• Super Friendly Social and Love Advice V6 - JUST FUCKING ASK HER OUT
    11,088 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42567950]Is there any way I can make myself seem more open to talking to people? I understand if I want something I have to do it myself, but there has to be some way I can take some of the preassure of making friends off of myself.[/QUOTE] There isnt really, the requirement is still going to be on you. But basic tips for seeming approachable is having an open body language (dont cross your arms, lean back and generally be "open" physically. If your feeling uncomfortable you will naturally want to take up less space and it shows.), and dont always shove your face in a book or text or go on your ipod if your not talking or doing anything. People wont approach you if your doing something else. It will probably result in you spending a few classes staring at the walls but its something. Here, this might be helpful to you actually, and other people here: [video=youtube;Ks-_Mh1QhMc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc[/video]
It's important to view things as, "I'm gonna be myself and see who wants to be my friend," instead of, "I'm going to be someone people want to be friends with." Don't go into conversations hoping you can make that person want to be your friend. Go into conversations being yourself, if they like you, great. If they don't like you, oh well. It's better to have a few good friends who like you for who you are than a whole shitload who like you for who you're pretending to be. Let friendships develop naturally, don't try to force them.
i know i'm late but [QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;42540344]Don't expect to "fix" her.[/QUOTE] oh, not at all. just kinda need some guidance to make sure i don't do anything to make her uncomfortable
[QUOTE=Tennisball;42568175]i know i'm late but oh, not at all. just kinda need some guidance to make sure i don't do anything to make her uncomfortable[/QUOTE] Just talk to her as usual, don't point out that she has a disorder.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42567137]The friend was her roommate. You don't exactly need a phone to ask your roommate to hangout. I didn't state every single detail, and because of that, you're assuming things. And, I've had days where I haven't touched my phone all day and it'll be at 10% half way through the day.[/QUOTE] it's also totally not the bitchiest thing to not borrow her roommate's phone just to let you know that the date was off js you're being naive as fuck
Is that even fine that I am not yet asking out a girl I like in my arts class? I have moved to study here in august and we know each other only for a week basically. I want to get knowing her more before asking out in non-study time.
I had a similiar experience, just hang out with her at school and have some relax conversations. Perhaps you can grab some food together and be all cool to eachother without feeling it like a date, if she likes spending time with you, she sure wouldn't mind going out with you.
I fully endorse Maverick's contributions to these threads.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42543251]I don't even know. I was in line at Tim Horton's just now and there was this really attractive girl and she was all over this fat guy with a double chin and a neckbeard. It made me mad enough that I just said fuck it and went home.[/QUOTE] you have to be satire there's no way i mean c'mon
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;42569003]you have to be satire there's no way i mean c'mon[/QUOTE] i pity anyone who thinks looks are the only factor in an intimate relationship. [editline]18th October 2013[/editline] oh, and being skinny doesn't make you any more attractive than someone who's fat. especially when you're the one throwing a fit because you saw a happy couple.
I guess it really isn't my place to talk about who's in the right. There's a lot of factors that make me want to think that the ditch wasn't intentional. I mean, she suggested the dinner "date", if I can even call it that. It could simply be that it was just hanging out and nothing more. And, then, there's a lot of things that make me think that she just isn't interested in me and that I'm wasting my time trying to get her. But there's like a total of like 100 girls at the university I go to. 80% are commuters, 60% are in a relationship, 30% are unattractive, and 10% have guys flocking around them. The girl was the only one that showed some interest in me. Well, they were either signs of interest or simply friendliness. I can't differentiate the two.
First things first taepodong stop instantly judging people because they have facial hair on their chin. That might get you funnies in lmao pics but this is the real world we're talking about here. Instantly thinking less of someone because of their looks is dumb.
[QUOTE=junker154;42567548]20 sounds pretty old actually. Do you have issues finding a girl or are you generally afraid to have sex? I was in a relationship over a year without having sex because I had a really stupid anxiety and was generally afraid to have sexual intercourse.[/QUOTE] Naww I don't really have issues with finding a girl or with girls in general. I guess I'm kind of afraid of committing myself to another person like that. I often doubt my feelings for girls I'm seeing/dating and in the end nothing really happens and we stick to just being friends. Which is fine in a way, since I'm kinda terrified of hurting someone. But maybe I should take the plunge to see what it's like because I do feel like I'm missing out somehow. As for sex, last year I had this brief 'friends with benefits'-thing with a girl from my year. We ended up meeting at my place after a whole lot of sexting but goddamn it was awkward as hell. We both just stopped after some shitty foreplay because we were both kinda nervous and unexperienced (she was a virgin too). Never really felt comfortable around her anyway as she did kinda freak me out. So yeah if I'm having sex for the first time, I'd rather have it with someone I'm comfortable with and actually care about I think. Thanks for all the replies though guys, especially Maverick and MuffinZerg, you guys are cool
I'm embarrassed to even have to ask, but... Basically, I'm a virgin, she's not. And I'm 18 and a freshman in college, so it's not exactly socially acceptable at this point in my life, either. I know the girl likes me and at this point it really is only a matter of time until we have sex, but I'm terrified of how bad I'm sure I'm going to be. Is there anything I can do to not be god-awful and disappointing? I get really bad anxiety when I disappoint people, and being sexually disappointing would be just horrible.
[QUOTE=NoShogun;42569938]I'm embarrassed to even have to ask, but... Basically, I'm a virgin, she's not. And I'm 18 and a freshman in college, so it's not exactly socially acceptable at this point in my life, either. I know the girl likes me and at this point it really is only a matter of time until we have sex, but I'm terrified of how bad I'm sure I'm going to be. Is there anything I can do to not be god-awful and disappointing? I get really bad anxiety when I disappoint people, and being sexually disappointing would be just horrible.[/QUOTE] One key thing is to just enjoy it. A lot of females get very disappointed when the guy looks disinterested or hell even sad after the deed. Its a mutual thing, she'll want you to like it as much as you do.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;42569083]i pity anyone who thinks looks are the only factor in an intimate relationship. [editline]18th October 2013[/editline] oh, and being skinny doesn't make you any more attractive than someone who's fat. especially when you're the one throwing a fit because you saw a happy couple.[/QUOTE] Yes, I'm jealous because I saw a happy couple and trying to find something to make me feel better about my situation. It's an awful personality trait and I need to stop.
Why are you even posting, you try to so hard to keep up that "I'm a socially inedpt nerd and I'm a desperate cause" image. Please just stop, it's pathetic.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42570568]Yes, I'm jealous because I saw a happy couple and trying to find something to make me feel better about my situation. It's an awful personality trait and I need to stop.[/QUOTE] well then stop
[QUOTE=NoShogun;42569938]I'm embarrassed to even have to ask, but... Basically, I'm a virgin, she's not. And I'm 18 and a freshman in college, so it's not exactly socially acceptable at this point in my life, either. I know the girl likes me and at this point it really is only a matter of time until we have sex, but I'm terrified of how bad I'm sure I'm going to be. Is there anything I can do to not be god-awful and disappointing? I get really bad anxiety when I disappoint people, and being sexually disappointing would be just horrible.[/QUOTE] 2 things. 1) 18 is not too old to be socially acceptable as a virgin. At all. 2) Anyone who is no longer a virgin used to be at some point. They know what first times are like. The best way to not be entirely terrible your first time is to not stress about being entirely terrible. Because if you do you will be, because stress ruins sex. Dont worry about it, she should understand just fine, shes had a first time too, even if it was before yours.
[QUOTE=NoShogun;42569938]I'm embarrassed to even have to ask, but... Basically, I'm a virgin, she's not. And I'm 18 and a freshman in college, so it's not exactly socially acceptable at this point in my life, either. I know the girl likes me and at this point it really is only a matter of time until we have sex, but I'm terrified of how bad I'm sure I'm going to be. Is there anything I can do to not be god-awful and disappointing? I get really bad anxiety when I disappoint people, and being sexually disappointing would be just horrible.[/QUOTE] its gonna suck but just be open about it. no matter what you do you're gonna be terrible so don't stress - it's 100x better if you can laugh it off with her instead of stammering out an apology after horrible performance. and if she's a good person, she'll understand.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42566456]Wow, you're a complete tool. No one can have an excuse for anything? I'm not in denial nor am I seeing things how I want to see them. I'm giving her leeway because she's a person, and people aren't perfect. I talked to her after and asked what happened. She told me her phone had died and she couldn't reply back. This makes sense because it's 6 o'clock at night, she's a busy person, and probably hadn't charged her phone all day. It happens to me all the time. I'm an understanding person, unlike you. You're a no excuse, no exception person. You don't give a shit about others but yourself. You expect people to drop everything and do everything for you. That's not how it works in this world. Anyway, we talked and decided on another date on Sunday since I'll be gone for the weekend. I'm not going to ruin my chances with her because of some little thing like that.[/QUOTE] while yes all this about maverick is true dont get mad just because he says stuff you dont want to hear, this thread isnt here to validate your excuses [editline]19th October 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Larry_G;42567468]On a scale from 1 to neckbeard, how 'weird' is it that I haven't lost my virginity yet? I'm a regular 20 year old dude. I could have lost it like, 3 times already by now over the past few years but the first two times would have been cheating (as in the girl cheating on her boyfriends with me, of all things) and the third time was just too awkward and we didn't get passed some shitty foreplay. Never been in a real relationship either as well. Am I doing something wrong?[/QUOTE] its really none of anyone's business?
One of my better friends just told me that he's going to break up with his girlfriend, who I am also friends with, it looks like there isn't going to be much/any over drama or hatred, considering how their relationship just sort of peetered out, but do you think I'm going to have to "pick a side"? I've never had a precedent for this before, and really don't want to lose any friends over something as stupid as this.
you only pick if you want to. Its not impossible to stay with both [editline]19th October 2013[/editline] So I met this girl in Wednesday at a party. It was the first time I flirted with someone so well, it made me feel fucking awesome. I snuck 2 or 3 kisses on her lips and got her number before leaving. I find it interesting though, that I set up a date effortlessly for today and I didnt have any resistance of her part when she gave me her number, even though she said she has a boyfriend.
Who pays more?
[QUOTE=Emugod;42567035]I'm sorry, Maverick, you've just been pissing me off. I come to this thread looking for advice, not to feel like a piece of shit. I didn't want to be outright insulted. Something like "You should probably stay away from her" would have been fine instead of "You're pathetic for believing the shit she's spewing". Your "advice" is more shaming than anything. It's not even constructive criticism. I don't care if you do that shit to others, but don't fucking do it towards me. I don't need that shit.[/QUOTE] Sometimes, having someone carefully explain to you why you're such a dumb shit is the easiest way of becoming less of a dumb shit. He's perfectly right, and you're defending her when she had no issue with going on another date instead.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42567064]but who gives a shit.[/QUOTE] you certainly should, you got stood up
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;42567950]Is there any way I can make myself seem more open to talking to people? I understand if I want something I have to do it myself, but there has to be some way I can take some of the preassure of making friends off of myself.[/QUOTE] Probably need to work on your posture, don't fiddle with your clothes or whatever, don't slouch over like you're depressed.
[QUOTE=NoShogun;42569938]I'm embarrassed to even have to ask, but... Basically, I'm a virgin, she's not. And I'm 18 and a freshman in college, so it's not exactly socially acceptable at this point in my life, either. I know the girl likes me and at this point it really is only a matter of time until we have sex, but I'm terrified of how bad I'm sure I'm going to be. Is there anything I can do to not be god-awful and disappointing? I get really bad anxiety when I disappoint people, and being sexually disappointing would be just horrible.[/QUOTE] Well, 18 isn't late at all, it's totally acceptable - anyone who thinks otherwise is just a tool. She'll probably guide you though the whole, and really, don't be afraid to ask her to help you out. I suppose you know where the clitoris is and so on, so if you just focus a bit on this and that, it shouldn't be terrible. Don't jump ahead to the "real sex" part just cause - it'll probably be short and suck somewhat. Just do what you find natural and cuddle a bit afterwards. Overall the most important thing is that you trust each other and feel comfortable with it.
I got in with that chick and things seem to be looking good.
[QUOTE=Emugod;42567035]I'm sorry, Maverick, you've just been pissing me off. I come to this thread looking for advice, not to feel like a piece of shit. I didn't want to be outright insulted. Something like "You should probably stay away from her" would have been fine instead of "You're pathetic for believing the shit she's spewing". Your "advice" is more shaming than anything. It's not even constructive criticism. I don't care if you do that shit to others, but don't fucking do it towards me. I don't need that shit.[/QUOTE] Everything he said was true, truth is harsh bro learn to deal with it [editline]19th October 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=GoDong-DK;42574013]Well, 18 isn't late at all, it's totally acceptable - anyone who thinks otherwise is just a tool. She'll probably guide you though the whole, and really, don't be afraid to ask her to help you out. I suppose you know where the clitoris is and so on, so if you just focus a bit on this and that, it shouldn't be terrible. Don't jump ahead to the "real sex" part just cause - it'll probably be short and suck somewhat. Just do what you find natural and cuddle a bit afterwards. Overall the most important thing is that you trust each other and feel comfortable with it.[/QUOTE] The best thing to do is just to have fun, I didn't even tell the girl I lost my v to that I was a virgin, I actually came real fast but she didn't notice and I just kept going till I nutted a second time. She never had any Idea that it was my first time cause she enjoyed it so much
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