Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Loopoo]

If I'm out enjoying my day, the last thing I want is a beefy stranger (you beefy stranger, you, Maverick) to cosy up next to me and tell me the latest trials and tribulations our generation is facing. Talk to me about food, or movies, or something fun. I'm not really a politics or debating kind of person, I suppose.

[Taepodong-2]

Yeah if I'm just getting to know someone, especially a girl I might want to date, I'm not going to want to go into some deep debate about sensitive topics.

[Tin Can™]

Alroyt here's the beans

Triple follow-follow up on this again
[QUOTE=VaSTinY;42328995]bla bla lesbians yada yada boom shaka laka broccoli ravioli[/QUOTE]

So after she explained her situation to me and after we went to that movie (she put overly extra effort on makeup for going as "just friends" that night, bright red lipstick etc), at this point I don't know if she really is lesbian or not because she's been giving me alooot of intense signals that weren't there before.

She makes it really clear and straightforward by moving into my intimate space without hesitation when outside being very comfortable around me, and leaning closely toward me to the side when seated, etc.

I want to ask her about it because it's killing me seeing her give me some really intense signals after she told me she's lesbian - But during our first talk about it she suggested "we don't need to bring it up, and start over", and I don't know how seriously she takes those words because I don't want to risk loosing an awesome friend.

[MaverickIB]

I think you're trying to see things that aren't there.

I have plenty of female friends who aren't romantically interested in me and have no problem with getting close/touching and whatnot. It just means she is comfortable around you, doesn't mean she's romantically interested. Putting on make-up, really? Sometimes girls just feel like putting on makeup, just how sometimes I just feel like dressing a little nicer than normal even if I'm just grabbing a bite to eat with a friend.

I've said this a lot before and I'm going to say it again. "Signals," are bullshit. Stop trying to read them. Your brain sees what it wants to see, it will interpret anything she does as interest or a "signal." If she told you not to bring it up then don't bring it up. If she says she's a lesbian then she is a lesbian and not interested. Get over it, move on, stop trying to convince yourself things are different.

[Tin Can™]

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42503302]I think you're trying to see things that aren't there.

I have plenty of female friends who aren't romantically interested in me and have no problem with getting close/touching and whatnot. It just means she is comfortable around you, doesn't mean she's romantically interested. Putting on make-up, really? Sometimes girls just feel like putting on makeup, just how sometimes I just feel like dressing a little nicer than normal even if I'm just grabbing a bite to eat with a friend.

I've said this a lot before and I'm going to say it again. "Signals," are bullshit. Stop trying to read them. Your brain sees what it wants to see, it will interpret anything she does as interest or a "signal." If she told you not to bring it up then don't bring it up. If she says she's a lesbian then she is a lesbian and not interested. Get over it, move on, stop trying to convince yourself things are different.[/QUOTE]

Thanks, that's probably what I needed to hear. She is overly flirty with me though and it shows.

[MaverickIB]

She could be just a naturally flirty person. Or, like I said, comfortable with you. It means nothing.

[killerteacup]

man i feel a bit bad but im not sure if i should really

went out last night with two quite attractive and lovely girls from my work
didn't make any moves on them and I didn't really feel like doing so - wouldn't have stood a chance plus they're nice girls and I don't want to shit where I eat at work and suchlike

however they both made me hold their second drinks which I then sipped out of slowly because if I have something in my hand I always just drink it and then they took a taxi to another club and I went with them in the taxi because it was on my way to the train station to take me home - and I was over clubbing for the night. But I didn't pay them back for the taxi fare (they were going to the club regardless of whether I was too and it was on my way)

so I feel pretty bad now but I don't know if its [I]really[/I] that bad

[OscarLimaEcho]

Just pay them back for the taxi fare?

[killerteacup]

maybe I should but it'd be like $5

sorta weird hunting them down at work to hand them a $5 note but I guess I could

[Tin Can™]

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42503419]She could be just a naturally flirty person. Or, like I said, comfortable with you. It means nothing.[/QUOTE]

Nah, she wasn't showing it this much before that. She was usually pretty held back and is still around other people. The things I mentioned aren't even all of the things she does

[GreenDolphin]

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42496439]It isn't because I'm an asshole (actually a really nice dude when it comes to females) or any dumb bullshit like that, it's because I'm not afraid of being myself.[/QUOTE]

Don't know if I'm completely misreading this but you seem to apply you treat women more positively than men in general behaviour and attitude?

[GoldenGnome]

[QUOTE=thisispain;42497849]shrug[/QUOTE]

im having a hard time interpreting this post.

[OscarLimaEcho]

[QUOTE=VaSTinY;42504153]Nah, she wasn't showing it this much before that. She was usually pretty held back and is still around other people. The things I mentioned aren't even all of the things she does[/QUOTE]

You're still just seeing what you want to see, and it wouldn't fucking matter, she told you not to bring it up.

[Aries]

on the earlier subject of clubs, i find it really really fucking hard to talk to just walk up to a person in a club. this is normal, right? i mean i can dance with people and have a good time but as for walking away with a name it's really difficult unless we're going to be banging (we're not)

this isn't a "help me i'm bad at socialising" cry, just making sure: that's kinda normal, right?

[Leader of Me]

I don't know if I'm strange but, ever since I broke up with my girlfriend I haven't really been attracted to anyone, yet whenever I think of her I'm attracted to her. I don't have feelings for her its just annoying feeling like I'm not attracted to anyone else, its like I'm only attracted to her and no one else.

[MuffinZerg]

I am finally single and free like the american eagle.

Just wanted to share.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=GreenDolphin;42504264]Don't know if I'm completely misreading this but you seem to apply you treat women more positively than men in general behaviour and attitude?[/QUOTE]

that's pretty normal, just most people who do it don't realize they're doing it.

[MaverickIB]

I think it's because throughout most of my young childhood, I was raised by my mother and two older sisters. Father wasn't really around much because he worked all the time. So I just naturally feel more comfortable around women, and women tend to feel more comfortable around me than they do with most males.

[zenby]

Stuff's happening and I feel like people are actively excluding me from stuff and I think I'm having an anxiety attack, I feel really sick right now

[MadBomber]

So I'm starting to find a long distance relationship really -really- hard to cope with thanks to a few significant events that have happened in the past few days which I will keep abridged;

*Boyfriends parents decided they dont like me, Cant visit him he has to visit me, cuts time to see each other to once every 4-6 months for a week at most.

*Uni is stressing me out big time, have only one close friend here to talk about stuff (and snuggle when needed)

*Stress Is causing me to crave physical contact, something more intimate than just a hug or two, I'm not too sure how others operate but skin to skin contact is something that just keeps me going (I love people <3)

*Closest friend has seemingly bagged himself a girl (which made me a little jelly to say the least), though its still a bit out in the open in terms of how it may or may not continue, made me realize I'm lonely as fuck without my boyfriend around.

Without my boyfriend around when I need him my physical and emotional needs are starting to spiral out of control because of the listed events. One major difference between us that would fix the situation if we both felt the same way is that (without sounding too much like a hippy) I like openness with relationships, while I dont mind devoting myself to a single person I take pride and pleasure in becoming intimate with more than just one person, which my last relationship worked with if we wernt able to access each other, we understood we sometimes needed a little intimacy and if we couldn't access one and other we would hunt for another. My current boyfriend (who I do love dearly) unfortunately doesn't see things in the same way and so far I've respected his wishes but its getting just so fucking hard to deal with due to my increasing stress and loneliness without him. The past 3 or 4 days have had me as an emotional wreck.

Help ;~;

[sp]Sorry if my description of whats wrong seems messy, its 3am and I'm dead tired :v:[/sp]

[RainbowStalin]

Why don't you organize meeting your boyfriend somewhere halfway and spend a weekend together if its becoming this big a problem.

[MadBomber]

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;42515953]Why don't you organize meeting your boyfriend somewhere halfway and spend a weekend together if its becoming this big a problem.[/QUOTE]

Belive me I've thought of this but neither of us have the money for such a thing really, He still lives with his parents as he's at college and My student loan only just covers my rent and food. And for whatever fucking reason travel across this tiny little country can be silly expensive.

[Emugod]

I've recently started texting this girl that I like. However, she's very inconsistent with her replies. Sometimes the replies come 5-20 minutes after my text, and sometimes I get a reply after 8-10 hours or not at all. I understand that she may be busy, but it shouldn't take so long to reply to a text, should it?. Could it be that she's just not interested in me enough to reply, or am I being unreasonable?

[MadBomber]

[QUOTE=Emugod;42516205]I've recently started texting this girl that I like. However, she's very inconsistent with her replies. Sometimes the replies come 5-20 minutes after my text, and sometimes I get a reply after 8-10 hours or not at all. I understand that she may be busy, but it shouldn't take so long to reply to a text, should it?. Could it be that she's just not interested in me enough to reply, or am I being unreasonable?[/QUOTE]

If she's anything like me, she may leave her phone on silent or leave it places and totally forget about it sometimes only to return to it with about 1000 texts.

[Emugod]

[QUOTE=MadBomber;42516277]If she's anything like me, she may leave her phone on silent or leave it places and totally forget about it sometimes only to return to it with about 1000 texts.[/QUOTE]

She's just very inconsistent. I send her a text saying "Hello", and she responds an hour later. That's fair, she probably hadn't checked her phone for a while. I respond within 3 minutes of her message, then get a response from her within 4 minutes. Ok, so she's checking her phone more often now, I suppose. I send her a text within a minute after that, should give her ample time to check her phone, right? Well, it's been 40 minutes since I sent the message and nothing.

IDK, maybe I'm thinking too much into this. Maybe she's just really busy. I guess I'll just sit tight until she responds or wait until tomorrow.

I'm also kind of worried that I'm being a bit clingy by sending her so many texts. AAHHHH, I don't want to mess this up. It's been too long since I've had a relationship and I really want this to work. This has been bugging me all day. I've felt like complete shit. I need something to take my mind off this, but nothing is working.

[Heigou]

Looking too much into it.

[Agoat]

[QUOTE=Emugod;42516357]She's just very inconsistent. I send her a text saying "Hello", and she responds an hour later. That's fair, she probably hadn't checked her phone for a while. I respond within 3 minutes of her message, then get a response from her within 4 minutes. Ok, so she's checking her phone more often now, I suppose. I send her a text within a minute after that, should give her ample time to check her phone, right? Well, it's been 40 minutes since I sent the message and nothing.

IDK, maybe I'm thinking too much into this. Maybe she's just really busy. I guess I'll just sit tight until she responds or wait until tomorrow.

I'm also kind of worried that I'm being a bit clingy by sending her so many texts. AAHHHH, I don't want to mess this up. It's been too long since I've had a relationship and I really want this to work. This has been bugging me all day. I've felt like complete shit. I need something to take my mind off this, but nothing is working.[/QUOTE]
If you're counting the minutes, you need to calm down. I know you're really into this girl, but you're going to run her off if you don't chill out. If you'd like a positive spin, girls like guys that don't freak out over texts, or other really meaningless things. Add me to Steam or Skype (agoat944) if you need a proper pep talk. (Honestly this goes for anyone with lady troubles.)

In other news, I've been having a lot of nightmares. Not sure what's causing them, but it's been a ton of fun. Not even joking, it's exciting.

[OscarLimaEcho]

stop focusing om making it "work", there's a difference between fixing a relationship, and trying to get a girl to like you.. you're being clingy before you're even in a relationship. calm down and just text with her.

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;42514200]I think it's because throughout most of my young childhood, I was raised by my mother and two older sisters. Father wasn't really around much because he worked all the time. So I just naturally feel more comfortable around women, and women tend to feel more comfortable around me than they do with most males.[/QUOTE]

i think all men would like to think women feel more comfortable around them

[OscarLimaEcho]

thisispain versus MaverickIB clash of the titans go