Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
11,088 replies, posted
Fuck i'm 15 and i just realized that i haven't went out with some friends in a quite looong time, and...
Oh damn i can't word this without taepondonging, the point is that i want to go out more and make some friends, but it's hard because i'm afraid of the unknown.
That's how most of my university aquaintances end, you meet up with them randomly and have some nice conversations. You might even do something some day or be invited to a party, then it just dies down for some reason.
So I have a friend who's afraid to talk to girls and since girls like him, they invite him to his lunch table each day. Everyday he sits there too afraid to say anything before he gets cut off by someone else. Recently he asked me for advice and I told him talking to girls becomes something you get used to when you become older (he only just started getting zits on his face). He thinks the best thing to do is to sit with someone he isn't afraid to talk with until he doesn't feel afraid to talk to them and I said I'd get back to him if that was the right thing or not, and if it wasn't then I'd give more advice. Since I can't decide which is the right one, can you guys respond with what you think?
But the thing is: YOU TOTALLY CAN
and if you fuck up, who cares? no one! because you tried and that's 10x better than any alternative.
the only way for you to take control of your life, is for you to start making decisions and get outside your comfort zone, no excuses!
[QUOTE=Cosa8888;42537704]Fuck i'm 15 and i just realized that i haven't went out with some friends in a quite looong time, and...
Oh damn i can't word this without looking like that guy from last page, the point is that i want to go out more and make some friends, but it's hard because i'm afraid of the unknown.[/QUOTE]
I never really went out that much before being 17. It's also a pretty bad experience anyway unless it's in a private place. You will just have trouble getting into bars and clubs anyway. It's not worth the hassle and a silly thing to do when you're only 15.
From my experiences going out is a pretty bad way of making friends, over the time I met a few people which were nice and established themselves as some drinking buddy but it never evolved into a good friendship. If you're looking for more people to hang out, just talk to guys at school. I really miss being at highschool, the social experience there was just different compared to university and work. I miss my old classes a lot.
[QUOTE=junker154;42537736]I never really went out that much before being 17. It's also a pretty bad experience anyway unless it's in a private place. You will just have trouble getting into bars and clubs anyway. It's not worth the hassle and a silly thing to do when you're only 15.
From my experiences going out is a pretty bad way of making friends, over the time I met a few people which were nice and established themselves as some drinking buddy but it never evolved into a good friendship. If you're looking for more people to hang out, just talk to guys at school. I really miss being at highschool, the social experience there was just different compared to university and work. I miss my old classes a lot.[/QUOTE]
The thing is that i don't want to do the school-house-sleep routine every single day
Well, the "school-spending time with friends-house-sleep" variation might help you out. There are numerous things that you can do after school, hang out with friends, doing sports, grabbing a drink or whatever comes to your mind. If you have a few buddies, this surely wont' be a problem.
During summer you can enjoy the sunny weather, during winter you can get drunk by drinking to many Glühwine. It's not really that hard.
Double down on extracurriculars like sports. Get a hobby! Go see a movie!
[QUOTE=Agoat;42535467]She kissed you. Don't be stupid.[/QUOTE]
I assume you mean - don't be stupid, she likes you? Just being perfectly clear haha. I invited her to do those pumpkins and she was like hell yeah. Pretty swick.
She definitely likes you
[QUOTE=junker154;42537736]I never really went out that much before being 17. It's also a pretty bad experience anyway unless it's in a private place. You will just have trouble getting into bars and clubs anyway. It's not worth the hassle and a silly thing to do when you're only 15.
From my experiences going out is a pretty bad way of making friends, over the time I met a few people which were nice and established themselves as some drinking buddy but it never evolved into a good friendship. If you're looking for more people to hang out, just talk to guys at school. I really miss being at highschool, the social experience there was just different compared to university and work. I miss my old classes a lot.[/QUOTE]
going out doesnt mean going to bars and shit where i come from, and its a great way to make friends, wtf
you can go bowling, you can go watch movies, you can go to friend's houses, you can do lots of stuff
just get a couple of friends from school and go do something, get them to get their friends and stuff
Honestly, I feel like Taepodong could use some proof that people aren't as scary as they may first seem.
That was my initial barrier. I was always afraid of rejection, or bugging people, or being un-interesting, but my first class this year was a group designed not only for college readiness, but for developing those social skills. There are people from all parts of life in that class, and we all get along great because we were encouraged to come out of our shells and interact with each other.
Now sure, all the people interacting in one class doesn't mean everyone isn't scary, but it's a start! I'm more open to starting conversations and being out-going than I ever used to be. Figuring out how to be yourself around people and not let those judging thoughts take a hold of you is one of the most important things, and it'll help you a lot more than you may realize.
[QUOTE=dmillerw;42538444]Honestly, I feel like Taepodong could use some proof that people aren't as scary as they may first seem.
That was my initial barrier. I was always afraid of rejection, or bugging people, or being un-interesting, but my first class this year was a group designed not only for college readiness, but for developing those social skills. There are people from all parts of life in that class, and we all get along great because we were encouraged to come out of our shells and interact with each other.
Now sure, all the people interacting in one class doesn't mean everyone isn't scary, but it's a start! I'm more open to starting conversations and being out-going than I ever used to be. Figuring out how to be yourself around people and not let those judging thoughts take a hold of you is one of the most important things, and it'll help you a lot more than you may realize.[/QUOTE]
I don't just have these thoughts about people in my head. They're coming from my actual experience. With some very rare exceptions, I do feel like I'm bothering people when I'm talking to them and they aren't interested in anything I say. But maybe that's because I'm so afraid of rejection that I'm scared to say anything more personal than asking where they're from and what their major is.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42538506]I don't just have these thoughts about people in my head. They're coming from my actual experience. With some very rare exceptions, I do feel like I'm bothering people when I'm talking to them and they aren't interested in anything I say. But maybe that's because I'm so afraid of rejection that I'm scared to say anything more personal than asking where they're from and what their major is.[/QUOTE]
you can't succeed at anything until you stop being afraid to fail.
rejection will happen sometimes. it's not necessarily personal, it's not your fault if you don't click with someone. either accept the possibility of failure or never move forward in your life.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42538506]I don't just have these thoughts about people in my head. They're coming from my actual experience. With some very rare exceptions, I do feel like I'm bothering people when I'm talking to them and they aren't interested in anything I say. But maybe that's because I'm so afraid of rejection that I'm scared to say anything more personal than asking where they're from and what their major is.[/QUOTE]
A lot of it is also projection as well. You think youll be bugging them so you read their body language as bugging and boring them, even though it might not be.
The brain is very flexible at confirming its own conclusions.
Anyway, my own advice is that you focus too much on others. You need to focus on yourself and what do you want and need. You said earlier your mom would get mad at you for buying something, but she has no right to. Where you have acknowledged that already, its true she doesnt if its your own money so tell her to bugger off if she does.
You need to start looking to yourself to make decisions and be the one to please. Dont count on other people to find you interesting but just interest yourself and go from there.
You also mentioned facebook, how other people post pictures of themselves enjoying a night out or whatever. Its not entirely conscious for a lot of people but thats intentional, they want to remind themselves they are liked and doing things, and to make other people who arnt doing things jealous. Facebook is a lot of seeking validation from other people, one way or another most posts are really. Its not all negative but its definitely there.
Just try to think at a root what you enjoy.
I enjoy knowledge and learning. The main reason I enjoy art is constantly learning how to do things better. I love trivia, books, and just generally gathering information.
Finding a root interest like that can give you a lot of possible hobbies you would enjoy to pull off it, so I would try figuring out what the root of why you enjoy videogames, guns, etc is and work from there to find similar things rather than the more artificial concept of "i like games" why do you like games? etc
Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V7 - I realised I am Taepodong, except with a life
wow 100+ posts and all about this whining.
I slept 2 hours a night last night and now it's 5 am wide awake, usually less. This has been going on for the past few years. I most sleep I get(i wake up around 6:30ish due to school) is by 3 am. If I'm lucky. I dont think it is insomnia though.
[QUOTE=Tennisball;42534008]does anyone here have any kind of experience with girls who have eating disorders????????[/QUOTE]
Don't expect to "fix" her.
[QUOTE=RocketRacer;42539580]wow 100+ posts and all about this whining.[/QUOTE]
On the other hand, this place is alive.
[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;42537850]going out doesnt mean going to bars and shit where i come from, and its a great way to make friends, wtf
you can go bowling, you can go watch movies, you can go to friend's houses, you can do lots of stuff
just get a couple of friends from school and go do something, get them to get their friends and stuff[/QUOTE]
Oh sorry, if you translate it in my language "going out" means getting drunk, go into clubs and bars etc.
My lifes turn to shit ever since breaking up with my ex, but shes the one making it awful. I dont sleep, eat, socialize, anything. Im going on anti depressants soon because i didnt pass these screenings my doctor gave me, life fucking sucks right now
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42536855]exactly. just being alive and enjoying life will make you attractive. most people won't be interested in you if it's clear you require their attention in order to be happy.
getting into a relationship should be something you try to do after you're already happy with your life, not before. you can't depend on another person to be happy, you need to figure out how to make yourself happy first.[/QUOTE]
literally the best thing to hope for in a person
if they're openly passionate about something, anything my attraction increases tenfold
There's a girl I like in my college, but I haven't the faintest clue if she likes me and, because of that, what I should do.
I've not dated before, so I'm not the best at reading people, but she seems to be sending mixed signals. I've had days where she follows me into a practice room and we play music and joke around for hours before going to dinner, and I've had days where she blatantly ignores me on campus.
She's told me to lay down next to her when we were watching a movie, and just last week she said we could watch a film in her room as all her roommates were away (which I didn't take her up on as I had promised others something that night). She also has a boyfriend according to her FB, but she's never mentioned him.
She helped me pick out some stuff for my first suit the other day, but she was working and couldn't come to my concert the night I wore it, so I went to her work right after to say hi and she seemed embarrassed. Her coworkers asked her if I was her boyfriend and she replied back, annoyed, that I was just a friend. I told her I just wanted to say hi and left. She was my only friend that didn't say anything about the suit.
Some friends (especially those who I've not told anything to) assume we're going to date, while others have advised me to not go out of my way to see her anymore. I know you guys can't get a complete picture through this, but if you could help me out I'd really appreciate it. I don't want to annoy her or make her uncomfortable.
[QUOTE=Schmoe222;42541516]There's a girl I like in my college, but I haven't the faintest clue if she likes me and, because of that, what I should do.
I've not dated before, so I'm not the best at reading people, but she seems to be sending mixed signals. I've had days where she follows me into a practice room and we play music and joke around for hours before going to dinner, and I've had days where she blatantly ignores me on campus.
She's told me to lay down next to her when we were watching a movie, and just last week she said we could watch a film in her room as all her roommates were away (which I didn't take her up on as I had promised others something that night). She also has a boyfriend according to her FB, but she's never mentioned him.
She helped me pick out some stuff for my first suit the other day, but she was working and couldn't come to my concert the night I wore it, so I went to her work right after to say hi and she seemed embarrassed. Her coworkers asked her if I was her boyfriend and she replied back, annoyed, that I was just a friend. I told her I just wanted to say hi and left. She was my only friend that didn't say anything about the suit.
Some friends (especially those who I've not told anything to) assume we're going to date, while others have advised me to not go out of my way to see her anymore. I know you guys can't get a complete picture through this, but if you could help me out I'd really appreciate it. I don't want to annoy her or make her uncomfortable.[/QUOTE]
I would say make a move. Won't hurt in the slightest.
[QUOTE=Schmoe222;42541516]There's a girl I like in my college, but I haven't the faintest clue if she likes me and, because of that, what I should do.
I've not dated before, so I'm not the best at reading people, but she seems to be sending mixed signals. I've had days where she follows me into a practice room and we play music and joke around for hours before going to dinner, and I've had days where she blatantly ignores me on campus.
She's told me to lay down next to her when we were watching a movie, and just last week she said we could watch a film in her room as all her roommates were away (which I didn't take her up on as I had promised others something that night). She also has a boyfriend according to her FB, but she's never mentioned him.
She helped me pick out some stuff for my first suit the other day, but she was working and couldn't come to my concert the night I wore it, so I went to her work right after to say hi and she seemed embarrassed. Her coworkers asked her if I was her boyfriend and she replied back, annoyed, that I was just a friend. I told her I just wanted to say hi and left. She was my only friend that didn't say anything about the suit.
Some friends (especially those who I've not told anything to) assume we're going to date, while others have advised me to not go out of my way to see her anymore. I know you guys can't get a complete picture through this, but if you could help me out I'd really appreciate it. I don't want to annoy her or make her uncomfortable.[/QUOTE]
The embarrassed part is really weird but that might because you just randomly showed up wearing a suit, of course her co workers are going to think that's weird. But what muffinzerg said, sounds like you should just ask her out and see what happens.
[QUOTE=thisispain;42536380]i never got that, im great on guitar and its never helped me get any girrrls
then again maybe you mean those people who play acoustic songs in coffee shops. ive never done that.[/QUOTE]
Yeah I meant those people.
Honestly I think the trope of 'guy playing guitar just to pick up girls' is so worn out, most people can tell if you're just playing because you think it'll get you pussy or if you're actually good at guitar.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42536271]Well I decided to help myself stop comparing my life to other people by deleting everyone but family and close friends on Facebook. It's not much but it's a start.[/QUOTE]
yeah because that'll help you meet new people
[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;42541855]Honestly I think the trope of 'guy playing guitar just to pick up girls' is so worn out, most people can tell if you're just playing because you think it'll get you pussy or if you're actually good at guitar.[/QUOTE]
I never saw how a guy playing your generic songs on an acoustic is attractive at all, sure I guess a guy who knows how to play guitar is cool and everything but just playing that generic stuff is just so dumb....people need to try something new though, what would happen if I showed up to my local beach in corpse paint and started playing Norwegian Black Metal? how many girls would I get? :v:
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