalaBoogal]

snip

[Dyson6]

[QUOTE=Dyson6;42470871]That's why I'm so confused over it. I've had it happen to me before, but it was easy because they gave no impression of wanting anything to do with me.
She SEEMS to legitimately enjoy talking to me, and she only pushes the plans back a day or two at the most which is kind of unusual to do as well.

If she's just stringing me along, she's way too dedicated about it.[/QUOTE]

Also just adding on, I don't feel comfortable confronting her about it because her last excuse was that she had some weird family issues going on. If that turns out to be true, I feel like that would kind of make me look really selfish and insensitive.

[Thelurker1234]

[QUOTE=Heigou;42447995]Sometimes I quit my skype and turn off any link to the outside world I have on the computer and don't answer phones for a full week, I do that once a year maybe, I feel refreshed by the end.[/QUOTE]

I really like this idea actually, I may do it next week since at school we pretty much have most of it off.

Also got a question about dating, what about transportation, if driving yourself or walking isn't an option, should you just get one of your parents to drive or one of your friends?

[Rhenae]

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;42472283]What exactly is a gay-straight alliance?[/QUOTE]

GSA is a club we had at my school too. Its a support and awareness group for lgbt stuff in the school, was one of the most popular clubs we had actually. They ran a couple poster ad campaigns around the school and most events were just hanging out and getting along.

My school was already quite accepting (although people still couldnt get over not calling things gay as in lame but whatever) and the group seemed entirely pointless to me, so I never bothered going but it would be a great place to meet nice people.