Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42534923]
so what you're saying is you don't actually want to do anything with your life but sit on your ass in front of your computer and complain to the internet?
that's great and all, but you might not want to waste everyone's time in an advice thread pretending you're trying to improve.[/QUOTE]

No, I do want to improve. I'm not going to say the advice isn't helpful because it is giving me ideas for things I can do, they just happen to be things I don't necessarily want to do at the present time. If I didn't have to read so much for my classes, I'd be reading books all the time.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42534947]nobody gives a fuck about things that interest me.[/QUOTE]

no
people would give a fuck about you (and your interests) if you gave a fuck about yourself
if you hate yourself and keep complaining about how you're socially inept and can't do anything in life and are a boring person, then that's what you're going to come off as to everyone you meet.
if you don't like who you are then fix it. self respect is hard to learn but fix everything else and it will follow. if you think you're boring then try to expand your interests. obviously you don't like the suggestions we've given so do a google search or something. right now you don't even care enough to try and pull yourself out of the rut you keep bitching about.
but nobody is universally boring, just because you don't have mainstream interests doesn't mean every person you meet is going to be bored to tears. even if your interests are more obscure there are people out there who would love to talk to you about them.
you don't need to be a renaissance man to just hold a conversation with a stranger. just be human. talk to people and find out what you have in common, just because you don't have the same hobbies doesn't mean you can't relate on a more basic level.

[MaverickIB]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42535011] If I didn't have to read so much for my classes, I'd be reading books all the time.[/QUOTE]

This is horseshit. My sister is finishing up her last year of law school in Washington DC, has her face buried in a million books every day because the amount of reading is astronomical, yet still has plenty of time to go out and do fun things with her multitude of friends who are also in law school/doing the same amount of reading.

Even the hardest levels of school are not that goddamn time consuming. I know people who are full-time students with full-time jobs (sometimes multiple jobs) and I still run into them on a regular basis when I go out.

The, "I'm too busy with school," is pretty much the most horseshit excuse in the world.

[Boss]

Video gives some good advice.

Embrace it with open arms

[video=youtube;_a4VH-L5mYw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_a4VH-L5mYw[/video]

[MuffinZerg]

I suggest we stop feeding his need to whine. Seriously, he has been given enough advice to keep him busy for months, if not years.

[Metallics]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42534918]

I'm able to go outside and walk around, doesn't mean I'm going to aimlessly wander around like an idiot though.[/QUOTE]

Just putting this out there, they make things called maps, so you can make an informed decision and not wander aimlessly, it's what one of my hobbies boils down to.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;42533696]So I posted a few days ago and only got one response on it. I'd kind of like to update, but I'll make it simple:

-Like a girl from work / university (she's 23, I'm 21)
-Went to a show last weekend, she brought her friend who's a guy, but she danced with me pretty close and moved my hand down her waist while we danced.
-Was sitting behind me on the drive home, put her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek
-At the end of the night and insisted on coming up to my dorm to see the place - her friend was in the car
-Ended up just giving her a hug at the end of the night - first time hanging out outside of work
-She invited me to help her set up a surprise party at the gallery she interns at
-Insistent on coming to my 21st birthday in a week, going to see my friend's band play and hitting up bars
-Invited me to yet another show the weekend after
-Coming to see some more bands play the following week (yes a ton of bands and shows)

Anyways, we text pretty regularly, they're more than just "hey" too. Maybe about 20 texts back and forth every day or two, she's hardly ever on her phone and takes a while to reply, so I don't find this to be lacking. I was thinking about inviting her over to my place to carve pumpkins or do something hands-on since it's almost Halloween.

I feel like she expresses interest, but I don't know if it's just her being friendly. Age gap doesn't worry me, I like that she's older. I feel pretty mature for my age and confident in what I'm doing with my life. I'm also pretty artistic, which she likes - she's majoring in art history.

What should I make of this? Just friends, potential love interest? Thanks.[/QUOTE]

if you don't know then ask her out. even if she's not interested as long as you don't make a big deal out of it it shouldn't have any impact on your friendship.

[editline]15th October 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;42534328]Anyone has an idea?...[/QUOTE]

she probably thinks you're cute

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42534457]The last time I was comfortable with myself was when I was about 13 years old. I had awesome friends, a somewhat normal social life, but my asshole parents just decided "lol we're moving" and I haven't been comfortable with myself since then. I was never able to get back what I had before. So basically I've been completely uncomfortable with myself and where I am in my life and it just gets worse and worse all the time as I see more and more of my friends getting into relationships and abandoning me for significant others and I just want it to be my turn for that. So I don't know how to be comfortable with myself anymore. I don't want to be the guy who only leaves his dorm room to go to class, but I honestly have no other choice.

[editline]15th October 2013[/editline]

So I'm the one exception to the rule of everyone being interesting in some way.[/QUOTE]

the only reason you're saying this is because you dont want to be hurt. you've got an obviously fragile ego and youre protecting yourself.

unfortunately protecting yourself by moving away from the world will only make the pain from not being close to people more and more, till you plunge yourself into a world of self-victimisation and self-harm.

i've moved and been uncomfortable with myself my entire life. ive lived all over the EU, and then i had to move to the united states. it's hard to express yourself when you have to speak different languages so you turn inward, even if you're like me and you're completely an outward person. you shield yourself because you're afraid of the reality.

that the objects of your hatred might not deserve the hatred. that the pain within yourself was inflicted to you by yourself and not "the other". that the only reason you exist is so you can garner the praise of other people to bolster your own ego.

but i was lucky because i met interesting people and discovered the world beyond that. i found out about philosophers and expressive people who expressed what they saw and understood it before society proxied it to them. i learned that the meaning of life was to not be a lifeless body to the society but to be autonomous and form a collective consciousness with others, expressed through love, friendship, collective struggle, etc etc. i learned that i don't have to be anyone if i don't want to be. in my short life-span that's all i know so far, but im motivated to keep learning. i don't get hurt because every failure teaches me something.

you want to call yourself an exception to the rule because the reality is a lot more scary, you're the same as everyone else who all have their own unique problems and reasons to exist, their own unique struggles. society consists of lonely people, and you hate to see people have something you don't, which is a normal feeling that we all feel.

to improve as a person you have to sink deep and go really down before you can realise the folly of your own condition. the only reason you're even posting here is to validate your own problems.

how about instead, you just try to let yourself fall down as much as possible and see if you can discover your own motivations and reasons to do anything. if you don't do that you'll just be a slave to what we say, which isnt the point of this thread

some babies are born easily, and some children have to get cut out of their mother's abdomen because they get tangled up.

[OogalaBoogal]

[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;42533696]So I posted a few days ago and only got one response on it. I'd kind of like to update, but I'll make it simple:

-Like a girl from work / university (she's 23, I'm 21)
-Went to a show last weekend, she brought her friend who's a guy, but she danced with me pretty close and moved my hand down her waist while we danced.
-Was sitting behind me on the drive home, put her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek
-At the end of the night and insisted on coming up to my dorm to see the place - her friend was in the car
-Ended up just giving her a hug at the end of the night - first time hanging out outside of work
-She invited me to help her set up a surprise party at the gallery she interns at
-Insistent on coming to my 21st birthday in a week, going to see my friend's band play and hitting up bars
-Invited me to yet another show the weekend after
-Coming to see some more bands play the following week (yes a ton of bands and shows)

Anyways, we text pretty regularly, they're more than just "hey" too. Maybe about 20 texts back and forth every day or two, she's hardly ever on her phone and takes a while to reply, so I don't find this to be lacking. I was thinking about inviting her over to my place to carve pumpkins or do something hands-on since it's almost Halloween.

I feel like she expresses interest, but I don't know if it's just her being friendly. Age gap doesn't worry me, I like that she's older. I feel pretty mature for my age and confident in what I'm doing with my life. I'm also pretty artistic, which she likes - she's majoring in art history.

What should I make of this? Just friends, potential love interest? Thanks.[/QUOTE]

Just make your intentions clear, whatever you do.

[Agoat]

[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;42533696]So I posted a few days ago and only got one response on it. I'd kind of like to update, but I'll make it simple:

-Like a girl from work / university (she's 23, I'm 21)
-Went to a show last weekend, she brought her friend who's a guy, but she danced with me pretty close and moved my hand down her waist while we danced.
-Was sitting behind me on the drive home, put her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek
-At the end of the night and insisted on coming up to my dorm to see the place - her friend was in the car
-Ended up just giving her a hug at the end of the night - first time hanging out outside of work
-She invited me to help her set up a surprise party at the gallery she interns at
-Insistent on coming to my 21st birthday in a week, going to see my friend's band play and hitting up bars
-Invited me to yet another show the weekend after
-Coming to see some more bands play the following week (yes a ton of bands and shows)

Anyways, we text pretty regularly, they're more than just "hey" too. Maybe about 20 texts back and forth every day or two, she's hardly ever on her phone and takes a while to reply, so I don't find this to be lacking. I was thinking about inviting her over to my place to carve pumpkins or do something hands-on since it's almost Halloween.

I feel like she expresses interest, but I don't know if it's just her being friendly. Age gap doesn't worry me, I like that she's older. I feel pretty mature for my age and confident in what I'm doing with my life. I'm also pretty artistic, which she likes - she's majoring in art history.

What should I make of this? Just friends, potential love interest? Thanks.[/QUOTE]
She kissed you. Don't be stupid.

[Heigou]

Fuck me, this Taepodong guy reminds me too much of myself a few years back, I was the same, wanting everyone to help but not willing to help myself, waiting for everything to be handed to me on a silver platter.

I don't know what changed though, I had made several attempts at getting better and I always just abandoned and went back to my self-loathing and self-pity shit but the instant I hit 20 years old, it's like it all suddenly changed, lost fucking 100 pounds, picked up guitar and singing, love working out, loves cooking, all this shit.

I'm just hoping for Taepodong to go through the same change I did once he turn 20 years old, sometimes it seems time is a good cure.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=Heigou;42535965]Fuck me, this Taepodong guy reminds me too much of myself a few years back, I was the same, wanting everyone to help but not willing to help myself, waiting for everything to be handed to me on a silver platter.

I don't know what changed though, I had made several attempts at getting better and I always just abandoned and went back to my self-loathing and self-pity shit but the instant I hit 20 years old, it's like it all suddenly changed, lost fucking 100 pounds, picked up guitar and singing, love working out, loves cooking, all this shit.

I'm just hoping for Taepodong to go through the same change I did once he turn 20 years old, sometimes it seems time is a good cure.[/QUOTE]

i think a lot of people go through the same thing, it's more comforting to convince yourself you're helpless and couldn't possibly be doing anything to improve your life. sooner or later you realize that making yourself happy is your own responsibility, not everyone else's.

[Kindlinho]

Well shit, I just realized I am Taepodong. Just a few months older!
And with more hobbies I guess.

[Taepodong-2]

Well I decided to help myself stop comparing my life to other people by deleting everyone but family and close friends on Facebook. It's not much but it's a start.

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;42536173]Well shit, I just realized I am Taepodong. Just a few months older!
And with more hobbies I guess.[/QUOTE]

everyone is taepodong.

*roman slave rises up* i am taepodong

[theobod]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42536271]Well I decided to help myself stop comparing my life to other people by deleting everyone but family and close friends on Facebook. It's not much but it's a start.[/QUOTE]

Dude, start playing a god damn instrument. If you can keep a beat then try on drums like I did when I didnt have any good hobbys, its great fun. Most girls dig a dude who can play guitar, try that.

[thisispain]

i never got that, im great on guitar and its never helped me get any girrrls
then again maybe you mean those people who play acoustic songs in coffee shops. ive never done that.

[Meller Yeller]

I had a co-worker over the summer who would brag about going to the beach with his guitar and picking up girls. He would then show me pictures of him having sex with different girls on his phone the next day.

One of the best friends I ever had. He made it a priority that summer to break me out of my Taepdong-like shell, and it's worked wonders for me since.

[pfoot]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42536271]Well I decided to help myself stop comparing my life to other people by deleting everyone but family and close friends on Facebook. It's not much but it's a start.[/QUOTE]

come on man are you even trying

[thisispain]

but the girls whod know sonic youth and momus songs wouldnt go to the beach in the first place would they

[Meller Yeller]

[QUOTE=thisispain;42536498]but the girls whod know sonic youth and momus songs wouldnt go to the beach in the first place would they[/QUOTE]

I don't even know who you're talking about.
Dude played country music on his guitar. You're going to get the best reception from country music if you're playing to drunk people in Florida.

[thisispain]

Being a Hipster Killed My Sex Life

[editline]15th October 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;42536524]I don't even know who you're talking about.
Dude played country music on his guitar. You're going to get the best reception from country music if you're playing to drunk people in Florida.[/QUOTE]

i hate country music.
except really old 78's. i like the slide lapsteels

[Juice_Layer]

[QUOTE=thisispain;42536380]i never got that, im great on guitar and its never helped me get any girrrls
then again maybe you mean those people who play acoustic songs in coffee shops. ive never done that.[/QUOTE]

This one gets pussy. Everyone knows it too. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDc3TvM2_O8[/media]

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=pfoot;42536493]come on man are you even trying[/QUOTE]

Yes I am trying because pretty much everyone I deleted from Facebook are the kind of people who are constantly posting pictures of them partying and being surrounded by hot girls and just generally having a good time. If I don't have to see that it can make me feel slightly less inadequate.

[editline]15th October 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=theobod;42536312]Dude, start playing a god damn instrument. If you can keep a beat then try on drums like I did when I didnt have any good hobbys, its great fun. Most girls dig a dude who can play guitar, try that.[/QUOTE]

Money is an obstacle here, although that's a pretty big excuse I'll admit because you can buy decent used guitars for pretty cheap. Either way I don't want to deal with my mom getting mad at me for wasting money because that's what she does whenever I buy something that's not school related, food or a video game.

[editline]15th October 2013[/editline]

Which is bullshit because I'm an adult and can make my own decisions with what I spend my money on but whatever.

[GeeOhDee]

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42534789]Please tell me what are these mythical hobbies I can do that don't involve dropping hundreds of dollars.[/QUOTE]

Read books, learn shit. Learn some massage therapy, learn some yoga and do it every day, exercise, learn how to cook and what to eat to be in good health, READ MORE EDUCATIONAL BOOKS, learn to dance, practice drawing/painting, practice playing an instrument, go for runs, learn to make herbal soaps, go pick certain flowers or herbs and make your own teas, learn to and grow some plants which you can use for food, learn and practice fixing clothes or even making them, practice writing (write a journal including everything you do in your day), learn and practice some sport, and so on. All these things I listed are free to do. Go to your public library if you're lucky enough to have one, you have no excuse not to. All other books you can find with some searching on the internet.
Get a cheap instrument, fuck guitars, everyone plays that shit. Get a bamboo flute if you have to, they're cheap as hell.

Find something you don't know about and learn it, or even something you think you're good at and get better. There's so many things to do, and it gives you much to do and talk about. You'll be able to show people and even teach them all these things you're good at and improving on.

Try something out properly before making up your mind about it, and get off the computer unless you're using it to access certain information to help you do all this stuff.

Live and enjoy life. Once you can do it, other people will be able to do so with you too. Otherwise you'll be the person that has to find interesting people and stick around them.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=GeeOhDee;42536726]Read books, learn shit. Learn some massage therapy, learn some yoga and do it every day, exercise, learn how to cook and what to eat to be in good health, READ MORE EDUCATIONAL BOOKS, learn to dance, practice drawing/painting, practice playing an instrument, go for runs, learn to make herbal soaps, go pick certain flowers or herbs and make your own teas, learn to and grow some plants which you can use for food, learn and practice fixing clothes or even making them, practice writing (write a journal including everything you do in your day), learn and practice some sport, and so on.[/QUOTE]

these are great suggestions. cooking is a great idea, i hadn't thought of that.
diet and exercise both have an enormous impact on your mood. if you aren't eating healthy already, then learning to cook healthy food would be a great use of time. cooking is a skill you're going to need to learn in order to be independent, so you might as well get an early start.

to add to that list, sing. you don't have to take lessons to become good at it, you just need to practice a lot and find out what works/doesn't work.

[thisispain]

[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;42536608]This one gets pussy. Everyone knows it too. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDc3TvM2_O8[/media][/QUOTE]

holy shit that sucks

[editline]15th October 2013[/editline]

[QUOTE=GeeOhDee;42536726]
Live and enjoy life. Once you can do it, other people will be able to do so with you too. Otherwise you'll be the person that has to find interesting people and stick around them.[/QUOTE]

passion is attractive. at least to me it is. people who show passion are the people i'd want to talk to.

[Guy Mannly]

[QUOTE=thisispain;42536751]passion is attractive. at least to me it is. people who show passion are the people i'd want to talk to.[/QUOTE]

exactly. just being alive and enjoying life will make you attractive. most people won't be interested in you if it's clear you require their attention in order to be happy.
getting into a relationship should be something you try to do after you're already happy with your life, not before. you can't depend on another person to be happy, you need to figure out how to make yourself happy first.

[Plattack]

I used to feel like taepodong and then I joined my school's drama club. Now I'm friends with a ton of people I'd never really spoken to before that.

9/10 would recommend acting.

[Taepodong-2]

[QUOTE=Plattack;42537416]I used to feel like taepodong and then I joined my school's drama club. Now I'm friends with a ton of people I'd never really spoken to before that.

9/10 would recommend acting.[/QUOTE]

I wish I could do this because all the girls at my university who are in drama are hot as fuck and I managed to talk to one of them who was in one of my classes and she was really nice, even if she never spoke to me again.